Dedication Takes a Lifetime but Dreams Only Last for a Night

Jacks POV:

"Boys! Wake up! It's 2:30 PM and I need you to babysit May while I run to the store." My mom rudely woke us up.

Alex who looked surprisingly awake, groaned and yawned but got up.

I moaned and said "Mom do we have to?"

"Yes."

"C'mon your sisters adorable!" Alex smiled looking as adorable as May.

Alex was so sweet with May. As weird as it was I could see he'd be a great dad. He played around with May yet was responsible enough to make sure she didn't hurt herself. He was like a little kid with her. It was so cute.

I didn't want to admit it but I was falling in love. Hard. He was funny, hot, sweet, caring, and amazing. But there were a few very serious problems. A) Blake would basically kill us, B) He wouldn't want to be with me, and most importantly he wasn't gay. But I couldn't help but dream. I stared at his lips, those pink, sweet looking lips. I wondered how they'd taste.

Alex noticed I was staring at him again, ducked his head embarrassed and blushed. I found it so cute, the way he blushed whenever I stared at him, red spotting his cheeks.

After my mom came home, Alex asked about the time.

"It's 4:00"

"F-our? As in PM?"

"Yep"

Alex looked absolutely terrified. He was slightly shaking. His expression was so scared and worried. I was getting scared.

"Alex, What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Oh my fucking god. He'll fucking kill me. What do I do!"

He didn't seem to notice I was talking to him. He was too busy muttering under his breath. I was so scared about him.What was going on with him?

"Who will kill you Alex?"

"He won't kill me that'd be kindness. He'll beat my fucking body till I almost die."

"Alex!!" I said shaking his shoulder. He looked dazed, like everything that had just happened was a dream.

"What were you talking about? Who will beat you?"

"Never mind. Forget I said anything! No one will beat me. I'll be fine." He looked like he was talking for his benefit as well as mine. He seemed to be trying to convince himself as he said everything would be fine. I was so worried about him. What wasn't he telling me?

"Alex talk to me!!" I asked desperately.

"There's nothing to say. Lets do something else."

"Okay. As long as you know I'm always here if you want to talk. Wanna play video games?" I would find out eventually. I didn't want to pressure Alex. He'd tell me when he wanted.

"You mean you wanna lose?" Alex teased looking relieved at the change of subject. "Oh you're on!" I'd find out. I didn't know how or when but I would. I could help Alex like he wanted to help me.

Alex POV:

Four. Four. Four. The word kept crashing in my mind. I should have been home almost a day ago. I hadn't called or anything. Most parents might be upset but I knew my dad world probably do what he did last time which was stick my hand in a cup of boiling water or worse.

I still had scars from that time. The pain was excruciating. I remember screaming so loud and my dad punching me. I had never felt such awful pain in my life. I was terrified of my dads response.
He'll fucking kill me. What do I do. He won't kill me. That would be kindness. He'll beat my fucking body till I die.

"Alex! What were you talking about? Who will beat you?" Jack said shaking my shoulder.

I didn't even realize I'd said the last part out loud. He couldn't know. He simply couldn't. Who knows what my dad'll do to me then. I have to keep it a secret. I tried to convince him nothing was wrong, but I could see the look of disbelief in his eyes.

Jack suggested we play video games. I wanted to prolong my returning home and forget the time bomb that was waiting for me there, just to forget about it and enjoy Jacks happy life.

When we played I couldn't help but look at Jacks cute faces. His tongue slipped out and he had a concentrated look in his eyes. It was adorable.

What? I couldn't believe I had just thought that. Contrary to my dads curses I was straight. But Jack was so damn cute with his skunk hair puppy eyes and huge dorky nose that actually fit him. He was funny, sweet, he cared, and he saved me from Blake.

"Ha I won!" He hollered doing a little victory dance.

"I let you win because it's rude to camp at your house and beat your ass." I didn't want to admit that I was so busy staring at him that I wasn't looking at the game.

"Yeah right! You were to busy staring at my hotness! But that's cool. I know it's hard to take your eyes of it." He joked striking a seductive pose.

I suddenly noticed how close his pink sweet looking lips were. I felt myself leaning in. Nooo you're straight my mind yelled but I knew it.

I was gay for Jack Bassam Barakat. I didn't care.

As our lips almost touched his mom entered saying "What do you want for dinn- Oh my!"

"Mom it's nothing. We weren't doing anything. Calm down." Jack said quickly looking horrified.

"You- You're n-ot g-gay are you?"

"Mom no! I'm straight."

"Good. You know what we think about those kind of people." She turned and left us alone, clearly troubled about what she had seen.

"Your Mom doesn't know you're gay?" I asked, feeling confused and slightly disappointed we didn't kiss . "You are gay right?"

"Yes I'm gay and no they don't know. They'd go crazy. They hate 'people like me'" He said sadly. "Are you gay?" He asked.

"I ummm I don't know. I used to think I was straight but ummm..." I trailed of, positive you could literally feel the awkwardness.

"Umm well. Wanna do something?" Said Jack, clearly flustered about my answer or the awkwardness.

״What time is it?" I asked, feeling even more scared than before.

"It's about 8 why? You aren't going to freak like last time right?"

Eight. My dad was probably home and noticing I was gone. He'd go crazy. I'd disappeared for more than 24 hours.

He'd obviously noticed his son, no sorry punching bag was gone. I'd have to head home eventually seeing as I couldn't stay at Jacks forever. I was terrified of my dads reaction.

"Jack I think I need to go home."

I couldn't stay at Jacks forever, a burden on his family. Sooner or later I'd have to go back from Jacks perfect life to my fucked up one.

״Oh okay." He was disappointed but he'd get over it.

The silence during the car was comforting, Jimmy Eat World singing.

He dropped me of saying" Text or call me. See you on Monday." He gave me an infectious smile that I couldn't not return.

"Sure. Thanks. Bye!"

I took a deep breath and opened the door, ready to run in, hoping desperately my dad was sleeping .

"Well look who returned." My dad half sang, already drunk, cornering me.

I saw the crazed look in his eyes and just knew this time it would be worse than usual. I closed my eyes and willed this to be over.

I didn't know if I would live through this.