Settle Down

Just as my eyes were opening and adjusting to the bright light I felt the opposite side of the bed dip slightly. I then realized I was naked, my midsection covered with a heavy duvet. I pulled it up higher, halfway covering my chest before I looked over at Olivia, who was sitting on the edge of the bed, her back facing me. Her tangled, messy brown hair hung all the way down her bare back as she reached around on the floor.

“Morning.” I called out, my voice still raspy and low from sleep.

“Niall- can I borrow a shirt?” She followed this question with a sniffle.

“Of course. Top drawer.” I smiled, watching her move over to the other side of the room. I studied the curves in her back, noticing her many birthmarks. She had her jeans on, unbuttoned at the top, and she clutched her arms over her chest shyly. She turned her back to me as she pulled my favorite shirt, a blue number that read ‘free hugs’, over her head.

She finally spun around to look at me after putting on the shirt. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying and she sniffled repeatedly, hugging herself and rubbing her arms.

“Are you okay?” I fretted, studying her face as she slowly padded over.

“Niall, I made a mistake. I- I have to go.”

“What? No, don’t leave yet.” I begged, snatching a pair of underwear off the floor and yanking them on.

“Niall. I really don’t want to do this. But I’ve got to catch my train. I- I'm sorry.” She sniffled, backing away slightly.

“Liv.” I called after her as she quickly walked out of the room and into the foyer, picking her purse up off the counter. She then stuffed her feet into her shoes, standing still after doing so.

“Please don’t.” I whimpered pathetically in a last attempt to keep her from leaving.

She walked up to me, making eye contact and smiling before her hand reached up and ran her fingers through my hair. “You should go brunette.” She whispered, a faint smile tracing her lips. She turned around to leave, taking a few steps and opening the door wide before she ran back and enveloped me in a hug.

“I’ll miss you, Niall. So much.” She whispered into my shirt, her tears leaving small stains on my chest.

“You too.” I choked out, willing myself not to cry. Luckily the crying stood at bay long enough for me to watch her walk out of the apartment, and look back one last time before she closed the door behind her.
_

“Nialler! Earth to Niall.” Louis sang out from across the table. We were all out for lunch at a small, secluded place in Manhattan. I was squished into the booth between Liam and Harry, with Zayn, Louis and Eleanor sitting across from us.

“Oh, sorry. What did you say?” I asked, ceasing my fiddling with the napkin on my lap. I couldn’t stop thinking about last night; it ran through my mind over and over again, on repeat.

“You seem out of it, mate. Is something up?” Zayn asked seriously, tilting his chin downwards.

“Oh, yeah. Didn’t get much sleep last night. That’s all.”

“If you know what he means.” Zayn’s eyebrows rose, making fists with his hands and hip thrusting as best he could sitting in a crowded booth.

Louis eyes slowly trailed over to Harry, who had yet to make a comment on the subject that was all too familiar to him.

“It seems like everyone’s down in the dumps today!” Liam remarked. Harry didn’t even bring his eyes up off the table. He only nodded his head slightly, letting out a quiet ‘mmhm’.

“’scuze me, could we have the bill?” Louis asked our waiter as he cleared our plates.

“Of course. I’ll be right back with it.” He shot Louis a quick smile, before walking away with plates stacked up his arms.

“I’m going to use the restroom.” Harry mumbled, standing up and scuffling slowly away.

“What’s up with him?” Zayn frowned at harry, who was retreating to the door of the restaurant.

“Liv and him broke up yesterday.” I replied, taking a gulp of coffee.

“What happened? They seemed so happy with each other?”

“He cheated on her, Zayn. I don’t understand why he’s so down about it.” I replied, shooting a glance to Harry, who was not in the restroom and instead on the back patio, smoking.

“I’ll go talk to him.” Liam spoke up suddenly. I moved out of the booth, allowing Liam to get out and make his way over to harry, who had struck up conversation with a tall man in a suit, who was also out on the porch.

I watched closely as Liam confronted Hazz, pointing to the cigarette in his hand and then holding out his hand. After a long pause Harry reluctantly puled out a pack of Marlboroughs and a lighter, placing them in the palm of Liam’s hand. At this point Zayn had turned himself around, intent to watch what would happen between the two friends.

“Your bill.” The waiter said quickly, placing a bill on the table before moving on to the table beside us.

“I got it.” I told Zayn and Louis, pulling out my wallet and slipping the bills into the checkbook.

We all made our way out front, bidding goodbye to the waiter as I pulled open the door. I sighed contently, enjoying the sensation of cool air on my face. For a moment, I forgot about Liv, and Harry, and everything that was happening and just felt content. But the moment Zayn began pulling me over to his car it all came rushing back.

“Niall?” Zayn called out from inside the car.

“Mm?”

“Earth to Niall. You blanked out there man.” He laughed.

“Anything you want to tell me?” He asked after a long pause.

“No, I'm fine. Can you drop me off at my flat?” I asked, buckling my seatbelt in as the car roared to life. Zayn maneuvered the jag around the busy New York traffic, calmly letting drivers swerve in front of him and turn crazily. I listened to the low hum of the car’s engine, my mind thinking back to last night. It had been everything I thought it would be, and more. Olivia had channeled all of her upset energy into last night, only finding solace when we were in the act. To my surprise, she didn’t shed a tear all night, it was only when she woke up that they started to flow.

I thanked Zayn as we pulled up to my apartment. I then hopped out of the car, stuffing a hand into my pocket and waving goodbye to Zayn, before he sped away. I checked my phone as I waited for the elevator, quickly sending out a tweet as the elevator arrived. I aimlessly scrolled through tweets until a certain one caught my eye. One of the 1D blogs had a picture of Liv running out of Harry’s apartment, and was sending her hate. They must have found an old twitter of hers, because there were many tweets sent out to the account. I clicked on the link to her twitter, smiling at her display picture, which was of her and a friend. They looked to be around sixteen, and they were smiling, their arms wrapped around each other. I scrolled down to her tweets; the last one was in 2014.

@kerryc98 can’t wait till the concert!!! #belieberforever

I chuckled to myself, since I was a belieber too. He had been my idol when I had first started out in the music industry.

I walked over to my room, tossing my phone onto my unmade bed. I glanced down onto the floor and noticed a discarded silver bracelet, strewn over a pair of shorts. I picked it up, inspecting the scratched heart. ‘Olivia’ it read on one side, and on the other was a date ’26.12.98’. I studied it carefully, taking in the long scratch that ran across the ‘O’, and the way the dull silver still glinted in the light. I tucked it into my side drawer, into a small bag that held some valuables. I closed my eyes, sighing heavily as I rested my back on the side of the bed. I was sitting on the floor, absentmindedly texting Louis back and forth. I rolled up onto the bed and buried my head into my pillow, replaying last night in my mind. I knew I wouldn’t be able to shake it; and I didn’t want to. I wanted to hold onto that memory, that little piece of her that was mine. And I would never let it go.