Passenger Seat

“Are you still texting with Niall?” Blue exclaimed. We were in the bathroom getting ready for the Bring Me The Horizon concert tonight. I was done, so I was sitting on the toilet as she did her hair, texting. “You’ve been texting all day.”

I shrugged, not looking up from my phone, “So? We’re having a good conversation.” It’s been a week since I’ve hung out with Niall. I’ve seen him once since, at the bakery, but that was it. We’ve resorted to texting a lot. We’ve talked about everything- from his days full of interviews, to what new music I had found this week.

“Mhm.”

I set my phone on the counter, “Are you ever going to let this go?”

“Nope. Not when I can see the chemistry. Just waiting for you to.”

I shook my head, “Even if I liked him like that, which I don’t, it wouldn’t happen.”

“Yeah, sure. And why is that?”

I shrugged, “The world watches his every move? I don’t know, he’s never home for very long? It’s why Josh and I never continued… whatever we were. I don’t need that.” I stood up and started fixing my eye makeup. I kept it simple, like I always do when I go see a band. Jeans, tank top and just some simple eyeliner and mascara.

Blue ran her hands through her hair, “I get what you’re saying, but come on. Max is gone a lot, and we make it work. At least admit the boy is attractive.”

“Well I never said I didn’t think he was fit. He’s adorable. And his accent kills me,” Blue was giving me a knowing look through the mirror. I just rolled my eyes, and made my way out of the bathroom.

“I’m just saying,” She called after me, “If a guy is texting you all day every day, it’s saying something.”

“Yeah, that we’re friends.”

She walked into my room and shrugged, “Whatever you say. You ready?”

I shoved my keys and phone into the pocket of my jeans, “Yeah, let’s go.”

As I slid into the car, Blue behind the wheel, my phone got a text.

From: Niall
Never been to a concert of a hardcore band. Have fun tonight!

To: Niall
Maybe I can take you sometime, they’re a lot of fun. Especially from the crowd.

From: Niall
I bet the crowd gets mental. Dunno if I can handle it, but it could be fun.

To: Niall
It’s settled, next time, you’ll come with.

“Are you going to text your friend all night?” Blue smirked.

I stuck my tongue at her. After that, I shoved my phone back in my pocket for the night.

“So Niall aside, what’s up with you and Josh? Cause I think he’s going to be there tonight,” She said off handedly.

What to say about me and Josh? We were friends. We has a thing for a little bit about a year ago, but that’s over. We’ve hooked up a few times since, but it was nothing… well not really. I shrugged, focusing on the street fly by my window, “I figured he’d be there. He is friends with the band and all.”

“Just thought I’d give you a heads up, in case you weren’t okay with it…” I knew what she was hinting at by trailing off.

I shrugged, “Josh and I are friends. I don’t mind being around him, you know that.”

“Yes, but as best friend, it’s my job to make sure,” she said squeezing my thigh for a moment.

I smiled, “And I thank you. But I’m fine. I actually don’t mind, gives me someone to hang out with while you’re playing photographer.”

“And someone to make out with,” she fake coughed.

I chuckled, “Not likely.”

“Why? Because of Niall?” She perked up.

I loved Blue, but sometimes I wanted to smack her. Like now, “No, not because of Niall. Because I don’t want to continue playing yo-yo with him.”

When we got to the venue, we walked straight past the long line to the ticket booth where our passes were waiting for us.

“Tom told me to head to the backdoor and my names on the list,” Blue said when she caught my questioning look as she steered me behind the building. I just nodded. I had tagged along with her to concerts where she was shooting before, but never at this venue, so it was all new to me.

I guy at the door let us in with no problem, and we were shown the way to BMTH’s dressing room.

When we walked in, the room was somewhat packed. The band was there, as well as what I assumed were friends and girlfriends. Band members paraded around half naked, getting ready for the show, littering the couches and eating from the table of food.

Blue grabbed my arm, “Tom’s over there, come on.” When we reached him she got into professional mode. “Tom? Hi, I’m Blue, we’ve talked on the phone and been texting all week.”

“Yes, ‘ello! How are you?” He asked pulling her into a hug.

“Good thanks,” she said pulling away, “This is my friend Ayden.”

Tom turned to me and pulled me into a hug as well, “’ello love.”

As Tom and Blue discussed what was to come tonight, he slowly introduced us to the rest of the band as they wondered over or walked by. We had met Matt Nicholls once before of one of Josh’s parties, but I don’t think he recognized us. To be fair, he was completely trashed at that party.

“Oli should be around soon. Probably off to find his bird Amanda,” Tom said once we had met the rest of the band.

As Blue and Tom started to compare their camera equipment, I felt arms snake around my middle, “Hello gorgeous,” said a very familiar voice.

I angled my head around to catch a glimpse of Josh’s face resting on my shoulder, “Hey there,” I smiled.

“You lot know Josh?” Tom asked.

“Yeah,” Blue answered, “Max is actually my boyfriend.”

“Oh, no shit?” he said shocked, “Small world! I’m surprised we haven’t met before, yeah?”

Josh dethatched himself from me and greeted Tom in a man hug, then nodded and slapped hands with the rest of the band, and a few people around the room.

But then he was at my side again, “What brings you here?”

I nodded to Tom and Blue who were deep in conversation again, “Tom wants Blue to take picture with him.”

“Oh yeah, Max mentioned that. Bloody brilliant for her. Although if she let us help, this could have happened sooner.”

I nodded, “Yeah, but you know how she is. Wants to do it on her own.” Max is always begging Blue to let him show her pictures off to his friends and connections but she always shuts him down. Wanted to get noticed for her talent alone, rather than who she’s dating. “So how have you been?” I asked, changing the subject, “How was tour?”

He threw his arm over my shoulder, “It was good. Shows were mental, and the fans were amazing.”

I smiled, “Sounds epic. Sorry I couldn’t make one of the shows this time.”

He fake glared at me, “You should be. It was a great lineup.” You Me At Six just got off a tour around the UK with Pierce The Veil and A Day To Remember. He was right, it was a great lineup, but I couldn’t get the time off to go see them because I had to work on the one London date they had.

“Next time, I’ll be there,” I promised.

He kissed my cheek, “That’s my girl.”

“Oi, Oli!” Tom shouted, “Come meet Blue and Ayden.”

I turned to see the lead singer walking over to us, with a beautiful girl, who I knew was Amanda, on his arm.

Oli walked up and shook hands with Blue, introducing himself and Amanda, “I hear you’re an amazing photographer.”

She shrugged, being modest, “I’m alright.”

“She’s amazing,” I cut in, causing Oli, Amanda and Tom to laugh, and Blue stuck her tongue out at me.

Oli stuck his hand out to me, “Hey, I’m Oli.” As we shook hands he looked between Josh and I, “Wait, I think we’ve met before. At a party at Josh’s, yeah?”

I nodded, “Yeah, last year.”

“Yeah, I knew you guys looked familiar. You’re dating Max, yeah?” He asked Blue.

“Yep, that’s me,” she laughed.

Oli and Josh shared a man hug then, and Amanda turned to me, “I’m Amanda by the way.”

“Yes, hi,” I shook her hand, “You’re beautiful by the way. Your Drop Dead shoots are my favorite.”

A massive smile spread across her face, “Thank you love. You’re amazingly beautiful as well.”

“That’s what I keep telling her,” Blue interjected, “But she refuses to let me photograph her.”

I rolled my eyes at her, “Shut it.”

Some guy with a headset walked up to Tom then, “Architects are about to start, Tommy.”

Tom nodded and turned to Blue, “You ready to get started?”

“Hell yeah!” she turned to me, “I’ll see you after the show babe. Have fun.”

“You too,” I called after her as she ran out with Tom.

Josh, who’s arm was back around my shoulders, pulled me in closer to get my attention, “Wanna watch from the crowd?”

“Yes!”

He laughed, “Come on then.”

I turned to Oli and Amanda, “It was nice meeting you, well again to you,” I said to Oli.

“You too love,” he said.

Amanda touched my arm, “Come back side stage when they go on, and we can watch together.”
“Sure,” I smiled.

As Josh and I weaved our way through the crowd, he was stopped a few times by fans. I was used to this by now. Hanging out with Max and Josh and the rest of the band, you were bound to run into at least one YMA6 fan in this city. A fleeting thought of how this must be 1000 times worse for Niall crossed my mind.

“You’ve seen the Architects before right,” Joshed said against my ear as we made it to the middle of the crowd.

I nodded, looking towards the stage, “Yeah, once. They’re amazing.”

I felt him put his hand on my waist, “I know this may be a stupid question, but you can handle their crowd right?”

I smiled over at him, “Yeah. Don’t worry.”

When the lights dimmed, the crowd went crazy with cheers.

*****

“That was so awesome,” I said as we walked out of the crowd.

“The crowd went completely mental on the last song,” Josh said laughing.

I nodded, “Yeah, but you know you didn’t have to protect me,” I nudged my shoulder into his, “I could have handled it. A few times during the set, if someone got to rough near me, he’d either block them by putting himself between me and them, or pull me further away. It was a nice gesture, but unnecessary.

He shrugged and sent me a smirk, “I didn’t want to chance it.” I just rolled my eyes and chuckled.

We walked backstage at the same time Blue and Tom came back, “How was it?” I asked.

“Great,” she said happily, “I think I got some great shots! We just came back to change out memory cards and stuff.” She started going through her camera bag, “How was it for you? You guys go in the crowd?”

“Yeah, and Josh here though he had to protect me,” I shot him a cheeky grin.

He rolled his eyes, “I’m sorry if I wanted to be a gentleman, won’t happen again.”

I laughed and wrapped an arm around his waist, “Good.”

Blue looked between Josh and me with an unreadable expression on her face, “Right… You guys going back out there for BMTH?”

“No,” I shook my head, “I was gonna watch side stage with Amanda.”

“Probably best, so Josh doesn’t have to fight the need to be your knight in shining armor, yeah?”

Josh scoffed, “Birds,” he mumbled. Oli called him over then to what I guessed was the annual band huddle, “Be right back.”

I hardly nodded at him before I turned back to Blue, who was staring right at me, “What?”

She rolled her eyes, “What’s going on there?”

I looked back over at Josh who was now surrounded by the band, “I don’t know, nothing?”

“Please,” she scoffed, “He’s all over you. He hasn’t been that obvious about it in a while.”

She was right, “I know, but I was trying to ignore it. I don’t know what’s up with him.”

She nodded stiffly before checking to make sure her camera was ready, “Well Josh or Niall,” she ignored my eye roll, “Just be careful, yeah?”

I sighed dramatically, “Yes mother.”

“I’ll see you after the show,” she said before heading back out.

I stood there after she left and watched the band huddle. They were chanting and clapping each other on the back- it was a hilarious sight.

Amanda skipped over to me, “Hey, come side stage with me!” I smiled, and linked arms with her, letting her pull me to where the stage opened up.

The band filled in the space behind us, jumping and getting pumped. Oli came over to Amanda and pulled her into a pretty steamy kiss.

When the lights dimmed, the crowed went insane, and Oli and Amanda dethatched, “Wish us luck ladies!” He squeezed my arm, and then he and the rest of the band took off onstage, causing the crowd to get even louder. I looked down between the stage and the barricade, and instantly found Blue, already at work taking pictures. Tom was a few feet away from her doing the same.

Josh came up behind me then and slung one of his arms over my shoulder, to hang lazily over my chest.

I somewhat leaned back into him as the first song “Chelsea Smile” kicked off. Josh and I were always this touchy, so I wasn’t trying to read too much into it. That, and I really didn’t want it to mean anything. I was done hooking up with him, and we had discussed that the last time it happened.

I soon forgot about worrying about if Josh was trying to get some or not, and just lost myself in the performance. I’ve seen Bring Me Horizon a handful of times, but never from the side of the stage. In fact the only times I’ve ever been side stage for a show was if You Me At Six was playing.

But BMTH is definitely a show to see. Even if you don’t like hard music like this, they put on one hell of a performance, and just completely throw themselves into it. Oli is always jumping around, interacting with the crowd, Jona, Lee and Matt Kean throwing their guitars and bass around- it was amazing.

About halfway through the set though, I was pulled out of my zone by Josh. He wrapped his other arm wound my waist, pulling me back against him more. I saw Amanda smirk at us from the corner of her eye as she watched her boyfriend give it his all on stage.

Meanwhile, I was standing here frozen, unsure of how to handle this situation without being rude. My back was completely against Josh’s chest now, and as nice as it was, I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. I decided ignoring it was the best option at this point, and went back to watching the show.

“This next song,” Oli said in-between songs, “I’m gonna have to ask one of my best friends to come out here and sing it with me.”

Josh started to unwrap himself from me then, and I knew what song Oli was talking about in that moment.

“This song is called ‘Fuck!’” Oli yelled. The crowd erupted as he launched into the opening lyrics.

A roadie walked over, handing Josh a mic. Then, right in front of anyone that could see us, he grabbed my face between his hands and planted one on me. I was so shocked he’d do that that I didn’t push him away.

The kiss was quick though, and as soon as he pulled away he ran out onto the stage to sing his parts.
I was stunned. He hasn’t been that affectionate in public since we were a ‘thing’ a year ago. Usually it was just a ‘behind closed doors’ thing.

Amanda was staring at me with a huge smile on her face, “I didn’t know you two were that close,” she yelled into my ear.

“Neither did I,” I yelled back. At least not anymore, I thought to myself.

*****

After Josh finished his song with the band, he came back and just stood next to me this time. I may have been a bit awkward, but I didn’t know how to react really. Especially not in the middle of a concert.

After the last song, and the encore, we all went back to the dressing room, where I told the guys how awesome the show was.

“Glad you enjoyed it, babe,” Oli said kissing my cheek, “You’ll have to come to another. I think Amanda liked having company side stage.

“Definitely did,” she laughed.

I shrugged, “Yeah, I’d love to come to another.”

Tom and Blue walked in then, “Hey, fantastic show guys!” she cheered. She bumped her hip into mine, “How was the show from side stage girlie?”

“Fun! How are the pictures?”

She started stuffing her camera in her bag, “I think I took way too many, but I think I got some unbelievable ones!”

“Hey,” Josh said against my ear, his hands were instantly on my hips.

Blue looked between us. She gave me a confused look before. “I’m going to talk to Tom…” she said gesturing across the room, “about shooting for the clothing line. I’ll be back.” She was never good at being subtle.

I turned and stepped out of his grasp, “Hey. You were good up there too,” I smiled.

“Thanks,” he reached for my hand, “So, you wanna come back with me to mine?”

I bit my lip, “Josh, we’ve talked about this,” I said softly, so no one else could hear our conversation.

He sighed, “I know. I just think… that maybe, we can work something out.”

I couldn’t think about this. Not now, when we were in a room full of people, and he was being sweet and adorable. I didn’t want this… well not up until tonight anyway. And I wasn’t exactly sure what he was asking.

I let go of his hand, “Maybe we can talk about this, but not right now. Not tonight.”

He nodded, “That’s fine. I just want you to know, it’s on the table, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I nodded.

He pulled me into a hug, “I’ll see you soon.” He kissed my cheek when we pulled apart. “Call me, okay?”

“I will.”

As soon as he was a walking away from me, Blue was back at my side, “Oh, you have so much to tell me.”

*****

“So you and Josh kissed?” Blue asked as we were driving home.

“Technically he kissed me.”

“Details,” she scoffed, “But he did it in front of everyone?” I nodded, “That’s big.”

I shrugged, “I guess. But I don’t think that’s what I want anymore. If feels like going back 10 spaces you know?”

“Yeah,” she agreed, “Why go back to Josh when you have a completely fit, blonde haired, blue eyed Irishman at your fingertips.”

“I knew you were going to go there,” I sighed. I pulled my phone out, to check it for the first time since we got to the show. I had a few random texts, but I stopped at the one from Niall from when we were testing.

From Niall:
Sounds fun. We’ll see

He said referring to my text about bringing him with me next time.

To: Niall:
You missed out. It was mental.

“Texting Niall again?”

“Yeah. I want to take him to the next show we go too.”

She glanced at me as we pulled into our buildings lot, “As fun as that sounds, you remember he’s a massively famous boy band member right?”

I shrugged, “We’ll figure it out I’m sure. Just cause he’s famous doesn’t mean he can’t have a life.”

She hummed, “If he can pull that off, it would be fun for you guys.” We walked into our flat, “I’m going to upload my pictures and start editing.”

“Cool,” I said checking my texts, I had one from Niall waiting, “I’m probably going to take a drive. Clear my head.”

“Alright, and as always, be careful!” I smirked at her motherly warning as I walked into my room.

From Niall:
I bet it was. I bet you’re knackered.

To Niall:
Not really. I’m thinking of going for a drive.

From Niall:
At this time of night?

To Niall:
Yeah. I do it a lot actually.

I left my phone on my bed then and changed out of my concert clothes. I threw on some yoga pants and a plain white t-shirt. I was putting my shoes back on when my phone buzzed.

From Niall:
Really? Where you going?

To Niall
Nowhere really. Just around

From Niall:
…Can I come?

For probably the 4th time that night, someone shocked me again. Even when I had told josh about my nightly drives he never cared to ask to come. He just said I was mental, and should learn to sleep at normal hours. In fact, the only person that’s ever asked to come was Blue.

I stared at his text for a moment, trying to decide what I wanted. Did I want to share my nights with someone other than myself? I knew if I told Blue this, she’s feed me some crap about how this was yet another sign.

I sighed as I hit reply. Fuck it.

To Niall:
Can you be ready in 15 minutes?

From Niall
Sure thing

And he sent me his address.

This should be interesting.

*****

“So I brought food,” was the first thing he said when he jumped into my car.

I laughed, “Why?”

“Well I don’t know where we’re going, and how long we’re going to be gone! Nothing’s open this late, so I brought a bag of crisps. If you’re lucky, I may even share,” he smirked.

I rolled my eyes and started driving, “Well I’m glad you’re prepared, I guess.”

“So what are we listening too?”

“We Are The In Crowd,” I replied.

“They have two singers?” He asked after a moment of listening.

I nodded as I pulled onto the highway, “Yeah. Tay Jardine is the lead singer, and Jordan does backing and guitar.”

“Cool. I like it. This chorus is catchy,” he said as Rumor Mill continued.

“Yeah. They’re a bit angst, but what do I listen to that isn’t?” I laughed.

He laughed along with me, “Yeah, I was going to point that out if you didn’t. You should make me another mix.”

“I can probably talk myself into doing that.”

We drove for a while. Jumping on different highways, and driving down backstreets, all the while talking about everything. It didn’t take him long to open and eat all of his crisps.

He even made fun of me a bit when his band came on shuffle. “I like how sexual this album is,” I shot at him to try and get him back for mocking.

“So does everyone, I heard.”

“I didn’t think ‘Take Me Home’ was going to be so literal.”

He barked out a laugh, “I don’t think anyone did until all the songs were finished.”

I pulled off the road, on the way to my cliff overlooking the city. “Where we headed now?” he asked.

“There’s this lookout point a little ways down the road. I go to it a lot after I get tired of driving. It has a killer view.”

“Are we going to make out, or are you going to murder me?” He asked cheekily.

I smacked his arm playfully, “You should be so lucky.”

Right after I said that I turned and parked in my usual spot, “Whoa,” he said looking out over the city, “This is a mental view Ayden.”

“Told you.” We sat in silence for a few songs, just looking out at the city below us. It wasn’t an awkward silence either, comfortable. Familiar almost.

“So you going to fill me in on this concert?”

I smirked at him, “It was loud, the crowd was wild, and I loved every minute of it.”

He chuckled, “Sounds similar to one of our concerts.”

I nodded, “Yeah, I’d imagine, but no seats in the crowd. And moshing. And a lot of screaming, mostly from the performers themselves,” I laughed.

“Yeah, maybe a bit different.”

“Only a tiny bit.”

He smirked and nodded, “Be cool to go to one. But I don’t know if I could sneak in without causing a scene you know? I can’t just stand in a crowd anymore.”

I shrugged, “Depending on what one we go too, we could be backstage.”

“Really?”

I nodded, “Yeah. My friends are in You Me At Six. They have a concert here in a few weeks.” Hopefully things with Josh aren’t awkward at that point.

“I actually know who you’re talking about. They’ve been on Nick Grimshaw’s show a few times.”

“Yeah,” I smiled, “You can come to that with me if you want. Properly meet Blue, and some of my other friends.”

“You sure though? It could get hectic, being seen in public with me I mean.”

I knew what he was getting at. I may not seek out celebrity stories, but that didn’t mean I didn’t see it on magazines at the grocery store, or on the internet here and there, “Well, real friends hang out other times aside from late nights at flats right?” I laughed, “I’ll have to get used to the paparazzi at some point or other if you want to continue to be friends.”

He nodded, “I know this is kind of an awkward topic, but it’s something I have to run by people now, you know?”

“I get it,” I assured, “And as much as I don’t want my picture taken, I’ll put up with it to hang out with you.” I paused and thought about what his life must be like, “Let’s just keep the public outings to a minimum.”

He barked out a laugh, “I usually try too, so that’s not a problem, love.”