Mistakes

January 2013

"Will it hurt?"

"Nah."

"Are you lying?"

"Yep."

"Fucking tosser!" With a swift slap to the shoulder, I asked, "How much does it hurt?"

Jimmy shrugged. "Not much. It feels like you're getting stung by a bee over and over again, but after a while it'll go numb. I fainted when I got my first tat."

HA! Big bad Jimmy Q fainted when he got his first tattoo. I'm going to show him how a real person gets a tattoo and not faint...or throw up. I couldn't stop the laughs that fell from my mouth. That was just priceless. Picturing him fainting while he got it just makes my day. 

"Hey!" He pouted. "Don't laugh! I was only sixteen and beyond fucking nervous."

I leaned over the center console to kiss his cheek. "I'm sorry babe, but it is funny. If it makes you feel any better, I'm nervous too. My hands are sweating I'm that nervous."

"EW! You're hands are sweating?!" He shouted in faux disgust. "Sod off!" I exclaimed with a laugh. 

We pulled up to the black painted building to see a few cars in the parking lot. I hopped out and shut the door, gripping my purse tightly. Now or never, right? Jimmy grasped my hand and pulled me toward the door. As soon as we stepped in there, Callum shouted his greetings. 

"There's the lovebirds!" He shouted. "Come on back! I'm just sketching, so I'm ready for ya."

We both headed to the back. When we got back there I noticed someone laying in a chair with their shirt off, getting tattooed on their chest. I looked closer and instantly knew who it was. I would know those curls anywhere. Harry was in here getting another tattoo of god knows what. 

Before I opened my big mouth, Callum told me to take my bustier off and hold a piece of clothe up to cover my chest. I did that and handed Jimmy my stuff. He took it and smirked, wiggling his eyebrows at me. All I could do was roll my eyes. Men. 

"Alright love, lay down on your left side so I can get this drawn on you," Callum spoke. I did just that and laid in the chair for a good thirty minutes before he told me to go look in the mirror. I almost said surprise me seeing as I had to walk past Harry to get to the mirror, but I didn't. "I like the placement and font. I can't wait to see the finished product," I gushed. 

He chuckled. "Then get your little arse over here and we can get started!" Harry without a doubt knew I was here now. He looked me right in the eyes. And he didn't look away. Those green eyes of his stared straight into my own hazel eyes. 

"You ready?" Callum asked, his tattoo gun ready to go. I hummed my response and focused on the grey wall. 

My tolerance for pain was pretty high. It always had been. I didn't like to complain about hurting. It just got on peoples nerves and I knew better then to do that. When I was in grade four I fell off the jungle gym and broke my foot. It hurt beyond anything else I could ever imagine but I didn't cry and whine about it. I sucked it up, put on my big girl knickers and dealt with the pain until my mum got me into the ER. These needles that were piercing my skin weren't anything. I'd be fine.

"Doin' good, Lo?" Jimmy questioned. I went to nod, but stopped myself, instead saying, "Yeah. Not nearly as bad as what I thought it was going to be."


The after effects of the tattoo weren't as bad as everyone told me. The horror stories they told were ridiculous. Yeah the tattoo burned and itched, but that's it. Jimmy told me mine burnt more because it was on my side and I was moving and bending over. I understood that. But I kept lotion on it, eight to ten times a day. 

I just loved to stare at it in the mirror. I'd risk the fall just to know how it feels to fly. It would take a while for me to get used to seeing the black ink on my skin. But I would never regret it. Believe it or not, I was already thinking of my next one. 

My phone vibrated on the coffee table, bringing me from my daze. I picked it up and swiped my finger across the screen to unlock it. There was a text.

Hey. Can we meet up and talk?

Really Harry? Really? I scoffed.

Why would I want to do that?

Because we need to talk... about everything.

There's nothing to talk about, Harry. You cheated, I found out, we broke up. End of story.

But you don't understand. I had to do it. 

I didn't even bother responding. He had to do it? What, did someone make him do it? Did someone hold a gun to his head and force him to? I don't think so. He did it on his own. He's an adult, he can make his own discussions. 

My phone lit up and started playing a Jamie's Elsewhere song. It was Sandra. "Hey girl, what's up?" I answered. 

"Let's go to a party tonight!" She exclaimed. A grin took over my face. "I'm in. When and where?" 

"I'll be 'round to get you about seven and it's at a friends house."

"Sweet. I can't wait." We bid each other goodbye and hung up. It's just now noon, so I could take a shower now and let my hair air dry while I ate lunch and lounged around. Then I could start getting ready at five. "This day just got better."


Sandra was notorious for going to the craziest parties and throwing the craziest parties. I had been to a few, but nothing like this. People were smoking weed, popping Ecstasy like they were tic tacs, lines of the ever famous white powdery substance being snorted, and practically having sex on every surface of the house we were in. 

Sandra wasn't someone who would condone Ecstasy or Cocaine at her parties. She was by far against any and all drugs except weed. She always told me she dabbled in it and that was it. I didn't mind. To each his own. But you wouldn't expect her to be at a party this out of control. Her five foot five frame was lost after we downed a few drinks in the kitchen. I couldn't even tell her apart from the others by her dip dyed hair. The galaxy skirt she wore blended in with everything else. I was left to my own devices. 

People I didn't know from Adam came up and chatted with me. They asked how I was, who I came with, why I came, etc. Being their normal nosy selves. But I was used to it. It didn't bother me that they asked. As long as I talked to people and drank and had a good time then I was fine. I needed a release and this was exactly what that was; a release.

"Logan, sexy piece of arse, come dance with me!" Tinley, a brunette girl I met here, shouted. I shook my head, drunkenly giggling. "I can't, Tinny, I got to-" I hiccupped. "I got to go."

She over dramatically pouted. "Well poop. You got guys to do and dicks to suck?" I smirked. "Of course!" I slurred. 

After placing sloppy kisses on each others cheeks, I stumbled to the front door. Once I was outside the gust of fresh, cold night air made my breath get caught in my throat. I coughed a few times before plopping down on the front steps. 

"I need a ride home," I mumbled to myself. My phone was held in my hand and dialing a number I knew by heart. "'ello?" A voice thick with sleep answered. 

"Lou Lou!" I shouted, slightly slurring my words. Louis was never happy when he got woke up. Whoops. "Logan? Why're you calling me this late?" He asked. "It's one in the morning."

I giggled. "I'm sorry, Lou! I forgot you get upset. Whoops! But...but can you come pick me up?"

He must have just now noticed my slurring because he sighed. "Are you pissed?"

"Yep." I popped the 'p' and giggled at myself. I heard him shuffling around and then another deep voice in the background. "Where are you?" 

"Um, I don't know. I'll GPS it." I pulled my phone away from my ear and found my location on the GPS. I somehow sent it to him and put the phone back up to my ear all the while giggling. "What're you laughing at? And did you find--nevermind, I just got the text."

"GPS is a funny word," I giggled. My head rested on the railing beside me as my eyes closed. "Hurry up and get here Lou Lou. I'm tired."

"Don't fall asleep, Lo! I don't want some nasty bloke to kidnap you and do unspeakable things to you!" 

I didn't listen though. I hung up and slid my phone back in my clutch. And my eyes slid shut once again; my world going dark.


Harry

"Lou, where are you going? It's one in the bloody morning?" I questioned. Up playing video games and he went to bed early like an old granny. He ran his fingers through his already disheveled hair and slipped on a pair of his Vans. His sweats were all wrinkled as was his bro tank. He must have been sleeping hard. "To get Logan," he replied. 

My heart sped up and my body tensed. "Is she okay? Did something happen to her?" 

He shook his head. "She called me completely pissed out of her mind. I guess she's at a party with Sandra."

I narrowed my eyes. Sandra. I never did like when she took Logan to parties. I'd heard through the grapevine that the parties she went too were insane. On numerous occasions I had to go and pick up a plastered Logan from said parties. I was not a happy camper. Sandra and I didn't get on well. Whatsoever. 

"I'm going with you," I stated. He shook his head. "No you aren't. You'll just make it worse, Haz," he replied. I grabbed the car keys from his hand and slid my feet in my Converse and pulled on my leather jacket. 

"Let's go." He followed me out of his house. I'd been crashing in his guest room ever since Logan and I broke up. My house reminded me too much of her. The little trinkets she left behind. Her books. The pictures. And just the memories. 

I hopped in the driver seat of his Range Rover, starting it. He got in with a sigh and connected his phone to the GPS. "That's where she is."

And with that, we were on our way to get her. I may have broke her heart. I may have crushed her. But that didn't mean I still didn't care about her. I loved her for gods sake. I would do anything and everything for her. All I needed was for her to realize that. If she would, I could win her over again and have her back. She'd have to dump that tosser Jimmy though. 

"Holy shit," Louis mumbled as we pulled up to the house. There were people already passed out on the lawn, red cups thrown every which way, a few people puking in the bushes, and then there was Logan. My eyes zeroed in on her as she sat slouched against the railing of the steps. Louis and I hopped out of the car, heading straight for her. Before we got close, the big blue front door opened and out wafted a huge cloud of smoke followed by two drunk idiots. 

They took one look at Logan and smirked at each other. The guy with the Justin Bieber wannabe hair got down in front of her while the other guy with the buzzed hair got behind her, then they both went to pick her up. That sent me into overdrive. I rushed forward, pushing the guy by her feet away from her. 

"Oi! What the fucking hell d'ya think your doin'?!" He shouted. I glared at him. "What the fucking hell do you think your doing with my girlfriend?" I spat. 

"Sure didn't look like you were keeping a good eye on her," the guy behind her spoke. Louis cut in before I lost my temper even more. "It'd be smart to keep your mouth shut and get the fuck away before Harry here really loses his temper," he said. 

They both muttered under their breath and walked off. I took a deep breath and let it out before picking up a passed out Logan, cradling her in my arms. Louis took the keys from my pocket and walked ahead of us. 

"Sandra left me all alone," she slurred in a whisper. Looking down at her, I saw her eyes were opened the tiniest bit. "I know love. Just go back to sleep," I replied. 

"Okay." And she was out. I managed to get her in the back without any trouble. I stayed back there with her, her head laying in my lap as she curled up in the backseat. "I'm staying back here Lou. You can drive."

It didn't matter how many times she said she hated me. Or how many times she said she didn't want anything to do with me. Or how many times she blamed me for how she's been acting recently. I would always -and I mean always- be there for her. I loved her with every fiber of my being and I always have. What I did to her was unforgivable, but I had my reasons. Those reasons may have been highly disliked by me, but I had those reasons. One day, when she was ready, I would tell her.

"You still love her, don't you?" Louis asked softly, glancing at us in the rearview mirror. Staring down at her, I couldn't ignore the erratic beating of my heart or the way my skin tingled when her skin met mine. I nodded. "Yeah. I do."