Babette's Story

It was difficult for me to sleep. Every time I shut my eyes I'd see his repulsive face. I'd wake up gasping and drenched in sweat. Being wrapped in Forrest' arms couldn't even erase the traumatizing images that plagued my mind. Then, there was the graphic images of Cricket Pate being brutally murdered right in front of me. The helpless feeling of which I felt when Charlie was gunned down consumed me, and all I could do was watch another innocent young boy die.

When I think back, I picture so many different scenarios- all in which my brother Charlie was still very much alive. If I had let him and his friends walk me to work... their lives would have been spared. Just as if I would have done something to help Cricket, perhaps, he would still be alive at this moment. Guilt. Guilt is what I felt.

Forrest is the only one who knows about Cricket. The only one that I could bring myself to tell. Once we had arrived at the station Maggie was the only one there. Jack was in the shed- no doubt scared to come face to face with Forrest. Howard was out with Danny- not sure what they were up to, but come tomorrow morning when all three brothers came face to face, it would be a show down.

Jack will be devestated. His best friend, His partner, He would no longer see him. He would no longer be able to share his ridiculous over exaggerated stories- that Cricket aways seemed to enjoy. We would never see his smile, hear his infectious laugh, or witness anymore of his genius ideas. Tears slid down my cheeks. I wouldn't be able to look in Jack's boyish hazel eyes and tell him that I watched his best friend be murdered.

I couldn't lie in bed any longer. I carefully removed myself from Forrest' arms. Hoping that I wouldn't wake him. He remained asleep as I tiptoed towards the room door. Once out the room I noticed a light coming from downstairs. Someone was up. I cautiously walked downstairs only to find Maggie sitting at the bar- cigarette in hand and a glass of brown liquid set in front of her. She noticed me immediately, quickly putting out her cigarette. Her eyes held mine. There was a silent understanding between us. I was brought back to the day that an attempt was made on Forrest' life, by men who were paid by deputy Rakes. Maggie was raped that night. No one knows of that night, with the exception of me and Angie.

"Come and sit, Baps." She said softly. I sat down on a bar stool right next to her. Wincing from the soreness between my thighs. I felt her gaze on me, but I made no attempt at eye contact. Silence lingered, neither one of us ready to speak about a terrible thing we had in common. Forrest had filled her in when he put me to bed, I'm sure.

"Do you see their faces?" I said in a voice almost inaudible. I could feel her eyes on me as I stared off in front of me.

She sighed. "Every night." She whispered. "I wish that I can say you'll move on from it and forget, but how can you forget something like that?" I looked to her as she focused on her hands on the bar.

"How do you get through the day?" My voice cracked caused by the sob I held in my throat.

"Distraction. Working here, keeping myself busy. It keeps my mind off it. When you're alone with your thoughts is when it eats away at you." She says somberly. She placed her hand over mine. "You're not alone. You have your family, and you have Forrest." She whispers sincerely. Loud footsteps from upstairs interrupt us. As Forrest descends, his eyes immediately find mine questioningly.

"What 'chu doin' up?" He rasped. He made his way over to us.

"Couldn't sleep." I mutter. Our eyes never leaving each other. Reading me like the back of his hand.

Maggie rose from her stool. "I'm gonna head on up to bed." She sighed heavily. "G'night you two." She offered me a tight smile. Forrest took Maggie's place at the bar. His body turned to me as I turned straight ahead. The events that had taken place flooded my mind. My eyes began to water, but I fought the urge to cry. How could Forrest ever look at me the same? I was tainted by a vile man. I was disgusted with myself. How could he not be?

"I guess now, you could say 'I told you so', huh?" I said with a sad smile. His eyebrows furrowed. "I always thought it could never happen to me." I sniffled. "I took your warning too lightly, and I put my life and our child's life in danger." I sobbed unable to hold it in any longer.

"It ain't your-" He started to say before I cut him off.

"Isn't it? I made the decision to drive to the stills. I went there knowing that you would be angry." I sucked in a huge breath trying to control the heaving that was slowly taking over my body. "... And it's my fault that Cricket is dead." I cried inconsolably. Forrest attempted to pull me into his arms but I shrugged him off. I stood up from my barstool crying and shaking my head from left to right slowly. Forrest looked as though he was angry but something told me he wasn't angry with me.

"Now you listen, there are many people to blame and you ain't one of 'em." He spoke through gritted teeth. With his head hung he let out a breath trying to reel in his animosity to those he felt was responsible.

"It is my fault-" I started to say.

"It ain't your fault." His anger evident in his tone.

"It is-" That was all I managed to get out before Forrest' voice boomed through the diner.

"It ain't your fault!" He was closer to me now. I stared into his eyes. I heard his words but I still didn't believe that it was not my fault.

"It is." I said lowly. He chest rose. He wiped a hand over his face stepping back a couple of steps before he turned and scratched the back of his head in frustration.

"You need to get some rest. Your father s'pose to get the doctor here in the mornin'." He sighed.

"How can I get rest when I can't sleep?" I retorted.

"Babette, please." He pleaded. I really didn't know why I was acting this way with Forrest. Why was I mad at him? He's just trying to comfort me. I glared at him for what seemed like hours, but was only a few seconds. I walked pass him headed for the stairs. "Babette?" He called out to me but I ignored him and continued on to our bedroom.

As I laid myself in bed I felt guilty. Guilty for treating Forrest as if this was his fault. I think I was more upset about the fact that I took Forrest' warnings for granted. He climbed into bed. I turned my back to him, but he made no attempt to wrap me in his arms. He probably thought it best if he gave me some space. I'm pushing him away. Although that's the last thing I want to do, I couldn't help it.

I slept for about 3 hours before I woke up in bed alone. I got up and made my way to the bathroom. Standing in front of the mirror, my eyes closed. Slowly I let them open to take in the damage that was done to my face. Cuts and bruises scattered about my face. My lip was still slightly swollen and slit on the right side. I shut my eyes again letting out a shudder. I washed up before I made my way downstairs.

At the top of the steps I could hear Forrest' voice speaking to someone. "Forrest, I never meant to..." It was Jack voice I heard. This isn't going to end well with the Bondurants, I thought to myself.

"Go on, you never meant to what? Walk around like you own the place. Like how you're public enemy number one now?" Forrest wasn't shouting which was even more terrifying. I start to descend the stairs taking in the view of Forrest close to his little brother's face.

"Forrest, I was just tryin' to make sure... I didn't know she was gonna come lookin' for me." Jack says nervously. Suddenly Forrest slaps Jack hard in the face.

"Forrest don't!" I yell, but it's almost as if I said nothing at all.

He gets even closer to Jack's face. "Lettin' you in was a mistake." He was searching Jack's face for eye contact that he was not receiving.

"Sorry." Jack said almost inaudibly. His eyes casted downward.

"Hmm?" Forrest gave Jack his ear pressing his lips together. Once I reached the bottom of the stairs I looked over to the bar to see an equally worried Maggie.

"I said, I'm sorry. I'm sorry they blew up the stills, I'm sorry they got the car, I'm sorry they took your money..." Before Jack could go on apologizing he was cut short.

"My money? Oh, my money? This ain't about the Goddamn money. You see what happen to her?" Forrest nodded towards me, but Jack didn't risk a look. "That is your fault." He hissed through clenched teeth.

"Forrest stop. It's not his fault." He glared at me from the corner of his eye. Which rendered me silent.

"Might be he's had enough, Forrest." Howard appeared outside the screen door. His crystal blue eyes looked from Forrest to me and back again.

Forrest' animosity was now turned to his older brother. "Yeah, and as for you, you dumb son of a bitch..." Howard cut him off slightly raising his voice above Forrest'.

"Yeah, I just heard, they got Cricket." My heart dropped. My eyes instantly looking to Jack to gauge his reaction. He looked confused.

"What do you mean?" He asked Howard. Forrest took a couple steps away from Jack already knowing the answer.

"They killed him. Cricket's dead, Jack." Howard said sounding remorseful. Jack looked shocked and devastated. He stared blankly ahead of him as he took a seat at one of the tables. Seeing how hurt Jack was I couldn't hold in my own emotions.

"That boy never hurt a fly." Jack started crying, Maggie went over to comfort him. Tears streamed down my face. Forrest stood by the bar with Howard. I could feel the heat of his stare. I met his blue gray eyes. Jack started to sob and I couldn't bare it anymore. I turned towards the steps and made my way back upstairs. It was going to be so much harder to get through the days. To a find a distraction. To keep myself from seeing Cricket Pate's struggling body fall limp in the hands of Deputy Rakes. To keep the thoughts of what he did to me buried.