Picking Up the Pieces

Sunday morning came all too fast, and even though it felt like I had slept for only two minutes, I was awoken around eleven by Vic.

“Come on, get up. We’re in South Dakota, we’re gonna get out and get some fresh air,” he said, shaking my shoulders.

I pushed him off of me and sat up in my bunk. “Alright, fine. Let me get ready.”

“We’ll be waiting,” he told me, standing up and leaving.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and grabbed some clean clothes from my suitcase under my bed, along with my makeup bag. I rolled lazily out of my bunk and walked the couple steps to the bathroom, which was thankfully empty.

Once I shut the door, I pulled yesterday’s jeans off and replaced them with a clean, black pair of jeans, as well as clean undies. Then I pulled Tony’s hoodie over my head and took off the tank top underneath and put on a random band shirt. I put fresh deodorant on, then put the hoodie on again. I quickly brushed my teeth and put a black Key Street beanie on top of my head to hide my greasy hair. After telling myself that I couldn’t hide in there forever, I left the bathroom and tossed my dirty clothes onto my bunk.

Outside, the boys stood in various bunches, some talking amongst each other, some playing on their phones. Mike and Casey were smoking god knows what while leaning up against the bus.

“Her majesty has arrived!” Jaime announced. “We can leave now!”

I rolled my eyes at him. “Where exactly are we going?” I asked, looking around. We were in the middle of nowhere, pulled over beside a dirt road. Beyond the bus stretched a field of grass and wildflowers, then a forest started. It wasn’t raining like it was yesterday, but it still looked quite gloomy. This looked like a scene out of Twilight or something.

“Exploring!” Luke yelled, fist pumping. I groaned and made a disappointed face. “Come on! It’ll be fun!!” He said, poking me in various places.

“Whatever,” I said, rolling my eyes. Luke took my hand and all of us scattered throughout the field. After making sure I wouldn’t run away, he dropped my hand and twirled around like a girl in a tampon commercial.

I shook my head at him and continued to the forest. I guess a little stroll would give me time to think. I walked between the trees, hands in my pockets. It had been a while since I had taken time to just...breathe. It was nice. Peaceful. There wasn’t any hustle and bustle like there was in San Diego, or on the bus. The only noises were the wind in the trees, and the crunching of leaves and twigs beneath my feet.

Pretty soon, the forest ended, and revealed a small meadow. The ground was entirely covered in grass and flowers, and a small creek ran through the middle. One lone tree stood next to the creek, not quite in the center, but not quite with the rest of them.

I walked into the clearing, taking a seat a few feet away from the creek and lying down in the flowers. Now I really felt like I was in Twilight. I shut my eyes and breathed deeply, feeling totally at peace.

I lied there silently for what seemed like hours before I heard the signature sound of crunching leaves and snapping twigs; a person was approaching.

I stayed where I was, not even opening my eyes, as whoever it was walked closer and closer to me before lying down beside me and sighing wistfully.

I opened my eyes and looked over to see who had joined me.

Tony lay there, looking right back at me. He had a small smile on his face. “Hi,” he said quietly.

I turned my head back and returned my gaze to the cloudy sky. “Hi.”

“I brought you these,” he said, turning to look at me and reaching his arm across his chest to hand me something. I looked over at him again and saw that it was a small bouquet of wildflowers, purple, yellow and white. I took it from him, trying my best not to touch him, then looked up again.

“Thanks. They’re pretty.”

“Not as pretty as you,” he replied without missing a bit.

I peered over at him, then looked back at the sky wordlessly.

We didn’t say anything for a while.

He took my hand after a couple minutes of silence and interlaced our fingers together through the flowers. “You know, your little plan worked. I couldn’t stand seeing you with Luke.”

I gulped and ran my free hand over my face in shame and embarrassment. “It was his idea,” was all I could say.

“I figured,” he answered. “Listen, while we’re on the subject...uh...” he trailed off.

“What?” I asked quietly, looking him in the eyes.

He sat up, propping himself up on his tattooed elbows. I did the same. “What?” I repeated.

He looked at me with those big brown eyes, biting his lip nervously. “I....um....” he began, but stopped when he was interrupted by the clouds opening up, letting the rain fall.

We both stood up, pulling our hoods over our heads. I bent down to pick up the flowers he had given me. “Get on with it Tony,” I almost yelled over the rain, which fell harder with each passing second.

He took a step forward, closing the space between us. He cupped my face gently with his wet hands, forcing me to look up at him. “Listen, Zoe....I really fucking like you,” he said.

“And?” I asked, getting frustrated. Come on, Tony. Spit it out.

He leaned in closer to my face, the brim of his hood touching mine, sealing us off from the world. “Be my girlfriend,” he whispered, before joining our lips in a wet, gentle kiss.

I nodded breathlessly, unable to speak, and not really wanting to. My hands found their way around his neck, holding him close. In that moment it was just him, me and the rain. It felt like a scene out of a movie; unreal.

He pulled back after a couple seconds, smiling from ear to ear. I couldn’t help but laugh and smile back at him. I wrapped my arms around him once again, shivering. He hugged me back with his face in my neck.

“We should head back,” he said. “Don’t want you to catch cold.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, dropping my arms and taking his hand in mine. I began to walk back towards the forest until I felt him let go of my hand and bend down. I barely had time to say ‘what the fuck’ before he squatted down in front of me and wrapped his arms around my back so I was clinging to him like a koala or something. I squeaked a bit and held onto his neck, tightening my legs around his waist. Then he stood up and resumed walking.

When we finally got to the edge of the forest, the other boys were waiting for us outside the bus. Mike ran up to us, soaking wet. “We were looking for you guys!” he said. When he saw the position I was in, he leaned down a bit and smiled at me through the rain. “Hi there, Zoe! Looks like you two kissed and made up,” he said, winking and squeezing my nose. I stuck my tongue out at him childishly.

“Shut up, Mike,” Tony grumbled, starting to walk again. Mike trailed behind us and soon we reached the door.

Tony stepped aside and looked at Mike, clearing his throat. “Could you open the door? I got my hands full here,” he said as he adjusted me so I didn’t slip.

“Sure,” he said. “But know this- I’m opening it for Zoe, not you.” He opened the door and stretched a tattooed arm out. “Ladies first.”

Tony walked the couple steps onto the bus and continued on towards the bunk area. I kind of expected him to put me down once we got inside the bus, but hey, I’m not complaining.

He stopped at my bunk and laid me down gently. “Change into something dry, then come to my bunk,” he instructed. I nodded.

I shut the curtain on my bunk and peeled off my jeans and hoodie, pulling on sweatpants and a tank top, with a ptv sweater over it. Then I joined Tony on his bunk.

When he saw me, he smiled. He had changed into some dry jeans and a white Key Street tee. He reached out his bare arms and I gladly let them surround me while I climbed into his bunk, sitting in between his legs, body facing him. I peered around his bunk shyly, not wanting to look at him, while he stared at me, smiling slightly.

I saw an old, worn out photograph on one on the walls of his bunk. It had crease marks running through the top and sides, but it was still plain to see who was in the photo.

A young Tony and I were sitting on the front step of his house. It must’ve been a Sunday or a special occasion, because I was wearing a dress and Tony had on a little suit. I was blowing bubbles, looking at whoever was holding the camera, and Tony was looking at me, smiling dreamily. It was so adorable. I couldn’t help but smile a little bit as I removed the tack holding it in place and took it off the wall.

I turned so I was facing him again, and looked up from the photo at him, mouth open in a happy surprise. “Oh my god, Tony...” I whispered. “You still have it.”

The photo had been a gift to Tony from my mom, given to him during the last time we visited her at the hospital. She had made me cover my ears, then motioned for Tony to come closer. She had taken one of his hands in hers, and with the other, she gave him the picture, smiling. They’d exchanged a few words that I never heard, but I guess they had meant a lot because Tony leaned over her hospital bed and hugged her tightly before folding the picture into fourths and putting it carefully in his pocket.

“Of course I do,” he said, chuckling. “It’s my favorite picture of us.”

I grinned hugely, looking back at the photo.

“Flip it over,” he told me, nodding to it.

I did as I was told and turned it over, revealing a small note written in neat cursive that could only belong to my mom.

Tony,
I took this on your seventh birthday.
Zoe found bubbles in the goodie bags and wouldn’t stop playing with them.
Isn’t she cute? You are, too.
I’m not going to be here much longer, mijo, so I have something to ask of you.
Promise you’ll take care of her. She’s not as tough as she looks.
She needs someone. I need you to be that someone, okay? Please.
Te amo,
Carina Green

I covered my mouth with my hand and squeezed my eyes shut. Tony wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. “I’m gonna keep that promise, Zoe,” he whispered into my neck. “I’m never going to leave you, okay?”

All I could do was nod and hope he meant what he said.