Settle Down

It has been seven months; seven whole months since I last saw Liv, and it was killing me. I thought about her all the time. I couldn’t get the image of her looking at me that last time, her eyes red and puffy from crying, before she dashed away. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes for a moment, before getting into the long checkout line. I was in a part of Toronto I had never been in before, and was grabbing some crisps before going off to meet the boys. As I thought about her eyes, I ran a hand through my newly brunette locks, messing them up slightly. I then looked down at the crisps in my hand, realizing that I had grabbed the wrong ones. I sighed, muttering to myself before slipping out of line and down into the crisp aisle.

Just as I was bending over to grab the Barbeque crisps I heard an all-too-familiar laugh. I immediately froze, still crouched over like a deer in the headlights. Her laugh was like music to my ears, it was so light, twinkly and carefree.

Without moving my head, I peered down the aisle, where a very pregnant Olivia was standing, laughing with a friend.

“Liv?” I stuttered, standing up and forgetting about the crisps. Her body tensed up at the sound of her name being called. She turned very slowly and looked over at me, her eyes wide.
“Wh-what are you doing here?” She swallowed, her face turning white.

“I was coming back from a meeting! Oh, gosh, I can’t believe its you!” I grinned, walking over to the pair. She didn’t move an inch as I walked over, and she leaned away slightly as I approached.

“Who- what? When did you?” I asked, all my excitement sucking away as I motioned grimly to her swollen abdomen.

“Eliza, could you please excuse us for a minute?” She choked out, shooting her friend a silent ‘I'm ok’ before her friend, Eliza, slowly walked away, giving me one of the most deadly looks I’ve ever gotten in my life.

“So, you’re seeing someone?” I frowned, swallowing a lump in my throat.

“We need to talk.” She faltered, looking as if she could burst into tears at any moment. She took my arm gently, leading me out of the grocery store and into the hallway, finding a small, secluded section of the parking lot.

As she lead me outside I studied her face carefully. The bags under her eyes were prominent, and her freckles were out full-force. She looked more tired than I had ever seen her, and she seemed to have lost her happy, buzzing energy.

“Niall-“ She started, twisting her hands around each other. “Oh, god. This is so much harder than I thought.” She whispered, looking down at the ground.

“Your hair’s brown.” She said with a trace of a smile, bringing her hand up to my head and running her fingers through my quiff.
I grinned in response, anxious to hear what she was so scared of telling me.

“Its yours.” She whispered, her voice so quiet I barely caught what she was saying.

“Wh-what?”

“Its yours, the baby is yours.” She spoke louder this time, regaining some of her confidence.

I closed my eyes, taking in the information she had just told me before sinking to the ground. I couldn’t help it; I just sank, resting my back against the cool wall behind me. “Nialler, please, please don’t cry. If you cry I’ll cry.” She choked, as tears threatened to fall.
I opened my mouth to speak, although only a choked sob came out. I looked over at Olivia, who had tears running down her face.

“I’m such a terrible person.” She whispered to herself
“Olivia, your no-“
“YES, yes, I am. I should have told you Niall. I shouldn’t have kept it from you.” She closed her eyes, her head resting on my shoulder.

I looked up and noticed a few people staring, or shooting glances down as they walked by.

“Let’s go to my place, we can have some peace and quiet there.” She murmured, wiping her eyes with the heel of her hand. We stood up in unison, both putting hoods up to conceal our faces as I took her hand and led her towards my car.

“You don’t have your car here with you, do you?” I asked as we made our way to my land rover.
“No, I took the bus.” She replied weakly.

As we got to the black car, I opened the door for her, watching as she slowly got in. I ran around the front of the car to the driver’s side and hopped in, slamming the door shut behind me.

“I’m staying with a friend. I’ll show you how to get there.” She sighed, buckling up her seatbelt.

“Why did you move?”

“I had to sell the apartment. I need all the money I can get. Plus, runway modeling doesn’t exactly work when you’re pregnant.”

“You- sold the apartment?”

“And everything I own.” She laughed pitifully “Luckily my friend said I could stay with her while I get back up on my feet.”

We drove in silence as I processed all the information in my head. She was broke? And it was because of me? The thought of that made me want to scream. Someone as lovely as her shouldn’t have to go through all this nonsense.

“Here it is.” She said, pointing to a large annex home. She hopped out of the car and made her way up the path. I followed close behind, looking around to try to understand where I was.

I watched as she dug around in the planter sitting on the porch. With an ‘aha’ She pulled a key out of it, brushing off all the dust. She then opened the door, tossing the key back into the planter.
“Lili?” She called out as we walked in. I closed the door behind me with a thud, earning a smile from Olivia.

“Let’s sit in the kitchen.” She walked down a short hall, before we ended up in a medium-sized modern kitchen. She sank down into a chair, motioning for me to do the same. I shyly pulled up a seat to the small two-person table that sat off to the side of the kitchen.

“So.” Liv started, tapping her fingers on the table nervously.
“How long are you staying here?” I asked.
“Um, I honestly have no idea. When I get enough money to move out. Buy a home for us.” She stopped tapping her fingers, and stretched out in the chair. My eyes lit up at the mention of ‘us’ before realizing she meant her and the baby, and not her and I.

“Liv, come stay at my place. I can help you. Please. I want to help. Please let me.” I begged, my bottom lip quivering.

“Niall, I will not be a burden. I can’t.”

“You are not a burden, and you will never be a burden. Please don’t think of yourself like that.”

“Niall, I can’t just freeload. There must be something I can do for you.” She retorted.

“Ok, to repay me for staying with me, come with me to Ireland.” I answered after a long silence.

“What?” She gasped, her eyebrows furrowed.

“Come with me to Ireland. I can’t just visit my mum in six months with a baby. How would I explain that? We can just say we wanted to announce it in person, and not over the phone.” I explained, regaining some lost confidence.

“Is that what you really want Niall? If it is, or course I will do it for you.”

“Yes, please. It is. Really.” I said. I couldn’t be happier. The girl of my dreams was moving in with me, and would be having my baby. I was ecstatic, over the moon. But I still put on a solemn face to play the part.

“Let’s go pack your stuff.” I said, standing up.

“What?”

“Lets go pack! C’mon, we’ll leave tomorrow.”

“But Niall-“

“No buts, now, come on. Lets go pack up.” I said, offering her a hand. She gratefully took it, smiling for the first time that day as she led me upstairs to her room.

“Everything is pretty much already packed up, Its been sitting here for months, and I haven’t even touched anything. The only real things I own that fit right now are four maternity outfits.” She explained, stuffing her small belongings into a backpack.

“Here it is all packed up!” She grinned, holding up a black backpack. I took it, slinging it over my shoulder as I tried to suppress the huge smile that was creeping up onto my face.

“Eliza? Hey. I'm going to Ireland. Yeah. I can’t explain, but I will when I get home. Love you too. Bye.” She quickly called her friend, turning off the house light before spinning around to face me.

“Lets go.”