I'm Low On Gas And You Need A Jacket

Kellin and Vic were one of those kids in school that were known as loners, `fags` that listen to `emo music` and such things. Even though they came out of closet almost four months ago when they got in relationship, people used to make fun of them since the 5th grade.

They were madly in love with each other and they looked so happy and careless when they were together. But it wasn’t like that. Every day in school was just another hell-living day. Every day they would get beaten up by some homophobic bullies. Blood, sweat, tears and panic attacks were normal thing for 17-year old Vic and his 16-year old boyfriend Kellin.

They couldn’t defend themselves even if there were two of them. They were too small to stand up for themselves. They had to put up with everything alone. The thought of changing school crossed their minds, but how could they explain that to their parents. Not that their parents didn’t care, they just didn’t know. Even Vic’s brother, Mike, didn’t know what’s going on with his older brother. Only if he knew…he would scare the shit out of those bullies and they would never ever touch his brother and his brother’s boyfriend.

It was Friday afternoon and Vic and Kellin were on their way to Kellin’s house since his parents were rarely at home. They were really busy and hardworking people, but Kellin missed them being at home and felling loved, like it was when he was little. He remembered the time they used to play with him, when his mother used to sing him lullabies before he had fallen asleep. He shook his head as tears began to form in his eyes.

Once they entered Kellin’s house, he dropped his bag in the living room and ran to the bathroom leaving confused Vic to watch his boyfriend running and locking the bathroom door. Vic knew that he has to check on Kellin because he knew that he was addicted to self-harm and he was depressed, just as Vic himself.

He stood in front of the bathroom and knocked two times, but Kellin didn’t reply. “Kels, open the door, please”, said Vic softly. Nothing. “Kellin, I know you’re in there. Please.” And then he heard Kellin moving to the door and unlock it. His face was no longer pale, it was red. His eyes were all puffy and he was sobbing. Vic took a step closer and hugged him tightly. “It hurts, Vic. Everything hurts.” said Kellin as he rested his head on Vic’s shoulder. “I know, baby. But I promise you it will get better. We are going to get through this, I promise.” That was the moment when Kellin broke down. “How is it going to get better, Vic? You see what are they doing to us every day? Do you know how much it hurts me to see you in pain? How much it hurts me to see you like that and know that I can’t do anything about it. Do you see how worthless I am? You get beaten up because of me. I just can’t stand this anymore, Vic.” By now, Kellin was choking on his own tears. As Vic heard those heart broking words coming out of his boyfriend’s mouth, he was also crying.

“ I know, Kels, I know. It hurts me too. But we can’t do anything about it.” Said Vic as he took Kellin’s hand and led him to the bedroom. As they sat on the bed, Kellin whispered “Actually, we can do something.” Vic looked at him with wide eyes. “You don’t mean..” questioned Vic. About a couple of minutes Kellin answered “Yes, I do. I’ve planned everything.” Vic just took him in his lap and held him close and started to sing so he could calm his boyfriend.
“Forever is a long time
But I wouldn’t mind
Spending it by your side
Tell me everyday I get to wake up to that smile
I wouldn’t mind it at all…”
When he noticed that Kellin has fallen asleep, he stopped singing, but Kel woke up and said “Keep singing, Vic. Everything you sing is so warm to me” At those words Vic just smiled and continued singing. Eventually, they both fell asleep.
_____

After two weeks it was time for their big plan.It was November 24th, the day before their four month anniversary. It was time to get rid of all of their worries and all of the bullies. They made a deal that Vic would pick up Kellin at 11pm and they are going to the bridge to get away of it all. They were both nervous as the time was coming.

Kellin set on the sofa and played with his fingers and trying to calm himself down. His palms were sweating and he was shaking. Once he heard a knock on the door, he run to it and opened it as soon as possible, hugging Vic as tightly as he could. “It’s time” said Vic and Kellin just nod his head.

They walked hand in hand toward the bridge. When they arrived, it was 10 minutes till midnight. Vic noticed that Kellin was shaking and he took off his jacket and handed it to Kellin. “Here, I wouldn’t let you freeze” Kel just smiled small smile and held Vic’s hand tighter.

It was time for them to cross on the other side of the bridge, so they did. “Are you scared?” –“I can’t be scared when you are with me.” “If you were gonna leave this world how could it be without me?” Just when Kellin was about to say something, the clock ticked 12. He looked at Vic with tears already streaming down his face. He held Vic’s hand so tight that Vic was sure his wrist could be broken. He started shaking so hard now and he saw Vic shaking too. “Happy anniversary, baby. I love you. I love you so much it hurts. I want you to know that you were my everything. I’ll love you forever and always.” By now they were both crying so hard. “I love you too, Vic. With all of my heart.”

Vic leaned it and kissed Kellin and with that, they fell into nothing. Hand in hand they were falling down to the river. Although it felt like eternity, it was just a couple of seconds. The very last couple of seconds they were going to spend together.