Never Going Back Again

"Shouldn't you be getting ready for your classes?" Valencia's mother asked as she stepped into her room. Valencia was just sitting on her bed, still in the clothes she wore the day before. She had fallen asleep on her bed the night before just thinking about Joe's visit. She just woke up with the same dilemma. It was still pretty early. Her brother wasn't even awake yet for school.

"I'm not going today," she sighed as she ran a hand down her face.

"Why not?" Her mother asked as she came to sit next to her. "You feeling okay?" Valencia shook her head and brought her hands up to her face to hide her perplexity and tears. "Should I not let those boys sit outside yesterday?" You should've called the cops, Valencia thought. "They seemed nice enough, I-"

"No, Ma, it's fine," Valencia cried.

"You want me to get you something?" She asked. Valencia shook her head again. She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes.

"No thank you," she said. "I have to get ready." She looked at her mom who's forehead was wrinkled with concern. "I'm going to go see Adalae. She's in the hospital. Joe came by to tell me."

"What happened to her?"

Valencia shook her head. "It's nothing, she'll be fine. It's just nobody has been able to see her, so, I have to go. I'm all caught up on work, so I should be able to miss one day." Valencia’s mother nodded.

"All right," she said. "If you need anything hija, let me know all right?" Valencia nodded and her mother gave her a kiss on her forehead before she got up and left the room.


"You're the last person I thought I would see here," Adalae said from her bed. She was sitting up, her matted blond hair was sprawled across the pillow. She looked a mess, worse than the last time Valencia had seen her. She sat there, almost smiling, with her arms folded across her chest, while Valencia stood in the corner looking awkward. "You didn't want to come though," Adalae said. "Who put a gun to your head to make you drive all the way up here to see me?" Her tone took on an angry edge as she said it.

"No one," Valencia said as she shook her head. "Joe told me you were up here, and asked me to come see you."
"He did?" Adalae asked with a small smile. She turned her head, almost embarrassed and looked across the room out the window. "He was always the better of the two." Adalae looked back at Valencia, her smile now gone. "Did he tell you anything else?" She asked. Valencia shook her head.

"He just wanted me to see you because he couldn't," Valencia said as she took a step forward. "Billy wouldn't let him see you." Adalae looked away again.

"Well," she sighed. "Thank you for stopping by. If you see Joe again tell him I said thanks." Valencia stopped by the bed and just looked at her. "You can go now."

"Who do you think you are, Adalae?" Valencia asked. "I didn't want to come here, but now that I am, I not leaving until I feel like it."

"This is awkward enough Val," she said. "I don't want you here and you don't want to be here so, leave. I don't want to give you another reason to hate me. What went down with you and Billy-"

"Don't fucking talk about it," Valencia sighed. "I don't hate you for that, I'm beyond pissed, but I don't hate you. It wasn't just your fault." Adalae still wasn't looking at her, she didn't even look like she was listening. "What the fuck are you doing here Adalae?" Valencia asked. "How did you end up like this? I've never seen you this way before. You seemed fine before Billy and I..." Valencia couldn't help but notice Adalae's expression. She almost looked hurt. "Was all this because of me and Billy?"

Adalae let out this dry laugh as she looked at Valencia. "Oh please Val," she said. "Don't flatter yourself. I was upset when you took Billy from me, but that had nothing to do with this."

"I didn't take-"

"You did Val," Adalae said harshly. "Whether you believe it or not, you did. He and Joe were everything to me, and you took them." Now it was Valencia's turn to look away. "And I told you," Adalae sighed. "I told you to not mess with him because he was nothing but trouble. I told you he would push you off track. He worse than that shit that's got me in here."

"He wasn't like that all the time Adalae," she said.

"Did you love him?" Adalae asked. Valencia shrugged. Adalae shook her head. "Whenever I ask you a simple question about Billy you can never give me a straight answer," she said. "Did you love him, Val?" Her tone grew harsh again. Valencia just kind of looked at her. "Ask me if I did," she said. "I'll give you a straight answer."

"I did," Valencia said. "I just... I just hate him right now. I hate him for what he did, for telling you everything, and keeping shit from me."

"Billy didn't tell me anything," Adalae said. "We still sort of fooled around, but it was when you weren’t together. Other than that, he hardly spoke to me."

"What?" Valencia asked. "Who told..." Before Valencia even finished her sentence she knew. "Joe," she said shaking her head. He practically told her yesterday. He couldn't go see her because he was the one who fucked up and told. Billy wasn't having it.

"Joe," Adalae nodded.

"Damn," Valencia sighed. "Joe?" She couldn't even get upset if she wanted to. It was just something about Joe... maybe the fact that he was human. He wasn't like the other Darley's, though he tried to be. The fact that he was just an adoring kid trying to be like his big, stupid brother. Valencia couldn't be angry with him. "Why did Joe tell you?" She asked as she looked at Adalae. A bright red color started to creep into Adalae pale cheeks.
"Joe..." she sighed. "Joe and... I, we were, kind of..." She stammered. Valencia groaned as she shook her head. This group of people were so screwed up it wasn't even funny.

"You were sleeping with Joe?" She asked almost laughing. Adalae just kind of shrugged. "Jesus Adalae," she said. "You messing around with Bones too?"

"Val," she said as she brought her hands up to her face. "Dammit, no." Valencia couldn't help her laughter now. "Joe is, so different. Joe is no Billy. He would actually talk to me and not just talk at me. And despite the fact that he's a Darley, he's so sweet. Like having you come here because he couldn't."

"Billy know about you two?"

Adalae shrugged. "If he didn't, he sure as hell knows now. That's probably why he won't let him come up here."

"Jeez Adalae," Valencia said. "I can't believe it. You and Joe." She shook her head and began to lean against Adalae's bed. "Shits changed, huh?"

"I guess," Adalae said.

"I hate it."

"Me too," Adalae said. "I hate this place, I hate being by myself, and not being able to see Joe."

"Do you love Joe?" Valencia asked. Adalae nodded.

"Not the way you think though," Adalae said. "Not the way you love Billy."

"I'll try to get him up here for you," Valencia said. "I'll stop by the bar and see if he's there." Adalae's eyes nearly popped out of her head.

"Billy would kill you," Adalae said. Valencia shook her head with a cocky smirk.

"He wouldn't dare," she said.

"He wouldn't?" Adalae asked.

"Not unless he wanted the authorities to know about how he made his money."

"Damn," Adalae said as she shook her head. "I wouldn't even go that far." Valencia just shrugged as she headed for the door.

"I would."

"Val," Adalae said just when she was about to leave. "I just..." she sighed. "I'm sorry about everything that happened-"

"Don't," Valencia said. "Thank you, but don't."

"But I-"

"Seriously," Valencia said. "Don't." This time she made it out the door without any more interruptions from Adalae.


Valencia rushed back to her mother's house to look for a new outfit to wear for when she saw Billy. She wanted to wear something that he would admire so he wouldn't hurt her too badly. She really didn't have a spectacular wardrobe, so she figured if her outfit wasn't a ten, her make up would have to be. "You're an idiot," she sighed to herself. She was terrified of Billy, right now she hated Billy, and yet he still had this incredible hold over her. Here she was, going through her closet to try and find the most appealing outfit. She wanted Billy to see her and hate himself for fucking up like he did. She wanted him to feel as bad as she did. When Valencia was done, she gave herself one last glance in the mirror before skipping out her room. "See you later Ma," she called out as she passed her mother's closed bedroom door. She was skipping and jolly now, but she wouldn't be in a few minutes. She always seemed to have this odd confidence whenever she planned to see Billy. It would be completely gone by the time she got to the Four Roses.


"God you're an idiot," she sighed again. She stayed idle in the car outside of the bar. She could see Heco leaning against the wall. She had been sitting there for so long, she counted four cigarettes that he had smoked. Every now and then he would glance over at her car and let his eyes linger. He knew it was her. That was another reason why Valencia was afraid to get out of the car. He might shoot her if she stepped out. She had to get out though. She wasn't doing anything in her car but wasting time. With a deep breath, she opened the car door and got out. As soon as she closed the door she began shaking. She could see Heco smirking from where he was standing. He shook his head as he blew out some smoke.

"I thought that was you," he said. Valencia didn't say anything. She was too scared. "What're you doing here?"

"Looking for Joe," she choked out. "He in there?" Heco nodded. "With Billy?" He nodded again.

"You shouldn't be here," he said. "Billy would lose it if he saw you."

"I know," she nodded as she looked at her feet.

"Which is what you want," Heco smirked. Valencia looked up at him. "If you didn't you wouldn't have gotten all done up."

"Is it too much?" Valencia asked. Heco shook his head.

"Hell no."

"Can you go in and get Joe for me?" She asked. Heco's smirk disappeared.

"I'm not allowed in," he said. This time he was the one to look down. "I can only stand outside."

"Billy got you out here?" She asked. Heco nodded.

"Yea," Heco said. "He's been giving everyone a lot of shit lately."

"Why?" Valencia asked. Heco looked up at her. Valencia blushed and looked down again. "Sorry." Heco shook his head.

"It's not entirely your fault," he said. He pushed himself off the wall after a while and tossed his cigarette on the ground. "I guess I could try and get Joe out here." Valencia brightened up a bit. "Hopefully Billy would be too pissed at you to realize that I went inside," he said as he walked inside the bar. Valencia's face fell as the doors shut. He was probably right.

Heco walked inside and saw everyone at the table that they usually shared. Billy didn't notice him at first, it was Joe. His heart jumped in his chest like it was himself walking in the bar. He knew that Billy would go ballistic if he saw Heco in here. Everybody has been getting the shitty end of the stick lately but Heco got it the worst. He had an addiction he couldn't control and he sold what he couldn't stay away from. Nobody ever had sympathy for Heco until Valencia and Billy started hating each other. Billy would just attack him. Now Joe was fearing for poor Heco again. He knew he couldn't come in here.

What the fuck? Joe mouthed. His eyes went wide when Heco mouthed Val. Joe became stiff and he skin turned pale. Now he feared for himself. "Fuck," he said quietly.

"What?" Billy asked as he turned to look at him. He followed Joe's gaze and saw Heco standing by the bar. "What the fuck did I say?" Billy yelled as he stood up. Everyone at the table flinched. "I told you to keep your ass outside."

"I know Billy, but-" Heco stammered.

"Billy just chill man," Joe said. "He just-"

"You don't fucking listen Heco!" He was livid.

"But Billy, your girl is outside," he said then immediately felt like he messed up by saying it.

"What?" Billy asked. "What did you say?"

"Val-" Heco stopped when he heard the door open. Everyone looked behind him. He turned around and saw Val standing there looking as terrified as he was.

"Can I talk to you Joe?" She asked. She looked at Joe's pale face before looking at Billy's irate expression. Billy looked down at Joe. He already knew what was up.

Adalae.

"Hell no you can't talk to him!" Billy said as he began walking towards her. He brushed past Heco like he wasn't there and grabbed Valencia by her arm. "You've got a lot of nerve coming here," he said as he dragged her out of the bar. "You have the fucking nerve to threaten me, tell me to stay away from you, but you come up here and want to talk to Joe?"

"That's right," she said. "I need to talk to Joe. I need to tell him something."

"He could care less about anything that junkie had to say," Billy said. Valencia was a little taken back. She didn't think that he knew Joe had come to see her and had told her about Adalae.

"Joe needs to go see her."

"No he doesn't," Billy said.

"You do too," Valencia said. "Even I went to see her. She's got nobody Billy.”

"And whose fault is that?" Billy asked smirking. "I wasn't allowed to talk to her," he sort of laughed.

"Which didn't stop you from sleeping with her, and I'm not to blame for her having nobody Billy," Valencia said. "Did you forget how her brother died?" Valencia knew she was crossing a line when she said that, but when Billy was like this, you had to be as aggressive as he was. "Now," she said. "Let me talk to Joe."

"I already told you, you're not saying shit to him."

"You're so cruel Billy," she sighed. "Just because you're miserable doesn't mean you have to make everyone else feel as shitty as you. I'm still pretty pissed off about everything that happened with Adalae, but I went to go see her. If you don't go... that's fine, but don't keep Joe from seeing her." Billy didn't say anything. He just looked at her, still fuming. "She told me that you didn't tell her anything... about us."

"I told you I didn't," he said as he folded his arms across his chest. Valencia looked up at him.

"And why would I believe you, Billy?" Valencia muttered.

He didn't look as mad as he was a few seconds ago, but he didn't look happy. "She tell you who did?" He asked. Valencia nodded. Billy shook his head. "So you came here to talk to Joe, even though he's been the one running his damn mouth?" Now he looked mad again. "You want to talk to him even though he fucked things up, but you come here and you give me shit?" Valencia looked at Billy with an odd expression.

"Billy," she said. His expression was hard, he was still upset, but something was off. He didn't have the cold glare that all the Darley's seem to wear so well. "Billy," she said again. He was pissed that she wasn't mad at Joe, but at him. His feelings were hurt. It was so odd to Valencia when Billy would actually act human. To actually show emotion. It was scary and oddly attractive. Valencia found herself just staring at him. He still had his arms folded across his massive chest. He was towering over her, looking right at her. Valencia just stared at him. She couldn't help the awed look on her face. She looked at the scars on his face, the tattoos that were creeping up from under his shirt, and the fading bruises on his knuckles. The only thing that came to mind, the only thing that she could think about, was how handsome he looked. "Billy," she said. Billy let out this long sigh when she said his name again.

"What?" He asked. Valencia took a step back and dropped her arms at her side.

"How do I look?" She asked. The scowl on Billy's face seemed to disappear completely as he actually looked at her. "I tried to look nice for you. I know I didn't do much to this," she said as she tugged on the ends of her hair. "But... I tried." She let out a defeated sigh and looked down at her feet. "So," she said. "How do I-" She stopped talking when Billy began stepping closer to her. She felt his arms wrap around her waist. She let his warm body totally engulf her own. She didn't realize how cold she was until he put his arms around her. Billy lifted her off of the ground and Valencia felt herself melting into him. She ran her hands up his arms before wrapping her own around his neck.

"You're fucking crazy, Val," Billy said. Valencia put her face into his shoulder and breathed him in. He smelled the same. Like that damn bar. Alcohol and smoke. The more she breathed it in, the more she realized how much she loved it, how much she missed it. Valencia tilted her head to the side and brushed her lips against his.

"I miss you Billy," she sighed just before softly kissing him on the lips. "More than I should." She stared at him. Right into his eyes. She brought one hand up and traced his bottom lip with her finger. He just stared back at her-through his long lashes. "Kiss me," she said, but it came out more like a question. Billy waited a short while before tilting his head forward and capturing her lips with his own. Valencia held onto to him as tightly as she could. Her whole body was straining to keep him close. She closed her eyes and didn't open them until she felt the cold wall of the bar against her back. She wrapped her legs around Billy's waist as she kissed him. Both of them were taking deep, heavy breaths through their noses as they let their hands get reacquainted with each other's bodies. Low sighs, gasps, and moans escaped their lips as if they were by themselves. As if they weren't pressed against each other in front of a bar in broad day light. Billy's hands were making their way under her shirt when the entrance to the bar flew open. Valencia fell to her feet and immediately let go of Billy. She practically pushed him away. Billy looked down at her before he looked over at the intruder.

"Heco?" He said in amazement. "Get your ass back in that bar." Heco looked from Billy to Val. She was readjusting her clothes. Her face a bright red color.

"I thought I wasn't allowed inside?" Heco asked with a shocked look on his face.

"Get back in the bar," Billy said through clenched teeth.

"Are you sure? I don't want to-" Val could see that Billy was about to lose it completely.

"Heco, get back in the fucking bar," she said. Billy and Heco both looked at her.

"All right," Heco nodded slowly. Her turned around and walked back inside the bar. Valencia heard loud cheers as he walked back inside.

"Lucky bastard!" She heard someone say. Now, she and Billy were both staring at each other. They knew the moment was gone and knew it probably wouldn't be coming back.

"Can I talk to Joe now?" Valencia asked. That small sentence was enough to put Billy back into his frenzy. His eyes were wild with that Darley anger, and not with lust like it was a few moments before.

"You get five fucking minutes," he hissed in her face. He quickly walked in the bar and before Valencia could even catch her breath, Billy was back outside, dragging Joe with him. "Four and a half," he said. He leaned against the wall as Joe approached Valencia.

"What's up Val?" He asked as he looked back at Billy.

"Adalae wants to see you," Valencia said. "She needs to see you."

"Seriously?" Joe almost laughed. "I asked you to have a heart and you gained a dozen?" Valencia just shrugged.

"We talked," was all she said.

"You know I can't go, Val," he said softly.

"Yes you can," Valencia said louder than she needed to. Joe just looked at her. "You can go," Valencia looked over his shoulder at Billy. "As many times as you want. Whenever you want." Billy huffed.

"A minute and a half."

"Bullshit," Valencia said. Billy raised his eye brows.

"Thirty seconds." Valencia shook her head as she looked at Joe.

"It's all right for you to go," she said. "Just make sure you do, okay. She really needs you Joe." Joe nodded. "Gimme your number," she said as she pulled out her phone. "So I can make sure you've gone." Joe took her phone and programmed his number in it.

"Thanks Val," he said. Valencia just shrugged and Joe hugged her.

"Times up," Billy said as he stalked behind Joe and grabbed him by his arm. He pulled Joe back into the bar and looked back at Valencia. "Happy?" He asked. Valencia shrugged.

"Not really," she said. "You happy, Billy?" Billy got a confused look on his face. He kind of bit down on his lip and he shook his head.

"You're a trip Val," he said. He folded his arms across his chest, in that guarded stance again.

"Let Joe see Adalae," she said. Billy shook his head again and looked in the opposite direction.

"Get the fuck out of here," he said dismissively. Valencia didn't say anything else as she turned around and walked away. By the time she got to her car, Billy was no where in sight. She started it up, and as soon she was out of sight of the bar, she began bawling like a child. Whatever she and Billy had was so fucking weird, and even after this long separation, it was taking it's toll on her. Now all she wanted to do was get home and lie down. She wanted to sleep all night and maybe a little bit of tomorrow. She just wanted the day to be over. She wanted to see what tomorrow had in store for her.


When she got home, she was surprised to find Armondo sitting in front of the television with his pajamas on. He was sitting with his legs beneath him and had a bowl of cereal out in front of him. It shocked Valencia to see him in his pajamas so early. Usually you had to fight him to get ready for bed. It was only three o'clock. "Ready for bed this early, Armondo?" Valencia asked with a small smirk as she set her keys down on the kitchen counter. Armondo shook his head as she continued to the the screen.

"No," he said. "I just woke up." Valencia turned to look at him.

"Just woke up?" She asked. He nodded.

"Mommy forgot to get me ready for school," he said. "She's still sleeping in her room."

"She's still sleeping?" Valencia asked.

"Yeah," Armondo nodded. "I just went in there. She's still sleeping." For some reason, that didn't sit right with Valencia. She set down her bag next to her keys and made her way to her mother's room.

"Ma," she said as she knocked on the door. All she heard was the sounds of the cartoon Armondo was watching.

"She's sleeping Val," Armondo said. "I told you." Valencia opened the door to her mother's room and stepped inside.

"Ma," she said softly. She walked over to the bed and knelt down in front of it. "You forgot to get Armondo up," she said. Valencia knew that she was just wasting her time. Before she even got another breath out, tears came rolling down her cheeks. She could tell as soon as she walked in that the room was vacant. All that was there was herself, and her mother's lifeless body. "Oh Ma," she sighed. She reached out to touch her, but immediately pulled her hand back. She turned around and rested against the bed as she caught her breath. This can't even be possible, she thought to herself. She was just talking to her mom that morning. There's no way that she could be... gone. She was just talking to her. "Oh God," she sobbed. Her hands went to her chest as she tried to catch her breath. She felt like she was going to pass out. "Oh God!" She said again.
"Val," Armondo said from the doorway. Valencia looked over at him and felt her heart break. Poor Armondo. How was she going to explain this to him?

"Get out," she said between heavy breaths. "Go in the living room and stay there." Armondo did as she said. Valencia somehow managed to get up. She practically ran out the room and slammed the door shut. "Oh God," she repeated. She was shaking now. Her whole body. She didn't know how she managed to still be standing. She walked over to Armondo who was standing against the door, as far away from his mother's room as he could be.

"Val," he whimpered. Valencia looked at him and broke down. She pulled him into her arms and cried.

"What's wrong?" He asked. She could already hear the pain in his tiny voice. "What's wrong with mom?" Now they were both shaking from their sobs. She didn't need to tell him. Her cries told him all he needed to know.


Armondo had his arms around Valencia and his head on her chest. His eyes closed, and even while sleeping, he looked hurt. Valencia was sitting on her mother's sofa with her head resting on Joe's shoulder as he held onto her and her little brother. There were two cops, a detective, and the coroner walking around her mother's home. The body was already in the coroner's van, but everyone was still scurrying around like chickens with their heads cut off. "It's just the procedure," one of the cops said. "I know this is a hard time for you. We'll be out of your hair in a minute." He gave her a small smile, which she didn't return. Valencia wondered if he was smiling because he called a detective over after seeing the Darley boys sitting in her living room.

Now there was a detective here she wanted to know why she called Joe before the police. She wanted to know how Valencia even knew the Darleys. Wanted to know if she had any incriminating things on them. I've got shit you wouldn't believe, she thought. When Valencia refused to acknowledge her, she sat down an official looking card on her mother's coffee table, and left. Detective Wallis. Like I'd be giving you a call anytime soon. "Bitch," Joe said as he shook his head. He wrapped his arm around Valencia tighter and kissed her on her forehead.

"You guys done yet?" Bodie asked the cops from the doorway. "She's got shit to take care of and you guys aren't really doing anything but standing around and talking to yourselves." Valencia put her face in Joe's neck and began to cry again. He wrapped his other arm around her, now she was practically in his lap, sobbing quietly. "Her mother just passed, leave her be." The cops ignored Bodie, but left shortly after. Bodie walked over to Valencia and offered to take her brother to his room.

"Take him to mine," she choked out. "Last door on the right." Bodie nodded as he picked up her brother and began walking back towards the room.
"I've got to go soon Val," Joe said as he pulled away from her. He wiped her tears away and looked behind him. Billy was sitting in one of the dining room chairs. His trench coat draped over the back of it. He sat there with his elbows digging into his knees, staring at Valencia. "I've got stuff to take care of tonight, all right?" Valencia nodded.

"I don't want to be alone, Joe," she said. Just then Bodie walked back into the room. He looked just as tired as she did.

"You won't be," Joe said. "Billy's going to stay here with you." Valencia looked behind him, at Billy's vacant stare and nodded.

"You ready?" Bodie asked Joe. He nodded. Joe hugged Valencia once more and kissed her on her cheek.

"I'm so sorry Val," he sighed. Valencia hugged him back but said nothing. He stood up and Bodie took his place in her arms.

"Everything is going to be all right Val," he said in a soothing voice. If he wasn't standing right in front of her, Valencia would've never believed it was him. "We're gonna take care of everything." He kissed her forehead before joining Joe by Billy. The talked amongst themselves for a short while before Joe and Bodie left. Then it was just Billy and Valencia.

"Val," he said as he made his way towards her. That angry edge that was in his voice earlier was gone, but there was nothing soft and soothing about it like with Joe and Bodie. He sat down next to her and looked directly into her blood shot eyes. "Tell me what to do." Valencia looked at him for a long moment before her eyes began to spill over with tears.

"Just hold me Billy," she whimpered. Billy pulled her into his lap and held onto her as tight as he could. He knew exactly what she was going through, and he was feeling every little bit of her pain. She clung onto him as she cried. All she could think about was her brother. How hard it was going to be for them without their mother. They depended on her for so much. Now they were alone. She was a child who was going to have to raise a child all on her own. "Jesus Billy," she sobbed as she held onto him tighter. "Don't let me go."