Hold On Till May

We stayed for the gig in the end last night. It went better than I expected, the guys had improved since I last listened to them, but maybe that was because they now had Jaime and Tony in the band, I don’t know.

I couldn’t take my eyes off Mike the whole time though. The way he just got lost in the music, closing his eyes, head banging and hitting those drums like his whole life depended on it. They were all so into it, Vic singing like it’s the last song he’ll ever sing, closing his eyes, letting the emotion flow from him into the crowd, Jaime going crazy, jumping around like a maniac, while Tony was like Mike with the head banging, and also swinging his guitar over his head. A few times I thought it’d come flying out of his hand and hit someone in the crowd.

Overall, it was a good show and I enjoyed it a lot more than I was expected.

However, it didn’t change how I felt this morning when I woke up. I had about an hours sleep in total, thoughts constantly racing through my head. Reliving the good memories I had with Mike, playing over the day I went to their house only to find out they had left without telling me, to me constantly trying to call Mike and Vic and getting nothing and then, of course, reliving the moment I spoke to them for the first time in a year.

So, understandably, the next morning, I felt slightly under the weather, Craig instantly telling me to take the day off work, and tell them exactly what happened. I was just thankful that work understands.

Seeing as mom was still home, I decided to leave my room and go down and spend the day with her. I found her sat on the couch, watching some chat show. As I entered the room, she looked up and saw me, patting the spot next to her. I sat down and curled my legs under me as I placed my head on her shoulder.

“How was last night?” She asked quietly.

“Awful, but also good, in a weird way.” I answered.

“What do you mean?”

“I saw them, mom. Vic and Mike, I saw them and they spoke to me.” I answered quietly.

“And that was good or bad?” She questioned.

I shrugged.

“I don’t know. I mean, it’s good that they remembered me right? Mike spotted me as soon as I walked past the door that leads backstage. But they tried to act like nothing happened. I lost it completely and started screaming at them.” I sighed.

Mom giggled softly.

“They ended taking Craig and I backstage so they could talk to me, but it hasn’t solved anything. It was good to finally see them again, but, I don’t know mom, I’m so confused right now.” I frowned.

“I know sweetie.” Mom kissed my forehead and pulled me closer to her.

“How was the show itself?” She asked.

I smiled slightly as I remembered.

“So good. I mean they were good just Mike and Vic, but now they have two other members and yeah. I think you would have liked it mom, they look so at home on that stage.” I said.

“I always knew they would make it, Soph, they’re very talented boys and will do whatever it takes to achieve their dreams.” Mom said.

I nodded and cuddled up to her more as I walked the television.

“Soph, can I ask you something?” Mom asked.

“Yeah, why?”

“It’s about you and Mike.”

I raised an eyebrow at her.

“What about Mike and I?” I questioned.

“Well, I was just wondering, do you still have feelings for the boy?”

I frowned and looked away. It was a well-known fact to my mom that I liked Mike as more than a friend, that alone being a possible reason why it hurt more than it may should have when they left. I thought I had finally got over him, but seeing him yesterday brought them all back. He looked better than ever, if that was even possible.

“I-I guess so.” I frowned. “Why?”

“Don’t you think he deserves to know?” She asked.

“No, why does it even matter? I have Craig now.” I said.

“I know sweetie, but are you with Craig just to get over your feelings for Mike or do you really love him?”

Good question!

“Because I love him. Mom, drop this please. There is no way I’m telling Mike while I’m with Craig and especially after this past year. Anyway, who’s to say I’ll see him again?”

“Sophia, sweetie, this is his home town, he lives just round the block, he’s not going to be touring every single day of the year, close to it, but not quite. He’s bound to come home occasionally and you’re bound to bump into each other.” She said.

I saw her look out the window and smile slightly.

“And because he’s about to knock on our front door right now.” She smirked.

I looked at her wide eyed, just as there was a knock on the door. I groaned and moved as mom stood up to answer the door. She turned back to me and winked, causing me to pick up a pillow and throw it at her as she laughed loudly.

I heard her open the door and start talking to Mike.

“Hey Kim, is Sophia in?” I heard Mike ask.

“Yeah, come on in.” mom said.

I heard footsteps and turned around to see Mom stood there with Mike, while smirking. I sighed and pointed at the armchair for him to sit in. He nodded and walked over as mom came back to her previous spot.

“Long time no see, Mike.” Mom started. “How’s touring been?”

How can even talk to him as if nothing happened? Oh wait, she’s not the one who was best friends with him and had feeling for him.

“It’s been good, crazy. But I love it and wouldn’t change it for the world.” He grinned.

I couldn’t help but smile slightly. His smile was contagious and I’m not going to lie, I’m proud of him, for years him and Vic have been wanting to tour, get people to hear their music and they can now do that.

“That’s great, how was the show last night? Sophia was telling me you guys have two new members or something?”

Mike looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

“It was great to finally play a home show and have more than about 50 people show up. I’m just glad we have a few weeks off now. And yeah, Jaime and Tony. They’re great guys, incredibly talented.” He answered. “What did you think of the show Sophia?”

I looked at him.

“It was good.” I shrugged.

He frowned at that and looked down at his hands.

I sighed and stood up making my way into the kitchen. I made myself a cup of coffee and headed back towards the lounge.

“I’m going to get ready.” I said to mom.

“You not going to talk to Mike?” She asked.

I looked at him, then back at her.

“If he really wants to talk, he’ll wait down here while I go upstairs and shower. I’ll be back down shortly.”

They both nodded as I turned to go upstairs.

**

Once I finished in the shower, I walked back to my room and got changed into a pair of leggings and my black jumper with stars on it.

I was in the middle of brushing my hair, when I heard the front door slam shut.

Figures, he got fed up waiting and left.

I walked down the stairs and started walking to the lounge once again.

“See, I told you he’d just leave mom.” I said loudly, as I walked through the door.

“Your mom’s gone out.”

I jumped and froze mid-step and looked to see Mike still sat there.

“Oh, did she say when she’ll be back?” I asked, going back to my previous seat.

“In a couple of hours.”

I just nodded and looked down at my hands.

“Can we talk?” Mike asked suddenly.

“We did yesterday.” I answered.

“I mean properly, yesterday was rushed.” He said.

I sighed and nodded.

“Fine.”

“I truly am sorry, Sophia. I know you told me to stop saying sorry, but I can’t. I mean it when I say it. I couldn’t sleep last night, seeing how upset you looked and knowing I was the reason just broke my heart. I never wanted to be the one to make you cry and hurt, or the feel alone. I was meant to be there for you no matter what, and this past year I haven’t been. I regret it so much, I really do. If I could turn back time and change it so we told you, then I would.” He frowned.

“But you can’t can you? You did leave without telling me. Yeah, I get it didn’t want to get peoples hopes up or your for that matter, but couldn’t you have at least told me, you had the chance to go somewhere? Even if it meant called weeks or months later. It would have been so much better Mike.” I said.

“I know. Fuck! Words can’t explain how much I hate myself right now for doing that. This is my fault our friendship is ruined. The one friend who meant the absolute world to me now hates me.” He said, mainly to himself as he placed his head in his hands.

“I don’t hate you Mike, I never could, no matter what you do. You could shout or scream at me right now, tell me I’m worthless or tell me I have nothing going for me. I still wouldn’t hate you. I’m angry at you and disappointed, but don’t think I hate you.”

He looked up at me, frowning.

“I’m glad you don’t hate me, but why would I say you’re worthless or have nothing going for you? Sophia, if I remember correctly, you’re ridiculously talented.” He said.

“I guess because I’ve heard it a few times.” I shrugged.

“This isn’t what you were on about yesterday when you said Vic and I weren’t there for you when you needed us, is it?” He asked.

I shook my head.

“No, that was something else.” I answered.

Mike, moved from his seat and took the spot next to me.

“What’s been going on Sophia? I know you don’t trust me right now, shit, I wouldn’t trust me right now if I was you, but I still want to help you, to me, you’re still my best friend.” He said grabbing my hand.

Unlike yesterday, I didn’t pull away from his touch. I let him hold my hand, instantly getting the calm feeling I always used to get whenever he grabbed my hand or hugged me.

“Mom and dad are getting divorced.” I whispered.

“What? Why? I thought they were happy.” He said.

“So did I, but turns out dads been cheating on mom for three years now.” I frowned. “Better yet, he has a two year daughter with this other woman.”

I could feel my eyes well up as I looked down at my hands and tried to blink the tears away.

“I’m so sorry, Sophia.” Mike said as he pulled me into a hug.

“It’s not your fault, he’s just an asshole.” I said, chuckling to myself as I pulled away from Mike.

“Hey, I was wondering, and it doesn’t matter if you don’t want to, I wouldn’t blame you. But Vic and I are having a barbeque tonight, the rest of the band will be there along with the crew and I want you to meet them properly. Mama and Papa Fuentes will be there as well, they’re doing most of the food. You can invite Craig and your mom as well if you want.” Mike said.

I watched him the whole time he said that and saw the slight frown making its way onto his face as he mentioned Craig, but he instantly smiled, trying to hide it.

“Um, I’ll think about it.” I shrugged.

“That’s the least I can ask you to do.” He said standing up.

“I need to get going, I still need to unpack and help Vic get things ready for tonight.”

I nodded and stood up with him and walked over to the front door. He grabbed his jacket from the hook and slipped it on before turning to me.

“Hug?” He asked.

I sighed and smiled slightly as I hugged.

“I’m going to make all this up to you, I promise.” He said.

“Don’t fuck it up.” I warned him.

“I won’t. I’ll see you later?” He asked.

“We’ll see.” I smiled.

“I hope so.” He grinned and made his way down our drive way.

“I’m holding you to that promise, Fuentes.” I shouted after him as he made his way down the road.

He waved his arm at me, causing me to shake my head and shut the door.

Agreeing to this can either be good or bad.