Hold Me Down

Those eyes, those beautiful orbs that could read me like a book, plain as day—were staring into my own. I knew he could see what I had done, it was written across my face as the tears fell once again. This time I didn’t hold back sobs as I felt my body shake violently as the sorrow took hold.

I flinched away from his hand as he reached towards me—I didn’t deserve his kindness. He wouldn’t want to give it to me once he realizes for certain what I had done. I’ve ruined everything—everything. Frank won’t be the only one to hate me once I come clean with my dirty deed.

“Mikes, baby, what’s, what’s wrong?”

He knew, he had to know—he could always see through me. I could feel the millions of shattered fragments of my heart slicing and mutilating the insides of my body. Every pump of blood spread more and more pain throughout my entire being.

My chest heaved, my lungs felt like they were going to give out with each and every sob, every gasp of air as I heard rushed footsteps and the door opening to reveal my brother, my best friend and my son—our family.

“Da-da-dad…you…you…you didn’t…”

I glanced at Tucker; it was as if that small six-year old boy was in front of me again. Afraid of a ruined life, another parent to be disappointed in—he shook his head violently.

“You promised! You said you didn’t! You…you lied to me…”

I turned away from him as I heard him storm out and slam his bedroom door. His was the first life I’ve ruined tonight. Looking into his eyes he knew what I had done—he knew and I knew it.