Babette's Story

Two days had passed since Jack was beaten. I couldn't bring myself to visit Jack to see how he was doing, with the risk of coming face to face with Forrest. I thought that maybe if I tried to stay away the feelings I had would cease. Truthfully it scared me to feel the way I did about someone other than family. This quiet mysterious man who made my heart flutter with just one glance. Who vowed to keep me safe. A man whose myth and legend was slowly sinking in to my reality.

Staying away from Blackwater station was getting harder to do when it was all I could think about. Forrest' face remained a vision in my head throughout the days. I managed to busy myself with house chores to keep me from running out the door. Pop and the boys were out back helping aunt Gillian expand her garden.

"Earth to Baps." Eli said snapping his fingers in front of my face. Waking me from my trance like stare. "You're in another world these days." He snickered.

I gave a breathy awkward laugh. "Sorry about that. Busy mind, can't shut it off ya know." I said as I pointed to my temple. He sat down at the dining room table, taking a break from his field work in the sun.

He gave me a pointed look as if he were deciding on his choice of words. "Do ya mind if I ask you somethin'?" I gave a nod encouraging him to go on. "Did something happen to your friend? That Bondurant kid?" I stared at him wide eyed not sure if I should tell him. I was worried he would try to ban me from the station. Going against my first instinct I thought it best to be honest.

"Yea, he kinda had a bad run in with a deputy." I shrugged.

"Kinda?" He raised an eyebrow. "I seen the damage that was done. I would say he more than just had a bad run in. Were you with 'em?" I shook my head, my eyes falling to the ground.

Staying quiet for a moment I came to the decision that I was going to tell Eli a few things about that day. "I found him that way on Cricket's front yard. That new special deputy did a number on 'em." I took a deep breath feeling the lump building in my throat. "It was pretty brutal. Seeing 'em laying on the ground with blood everywhere. Kind of hit home." I bit my lip.

Eli looked worriedly at me. At a lost for words, no doubt. Being that I usually open up to Richie than him. "I'm sorry you had to see that Baps." He said as he got up from his seat to pull me in his arms.

"I'm fine Eli. It was just troubling to know that someone of authority would do that to an innocent kid." I assured him.

"I've seen him 'round town whenever I run errands. He's kinda hard to look away from." He chuckled. "Walks around with a permanent sneer plastered on his face. Heard from the boys at the mill that he's from Chicago." He stepped back from me.

I laughed at Eli's remarks. "Yea, he's creepy." I said, careful not to mention the looks that he gives me and Angie.

"Ya know....." Eli paused scratching the back of his head. "Sometimes being the older brother makes you blind to the younger sibling getting older. Especially when that sibling is the only girl in the family. I know we shelter you, but that's only because we see you as the baby mama brought home." He smiled at the thought. Eli was finally giving me insight to why he and Richie were so overprotective.

I smiled back, "I was the fragile porcelain doll. Mama would always tell me that story. How she would tell you to be really careful so you didn't break me." I shook my head in amusement.

"Me and Richie really thought you were a doll ya know?" He smirked. "We took it upon ourselves to keep you from getting broken. She would always tell us that we had to protect you from the bad things in the world." He laughed without humor. "She made us promise to look after you before she past. I guess we took looking after you to a bit of the extreme.

"Just a bit." I snorted. My eyes started to water.

"I don't wanna keep you from living your life Baps..... You're 19. Mama was already married to pop at 17. You're old enough to do as you like. You have every bit of mama in you. You know what you want and you fight for it. Even with thick headed brothers like us, you still try and make us see that it's right for you. The way that you say things remind me of her. I guess we were scared that we'd lose you too." Eli sighed as he took a seat at the table again. I sat down next to him, facing him.

My tears slowly rolling down my face. I missed my mom, but I was never able to speak about her like this. I felt like she was a very touchy subject. I looked at Eli's glassy eyes. "Why are you telling me this Eli?" I asked.

"I don't want you to resent us for being so protective without knowing why we feel we need to do it. We thought that's what mama wanted, but I've realized that she meant something different. She wanted us to teach you the difference between a good man and a bad one. To let you make your own choices. Whether it was a good choice or a mistake. She wanted us to be the men that you knew you can always count on." A tear rolled down his face and he quickly wiped it away.

"We were so pressed on trying to keep you away from the bad world, that we let Charlie stroll right into it. Being the eldest I can't help but feel responsible for what happened to him. Charlie was a smart kid but he was fuckin' oblivious to the shit that happened around 'em. Which is why we tightened our reigns on you- because we failed at protecting our baby brother." He sniffed.

"It's not your fault Eli. Charlie was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Those people that did it killed 7 innocent people just to prove they were the king of that street. None of this is your fault." I tried to comfort him.

He leaned forward with his forearms on his thighs. "I want you to promise me something Baps." Head inclined looking up at me through his lashes. "Dont be scared to do what you want on a count of us. Don't ever regret the choices you make that you know in your heart are right for you. Even if your hardheaded older brothers don't agree with it. We just gotta learn to accept that this is your life to live. Your choices." He said as he stared into my eyes. A smile creeping on to his face

"I promise you Eli." I smiled. He pulled me in for a hug.

"A precious moment and I wasn't invited." Richie scoffed walking in to the dining area. We laughed moving away from each other. "We need you out there Eli." He said. Walking back out the door. Eli smiled one last time at me before standing and heading back out to the yard.

I couldn't believe what just happened. Eli was giving me permission to do what I wanted without the risk of getting scolded by him. I took a moment to let his words sink in. The first thing that came to mind was Forrest. I could tell him how I felt about him without having to worry about my brothers finding out. Before I could psych myself out of going to see him I headed out the door.

"I'm headed out pop." I stated.

"Where ya headed?" He ask still focusing on his task.

I felt butterflies in my stomach at the thought of what I really wanted to do. "I'm gonna go to the Minnix's farm. To see if Bertha and Angie are still 'round."

"Well alright. Make sure you girls don't get home so late." Pop muttered. Richie looked up at me with a knowing look.

"Be careful Baps." Richie said to me. I gave him a nod and my best smile and headed towards my real destination.

The closer I got to the station the more nervous I got. I started to second guess my original plan to tell Forrest how I felt about him. As I reached the station I could see him sitting in his usual spot with a mug in hand. I stopped to take two deep breaths and calm my nerves. I walked slowly taking in my surroundings. Jack wasn't around which meant he was most likely at Cricket's. Howard was more than likely off getting drunk with Danny. I walked up the steps standing a few feet away from Forrest.

"Hi Forrest." I said awkwardly. He grunted his response as he took a sip from his mug. I stood silent for a moment trying to muster up the courage to get the words out. "Do you think I could speak to you?" He looked at me through the corner of his eye causing me to blush. "Somewhere private?" I looked down at my feet. He said nothing as he stood from his chair and motioned for me to go down the stairs. We walked in silence till we reached the lake behind the farm. He turned to me with his hands in his sweater pockets, waiting for me to speak.

I stared at my hands picking at my finger nails. "I can't help but think about that night I came here alone. When I practically attacked you." I snorted. I risked a glance at him to see his lips curve up. "I'm not sure of what I'm feeling for you. I've never felt this strongly about someone. What I do know is that I can't stop thinking about you Forrest. Is this making me sound crazy?" I laughed without humor.

His expression gave nothing away. He gave me not a hint of anything. "I don't think you're crazy." He mumbled. "It came as a bit of a shock to me, but I kissed you back didn't I?" He asked. I felt the heat rush to my cheeks and looked away from him. "I'd be lyin' if I said I weren't thinkin' 'bout you too."

"I'm completely clueless to what's going on between us. Are we friends that care a lot 'bout each other? Or are we something more? You're kinda hard to read Forrest." I said looking him in his eyes. Holding my breath for his answer.

"What do you want me to be?" He asked back.

I thought for a moment about what I wanted from Forrest. What I was asking from him. Did I want what mama and pop had with Forrest? Did I want him around because he gave me a safe feeling? Was I too young to know the difference between being in love and liking someone? I thought I knew what I came to tell Forrest, but his question forced me to think otherwise. I was confused more at this moment than I ever was before. There was something there I couldn't deny that. I just couldn't figure out the way I felt for Forrest. A friend? Lover? I was in way over my head