Hold Me Down

When I woke up the next morning the apartment was quiet, too quiet. Frankie wasn’t next to me, I couldn’t hear anything in the kitchen or the living room—my heart raced and I felt panic arising within me.

I rushed across the hall, opening Tuck’s door, his room was empty—where were my boys, my life!? I finally heard the alarm going off in my room, announcing that it was Monday. Tucker was on his way to school and Frank was out on his morning run. I sighed as I made my way into my room to turn off the annoying appliance.

I returned to the kitchen to make some coffee. As soon as it was finished and I was about to take my first sip I heard the door open and in stepped Frank. A sweaty mess of the beautiful man he was. He smirked at me as he stood in the entranceway to the kitchen. I knew that look on his face, I knew what it meant.

”No, no, that’s gross, remember the last time—ew!”

He had pulled me to him in a huge hug and shook his head. I felt his droplets of sweat land on my skin and it grossed me out tenfold. It was disgusting and he thought it was funny, always too funny when he did this. He placed sloppy kisses on my cheeks and along my jaw as he then rubbed his sweaty forehead on my neck, nuzzling me.

I shoved him off of me and wiped frantically at his mess on my clean body. I’d definitely need a shower now—unless that was his plan all along. I just walked by him and made my way to our room. I felt his presence behind me—okay that’s exactly what he had in mind.

“Mikey you’re so tense lately, baby, what’s going on?”

I felt his arms wrap around me from behind and I let out a sigh. I have been stressing lately. I felt my eyes build tears as I turned to bury my head in the crook of his neck. I was losing my son and I had no idea how to fix it. He hates the man I love, the man I’d do anything for.

I almost fathomed Tucker’s idea to leave him if it made Tucker happy. Tucker has so much that more of a hold over Frank it slightly angers me sometimes. He’s not even my son by birth but I love him more than life itself. I’d die for Frank but it’s just not the same.

“I’m sorry Frankie, I’m just, I’m being a girl about stuff and I just need to suck it up and deal with it. I’m sorry Tucker hasn’t taken a liking to you.”

“He never really did Mikes.”

I could hear the sadness in his voice as the tears finally spilt and ran down my cheeks.