You Are Exactly My Brand of Heroin

Just talk yourself up and tear yourself down
You've hit your one wall now find your way around
Well, what's the problem?
You've got a lot of nerve

So what did you think I would say?
No you can't run away, no you can't run away
So what did you think I would say?
No you can't run away, no you can't run away
You wouldn't

The extremely loud sound of Paramore's For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic filled my ears as the alarm on my cell phone went off. I grabbed my phone off of my nightstand and stabbed the ignore button. Every inch of my body ached from last night. We'd gone out with the guys and girls like we'd planned to and we all got completely wasted. I had such a blast with my friends and my brother, and it was unlike any other time. Everyone had a chance to bond, and even though I was drunk, it felt amazing to know that my two lives had completely combined into one that was not nearly as complicated as the two were when they were separate. Not only did we get to know each other a bit, but a little "hooking up" went on last night as well, and thinking back on it now, it makes me smile. I'd never seen Taylor or Garrett so happy in my entire life. Of course, Taylor had successfully made her way into Zack's pants because he was asleep with her in her bed as of that moment, and Garrett had taken quite the liking to Ciara, which Taylor and I noticed instantly last night. As a matter-of-fact, he never came home, meaning he was at Natalie and Ciara's, asleep in Ciara's bed. Score number two. It was odd that they were brother and sister, but Garrett was attractive and Taylor was gorgeous and they both have sparkling personalities, and to be honest, it was about damn time that the both of them got laid.

I was glad, though, to finally know that Garrett was occupied with someone other than me. It wasn't that I didn't love Garrett as one of my dearest friends and that I didn't treat him as if he were my brother, but the way he stared at me with lust-filled eyes and they way he touched me sometimes just made me feel strange. Like I've stated many times before, I am by no means in love with Garrett, but I know that he has feelings for me and I know that Taylor's been dying for me to get with him. Even so, I know that Garrett doesn't love me. It's just so he can get in my pants and have the glory of taking my virginity, and I don't want that. If I'm going to give myself up, it'll be to the one I love, whether or not I have to save that for marriage it's fine by me. I've always had that thought, though, but I know if that's what I say to Taylor, she'll blow up on me so I just keep my mouth shut.

I moaned in agony as I rolled over in my black silk bedsheets and felt the piercing rays of the sun beat down onto my barely open eyes. I quickly closed them and covered my face with my arm. After a moment of letting my eyes rest, I sat up and my head instantly began throbbing. I had a hangover from hell and it was not going to be promising. I threw the blankets off of me and walked into the bathroom, double-checking Garrett's bed to make sure that he'd truly gone to Ciara's last night and he had. I sighed to myself, knowing that this morning was going to go much easier without him here. I stood in front of the mirror, rubbing my eyes and looking over my complexion before I took a shower. I looked a lot better than I had this time two weeks ago. I could feel a change in myself, too, since my brother and the guys had come back. I had more of an appetite and I had a lot more energy. I guess that was what I needed to get my head out of the gutter. Before stripping down to take a shower, I leaned out the bathroom door and glanced at the alarm clock on Garrett's nightstand which stated that it was nine fifty-eight. We were meeting everyone at noon at a restaurant downtown on South Las Vegas Boulevard in New York - New York called Gallagher's Steakhouse. Brian had made reservations for all of us there, and he said that he'd been there before and the food was amazing. Let's hope so because I was starving.

After my shower, I stepped out and wrapped a towel around myself, drying my hair as well. I blow-dried my hair after that, then curled the ends so that they made banana curls, and I also folded my bangs from the side of my face to on top of my head with a bobby pin to make the curls accentuate my face even better. I brushed my teeth and did other things of that nature before applying a bit of black eyeliner and mascara to my face along with some black eyeshadow for a smoky affect. After that, I dabbed on some clear lip gloss and stepped out into my bedroom. By now, everyone was awake and Taylor was standing in my doorway with Zack right behind her. They were both fully dressed and ready to go, and I could hear Brett, Jordan, and Logan downstairs playing the Xbox which meant that they were all ready too.

"Ooh. Don't you just look smoking hot," I cooed at Taylor. She smiled and looked up at Zack who smiled back down at her. I wasn't sure if "smoking hot" were the right words for it, but she definitely looked beautiful. She wore a tight fitting white halter top that showed off her cleavage, which I knew Zack liked, and a black mini skirt along with a pair of white Ugg boots. Her blonde hair cascaded down her shoulders in one wave and made her sparkling green eyes shine. "You too, Zacky baby. You clean up nice. You always have it's just you do a better job of it now." Zack wore a pair of very dark denim jeans with a button-up black T-shirt and a pair of black Doc Martens. His hair was spiky, as usual, and laid to the side perfectly. He smiled again as the both of them entered the room and plopped onto Garrett's bed.

"So what are you wearing?" Taylor asked from where she lay with her head resting on Zack's hip.

"I haven't decided yet, but since we're going to some big-shot restaurant and the two of you are already dressed up as it is, I think I'll wear this baby," I said as I grabbed a small black dress from my closet. It had a V-neck that was definitely going to show a lot of cleavage and barely made it down to mid-thigh. It hugged all of my curves perfectly when I'd wore it before, and I was hoping that it still would. "And what about these to go with it?" I asked as I bent down and picked up a pair of stiletto heels that wrapped around my calf and ended at my knee.

"It's perfect!" Taylor exclaimed.

"I think you'll look as beautiful as ever, Abbs," Zack smiled. I smiled back and thanked the both of them before walking into the bathroom to change. Afterward, I sprayed a little Ralph Lauren perfume on myself for added effect and stepped out of the bathroom.

"So, what do you think?" I asked my audience. Brett, Logan, and Jordan were now in the room sprawled across my bed and once I stepped out of the bathroom, the noise they'd been making ceased.

"Day-um!" I heard Jordan say as he took in all of my features with his mouth agape. Everyone laughed at him as he continued to stare. "I wish I would've known you were that fucking hot a long time ago, Abbs." I smiled and grabbed my bag off of the nightstand next to the boys along with my phone and the keys to my Hummer.

"I'm not even going to ask why, so why don't we all get going? Who's riding with me?" All of the boys raised their hands and took off out the door. "So I'm guessing you're riding with Lover Boy over there?" I asked Taylor. Zack blushed. Taylor did, too. She nodded and looked up at me with a smile on her face then she looked over to Zack who kissed her lips softly. "Aw! How cuy-ute?!" I said, embarrassing the both of them once again.

"Okay," Zack said, lifting Taylor off of him. "Let's go before she keeps it up." Taylor and I laughed as we all filed out the door and down the stairs to the garage.

"Honey, that's not even the worst. If you plan to hang around for a while, you better get used to it. Besides, we did it to you all the time when we were kids."

"Yeah, but it was funny then."

"It's funny now," I said as I climbed into the driver's seat of my Hummer while Taylor and Zack climbed into his black Mercedes Benz. All the guys were already piled into my vehicle and had Panic at the Disco blaring through the speakers. I simply laughed and started the vehicle.

---

We all arrived at the restaurant around the same time. Well, at least the guys, Taylor, Zack, and I did. Everyone else had beat us there, of course. I parked my Hummer on the curb and got out only to be met by a rather ravishing Brian who was smoking on a cancer stick like always, but hey, I couldn't blame him. There were times where I've chain smoked like crazy, but other than that, I'm usually a light smoker. I stepped up onto the sidewalk, steadying myself in my stilettos and took the cigarette from Brian's mouth, taking a long drag from it while everyone passed by us to get into the restaurant. After I was finished, I handed it back to him and blew the smoke from my mouth.

"You know, you really shouldn't smoke. It'll kill ya," I said with a smile. Brian smiled at me and took another hit off of his cigarette before throwing it to the ground on stomping on it with his boot.

"Maybe I wanna die," he said with a sarcastic smile.

"Well, maybe I don't want you to."

"What's it to ya?" he asked, placing his hands on his hips.

"A lot. It depends on the rest of my life, ya know?"

"Oh really? How so?"

"Well," I began as I stepped closer to him and toyed with the buttons on his shirt. He smiled down at me. He looked absolutely amazing. He wore a tight-fitting black button-up, long sleeve shirt with light colored, ripped jeans and a pair of black boots. His hair had been spiked like always and he wore countless belts and necklaces. Did I mention that he smelled godly? It was almost intoxicating, but I was used to it. Brian always smelled good. "Now that I know I'll be around forever, it'd be nice if you were there to help make that forever not so boring." He smiled and placed his hands on my hips.

"I'd be there no matter what, Abby, and you know that. I wouldn't miss it for the world, and yes, I'll be around for that forever." I smiled brightly up at him as he kissed my forehead. Isn't this a change from yesterday? Moments, later Matt stepped out of the restaurant staring at the two of us. He gave Brian a warning glance and Brian immediately released me, knowing that today was supposed to be a good day and that he didn't want to start anything.

"Hey, Abbs," Matt said as he walked over and hugged me tightly.

"Hey Matt. How is everyone?" I asked once he released me.

"They're good, but you could come inside and see for yourself. Everyone's here, waiting for the two of you," he said glancing up at Brian. Brian scratched the back of his head like he always had when he was nervous or in an awkward situation and smiled nervously. Seeing Matt's expression after seeing him touch me obviously had him a little on edge, but I was sure that it would all pass in time. Matt kept his arm around my shoulders and lead me inside with Brian in tow. This dinner was definitely going to be interesting.

I plopped down in a chair with Brian on my left and Matt on my right. Everyone sat around our enormous table. Val sat on the opposite side of Matt with Jimmy and Leana on the other side of her. Johnny, Lacey, Zack, and Taylor sat on the other side of Brian while Garrett, Ciara, Natalie, Jordan, Brett, and Logan sat across from us.

"Hey you guys," I said as I sat down and our waitress came over to take our order. Everyone said disorganized hellos and began searching their menus. I did the same, sharing one with Brian while secretly sneaking peeks at everyone. We were all truly a family again. Well, we were an even bigger family now, but I'm sure that a few new people would be just fine. In the same sense, we weren't broken anymore. The part of us that had been missing had been brought back to complete the puzzle and that piece was here to stay.