Give Them Blood, Blood, Gallons of the Stuff

~Frank's POV~

My fingers brushed the page written last night. Oh god, what was i going to find. I stared at it for a long time. What did Gee mean? I knew he was depressed, but what was this all about?

"Singing songs that make you slit your wrists
It isn't that much fun, staring down a loaded gun
So I won't stop dying, won't stop lying (are you there at all?)
If you want I'll keep on crying (do you care at all?)
Did you get what you deserve? (are you there at all?)
Is this what you always want me for?"

Gee? I thought, what the fuck is that supposed to mean? I care about you, Mikey cares, so does Ray, even your parents and the rest of your family. I never really understood his depression. I just wanted to help so badly.

"All the cameras watch the accidents and stars you hate
They only care if you can bleed
Does the television make you feel the pills you ate?
Or every person that you need to be

Cause you only live forever in the lights you make
When we were young we used to say
That you only hear the music when your heart begins to break
Now we are the kids from yesterday"

I just didn't get it. I need Gerard now, I love him so much and needed to help my baby. I flipped the page and screamed a blood curdling scream. I instantly threw the notebook onto the floor and fell onto Gerard's bed sobbing. I curled up in a ball and cried until there was no tears left, streaks of salty water stained my cheeks. I wheezed and it felt as if I couldn't breathe. How would you feel if your spouse had done this? What would you do? I grabbed Gerard's sweatshirt lying on his bed and shoved my face on it, sniffling and wiping away the wet tears. It smelled like him, I thought of us sleeping together, cuddling. I smiled for a split second but seeing the blood on my hands snapped me back to reality. I ran to the bathroom to wash my hands and face.

The blood ran done my fingers and dripped into the sink. It mixed with the water rocketing out of the faucet. Was it my blood you ask? No. It was Gerard's.

There was a lot of blood, how bad did Gee hurt himself? There was one small note on the page, it simply said, "School. xoxo g." Throughout all the crying i was able to interpret what Gerard had meant. He was in the high school and this was important. But why would he be there? Why at 4 a.m? Why now? Why did he leave this short message? What if no one found it?

I finally understood "singing songs that make you slit your wrists" and "they only care if you can bleed."

I needed to stop questioning myself and trust the man I love. Gerard's car WAS gone, how come I hadn't noticed that earlier? My assumptions must have been right. I jumped into my car and floored it. Heading straight for the high school.