You Are Exactly My Brand of Heroin

I hadn't realized that the night had grown so close. Maybe it was because we spent hours on end telling about our lives, but we were all now outside and everyone was separating into their own directions. Taylor and the guys had already made their way back to my Hummer and Matt, Brian, Zack, and Val stood with me while Leana, Johnny, Lacey, and Jimmy stood a few feet away from us so Jimmy could talk on his cell phone.

"It's great to see you again, Abbs," Matt said as he hugged me again for the billionth time. I laughed and returned the favor. It was getting quite annoying, if I do say so myself, but hey, he's my brother. I can't blame him and after knowing that I've held so much anger against him for so long, I'm sure it's nice to know that I even talk to him much less let him touch me. Even so, to be honest, looking at those guys and girls just made all of my anger disappear. It was almost as if I'd never been mad at them to begin with. I didn't think I'd be able to let go of my anger as well as I had, but I was glad that I did.

"It's great to see you again, too, Matt, but I guess I'll see you guys..." I trailed off. I wasn't quite sure when I'd see them again. I mean, yeah, we were all leaving for Huntington in a few days, but I didn't know if I was supposed to do anything with them between now and then.

"Tomorrow!" Brian answered eagerly for me. Val, Matt, Zack, and I looked at him strangely. He smiled and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"I agree with Bri. Why don't we all have lunch together or something? Ya know, get together again on a happier not, and then, after lunch, you and the other girls can go out and have some fun while us guys do our own thing," Zack said. Everyone agreed. "Alrighty, then. I'll tell the others. Oh, and Abby, make sure Taylor comes with you. Okay?" Everyone laughed and I nodded.

"Will do, Zack," I said with a smile. I could tell he liked her and I knew that she liked him. He was her favorite member of Avenged Sevenfold, and it wasn't just because he could play guitar better than any other left-handed guitarist, but because of today's events, she didn't have any real time to get to know him like I knew she was wanting, but I was going to make sure that tomorrow would promise that. I had to make everything up to her as best as I could, and that was a start. Zacky hugged me and said goodbye just before running off to Leana, Johnny, Lacey, and Jimmy, who was still on the phone.

"So I guess we'll see you tomorrow, babe. We love you, and we hope you have better luck with Taylor tonight. Don't rush anything. She's been hit with a lot today, and she needs time to take it all in and to cope with it. Okay?" Val asked as she hugged me then held me at arm's length to give me her trusty advice. Val had always been my adviser. She knew everything that I had felt about Brian, and she helped me overcome all of my feelings for him without overwhelming myself or getting rid of them. I could also see that she knew that Brian and I were both dying for some alone time with each other.

I nodded and said, "Okay, Val. Thanks for the advice, and I love you guys too. More than you'll ever know."

"Same here, sweetie, but Matt and I are going to go so you can have some time with everyone else," she said as she laced her fingers with Matt's. I'd noticed earlier that her right hand was decorated with a beautiful diamond ring that Matt had obviously given to her as an engagement ring. That would be a conversation piece tomorrow. I smiled and nodded as the both of them walked away, toward the limousine that was and had been parked in the parking lot for a while now. Brian sighed and moved himself to where he stood directly in front of me. He watched after Matt and Val for a moment then down to me. I smiled brightly at him. He didn't seem nervous at all like he used to be whenever we were alone together. Maybe it was because this situation just felt so right.

"We haven't had much alone time to talk, ya know?" he said. I nodded.

"Yeah. It's a shame though. Once you guys showed up and the shock had settled, I was hoping that I could talk with you."

"Oh, really?" I nodded in approval. "Well, we're alone now, so talk away."

"Well, first of all, what happened between you and Michelle? I know it's not something that we ever used to talk about because you hated bringing her up with me, but I'm just curious. I haven't been around, ya know, but I've known that you two were together for a while. So you two must've been dating after you left, eh? What happened there? I mean, I knew that she was attracted to you but how did you two get together?" He sighed and met my eyes.

"We were drunk at a club one night and I'd already thought Michelle was beautiful, but I guess that alcohol intensified that. So we drank and we talked and we danced a bit and I knew that everyone was watching us. I hadn't had sex in three months and I wasn't' thinking straight to begin with. We just ended up going back to my place and having sex. It elevated from there on out, and at one point in time, I really though I loved her. You see, I wasn't looking for love. Just sex. I didn't want to be tied down, but she kept me coming back for more. We were together for a while, and then tour and just having a career started to make our relationship decline. We came back from another tour with Atreyu and Bullet for My Valentine almost two months ago, and she thought that I had cheated on her but she didn't say anything about it until a few days ago. Of course, I didn't cheat on her. We hadn't had sex in a while and I knew that she wasn't pleased with that, but I was so busy that I didn't even have enough time to think about sex, so she decided that if she couldn't get any from me that she would get some from someone else." My jaw dropped. Throughout our entire teenage years, I fought with Michelle for Brian's attention, even though I knew that I didn't have to. They weren't dating, but she wanted him around her constantly as if they were just so no other girls would touch him. Michelle and I never got along and I knew that she hated me but I never hated her. I had no reason to. We had differences over a guy! Big deal. That would change as we got older, or so I thought. We would change and so would our minds and feelings, but Michelle seemed to be that same old Michelle. Nothing new there.

"I can't believe she would do that to you!" I said to Brian.

"I can," he smirked. He didn't seem bitter about it at all, and that was good."She decided that she couldn't stand to be around me so she moved to L.A. with this Jessica chick that she's been friends with for a while and Val hates it. I'm just glad you came along and took her mind off of Michelle. She's been so worried about her it's unreal, but since Michelle moved out, I'm going to move out as well. I need a space to go where people can't just walk in whenever they please, ya know? On top of that, I'm tired of living with a bunch of dudes and hormonal girls," he joked. I laughed at that one.

"But you've done that all your life! How could you want to change that now?" I joked along with him.

"Change is good right now. It's necessary for a new beginning, but in all honesty, I don't mind living with a bunch of dudes and hormonal girls," he said, his beautiful smile shining brightly. It felt so amazing to see him smile, to see him laugh, to be able to touch him again. I didn't realize it until that moment, but I missed Brian terribly. I missed everything about him. Being able to run to him with anything, being able to hide from the world in his arms, being able to be the real me that no one else ever saw with him. I missed the old me. I missed me period, and I was ready for that me to resurface. "I'm glad you're back, Abby. I've missed you so much," he whispered quietly to me, not letting our gaze be broken.

"I've missed you, too, Brian, and I'm happier than ever to be back with you guys," I said, throwing my arms around him momentarily. He wasted no time at all doing the same. The talking from the others behind us stopped and I knew they were watching us. It was hard to let go of Brian, but I knew that I had to. I also knew that he didn't want to let go either, but once we released each other, Brian leaving an arm around my waist so that I could lean against his rather muscular figure everyone else joined us.

"That was Natalie on the phone," Jimmy said immediately. "How come you never told us that she was here and that you'd told her everything and been with her?"

"I'm sorry. It must've slipped my mind," I replied as I took a deep breath, smelling Brian's cologne and the smell of cigarettes - how he'd always smelled - and exhaling. I missed that smell terribly.

"It's okay, kiddo," he said patting my side. He'd always called me "kiddo" and he told me that no matter how much I complained about it that he always would. It never really bothered me. I just wanted a reason for us to have a tickle fight. "I don't blame, ya. You've had a lot on your plate today, but I hope you don't mind if Nat joins us tomorrow. She's dying to see us all again. She said something about a Ciara coming with her too, and that she's your guys' new make-up artist. Is that true?" Jimmy asked me as he draped his right arm around Leana's shoulders. It was funny seeing their height difference, seeing as Leana was nearly a foot shorter than him.

I nodded and replied, "Yeah, yeah it is, and Ciara's our hair stylist. They're going on tour with us."

"That's great!" Johnny shouted from where he stood next to Leana and Jimmy with his arm wrapped around Lacey's waist. It felt amazing to be seeing this picture again, and I was glad to see that there was no one new around. Everyone was still here, and they relationships were going great. Well, all except for Brian's, but that's a different story. Michelle couldn't have been good for him anyway in any case.

"We should probably get going, though, you guys. It's getting way dark, and I'm sure that Abby has some stuff she needs to take care of, but we love you babe, and we'll see you tomorrow!" Jimmy said as he ripped me from Brian's grip and hugged me tightly. After that, I went one by one hugging Leana, Lacey, and Johnny telling them each goodbye and watching them each leave, then I went back to Brian.

"Well, I guess this is goodbye for now, but if you need to contact any of us, I wrote down all of our numbers on this," he said as he pulled a piece of notebook paper from his pocket and handed it to me.

"Oh, thanks! I'll put these in my phone and give them to the others too. I should probably give you mine and everyone else's though," I laughed.

"Here. All I've got is my hand, but it should work," he said as he handed me a pen from his pocket and laid his palm before me so I could write on it.

"There you are. Thanks for the numbers, by the way, and I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow," I said as I threw my arms around him once again. This was my comfort place. This was where I wanted to be all the time. This was where I wished to be forever, but with everything that had been happening lately, could I ever have a forever just like this?