Will You Stay?
I'll Miss You
“Remus, honey,” Tonks said, leaning against the doorway, “Are you alright?”
Remus sighed and gently pushed his body from the windowsill. He smiled softly as he looked at Tonks before walking over to her. “Of course, I just -”
“I know,” she said, smiling sadly. She ran both her hands through his messy hair and leaned in towards his lips. A husky scent radiated from his body and she pressed her lips softly against his. “It’s getting closer.”
“I’m going to miss you,” he murmured against her skin.
“You can’t leave before New Year’s. It won’t be the same.”
Remus’s insides shuddered at her pleas. He wished he could be there, but he could never risk her safety like that. He always left a few days before he phased. He couldn’t bear for her to see him like that.
“I guess I’ll just have to make it up to you now.”
Tonks smiled and led him to the couch, ignoring the pile of dishes in the sink. Those would be saved for the morning after he left and she could use them to keep her mind off things. The fireplace crackled as they lay down against the cushions. He fastened their right hands together and held them up above her head, bringing his other hand around her waist before pressing his lips against hers. His lungs inhaled with the scent of her perfume; it smelled like flowers. Tonks didn’t usually wear it but every now and then she broke it out for special occasions.
Tonks broke free of his hand grip and let her fingers travel down his body, taking in the shape of his muscles under his clothes. She ran her fingers under his shirt and felt along his abdomen, tracing the small scars. Her mind had memorized them all, and she could now trace them perfectly without having to look at them. Her hand traveled back down and tugged at his shirt. Remus took the hint, smiling through the kisses, and broke free to pull of the nagging cotton. Tonks hands flew to her blouse but Remus stopped her.
“I can’t,” he almost panted, “Not when it’s this close.”
She sat up and wrapped her arms loosely around his neck. She stared into his eyes, noticing the pupils widening slightly before shrinking to its normal size. She sighed, knowing it would have to wait until after New Year’s.
“We don’t have to,” she assured him.
Remus smiled slightly as Tonks hair turned a light shade of blonde. That color was basically her white flag, signaling she was ok with the small stuff. It was a nice change from her usual hot purple hair. The blonde was more relaxed and laid back.
Tonks kissed his chin before snuggling up against his side, letting his body warm her. He almost seemed warmer than the fire place. She loved these moments, when they were just lounging around the house, no problems and no worries. They were getting rarer with the tensions He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was causing lately. It left Remus constantly worried. His face was graying, wrinkles forming in the creases of his eyes, dark shadows forming under. It hurt her to see him like this.
“I love you,” she said softly.
Remus tilted her chin up and kissed her lips, wrapping his arms tightly around her body. “I love you too,” he murmured against her skin.
Tonks melted against his body, letting his arms move her, his lips caress her. Before she knew it she was on his lap, straddling him. She moaned and ran her hands down his body. His hands nearly scraped down her back and she shivered. Her mind turned sly and she slowly began unbuttoning the bottom buttons of her blouse. She got almost halfway before Remus caught on and circled his hands in front of him to grasp hers.
“I told you I can’t.”
She didn’t know why but his rejecting tone inflamed her and she felt her scalp get hot. Remus noticed the change in hair color and sighed.
“Tonks,” he whispered. “What if something happened to you? I could never forgive myself if I lost control.”
“What if something didn’t happen,” she countered. “Remus, I won’t see you again for God knows how long and you said we were going to try.” Tears started to form in the corners of her eyes, making his jaw clench. “I couldn’t handle it if something happened before we got a chance too.”
Remus’s eyes were unreadable as he stared at the love of his life. His instincts said to reject her again but part of him could see her reasoning. What if he got killed before he could even start making a family? Tonks would be crushed. He swallowed, knowing the decision was already made. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers again, finally giving into her wishes. He finished unbuttoning her blouse before sliding it down her shoulders and tossing her aside. She unhooked her bra with ease and threw it over the couch. Remus picked her up by the waist and carried her to the bedroom, tossing clothes off as he went.
Tonks smiled, swathed tightly in soft linen. She heard a creak and turned her head towards the noise. Remus was sitting next to her, buttoning up his shirt. He turned towards her and smiled.
“Did you sleep well?”
“Much better than well,” Tonks replied. “I think I would’ve slept better, though, if somebody wasn’t keeping me up until the late hours of the morning.”
Remus blushed in the dim light and leaned down towards her. “Insomnia has its benefits,” he teased.
Tonks playfully pushed his cheek away before sitting up to kiss it. “Would you like a drink before you go?”
He sighed. “Kingsley is expecting me. Besides, I have to go the cabin right after to wait out the storm.”
Tonks frowned, knowing what he meant. “I’ll miss you,” she said, gently stroking his cheek. Remus leaned into it, grabbing her fingers and kissing them gently.
“It won’t be long. It’ll be over before you know it.” He kissed her hand again before sitting up. “I love you,” he said before walking out.
“I love you too,” she whispered.
She got up and pulled on some clothes, walking out into the living room. Remus was quick; he had already left. She sighed and decided to get started on the dishes. Walking over to the sink she turned on the water and waited for the sink to fill. She could just use magic but this was a better distraction. Tonks rubbed her hands together, looking around the small kitchen. Her eyes found a twinkle of silver on the table and she walked over to it.
She picked it up, seeing it was a dog tag. She looked back at the table and saw a note with messy writing scrawled on it. She picked it up and read aloud: “I hope that this will keep me in your thoughts while I’m away. If you need me just howl. I love you, Remus.” Tonks smiled at the joke before fastening the chain around her neck. It fell just below her collarbone, the cool metal making her shiver. She clutched the tag as last night’s events ran through her mind. It was a wonderful way to end a Christmas, she thought before turning back to the sink.
Remus sighed and gently pushed his body from the windowsill. He smiled softly as he looked at Tonks before walking over to her. “Of course, I just -”
“I know,” she said, smiling sadly. She ran both her hands through his messy hair and leaned in towards his lips. A husky scent radiated from his body and she pressed her lips softly against his. “It’s getting closer.”
“I’m going to miss you,” he murmured against her skin.
“You can’t leave before New Year’s. It won’t be the same.”
Remus’s insides shuddered at her pleas. He wished he could be there, but he could never risk her safety like that. He always left a few days before he phased. He couldn’t bear for her to see him like that.
“I guess I’ll just have to make it up to you now.”
Tonks smiled and led him to the couch, ignoring the pile of dishes in the sink. Those would be saved for the morning after he left and she could use them to keep her mind off things. The fireplace crackled as they lay down against the cushions. He fastened their right hands together and held them up above her head, bringing his other hand around her waist before pressing his lips against hers. His lungs inhaled with the scent of her perfume; it smelled like flowers. Tonks didn’t usually wear it but every now and then she broke it out for special occasions.
Tonks broke free of his hand grip and let her fingers travel down his body, taking in the shape of his muscles under his clothes. She ran her fingers under his shirt and felt along his abdomen, tracing the small scars. Her mind had memorized them all, and she could now trace them perfectly without having to look at them. Her hand traveled back down and tugged at his shirt. Remus took the hint, smiling through the kisses, and broke free to pull of the nagging cotton. Tonks hands flew to her blouse but Remus stopped her.
“I can’t,” he almost panted, “Not when it’s this close.”
She sat up and wrapped her arms loosely around his neck. She stared into his eyes, noticing the pupils widening slightly before shrinking to its normal size. She sighed, knowing it would have to wait until after New Year’s.
“We don’t have to,” she assured him.
Remus smiled slightly as Tonks hair turned a light shade of blonde. That color was basically her white flag, signaling she was ok with the small stuff. It was a nice change from her usual hot purple hair. The blonde was more relaxed and laid back.
Tonks kissed his chin before snuggling up against his side, letting his body warm her. He almost seemed warmer than the fire place. She loved these moments, when they were just lounging around the house, no problems and no worries. They were getting rarer with the tensions He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was causing lately. It left Remus constantly worried. His face was graying, wrinkles forming in the creases of his eyes, dark shadows forming under. It hurt her to see him like this.
“I love you,” she said softly.
Remus tilted her chin up and kissed her lips, wrapping his arms tightly around her body. “I love you too,” he murmured against her skin.
Tonks melted against his body, letting his arms move her, his lips caress her. Before she knew it she was on his lap, straddling him. She moaned and ran her hands down his body. His hands nearly scraped down her back and she shivered. Her mind turned sly and she slowly began unbuttoning the bottom buttons of her blouse. She got almost halfway before Remus caught on and circled his hands in front of him to grasp hers.
“I told you I can’t.”
She didn’t know why but his rejecting tone inflamed her and she felt her scalp get hot. Remus noticed the change in hair color and sighed.
“Tonks,” he whispered. “What if something happened to you? I could never forgive myself if I lost control.”
“What if something didn’t happen,” she countered. “Remus, I won’t see you again for God knows how long and you said we were going to try.” Tears started to form in the corners of her eyes, making his jaw clench. “I couldn’t handle it if something happened before we got a chance too.”
Remus’s eyes were unreadable as he stared at the love of his life. His instincts said to reject her again but part of him could see her reasoning. What if he got killed before he could even start making a family? Tonks would be crushed. He swallowed, knowing the decision was already made. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers again, finally giving into her wishes. He finished unbuttoning her blouse before sliding it down her shoulders and tossing her aside. She unhooked her bra with ease and threw it over the couch. Remus picked her up by the waist and carried her to the bedroom, tossing clothes off as he went.
Tonks smiled, swathed tightly in soft linen. She heard a creak and turned her head towards the noise. Remus was sitting next to her, buttoning up his shirt. He turned towards her and smiled.
“Did you sleep well?”
“Much better than well,” Tonks replied. “I think I would’ve slept better, though, if somebody wasn’t keeping me up until the late hours of the morning.”
Remus blushed in the dim light and leaned down towards her. “Insomnia has its benefits,” he teased.
Tonks playfully pushed his cheek away before sitting up to kiss it. “Would you like a drink before you go?”
He sighed. “Kingsley is expecting me. Besides, I have to go the cabin right after to wait out the storm.”
Tonks frowned, knowing what he meant. “I’ll miss you,” she said, gently stroking his cheek. Remus leaned into it, grabbing her fingers and kissing them gently.
“It won’t be long. It’ll be over before you know it.” He kissed her hand again before sitting up. “I love you,” he said before walking out.
“I love you too,” she whispered.
She got up and pulled on some clothes, walking out into the living room. Remus was quick; he had already left. She sighed and decided to get started on the dishes. Walking over to the sink she turned on the water and waited for the sink to fill. She could just use magic but this was a better distraction. Tonks rubbed her hands together, looking around the small kitchen. Her eyes found a twinkle of silver on the table and she walked over to it.
She picked it up, seeing it was a dog tag. She looked back at the table and saw a note with messy writing scrawled on it. She picked it up and read aloud: “I hope that this will keep me in your thoughts while I’m away. If you need me just howl. I love you, Remus.” Tonks smiled at the joke before fastening the chain around her neck. It fell just below her collarbone, the cool metal making her shiver. She clutched the tag as last night’s events ran through her mind. It was a wonderful way to end a Christmas, she thought before turning back to the sink.