Sequel: True Love Ever After ›
Status: Completed <3
Perfect Porcelain
Chapter 13: When Your Heart Wears Thin
Michelle's P.O.V.
I was laying down on the bus as we drove towards what would be the last show on the tour. I heard a crash and jumped a bit, slowly getting up to see what happened. I walked over to the bunk area to find that the idiots fell trying to jump in to the top bunks. I sighed and rubbed my temples. "Really?" I asked. Before I could even get an answer I was dragged by the waist and flopped in to a bunk. I screamed a bit before turning around to see Josh. I hit him on the arm "Don't do that." I whined, but I ended up laughing.
I didn't really get an answer, it seemed Josh had found fascination with playing with my hair. He did that a lot, but it's not like I minded. People always complained that Josh was "clingy". Okay, it wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't a bad thing. I found it cute. I sighed, smiling a bit, and tried to get out of the bunk only to be held tighter and pulled back. "Jossshhh..." I wwas whining like a 2 year old, but again I ended up laughing.
Eventually I stopped trying to pull away and just let myself relax. I could heard Josh's rhythmic breathing beside me, and I could tell he was asleep. Sleep. Somthing I'd been lacking lately. These days it was all night phone calls trying to keep my best friend's sanity. I was exhausted and frustrated and it ended up usually with me crying at 4 in the morning. Then it moves to guilt because Josh is usually up with me, and he has to sit there and endure me nearly tearing my hair out. I was snapped out of thought by the bus stopping. Apparently we were here.
I shook Josh lightly. "Josh, come on. We're at the arena." and I slowly saw him open his eyes. I could tell me expression was laced with guilt. He didn't sleep because of me and then I interrupt the peace he did get. Seeing the look on my face, Josh pulled me in for a hug. "It's okay. You're just trying to help and be you." and honestly I felt like crying again. However there were no time for tears. I was being dragged by the hand and in to the building, Josh and I swinging our hands as we walked.
*TIME PASSES.....*
I swear I cried a bit as the show ended. As much as they said it, most people don't truely believe how much of a dream come true this is for the guys. As much as I loved touring though, I wanted to go home. Home to our house in Vancouver. Home to the rain. Home.
I sat on the bus, watching as the guys still had energy to jump around and drive me crazy. "Feels good to be going home." Some one said and I just sighed happily, because going home was a very good feeling. To everyone.
We were still driving in to the early hours of the morning, and my phone started buzzing. I wasn't dumb enough to keep the sound on in the middle of the night. I slowly picked it up, scared of what Ally I was going to hear tonight. " 'Chelle?" "Yeah Ally, I'm here." "How are you?" "I'm fine. We're on our way back home." I was surprised, today I'd gotten the rarely-seen calm Ally. "I missed you." she whispered, it sounded like she was about to cry, "I missed you too Ally." I said truthfully, but I was confused as well. "Ally, what's up?" I asked, concern filling my voice. "Do you hate me?" she asked "Ally, why would I ever hate you?" "Because I've been a bitch lately." "Ally, you're stressed. No one expects you to be perfect." by now I was crying because I didn't think she was being a bitch, nothing was her fault. " 'Chelle I'm really fucking sorry." "Ally, an apology isn't needed, you're my best friend." I could tell she was crying too.
We hung up and I just laid back, tears still running down my face. I didn't even know why I was crying. I think it was still stress. Anxiety has always taken its toll on me. Even when we were kids, I'd always been prone to anxiety attacks and stress. I ran my hands through my hair, stopping and tugging on the knots. It felt like I was going to have a panic attack. My breath started getting heavier and I was shaking. I slowly took deep breaths, allowing my eyes to close and I just sat there, trying to calm myself down.
I jumped a bit when I heard movement and I cautiously walked towards the bunks. I was scared until I realized Josh must have been awake like me. I crouched to see him lying there, tossing and turning trying to be comfortable. He flipped around suddenly and saw me. My eyes were still watering and I was still shaking a bit. Josh's eyes widened and he pulled me on to his bed and hugged me. I knew why it was a surprise, I haven't had a panic attack since I was 18 when some one got drunk at a party and the kid almost died jumping off the stairs of whoever's house we were at.
Somewhere between the hugs, the kisses on my forehead, and Josh playing with my hair again... we managed to fall asleep. Getting some rest before we reached the rainy maritime weather of Vancouver, B.C.
I was laying down on the bus as we drove towards what would be the last show on the tour. I heard a crash and jumped a bit, slowly getting up to see what happened. I walked over to the bunk area to find that the idiots fell trying to jump in to the top bunks. I sighed and rubbed my temples. "Really?" I asked. Before I could even get an answer I was dragged by the waist and flopped in to a bunk. I screamed a bit before turning around to see Josh. I hit him on the arm "Don't do that." I whined, but I ended up laughing.
I didn't really get an answer, it seemed Josh had found fascination with playing with my hair. He did that a lot, but it's not like I minded. People always complained that Josh was "clingy". Okay, it wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't a bad thing. I found it cute. I sighed, smiling a bit, and tried to get out of the bunk only to be held tighter and pulled back. "Jossshhh..." I wwas whining like a 2 year old, but again I ended up laughing.
Eventually I stopped trying to pull away and just let myself relax. I could heard Josh's rhythmic breathing beside me, and I could tell he was asleep. Sleep. Somthing I'd been lacking lately. These days it was all night phone calls trying to keep my best friend's sanity. I was exhausted and frustrated and it ended up usually with me crying at 4 in the morning. Then it moves to guilt because Josh is usually up with me, and he has to sit there and endure me nearly tearing my hair out. I was snapped out of thought by the bus stopping. Apparently we were here.
I shook Josh lightly. "Josh, come on. We're at the arena." and I slowly saw him open his eyes. I could tell me expression was laced with guilt. He didn't sleep because of me and then I interrupt the peace he did get. Seeing the look on my face, Josh pulled me in for a hug. "It's okay. You're just trying to help and be you." and honestly I felt like crying again. However there were no time for tears. I was being dragged by the hand and in to the building, Josh and I swinging our hands as we walked.
*TIME PASSES.....*
I swear I cried a bit as the show ended. As much as they said it, most people don't truely believe how much of a dream come true this is for the guys. As much as I loved touring though, I wanted to go home. Home to our house in Vancouver. Home to the rain. Home.
I sat on the bus, watching as the guys still had energy to jump around and drive me crazy. "Feels good to be going home." Some one said and I just sighed happily, because going home was a very good feeling. To everyone.
We were still driving in to the early hours of the morning, and my phone started buzzing. I wasn't dumb enough to keep the sound on in the middle of the night. I slowly picked it up, scared of what Ally I was going to hear tonight. " 'Chelle?" "Yeah Ally, I'm here." "How are you?" "I'm fine. We're on our way back home." I was surprised, today I'd gotten the rarely-seen calm Ally. "I missed you." she whispered, it sounded like she was about to cry, "I missed you too Ally." I said truthfully, but I was confused as well. "Ally, what's up?" I asked, concern filling my voice. "Do you hate me?" she asked "Ally, why would I ever hate you?" "Because I've been a bitch lately." "Ally, you're stressed. No one expects you to be perfect." by now I was crying because I didn't think she was being a bitch, nothing was her fault. " 'Chelle I'm really fucking sorry." "Ally, an apology isn't needed, you're my best friend." I could tell she was crying too.
We hung up and I just laid back, tears still running down my face. I didn't even know why I was crying. I think it was still stress. Anxiety has always taken its toll on me. Even when we were kids, I'd always been prone to anxiety attacks and stress. I ran my hands through my hair, stopping and tugging on the knots. It felt like I was going to have a panic attack. My breath started getting heavier and I was shaking. I slowly took deep breaths, allowing my eyes to close and I just sat there, trying to calm myself down.
I jumped a bit when I heard movement and I cautiously walked towards the bunks. I was scared until I realized Josh must have been awake like me. I crouched to see him lying there, tossing and turning trying to be comfortable. He flipped around suddenly and saw me. My eyes were still watering and I was still shaking a bit. Josh's eyes widened and he pulled me on to his bed and hugged me. I knew why it was a surprise, I haven't had a panic attack since I was 18 when some one got drunk at a party and the kid almost died jumping off the stairs of whoever's house we were at.
Somewhere between the hugs, the kisses on my forehead, and Josh playing with my hair again... we managed to fall asleep. Getting some rest before we reached the rainy maritime weather of Vancouver, B.C.