Passenger Seat

For the first time in over a week I decided to check my twitter. I vaguely skimmed through my @replies, seeing so many people asking who I was and how I knew Niall. Though some just skipped right over that and were either sending me death threats, or simply telling me they ‘shipped’ us.

I then looked through the thousands of new followers I had. There were endless One Direction related screen names, it was mental. Then I noticed that all the boys followed me, as well as Little Mix, which I assumed was Perrie, as well as Danielle, Eleanor, and Dakota. I smiled as I followed all of them back. I also had a direct message from Dakota from a few days ago giving me her number, telling me to text her so we could hang out. I sent her a quick text before going over to check my tumblr.

It was still untouched thank god. It wasn’t linked to my facebook or tumble like Blue’s was, so there really was a slim chance I’d be found off my screen name. I got a bit curious though and searched my name in the tags.

There was post after post of people talking about me. Some were nasty, other’s telling everyone to shut up because Niall’s personal life wasn’t anyone business. Why couldn’t they all be like that? There were also thousands of different edits of the like, 5 pictures of Niall and I together, as well as some photoshopped made pictures of Niall and what I guessed were pictures of me taken off my and Blue’s twitter.

I also found a few blogs dedicated to me. That really threw me through a loop. Niall and I weren’t even public with our relationship (was it even a relationship?) and there was already so much hysteria. We’ve only been out in public like 5 times for Christ sake!

As I was scrolling along my tag some more Dakota called me, “Hey love, I’m so glad you texted me!”

She sounded so bubbly and cheerful it threw me for a second, “Uh yeah, what’s up?”

“What are you up too? Do you want to get lunch or something? So we can get to know each other more?”

Her cut-to-the-chase approach made me smile. For a second I was weirded out that she just wanted to hang out, but then I remembered how close everyone was when I met them. She was one of Niall’s best friends, she probably wanted to pull a Blue and make sure I was good enough for him. Plus I kind of wanted some advice on being tired to this boy band, “Yeah sure. What time?”

“How about in an hour? Do you want me to pick you up? I’m leaving campus so I can just swing by.”

“Sure, I’ll text you my address.”

“Awesome, can’t wait! I’ll see you soon.” We said out goodbyes and hung up.

I shut off my computer. Looking myself up was just a terrible idea.

I walked out of my room and into Blue’s where I found her at her vanity fixing her makeup while Max was lying on her bed, propped up against the wall watching her.

“Hey gurl!” he said in a joking tone.

I jumped on the bed next to him and he slung his arm around me, “What up.”

“I’m dragging your lovely friend to the studio with me.”

“Sounds like a blast,” I rolled my eyes at him.

“Jealous?” Blue asked, sticking her tongue at me through the mirror.

I scrunched my face up in reply, “Nope!”

“You can come too if you want,” Max offered.

I shook my head, “I’ve got plans. I’m going to lunch with Dakota.”

“Who’s that?”

“Is she a fellow One Direction girlfriend?” Blue asked, coming over and practically laying on top of her boyfriend.

“I’m not Niall’s girlfriend, and yes, she’s Harry’s bird.”

Max sent me a confused face, “I thought you were seeing Niall…”

“She is,” Blue sighed dramatically, “He just hasn’t put a title on it yet.”

“Men,” he scoffed jokingly.

“But seriously, when are you gonna make him commit?” Blue asked sitting up.

I shrugged looked away from her stare, “I don’t know. I don’t even know how to bring it up.”

“Like this,” Max sat up a little straighter, “Like, Niall am I your girlfriend?” He said in a voice I was guessing was supposed to me mine.

“I sound nothing like that.”

“Close enough,” he exclaimed.

“But really sweets, just bring it up. Like pulling off a bandaid,” my best friend said with a soft smile.

I nodded, “I will. I’ll get to it.”

“So where you going to lunch?” she asked changing the subject.

“I have no idea honestly. She just called and said she’d pick me up on the way home from class. “Probably a coffee house or something.”

“Take her to the sandwich shop down the street,” Max suggested, “now I’m hungry. Babe we should stop there on the way to the studio.”

Blue rolled her eyes at him and kissed his cheek, “Sure.” She turned back to me, “Have fun yeah? Getting to know another girl in the One Direction world could be good for you.”

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. I saw how nasty people are online today.”

She grimaced, “I know. I didn’t know how to tell you though.”

I sent her a smile, “It’s alright, I’d be in the same boat if I were you.”

“Don’t worry Ayd, preteens are assholes, period,” Max said placing a kiss on my cheek. “We should get going though babe.”

“Yeah,” she agreed. I walked with them out of her room, “Call me later, tell me all about it.”

“You coming back tonight?”

“Probably.”

“Have fun,” I kissed them both on the cheek before they headed out.

Once they were gone I made my way back to my room. I looked at myself in the mirror wondering if I should change. I didn’t know if paparazzi followed girlfriends or not and kind of didn’t want to look like crap. I took in my DBNO shirt and skinny jeans, “Oh fuck it,” I said out loud. Why was I worried about someone I didn’t know judging what I wore?

I scoffed at myself and ran a brush through my long wavy light brown hair, throwing it up in a ponytail. “This is as good as it’s gonna get,” I said smiling to myself.

*****

Dakota picked me up exactly an hour later. She was wearing a cute flowy skirt and tank top with a cardigan. Okay, so maybe I did feel a bit frumpy next to her. “Hey!” she cheered when I got in the car.

“Hi, you alright?”

“Good thanks, yourself?”

I shrugged, “Can’t complain. So where we going?”

“Do you like sushi? I’m in the mood for sushi.”

I nodded, “Yeah, sounds amazing actually.”

“Thank god! We’re going to get along famously,” she giggled.

Talking with Dakota was so easy. We spent most of the drive to the sushi place talking about her classes and the bakery, and music. She was so upbeat and happy about everything, she was so cute.

“So, how long have you and Harry been together?” I asked after we ordered our food.

She cocked her head in though, “Hmm, about a year. But we’ve been friends for a few years now. We met when he was on X-Factor.”

“You guys seem really happy. He’s a bit much when you first meet him though,” I laughed.

She rolled her eyes and chuckled, “That he is. And he’s a huge cheeky flirt!”

“I noticed!”

“You almost want to smack him sometimes,” she smiled, “But he’s an amazing person. Very loyal, like once he meets you, he pulls you in like he’s known you for years. All the boys are actually.”

I smiled at her words. You could really see on her face how much she did love Harry and everyone else. “You all are so close, like a little family.”

“We are. You’ll get used to it.”

I bit my lip taking in her words, “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

I cleared my throat, “What does… Has Niall…” I had no idea how to ask the question. I looked up and she was looking at me with a curious look. I sighed, “What I guess I’m trying to say is I have no idea what Niall and I are. If we’re boyfriend and girlfriend, or just friends with benefits,” I bit my lip, “I guess I want to ask you if he’s said anything?”

She gave me a soft smile, pausing as our food was brought to the table, “He hasn’t actually flat out called you his girlfriend around us, but we know you’re together.”

I nodded, assorting sushi rolls on my plate as a distraction. I was still so confused.

“Have you tried talking to him?” She asked after a moment.

I shrugged, “No. I have no idea how to bring it up.”

“I completely understand that. It’s awkward and intimidating,” she’s got that right! “But,” she continued, “You should try talking to him. The only one that will end this confusion for you is Niall.”

“That’s true,” I said before popping some fish in my mouth.

“The thing about Niall is he’s really selective about who he lets into his life. It’s why he hasn’t really dated much. He doesn’t trust so easily since he’s gotten famous.”

“I can understand that. Never know who’s in it for the right reasons.”

“Exactly. I’m sure he hasn’t brought it up because he’s just as intimidated about it as you.”

I shrugged, “Yeah, maybe.”

“You really like him don’t you?” She had a huge smile on her face.

“I… I think so,” My heart was beating so fast just thinking about my feelings for him.

She nodded, “I think he feels the same.”

We filled the rest of our lunch with small talk and we got to know each other a little more. She told me about how close the girlfriends were with each other since they were the only ones that could understand how stressful it could get. Especially with the fans.

“How do you deal with the fans?”

She sighed as we slid back into her car, “Honestly, the best advice I can give you on that is to just ignore them. Because no matter how nice you are to them, there will always be that huge group that will hate you. Fighting back never solves anything. Eleanor and Louis can attest for that.”

“They’ve fought with fans?” I asked surprised.

“Oh yeah,” she said pulling out of the carpark, “The fans are constantly disrespecting El because they think Harry and Louis are in an actual relationship. Perrie’s been harassed too.”

“This fanbase get’s more odd the more I hear about it,” I sighed.

She sent me a smirk, “Yeah I know. Sometimes when they go too far, Lou just snaps. It’s not pretty. El usually tells them to fuck off if they really get to her, but Louis will fight dirty, so will some of his friends.”

“Well then,” I laughed, “Remind me to never get on his bad side.”

She laughed too, “Yeah, he’s usually a big sweetie, but if you cross him, all bets are off.”

“Good to know.”

We pulled into my building, “Thanks for getting lunch. I had fun. I’m glad Niall’s found you.”

I blushed when she said that, “Thanks. You wanna come up and hang out some more?”

She lit up, “Sure! I’ve got some time to kill before I have to meet Haz.”

*****

Kota and I spent the next few hours painting our nails, going through my closet- which wasn’t that exciting if you ask me, and going through my iTunes library to make her an epic mix.

“Harry’s going to enjoy this mix too. He likes to think he’s musically deep, but he’s really not,” she laughed.

“At least he tries,” Blue said. She’d come home not too long after we got to the flat. She and Dakota were getting along famously too, “Faking it is half the battle.”

“She makes a good point,” I laughed.

Dakota checked her phone, “Ah speak of the devil. I should get going,” she pouted.

“Well, tell him I said hello.” We all stood up and exchanged hugs. I smiled seeing Blue and Dakota embracing each other. I was glad some of my ‘Niall life’ could blend with my regular life well.

“You should totally come over some night and we can all just chill,” Blue said as we walked Kota to the door.

“Definitely!” she exclaimed, “Maybe we can get the other girls to join us too.”

I beamed, “That would be so much fun!”

“I’ll text you, we’ll figure something out,” Dakota said before waving goodbye.

When the door closed Blue sent me a smile, “I like her. She’s… peppy, for lack of a better word. And her little pixie haircut is so adorable.”

I nodded, “She is something. You should see her and Louis in the same room, so much energy and sass.”

“Sounds entertaining and exhausting!” she laughed.

“Very much so.”

“So what are we doing for dinner?” She asked digging through our fridge.

*****

Niall called me right after I got out of the shower that night, “What are you doing?”

“Literally just got out of the shower,” I said toweling my hair off.

“So you’re naked?” he laughed.

I smirked, “No, I like to shower in my clothes. Saves on laundry.”

“Ah makes sense,” I could hear his smile through the phone, “What are you doing? After you towel off I mean.”

I rolled my eyes at his comment, “Um, I don’t know.”

“Come over. I miss you.”

Why does he think it’s okay to say things like that? My heart can’t take it, “Okay. Give me like 20 minutes.”

“Huuuuurry,” he whined.

I laughed, “I’m hanging up now.”

“Boo,” I heard before I hung up.

I dressed quickly in some jeans and a random shirt, and then blow dried my hair enough to manage.

“Hey, I’m going out,” I said quickly into Blue’s room.

“Tell Sir Niall I said hello.”

I rolled my eyes, “I will!”

*****

Niall practically dragged me into his flat by his lips. I don’t even think I actually knocked before his door flew open and his lips were on mine.

“Hi,” I said once he pulled away.

He placed another kiss on my lips as he closed the door, “I missed you,” he kissed the corner of my mouth.

“You saw me the other day,” I laughed.

“Not enough,” He kissed me quickly again before he led me into the living room. When he sat on the couch, he pulled me into his lap, “How was it hanging out with Dakota all day?”

“How’d you know about that?” I asked as I wrapped an arm around his neck, running my fingers through the back of his hair.

His eyes drooped in pleasure as I did so, “She tweeted about it.”

I giggled, “She’s so cute.”

He leaned over and kissed my neck, “So are you.” Queue the butterflies in my stomach. He started kissing up and down my neck, hitting all the right places. He’s pretty much mapped out all of them at this point.

I tried to enjoy it, but all I could think about were Max, Blue and Dakota’s words about just asking him what we were. I needed to do it, and before his lips got any lower, “Niall,” I said… well it came out more like a moan.

“Hmm?” he mumbled against my skin, not bothering to stop his assault.

“Can I ask you something?” I pulled away from him a bit so I could look at him.

He brushed some hair out of my face, “What’s up?”

“I…” Oh god, I was losing my cool before I even got a full word out. “I uh, what…” Shit, here goes nothing, “What are we?”

He looked away from me then. Well fuck. “We’re friends.”

And there it was. Friends. I scooted of his lap, “Niall, what are we doing?” I sighed.

He glanced at me quickly before looking away again, “We’re hanging out. We’re having fun. We’re young adults, what more is expected of us?”

The hell does that mean? I bit my bottom lip, “What-”

He cut me off, “Look, I’m leaving for tour, I can’t commit right now.”

And there it was again, like a stab in the chest really. I felt hurt, but mostly at myself for thinking he could be different. “Right,” I nodded. “Yeah, I gotta go.”

“Wait, let me explain,” he grabbed my wrist stopping me, “I don’t want to get into a relationship just to leave you.”

I scoffed, “You’re not leaving for tour for 6 months Niall! What am I supposed to do? Put out for 6 months so you can go off to America guilt free to hook up, while I wait around for a year?”

“What?” he exclaimed, “No, that’s not it.”

“I already did this… friends with benefits crap with Josh, and it sucked. I didn’t want this, it’s why I’m not with him.”

He scoffed, “That the only reason you aren’t with him?” he glared.

“No, it’s because I have feelings for you! But I’m not going to sit here and be used. I’m not letting another person do that to me!” I pulled my hand out of his grasp, “I like you. I really like you. But not enough to put myself through this again,” I headed for the door. He called after me but I ignored him.