Finding Forgiveness

I am Just Some Damaged Goods

Evgeni's POV
"No Evgeni, don't make me go, please don't make me go," she tried to climb out of the car, "I don't want to go home."
"Kira, hey look at me, please, just look at me," I knew I couldn't be forceful with her so I just had to be patient. That was what the nurse told me to do, be patient. There wasn't much else I could do.

"Please," I traced her cheek with my hand. She slowly looked up at me, her eyes telling me how terrified she was.
"I don't want to go," her bottom lip quivered.
"We are going to stay with Sid, ok?" she nodded accepting the idea, "it's ok. I am not going to let anything bad happen to you ever again," I pulled her into my chest.

I was surprised when she didn't pull away. Every time I had tried to touch her  the past couple of days she would push me away but holding her in my arms without a fight on her behalf felt like we could maybe begin to move on.

I watched her with one eye as I drove home. She stared out the window humming to the song on the radio watching the people walk passed with smiling faces, kids playing in the park as the sun began to set.

She caught me watching her and I couldn't help but smiled when she eyed me up and down as I tapped my hands on the steering wheel to the beat of the song.

I grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it making her smile, for the first time in what felt like years she actually smiled at me.

To test the waters and see her reaction I kissed her wrist.
"Don't," she began to laugh as rush of red flushed up her cheeks.

For a moment I could look past the cuts and bruises and damaged Kira to see my beautiful girlfriend, the girl I fell in love with as a kid.

Kira's POV
I was so desperate to see my little boy I somehow mustered up enough energy to get out of the car and hobbled through the pain in my side to reach the house.

"Mummy," my little boy smiled from the doorway with Sid behind him.
"Hey baby boy," he ran down the front steps and wrapped his arms around me.
"Out the way bud, let mummy inside first," Evgeni caught my arm before I tripped on the stairs.

"Can I get you anything?" Sid asked as Evgeni helped me over to the couch.
"A glass of water would be nice."

Trying to sit down was painful and I knew once I got down there was no way I would be getting up any time soon. 

"Just let mummy rest for a moment," Evgeni grabbed Misha as he tried to climb into my lap.
"Aww but dad," he whined making me laugh.
"No buts come on," he ushered him upstairs.

"How are you feeling?" Sid handed over a glass of water and sat down next to me.
"I am ok, my ribs are killing me though," I was ok at the moment, so I wasn't lying. 

I felt safe with Sid and Evgeni looking after me and was relieved to be out of the hospital where nurses kept watching my like a hawk. I was getting sick of the broken glass treatment I was getting.

"What you want for dinner?" Evgeni came running back downstairs.
"Anything."

Evgeni's POV
I kept a close eye on her all night, just to be sure. She said she was ok but that's what they always say right?

"Do you want any help?" I asked as she struggled to find some clothes in her bag.
"Can you ask Sid to get me a towel?"

"Is that all?" I handed the towel over as she sat on the edge if the bed in just her underwear. 

I couldn't help but stare at her bruised and battered body. If Alex was here I would kick his ass over and over for what he did to my Kira.

"Yeah thanks," she went to stand up but by the looks of the pain on her face she was going no where on her own.
"Maybe you could help me, maybe wash my hair or something."
"Uhh ok if you want," it was a strictly only if you want basis for anything personal right now.
"Please, I need to shower but I can't do it myself," she begged grabbing onto my arm in pain.

I helped her slip off her bra and then out of her panties taking one foot at a time. If this had have been any other time and circumstance I would be pushing her up against the shower wall but somewhere in the past day or two I had developed some kind of control over myself.

She kept her hand covering her side as we stood in the shower letting the water run over our naked bodies.

I grabbed some shampoo and it smelt just like Sid. Damn what a turn off, come to think of it everything in here smelt like Sid. I guess that was a good thing right now because my senses would not allow me to go any further with that smell. That was the one thing that turned me on the most about Kira, her soap and shampoo. It smelt amazing and always made me want her.

I put my hand around her back to help her stay standing as she tilted her head back to let the water wash all the shampoo from her hair.

At some point her hands found my sides and began drawing little circles. I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from moaning. Why? Why would she do this to me right now?
"Kira," I warned as she continued.
"What?" she smiled up at me with her cheeky side in full view.
"Stop, please," I gulped trying not to let her know how much of an effect she was having on me.
"Fine," she sighed pulling away and getting out of the shower in hurry.

"Kira," I turned the taps off and grabbed my towel from the rack following her out of the bathroom.
"Just don't bother," she headed into the bedroom.
"I didn't mean anything by it," I tried to defend myself.
"I get it, I am damaged goods, nobody wants a girlfriend who has been used," she sat down on the bed.
"Kira that is not it," I sat down next to her, "I just don't want you doing something you aren't ready for," I put my hand on her back.
"No," she pushed my hand away, "I am sick of people treating me like I am broken. If I am not feeling well I will tell you, why don't people understand that?" she buried her face into her hands.
"I am sorry."

I didn't know what to do? I didn't know how to treat her? The nurses emphasised patientance but there wasn't much I could do if she wanted it. I didn't want it because I worried about her, it killed me seeing her hurt , it killed me seeing her cry, I even felt guilty when she cried through Marley and Me. I just hated to see her without a smile on her beautiful face.

She laid in the bed staring at the ceiling. I got that she was upset and sore and didn't want to cuddle, I was ok with that but I didn't expect her to latch onto my hand for the whole night. No matter how I slept, which way I faced, her hand was holding tightly onto mine.

"I love you Kira," I lent over and kissed her forehead as she slept peacefully next to me.