Southern Constellations

For the past twenty minutes, we've just laid here together. Vic's arms were snaked around my waist, and he was stroking my hair absentmindedly. My arms were around his torso and my head was against his bare chest, I was slowly falling back to sleep to the sound of his rhythmic heartbeat. Our legs were tangled together, as well. I could've laid there forever. I wanted to lay there forever. But all good things come to an end.

"Get up, we've gotta' get ready for the show!" Jaime yelled, shaking both Vic and I.

I moaned, and pulled the blankets over my face. I cuddled into Vic's chest more and he chuckled, causing his heartbeat to pace a little faster than before.

"Don't move." I whispered against his chest.

"I'd take the blankets, but I don't want to see what's under ther-"

I hit Jaime's arm with all of the strength I could muster so early in the morning. "Stop." I demanded, defense in my voice.

Jaime chuckled in response. "Okay!" He smiled, his dimples showing broadly. "It's Kellin's turn to wake you up tomorrow anyways." He said, a laugh still in his voice.

I sighed as Vic made his way out of the bunk. I did the same.

I quickly wrapped the navy blue blanket around my shoulders, and stumbled outside. I could tell that it was way to early to be alive right now.

I made my way to the nearest bus, which happened to be Of Mice. I crossed my fingers, hoping that someone was up. Whether it be Tino, Austin, Phil, Alan, or Tinika.

I knocked on the metal door, my knuckles turning red instantly. As my patients shortened, I wrenched the door open.

"Cora? What're you doing?" Alan asked, staring at me sleepily.

I shivered. "Trying to survive." I answered, sitting next to him and pulling my knees up to my chest. "Cuddle me before I die."

He chuckled softly, and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I moved closer to him, and embraced his body heat.

I had my blanket, I was warm, I wasn't moving for the rest of the day. It was official. I had no interest in the outside world for the day. And because of this trait that so often became dominant, I would never be able to achieve my dream of touring with my own band. But I was grateful, because I had the closest to that thing at my fingertips.

"Can I see your phone?" I asked, staring up at the ginger.

He nodded. "Yeah, sure." He grabbed his cell phone, that was connected to his charger, from the table. He handed it to me, and I dialed Kellin's number. After a second or two, he answered.

"Cora?" He asked groggily. I couldn't ignore the sudden remorse I felt for waking him up.

"Sorry I called you so early."

"It's fine"

A smile made it's was onto my lips. "I'll be staying with Tinika today, okay? I'll just be on OM&M's bus." I notified him, yawning.

He laughed softly. "'Mkay."

I hung up the phone, and handed it back to Alan. I quickly thanked him, and stood up. "Are you up for good?" I asked, curiously.

He nodded. "Yeah,"

I smiled, and made my way back to his bunk. I wanted to sleep all day. I was tired, even though I had already gotten twelve hours of sleep. I was always tired.

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"Do I look okay?" Tinika asked, turning away from the pier glass.

Her purple hair illuminated under the lights. Her tight skinny jeans made her small, girlish figure more dominant than anything. The cut up tank top hugged her body as well.

I nodded. "You look flawless!" I answered, giggling a bit. I took the last bite of the chocolate chip cookie Tinika had given me. It was the only way she had gotten me to come to the mall with her. We usually have this big party with all of the bands after the first shows, but I wasn't very excited this time around. I was just tired. My stomach hurt, and my head ached slightly as well. Drinking so much was the only explanation.

Tinika walked back into the dressing room, and switched out her new outfit for the one she was wearing before we came here. "Your turn!" She exclaimed, grabbing my wrist, and tugging me towards the clothes.

I laughed, and began searching through the clothes with her. I was still in my pajamas from last night, and my hair was in a messy bun on top of my head. I looked horrendous, but I agreed to come out in public with Tinika. Anything for my best friend.

After a while of deciding what to get for myself, Tinika and I finally decided on a pair of tight, white skinny jeans, a sea green, sequined tank top, and a pair of charcoal black Converse, to correspond the the fabric under the sequins on my top.

Once we were done shopping, It was time to go back to the venue to party, drink, and have fun.

"Are you going to drink?" Tinika asked, as we wandered into the crowd of people.

I nodded. "Best thing for a hangover is tequila, right?"

She chuckled, and we were greeted by Jack, Jesse, and Gabe.

"Hey," I smiled broadly, my hangover forgotten. I was determined to have fun. Fuck everything else.

"Where's everyone?" Tinika asked.

Jack shrugged. "Somewhere, I supposed." He answered.

"No shit." I said, sarcastically. I smiled. "I'm going to go find Pierce." I said, before walking off into the crowd of familiar people,

The crowd wasn't huge, but it was large enough to get lost for a moment or two. After a while, I finally found Jaime, and Mike.

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"Jesus christ!" I yelled, practically carrying Tinika to the OM&M bus.

She laughed even louder and, after what felt like a lifetime, the bus finally came into view.

"Couldn't you've gone with the original plan, and stayed with us? Jack could've helped me carry you!" I groaned, lengthening my strides.

She giggled. "You're not carrying me! Im carrying you!" She yelled.

"Are you high? I know your drunk, but-?" I cut off mid sentence. "Oh my god you are!" I exclaimed, hitting her arm, which she took no notice to.

She shushed me, "Don't tell!"

I shook my head and laughed. I kicked the door of the bus, hoping someone would open it quickly. Carrying someone that weighed as much as you isn't very easy.

"Cora's her-!"

"Tino, get your ass out here and help me!" I demanded.

He laughed loudly, but still helped Tinika get to her to the sofa. At some point during this, Austin helped us too. A drunk Tinika wasn't very cooperative.

I sat next to Phil. "I'm...dying.." I panted, laying my head on his shoulder.

He laughed. "You didn't eat anything tonight, did you." He stated.

I shook my head, and stood up quickly.

"Where're you going?" Alan asked.

"Worsnop's got fast food!" I yelled, running back outside, and over to the tent covering only half the people it was before.

I knew he had been planning to leave soon, but I was crossing my fingers in hope that he hadn't yet.

"Danny!" I called across the crowd of people, once I saw him.

He stared at me, and smiled. "Coraline!" He called back, his arms open for a hug.

I gladly hugged him. "I'm hungry, do you still have any food?" I asked.

"Yeah, but do you not see the table of free food next to you?" He laughed, motioning to the two connect tables supporting trays of food.

"Yes, but it's disgusting." I replied, shaking my head at the thought if it.

"Your so picky," he stated, laughing, and handing me the small container of fries he had in his hand.

I thanked him. "Danny, I love you. You come in handy." I smiled.

"Only when you want something." He teased.

A sudden pain in my chest erupted. I shook my head. "Danny, I'm so sorry. You know I love you. You're like my brother." Tears threatened to spill from my eyes.

He laughed, and cupped my face in his hands, "I know! Don't cry, I was only kidding, love!"

I turned scarlet, but was thankful that he couldn't see, due to the darkness.

I smiled. "I know, I'm sorry. I've been a little out of it lately." I chuckled. "Thank you though. Really,"

He nodded, and turned me around, hitting my ass. "Go get some sleep, then." He ordered, laughing at bit, and going back to talking with his friends.

I made my way back to the bus, no longer hungry. I couldn't help but feel like I was annoying everyone. I always did. I was never entertaining. I was never good enough. I was never like everyone else. I wanted to be, though. I wanted to be taller. I wanted to have talent. I wanted to have beauty. But most of all, I wanted to have someone love me back. I wanted to have each of my flaws, and I wanted someone to love me for them.

"We're you crying? Cora, what's wrong?" Austin asked, grabbing my wrist gently.

I shook my head, and wiped my eyes. "It's nothing, really. I'm fine." I stated.

He sighed, and let go of my wrist. "Are you sure?" He asked.

I nodded. "Can we watch Alice In Wonderland?" I asked.

He laughed, but nodded. We watched a few films, as everyone began to go to bed. A few hours later, it was only Austin and I, along with the passed out Tinika on the sofa.

"I'm not stupid, y'know." He said, jerking me away from the current film.

"What're you talking about?" I asked, curious.

"Something's up." He said, moving closer, so he was sitting right next to me.

"No, everything's fine."

"Liar."

"I'm not lying."

"Tell me the truth."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Do it, or I'll go to Kellin."

"Fine."

I sighed in defeat, and leaned against Tinika's limp legs. I didn't want to tell Austin how I felt. I didn't want to tell anyone how I felt. I didn't want to admit to myself how I felt.

"Well," I began. "It's obvious that Vic and I are closer than...friends. But it's more than that. For me, at least.

"When we had that..fight..yeah, I guess you could call it that. Anyways, when we did, it was because I was way too cocky that day and asked him if he felt like I did. Like...more...than just friends." I was doing a very crappy job at explaining things, but I hoped that Austin could understand. He usually did.

"He didn't take me seriously, and when I apologized, I pushed it away, the feelings, and the thoughts. But I'm not an idiot. Those feelings are still there. They won't go away. They're there for good.

"I hate to admit it, but I love him. I really do. But he doesn't love me back. And it's tearing me apart." Tears welled in my eyes, but I quickly looked away, hoping that he wouldn't notice.

"Every little thing," I said. "Everything he does kills me a little more inside. I'm self conscience about everything now. About my appearance, my words, my actions. Everything." I shook my head in disapproval at myself.

Austin grabbed my face gently in his hands. "Hey," he wiped my tears away with his thumbs. "It'll be okay, I promise. Don't let him get to you like that." He smiled apologetically. "Tomorrow, you're going to have fun. Not with Vic.With the girl that's been there with you through everything. Yeah, she'll have a hangover, but she knows your worth it." He smiled broadly, and removed his hands from my face. "By the time you get home, you'll both be dunk anyways. She won't remember her hangover." He chuckled softly. "Get to bed. You can have my bunk." He said.

I stared at him, confused. "Where are you going to sleep?" I asked, standing up.

"Here." He said, lying his head on Tinika's stomach.

I smiled, and thanked him, before making my way into the bunk area.