Never Going Back Again

Everybody looked a lot scarier inside the bar. All the men that sat around the table with Valencia didn't look so feeble anymore. They all sat there with their menacing stares, drinking, and smoking. They looked fucking intimidating and they weren't even trying. “Want a drink?” One of them asked her. Valencia shook her head. She looked over at Billy, for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. He was leaning against the bar with his back towards her. He and Joe were deep in conversation. She would glance over at him every now and then, willing him to come back to the table and sit next to her. Sometimes he would look over at her just to make sure no one was messing with her.

“You the girl from the party?” Another one asked her. She nodded.

“Hey,” Valencia looked up to see that Bodie was talking to her. “Those bags were pretty warm,” he smiled devilishly. Valencia blushed as her eyes frantically moved to Billy's back, before settling back on the devious grin on Bodie's face. “Where were you hiding it?” This place made her nervous. Maybe she should have went back to Adalae's.

She was just about look back over at Billy when she felt him sit down in the seat next to her. “They givin' you any shit?” He asked her.

“Of course we're not,” Bodie said. His grin still lingering on his face. “We're just trying to get a feel for her.” Valencia could've sworn one of them licked their lips. She cringed as she turned to face Billy.

“Take me home,” she whispered to him. “Please.” She grabbed a hold of the sleeve of his jacket.

“Calm down Val,” he said. There he goes again. Throwing her name out there, oblivious to what it did to her. He leaned over closer to her, letting his lips graze against her ear. “Don't let them scare you. They're harmless,” he whispered. Valencia was pretty sure that he felt her shiver next to him. His breath was cool as it danced down her neck. She couldn't keep her mind from going to the naughtiest of places when she let another shiver take control of her body. “Besides,” Billy said. He put his arm on the back of her chair and let his thumb glide up and down her shoulder. He then pulled himself closer to her, feeling another tremor roll through her body. “If you leave now, you're going to miss out on all the fun we're having tonight.” Hell no he's not taken! “Stay?” He asked looking into her eyes. They were so close to each other, their noses were almost touching. Valencia could feel the heat coming off of him, she could smells his breath. She couldn't say no to him if she wanted to. So, with a long sigh, she nodded. Billy dropped his arm and pushed himself away from her without so much as a glance in her direction. “Get her a drink,” he said called out.

“No, I don't want-”

“She doesn't want anything to drink,” Bodie said before she could even finish. “We already asked her.”

“You gotta have a drink,” Spink said.

Valencia looked down and shook her head. “No thank you.”

“You want a hit?” Valencia looked up at the guy sitting across from her. He held a joint in his hand and he was holding it in her direction.

“I don't smoke,” she said.

“What do you do?” This came from Billy. He still wasn't looking at her and it looked like he added a few more inches between them. Valencia felt everyone's eyes on her. The bright pair of eyes Valencia wanted on her, were too busy looking off across the room. “Just have a drink,” he said still not looking at her. He looked at the guy at the end of the table and motioned for him to the bottle of Jack Daniels that was in front of him. Valencia took a deep breath. God, I should have gone home when I had the chance. Someone had set down a shot glass in front of her and before she knew it, Billy was pouring the dark liquid into the tiny glass. “It's just one shot. It won't hurt you.” And now he was looking at her. His intense stare shone through his long lashes.

At that moment Valencia would've done anything he'd ask her to. He could ask her to jump and she'd say, “How high?”

“How high, what?” Billy asked. Valencia looked around at the men with wide eyes as her face began to grow hot and red.

“Nothing,” she said. Now she felt more than willing to take that drink. She picked up the small glass and tossed the liquid to the back of her throat. She closed her eyes and grimaced as she set the glass down with more force than needed. All the she could hear was the deafening echo of the noise it made. “Happy?” She asked. She opened her eyes and looked up at him. He had that grin on his face. The one that felt like a gift for just her.

“I'd be happy if you had one more,” he said. He filled the glass again and waited. Valencia looked around the table before letting her eyes settle on his gorgeous face. “We're celebrating,” he reminded her.

“Yeah,” Bodie said. He pushed his glass—which was a lot taller and filled to the rim—towards her. “Have this. It's much better.” Peer pressure, she thought as she rolled her eyes. Billy let out a small chuckle as if he heard what she was thinking.

“What is it?” She asked. Bodie looked over at Billy, and Billy looked down at Valencia.

“Have a taste and find out.” He said to her. She sighed as she picked up her shot glass. She threw it back quickly and closed her eyes again, feeling the sting of the alcohol as it went down. Then she picked up the taller glass, unsure if she could drink it, or just walk out. Then she thought about Billy and began to second guess herself. If she stayed to drink it, would he talk to her like the way he did before? Would he touch her? She sighed again, a little louder than before. If she walked out, would he follow her, or would he laugh like his friends would? “It'll be good, Val,” Billy said. He moved a little closer to her, like he had earlier. “I promise.” She couldn't help but tremble at the double meaning. She looked around the table, still unsure. She was afraid. Alcohol fucks up your judgment, and these men are way too eager to give it to her.

Valencia looked up at Billy. He was still close to her, and looked more appealing than he did a few seconds ago. “Keep me safe?” She asked him. He moved back a bit when she said it, like she had hit him in his face. His cocky grin was gone and for a split second he looked sympathetic. But the look was gone just as quick as it came. He nodded though, without a hint of arrogance or anything else. You could still leave, she thought. It was too late though. She already had the glass to her lips. Whatever she was drinking was stronger than what she had before. She felt the burn it gave as it went down her chest. Then she felt warm. Like how you get warm when you walk out of the shade and into the sunlight. It felt good, she felt good, and she wasn't so afraid anymore. She didn't feel tense. She sure as hell didn't feel like leaving. She just felt... warm. And as she took another sip, she felt warmer. It was nice. Her whole body was tingling and it felt wonderful.

“Good, right?” Bodie asked. She downed the little bit she had left and set the glass down. “I'll get you another one.” Valencia looked at Billy, surprised by the fact that he was still looking at her. She was even more surprised when she felt herself smile. This high enough for you?


Valencia woke up to the sound of a phone ringing. It sounded like her phone, only louder, and the mind numbing sound echoed around in her head. She rolled over on her back with a groan and tried to open her eyes. No luck. Her eyes lids were too heavy. Her head hurt, badly. It felt like it was splitting in two. And that damn phone! God, it was making everything else much worse.

With her eyes still closed, Valencia reached over on the night stand and felt around for the annoying phone. As soon as her hand touched it, she whisked it up. Her arm couldn't take the weight of it, and it came down on her face. “Fuck,” she groaned. She gave herself a second to recover before answering the phone. “Do you know what time it is?” She asked, not caring about who was on the other end.

“Hija, it's one o'clock.” Her mother's thick Spanish accent sounded even thicker over the phone. “You should be in your classes...”

“Oh, Ma,” she groaned again.

“You didn't come by yesterday, Valencia,” her mother said. “You didn't even call. We were worried.” Valencia could open her eyes now. They stung as the afternoon sunlight hit them. She looked over at her clock to see that it was indeed one o'clock. She had missed her classes. She had also missed a visit to her mother's house yesterday. She had totally forgotten. Since she's been on her own, she's visited her mother everyday. Even if it was just for a few minutes. Now she felt guilty, on top of feeling like shit.

“I'm sorry, Ma. I was really busy with school work. I should've called.”

“Will you be by today?” Valencia couldn't help but think that her mother's accent was mildly irritating right now. All of her words seemed to jumble together, it was hard for her to keep up.

“I'll try,” she said. “I've still got a lot of work to do.” It wasn't a lie, but Valencia knew it wasn't much of the truth either.

“Call me, Hija,” her mother sighed. “If you can't make it here, call me, please.”

“I will, Ma. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

“Love you, Val!” Valencia smiled when she heard her brother's small voice.

“Love you too, Armondo,” she said. “Bye mom.”

“Stay safe, Valencia.” She hung up with a long sigh. She knew this feeling. She had it once before, back in high school. Adalae had managed to get a guy she knew to buy her alcohol. This was a hang over. This was brutal. It was one of the worst feeling she had ever had. Hard to believe that what came before it felt so good.

“That's the last time I drink,” she said. She somehow managed to sit herself up and get out of bed. Looking down she noticed that she was still in her clothes from the day before. She couldn't remember what happened the night before, but some of it was still there. She remembered throwing up, a lot. She remembered how hot it was in that bar, or it could've been the warm feeling the alcohol gave her. She remembered Billy's arm wrapped around her again, his thumb caressing her arm. Then his hand was on her knee, her thigh. And she couldn't forget the sense of euphoria she had, but that probably came from the joint someone convinced her to smoke. Now she wondered how she got home. Everyone was well over inebriated. “Fuck, my car,” Valencia thought. She just began to remember leaving it in front of Adalae's apartment the day before. She was about to call Adalae to see if she could bring it by, when she noticed her car keys sitting on top of her dresser. Valencia walked over to her window and pulled back the curtain. She could see her car parked in the small area for the tenants in her building. She began to feel the hang over a little less now, but it was still there. “I need coffee... and a shower.”


The first thing Valencia felt when she parked in front of Adalae's apartment was disappointment. Billy's car was no where in sight. She thought about pulling out and driving away. Then she would feel horrible. So she got out of her car and slowly walked to Adalae's door. Her knock was barely audible, but somehow Adalae heard it. She opened the door and stepped back slightly. “You need something?” She asked grimly.

“I... just came by to see how you were,” Valencia said. “To see if you were all right?” Her pupils were the size of dimes. Of course she's not all right.

“You sure?” She asked. “You not here lookin' for Billy?” The words stung. Mostly because Valencia knew that's exactly what she was doing here. She wanted to see Billy.

“I-I'm sure,” Valencia said as she put her head down.

“He came by late last night and got your car,” Adalae frowned. “You don't remember? You were there.” This was news to Valencia. She couldn't remember how she got home last night, and she sure as hell didn't remember stopping by here. “You were curled up in the front seat of his car with your arms wrapped around him.” Valencia was silent. She could try and deny it, but what good would it do? “Still don't remember?” Adalae asked. “I fucking remember, but then again I wasn't stoned out of my mind.” Not yet, Valencia wanted to say. She didn't though. Even though she thought it was ironic that she was getting lectured about being stoned from a druggie.

“I don't see what the problem is,” Valencia said. “We hung out yesterday, so what?”

“You do anything else with him?”

“No,” Valencia said.

“You sure? You don't seem to remember much.”

“I'm positive,” she sighed. “We just went to a bar. I was more interested in his friends.” It was a lie

“Really?” Adalae asked. Valencia nodded. Adalae sighed before apologizing. “I just-”

“Don't worry about it,” Valencia said. “You okay?”

“I'm good,” Adalae said. “I'm fine.”

“All right, I'll see you later.”

“Val,” Adalae stopped her before she walked away. “Do you think you could tell me... before you hang out with him again?” She asked. I didn't think I needed your approval.

“Sure,” Valencia lied again. She turned around quickly and got back in her car.


When Valencia finally got home, she decided that she actually would try to do some school work. She e-mailed all her teachers, apologized for her absence, and begged for the work she had missed. She refused to let what happened the night before fuck up what she was so desperately trying to reach. “Shit,” she muttered. She forgot to visit her mom again. She was way too drained to go over there now, so she called her. She apologized for not coming by, again, and told her that she'd promise to be over tomorrow. She didn't even shut the phone off before she heard a knock at her door. “What the fuck now?” She walked to the door with a sigh preparing to inflict a lot of pain on whoever was standing behind it. But when she opened it, she couldn't seem to catch her breath. “Billy?” Valencia practically yelled. “What are you doing here?” She never thought she would see him here. Standing in her doorway with his eyes half lidded and a small, alluring smile on his lips.

“I came to see if you lived through last night,” he said. “It looks like you did... so-”

“Thanks for bringing me home,” Valencia said. “And for, um, getting my car.”

“Don't worry about it.”

“Um, do you think you could, do me a favor?” She asked. Billy shrugged.

“Depends on what it is.” Valencia sighed and put her head down.

“Could you maybe...” Valencia took a deep breath and tried to look at him. “Could you stop selling to Adalae?” Valencia waited for him to answer. He didn't. Not for a few minutes. They just stood there looking at each other. Both a bit surprised by what she said. “It's just...” She stopped again to find the words. “When I went by today, she was pissed at me, for hanging out with you last night,” she said. “I have a feeling that her mood wasn't just brought on by her... jealousy.”

“I don't like giving it to her,” Billy said with a frown on his gorgeous face. “But if I don't, she'll just get it somewhere else.”

“Could you just stop, from now on?” Valencia asked. “Please.” Billy looked down at her, his face softening just a bit.

“Yeah, I can stop,” he said. “She can't.”

“Thanks,” Valencia said. “I hate what it does to her.”

They were silent for another moment before Billy looked down at her neck. He smiled arrogantly before looking back into her eyes. “Sorry about that,” he said. He brought his hand up to her neck and gently grazed it with his fingers. Valencia had to keep herself from sinking onto the floor.

“What?” Valencia asked as she brought her hand up to her neck.

“I got a little carried away. I couldn't help myself,” She quickly walked over to a mirror, looking down at her neck, and nearly screamed. She didn't need to ask what the dark purple mark on her neck was. It had to be the size of a golf ball. Walking back to the door, she wondered how she hadn't noticed it until now.

“You... how... when did... I can't believe you,” she said.

“You didn't mind when I was doing it last night,” he smirked. “As a matter of fact, you told me not to stop.” Valencia tried to picture Billy, with his lips to her neck. A tremor ran through her body.

“I-I don't know what to say.”

“You'll get over it,” Billy said. He leaned down and placed his lips to the spot where he marked her the night before. Valencia could've sworn she'd seen stars swirling around her head. She had to will herself to keep her hands at her side and not resting peacefully on top of his shaven head. “But I hope you don't.”