Beetlejuice and Lydia

"157...158...159..." Beetlejuice counted the doors as we walked down one of the long hallways in the cathedral.

"Can you please, for the love of good, count to yourself? Please? Just this once?" I asked him. We had been directed to a hallway that started at 140 and wouldn't end until 180. Thank the afterlife I wasn't going to hear him count all the way to one-eighty. Just most of the way.

"165...166...167..." He continued to count, ignoring my request completely. I huffed, holding my head.

"171...172...ah, one-seven-three. Look, we're here Babe." He said. We finally stopped at one of the large oak doors that had a golden '173' nailed to the front of it. Beetlejuice opened the door.

"Ladies first." He said, allowing me to walk in.

The room slanted downwards, with small lights on both sides of the room. Chairs lined around the isle that led down towards the judges desk. Right now a plaintiff and a defendant were standing behind two of the tables at the front, talking to the judge. Only about 1/3 of the seats were filled, but that still didn't stop anyone from turning (or holding) their heads to face us as we made our entrance.

I felt my face flush as I walked down the isle, towards the front of the courtroom. Beetlejuice on the other hand was being his notorious self and enjoying all of the attention by waving to everyone and blowing kisses to the crowd. I found a seat in row three and pulled Beetlejuice to sit in the isle seat next to me.

Judge Valence Devora cleared his throat to gain everyone's attention back to the case at hand.

"Now, Sir Lewis Marx, tell me again when was it that you noticed your last will and testament was missing?" He asked in a silky smooth voice.

"R-right before she k-killed me, Sir." The plaintiff, whom was dressed in frills and a powdered wig stuttered.

"Now, are you sure Lady Kate Marx was the one who did kill you?" Judge Valence Devora asked, turning to look at the defendant. The defendant, a woman dressed in blue lace looked at the plaintiff. The plaintiff nodded his head in a fast movement.

"LIES! HE HAS NO PROOF THAT I KILLED HIM! I SHOULD GET THE ESTATE TO DWELL IN! NOT HIM!" Her high pitched voice screeched through the hall, making me clasp my hands to my ears. Sir Lewis Marx jumped at the sound of her screech.

"Sir, I c-can explain. The p-poision s-she slipped me h-has long b-b-been digested. That's the only proof that I ever had." Sir Lewis Marx answered timidly. Judge Devora sighed, and leaned back in his chair.

"Your story seems to be plausible enough, but without any other proof than that, I have to offer Lady Kate Marx the estate, and wish you the best here in the afterlife." Judge Devora said, causing the plaintiff to drop his head in defeat.

"HA!" The woman yelled, a smug look on her face.

"That poor man." I whispered to Beetlejuice. He was leaning back in his seat, cleaning his cruddy fingernails.

"But, due to the fact that you do not feel safe around this woman, and the process to get a court date these days is such a hassle, as I'm sure you've found out after three hundred years, I'll make sure that you have well enough arrangements here to have your own estate granted with your own house and servants. You are no longer binded to this woman in holy matrimony if you wish, since 'till death do us part' has expired for you two." Judge Devora continued, a small smirk playing on his face. The plaintiff's head jumped up, as his deceased wife's face lost the rest of it's smugness..

"Really?" He asked. The judge nodded. Sir Lewis Marx gave a small relieved chuckle and clapped his hands together.

"Yes! Well see, Lady Kate? It does all work out for the best! HA!" He said, his timidness gone, he turned around away from the desk, grabbing the small door that led to the isle. "This is perfect! Oh, and by the way Kate, I never loved you really. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to track down my old mistress, Ameilia." With that, he was gone out the doors, laughing down the hallways.

"AMELIA?!" Kate yelled again, before walking from behind the desk and began to stomp down the isle in her ex-husbands wake. As she walked passed us, Beetlejuice grabbed her hand.

"You know babe, my place is always open." Beetlejuice said. Kate scrunched up her face, and slapped him across the cheek, causing me to grimace away from how painful it looked. I glared at her as she walked out of the courtroom.

"Case 290, Beetlejuice?" Judge Valence Devora questioned from the front of the room. Beetlejuice got up from his seat, me following him. He stood behind the plaintiff's table as I took a seat on the witness bench next to him, staring at the judge. Judge Valence was cute, even for a dead guy. He had still a tan complexion, and wavy brownish black hair that he had placed just so out of his face. He had angular, masculine features, and a very charming smile as he greeted Beetlejuice.

"Well hello again, Beetlejuice. I remember our last talk. How many centuries ago was it?" He asked.

"I'm not good with dates." Beetlejuice snapped at him, causing me to look at him in alarm. His jaw was clenched, and he looked very angry. What was I missing here?

"Now, you are applying for full citizenship here in the afterlife?" Judge Devora asked, causing the room to stir.

"Yes, Judge. I am." Beetlejuice said.

"What made you give up haunting the living?" Judge Devora asked, his voice kind.

"Because, I just felt like it." Beetlejuice continued to break bad with the judge.

"Do you have any relatives here in the afterlife anymore? Or have they all moved on to bigger and better things?" Judge Devora continued to question him.

"I don't see how this is relevant."

"Okay, then what are your credentials? How do we know you're going to be a good citizen here in the afterlife?" Judge Devora asked. I felt as if this was my cue to get up on Beetlejuice's behalf.

"I'd like to vouch on his behalf." I said. I felt weak in the knees as every eye in the courtroom turned to look at me, the invisible one until just a second ago. Judge Devora looked at me, a kind smile on his face.

"Let's see here. You're Lydia Deetz." He said, looking into his files. "You live in the last house Beetlejuice had tried to 'bio-exorcise. He tried to marry you so he could get his freedom to live in the living world."

"That's me." I said.

"Now, what makes you vouch on his behalf?" Judge Devora asked. What did make me vouch on his behalf? Because he asked me to? Because I wanted him out of my hair? What was my motive for being here today? What was it?

"Because he wants to live here." I said. Judge Devora smiled, and a few people chuckled.

"Is that all? He wants to live here? Did he tell you any motivation behind coming here today?" I shook my head.

"No, not really. I think...I think he's looking for some sense of belonging, for once in his afterlife. He hasn't found that sense of belonging anywhere in the living world, so he came here looking for a sense of belonging here. Not like he'd actually admit up to it." I said. Beetlejuice slapped his face.

"And she makes it into a Hallmark moment." He mumbled, causing me to glare at him. Did he want to be here or what?

"I'll tell you what, Beetlejuice. You may stay here, in one of the local apartments in this city for five years going off of living time. I'm sure Lydia will keep the time for you. But in that time, I want you to prove to us that you can be a law abiding citizen." Judge Devora said, and clapped his mallet down. I stood up.

"Thanks, Judge." Beetlejuice mumbled. I was about to walk down the isle and leave when Judge Devora called to me.

"Oh and Lydia." He called and winked, flashing his charming smile at me. "Keep an eye out for him." I felt myself blush again as Betelguse grabbed my hand and began dragging me down the isle. He didn't release my hand until we were outside of the courthouse.

"Let's get out of here. I'm done with this stinkin' hellhole." Beetlejuice said, walking faster down the streets to get out of town.