Dedication Takes a Lifetime but Dreams Only Last for a Night

Jack POV:

He didn't text or call. He said he would. Did I do something wrong?

Maybe he forgot. Yeah I'm the kind of person people forget. I was just fooling myself. There's no way Alex would actually be interested in a friendship or more with me. I'm a worthless idiot. I'll never be good enough for Alex. He's just like Blake.

Emotions and thoughts were flying through my head, not stopping for a second. I needed to get rid of these feelings and thoughts. I wanted to feel numb. I know I promised I wouldn't but I need to cut. I need to get rid of this pain. No could ever love me. I'd be alone forever. Alex hated and ignored me. I hated me.

I went to the bathroom, locked the door, and grabbed my razors, looking at my best friends.

I was feeling excited for the release that would come. I slowly brought the razor closer to my skin, feeling the anticipation.

No I can stop. I can prove to myself that I'm strong. I am better than this. I said I'd stop. I can do this. I wanted to so badly, to cut away all my feelings, to make them disappear. But I promised. Even if it was to Alex who ignored me today, I still promised.

I sighed,lowered the razor, and went to bed.

After a night of barely sleeping, I headed of to school. I wanted to talk to Alex but he kept avoiding me.

In Calculus, one of the only lessons we have together, he ran in late, his entire body curling in as if he wanted to disappear. He was the first to leave.

After lunch when he wasn't there, I'd had enough. I had free period and I knew he had study hall so I went to see him.

"Alex we need to talk." I said having to know why he avoided me.

"No Jack. We don't. Go away."

"I will not! I need to know what's going on. Why are you avoiding me? Why are you fucking with my head? I really wanted to kiss you back at my house. Did you? I can't stop thinking about you. I know you're straight and we can probably never be together. I'll never be good enough for you but please. I think I like you."

I couldn't believe I just admitted that to myself and him.

Alex looked shocked.

"Jack. I umm don't think I'm straight. I think I'm Bi or gay. I wanted to kiss you so bad. I like you too."
He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine.

I caressed his beautiful face as I closed my eyes. He tasted so good. My tongue slithered in, looking for an entrance and our tongues danced together. It was slow beautiful and passionate. I was overjoyed.

We had to let go to catch our breaths. He smiled adorably showing his dimples. I loved his smile.

"What's that?" He held his hand behind his back but now I could see something.

He was wearing an over sized sweatshirt and I saw a cast peaking out.

"Ummm it's nothing."

"How and what is it?" When was he hurt? I was so worried. Was this why he was worried two days ago? Who did that?

He sighed and lifted the sleeve,showing a cast covering his left arm.

"I umm broke my hand."

"When? How? Can you play guitar?" I asked.

"Yesterday and in a month, yes."

"How? Why did you hide it?"

"I didn't want anyone to see it. And I fell."

He was looking on the floor and anywhere but me.

"You fell? When? Why is it all red?"

"Lets not talk about it ."

"No wait. Alex what aren't you telling me? You can tell me anything."

I was hurt and confused by his actions. What was it?

"It's nothing, I told you! Go away!" He said looking angry.

"Tell me please." I begged.

"I already told you. I fell. There's nothing to tell."

I looked at him and I just knew he was lying. I don't know how. I just knew it. Maybe it was his voice or the fact he wasn't looking at me. Alex had a secret he wasn't telling me.

"Alex please tell me. I can help. I understand what you're going through."

"You understand. Yeah right. Just because we kissed doesn't mean I have to tell you my secrets. You wouldn't understand anything. You have perfect parents, a perfect family. Your dad doesn't beat you up every day. He doesn't abuse you. He didn't break your hand after fucking burning it. You don't understand anything." He said breathing heavily.

"Alex I cant believe you went through that. You're so strong. I want to help."

"You can't. My dad will go mental if he knew I'd told you. He'd probably break my other hand."
I was shocked.

"Alex you can't go back there."

"Yeah well. What do you suggest? I don't have anywhere else to go. I don't want to go to a foster home."

"Why don't you move in with me?" I suggested. "We have a guest room and everything. My family loved you."

Alex living with me 24/7. I couldn't believe my luck. I called my dad who after inquiring for a bit said yes, Alex could stay for a while.

Alex was so happy and relieved to leave his house. After school we snuck in the basement at his house and took his few belongings. His His room in the basement was clean full of posters and cds everywhere.

His mom came in.

At first Alex looked worried. Than he said "Mom I'm moving with Jack. I can't stay here and be dads punching bag."

She looked at him speechlessly.

Alex turned around and walked away with that, me closely following.

He was slightly shaking in the car.

"Alex I'm so proud of you. You stood up for your self. Everything will get better now." I said trying to relax him.