Hold Me Down

He let everything he felt for me out in this kiss. I could feel it all. He pulled away, sitting up to lean against my wall as he looked down at me. He motioned for me to cuddle into him—I did.

His arms fit perfectly around my thin frame as my head nuzzled itself into his neck. One of his arms reached up so his fingers could play with my hair as he just held me. My tears were slowly subsiding and my breath was evening out.

“Mikey…”

“Yeah…”

He pulled me just a bit tighter.

“I, I wrote something for you, it’s taken me a while to complete but I did. Can, can I play it for you?”

I nodded as he searched out my old acoustic. He perched himself at the foot of my bed, tuning it slightly before he began to strum a soft melody.

Oh why can't I be what you need?
A new improved version of me.
But I'm nothing so good
no; I'm nothing...
just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs
of violence, of love, and of sorrow.
I beg for just one more tomorrow!
Where you'd hold me down, fold me in
deep deep, deep in the heart of your sins.

I'd break in two over you
I'd break in two
and each piece of me dies
and only you can give the breath of life!
But you don't see me. You don’t...

Here I'm pinned between darkness and light,
bleached and blinded by these nights.
Where I'm tossing and tortured till dawn
by you, visions of you, then you're gone.
The shock bleeds the red from my face,
when i hear someone's taken my place.
How could love be so thoughtless, so cruel?
When all, all that i did was for you...

I'd break in two over you
I'd break in two
and each piece of me dies
and only you can give the breath of life!
But you don’t see me. You don't.

I'd break in two over you
I'd break in two
and each piece of me dies
and only you can give the breath of life!
But you don't see me. You don't.

I'd break in two over you;
I'd break in two over you! Over you
I'd break in two,
I would break in two for you.
Now you see me, now you don't.
Now you need me, now you don't.

Everything that we had been through came out in that song. Both of us at points doubted if the other needed the other, if the other actually cared. He just looked at me once he had finished, embarrassed it seemed.

I wanted to say something but I felt that saying anything would diminish what he had just done. This was a huge thing for him to do, I knew that. This wasn’t one of his concerts, this was something that took years to write, something that held a part of him and he was willingly giving that to me—showing me, yet again, how much I meant to him.

He gently put the guitar on my floor as he folded his hands in his lap. I moved towards him, pulling him into my arms; actions being the only thing that wouldn’t diminish this moment he was building between us.