Hold On Till May

Sophia's POV

What was I thinking? I shouldn’t have kissed him. Gosh, I’m so fucking stupid. What an idiot.
After we pulled away from the kissed, I had muttered a quick sorry before sprinting off upstairs and to the guest room. I was so embarrassed. It wasn’t meant to happen.

Oh god, what is Craig going to do when he find out? I know that should be the last thing on my mind right now, but I can’t help it. He is after all, the one I love, right? Yes, even after everything he’s done I still love him. How could I not? He’s done a lot for me, while I’ve done fuck all for him, I haven’t helped him with any problems he’s had.

I sighed and dropped myself on the bed in the room and closed my eyes. I’m so confused right now. I must feel some emotions towards Mike; otherwise I wouldn’t have kissed him. That can’t happen though, he’s meant to be my best friend, almost like the brother I’ve never had. This is so confusing.

Maybe it’ll be best I stay away from Mike for a bit, and also stay away from Craig, maybe take a break from our relationship, because let’s be honest, as much as I love him, it’s obvious that it won’t last much longer, especially with all this jealously and accusations.

Upon deciding to spend time away from them both, I got up from the bed and walked over to where Vic had placed my bag earlier and picked it up before making my way back downstairs. It’d be too awkward to stay here now, I’d be better off back home with my mom, where she’ll give me advice and it will without a doubt be the best advice I’ll ever hear.

Sighing, I opened the door to the bedroom and walked over to the stairs before making my way down them. Once I reached the bottom, I placed my bag down by the front door, before making my way into the kitchen, where everyone, apart from Mike, were still sat eating.

As I just stood there watching, Mama Fuentes looked up and smiled, instantly standing up and grabbing a plate, before piling food into it.

“Come sit down, sweetie.” She said.

I sent her a soft smile, as I shook my head no.

“I’m not hungry. I just came here to tell you, that I’m actually going back home, I think I would feel better being with my mom right now.” I spoke quietly.

“Oh, well okay. But be sure to come around again some time.”

I smiled, nodding and turned around to make my way back to the front door.

“Soph. If you can hold on for about ten minutes or so, I can give you a lift back.” Vic said.

“It’s okay, Vic. I don’t mind walking, I need to think about some things anyway.” I answered.

He stood up and came over to me and pulled me into a hug.

“I just want to talk to you. One on one, without Mike or anyone around.” He whispered.

I pulled out of the hug and nodded.

“Okay.”

“Good. You can go and wait in the lounge if you want, I shouldn’t be much longer.” Vic said.

I nodded and turned to make my way to the lounge.

As I stopped by the door, I could suddenly feel my stomach doing flips. Mike was still in there and I had no clue as to if he was angry or not. Taking a deep breath, I stepped into the room to see Mike sat with his head in his hands. As soon as he heard someone enter the room, he looked up. Once he saw it was me, he jumped up and made his way over to me, the look of guilt washing over him.

“Soph, I’m sorry.” He frowned.

“Why Mike? You’re not the one who started the kiss, I was.” I said.

“Yeah, but I could’ve at least stopped you. It’s obvious you’re all confused right now.” He said.

“Well you’ve got that right.” I muttered.

“This won’t affect our friendship will it?” Mike asked.

“Honestly? I don’t know right now. I’m so confused. I do think it’ll be best we stay away from each other as well for a while.” I shrugged.

“Because of Craig?” He questioned almost instantly.

“No, I’m going to ask Craig if we can have a break from our relationship as well. I’m confused Mike, really confused. I honestly thought he was the love of my life until you came back. Ever since then he changed, he fucking burns me and just a few hours later I kiss you? It’s all fucked up, I’m fucked up right now. I need space from both of you, until I can understand why everything is like it is. Don’t take it personally please, because I’m doing this so our friendship isn’t ruined. I’d be devastated if that happened.” I explained.

“Okay, I understand.” He responded, smiling softly.

I nodded, just as Vic entered.

“You ready to go?” He questioned.

I nodded and walked over to the front door where my bag was, without looking back at Mike.

“I’m going to drop these to off at Jaime’s place before going to yours, is that okay?” Vic questioned.

I nodded and made my way over to the car. Jaime and Tony got into the back, as Vic opened the front passenger door for me. I smiled and thanked him as I climbed in, before he shut the door and made his way round to the driver’s side.

**

Once Vic had dropped Jaime and Tony off, he turned the car around and started driving in the opposite direction, back to my place.

“You said you wanted to talk.” I spoke quietly.

I watched as he turned to me quickly, before placing his attention back into the road.

“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. I’m worried about you.” He answered softly, in his soothing voice.

“I’m fine Vic, honestly. Thank you for being concerned though.” I answered, smiling softly.

“Soph, I’m not stupid, I may not be looking at you right now, but I can tell you’re lying.” Vic spoke.

“I’m confused, Vic. Real confused.” I said, almost on the verge of tears.

“That’s understandable, especially after everything that happened this afternoon.”

“Not just that.” I all but whispered.

“What else has happened, Soph?”Vic asked in a worried tone.

“Mike and I kissed earlier.” I whispered.

“Did he force himself on you? Because I swear to go-“

“I kissed him.” I spoke, cutting Vic’s rambling off.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. It’s confused me even more. I’m supposed to love Craig and I go and kiss Mike. I was fine until you and Mike were back. Gosh, that sounds like I regret seeing you guys again, because I don’t, I’m glad you’re both ba-“

“Soph. Stop it, you starting to ramble. I get it, you thought you only loved Craig, but now we’re back you realise you might actually have feelings towards Mike as well.” Vic said, as we pulled up outside my place.

I looked out the window, and noticed that the lounge light was still on, telling me that mom was still up.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” I sighed.

“Spend some time away from them both. Figure it out yourself without them telling you who you should go with. Time will solve everything. I’ve told you that many times, it’s my number one piece of advice. Don’t rush it, take however long you need, they should both understand and if they care, they’ll wait however long they have to wait. I don’t want you feeling like you have to stay with Craig because you’re in a relationship with him now and because you’re scared of what he might do next, but I don’t want you to feel like you should just choose Mike because of what happened between you both. It’s your choice, and I’m willing to have a word with Mike if you want me to.”

I listened to everything he said and nodded.

“Will you, please? He might believe it a bit more if you tell him as well. I think he thinks I’m only suggesting it right now because of Craig and because of what happened earlier.”

“Of course I will. Just give me a call if you need anything, you know I’m always here for you.” Vic said, leaning over and pulling me into a hug.

I wrapped my arms around him the best I could and started crying. I felt Vic rub my back, trying to calm me down as he whispered soothing things in my ear.

Eventually we pulled away, and he wiped away my tears and kissed my forehead.

“I’ve missed the times where it’d be just us two.” I said smiling through my tears.

“Me too. They were good times, I’d forget we’re friends and think you’re actually my sister.” Vic chuckled.

I giggled and nodded. It’s true, when it was just us two together, hanging out, rather than calling each other by our names, we’d just call each other “bro” and “sis”, and it is truly what our relationship felt like, we weren’t friends, we’re family.

“How about tomorrow, for a couple of hours, we relive those days? Watch stupid movies, argue over stupid things, give each other advice that were clearly won’t ever use ourselves.” Vic asked.

I nodded.

“I’d like that.”

“Great. Well you get inside, have a chat with your mom, and get some sleep, you look worn out and not the cheerful Sophia I’ve always known. I’ll text you in the morning.” He said.

I gave him one last hug, before reaching down to pick up my bag and step out of the car. Just before I shut the door, we exchanged our goodbyes and I made my way up to the front door. I pulled my keys out and slipped it into the lock and opened the door and turned around to wave at Vic before, entering the house.

“Mom?” I called out.

I heard the television playing in the lounge and made my way there, only to see mom fast asleep on the couch. I smiled softly and picked the blanket up, that we kept on the side of the couch and draped it over her. I kissed her cheek before turning the television off, as well as the light, before exiting the room and making my way up the stairs and to my room.

Once I entered the room, I shut the door and made my way to my bed where I dumped my bag and sat down. I was about to lie down, when I looked over to my desk and noticed and small box along with a letter.

Confused, I stood up and walked over to my desk and picked up the small envelope, with my name scribbled on the front in Craig’s scruffy writing. I gently opened the envelope and pulled out the piece of paper to see the note he had written.

Sophia,

I’m sorry Soph, really sorry. I regret the way I have treated you so badly, if I could take it all back, I would, but I can’t. I’m sorry for causing you those injuries, for hitting you, burning you, and accusing you of cheating on me with Mike. I knew you hadn’t, but I said it anyway.

I love you Sophia, I really do, I know it may not seem it right now, but I do. This past year, you have been my life, and I had always hoped we could spend forever together. But it’s not going to happen, because I’ve come to realise, you’ll be better off without me, I have the temper and attitude of my father and we all know how he turned out. I’m scared I’ll end up doing to you what he did to my mother, so it’s best I end this relationship before it gets too far. Wait, it already has. It hurts to see the panic in your eyes whenever you see me, I don’t want to have to live with that anymore. I don’t want you to live in fear anymore.

As you can probably see, there is a box on your desk that was with this letter, it’s a necklace. The necklace I have caught you looking at many times, actually. I had gone and brought it today, I wanted to surprise you, show you I do still love you and always will.

Anyway, I’m sorry to have ended things this way over a stupid letter, but I guess you won’t be wanting to see me for a while, I still want you to keep the necklace, because even though things are now over and even after the way I have treated you, I do love you. Always have and always will. I’m going to try and get help for my anger, so maybe if we do ever see each other again, I’ll be a changed person.

I suppose I better go now, the police have just pulled up outside the house, I hope you find the right one for you, and even though I have been jealous of him ever since he’s been back, I believe Mike may just be the right one for you. Even just as friends he treats you better than I ever have.

I love you Sophia Louise Bruce.

Craig
X

Once I finished reading the letter, I placed it down on the desk as I wiped under my eyes.

”I’m scared I’ll end up doing to you what he did to my mother.” His dad had beaten his mother to the point where she was rushed to hospital and fell into a coma, when a few hours later she passed away. He was inside now, but Craig had his temper. I didn’t know whether I should be happy or saddened by all this. Saddened that he’s scared of turning out like that, but happy because he clearly cares enough to end the relationship to keep me safe, before I end up like his mother.
I shook my head, and took a few deep, shaky breaths, before picking up the box he had left, with the necklace in.

Upon opening it, I gasped and stared at it in shock. He was right about it being the one I always looked at, but I was never hinting or hoping that he’d get it for me one day. I didn’t think he had that type of money.

The necklace had a gold heart of it, with a diamond on it. Diamond was my birthstone, which Craig knew and this necklace was one of those where you could pick what stone was in it. I wanted to thank him, kiss him, hug him and forgive him. But he’s gone, where to, I don’t know. I doubt I ever will.

But I decided on one last thing. I wanted to at least see him one last time, say a proper goodbye. Not one on paper where it’s just his words and I don’t get a say. I wanted at least a goodbye kiss. I don’t want my last moments with him to be him hurting me.