You Are Exactly My Brand of Heroin
Love Don't Cost a Thing.
I awoke that morning to the sound of snoring. It was soft snoring that was coming from Garrett across the room, but it made my migraine worsen. I sighed and rolled over, noticing another body laying beside me. My eyes flew open, and I was now fully alert and awake. I pulled the blankets away from the body to see that it was Abby. I immediately made sure that the both of us were fully dressed before I could relax. Thank God. We were both still wearing what we'd had on from the night before, but Abby's dress had risen above her hips, revealing her black, lacy panties. My gaze quickly moved from her body to her beautiful, sleeping face once I realized what I'd been doing. Still yet, I let my eyes travel the length of her body a few times before I decided to fix her wardrobe malfunction. She was absolutely beautiful - inside and out. With the tips of my fingers, I slowly pulled her dress down just to where I couldn't see her panties anymore. She moaned and moved a bit, rolling onto her stomach with her face only inches away from mine.
I smiled and began to stroke her hair and stare at her longingly, knowing the by just being here beside her that I was jeopardizing one of my most valued friendships. I knew that Matt would kill me if he ever knew that I'd spent the night in Abby's bed with her. Even though that was a big thing for me to get over, it wasn't the main thought that was plaguing my mind. I'd told Abby last night that I loved her, and even though I was drunk, I remembered it... and truly meant it. She'd told me that she loved me, too, but I knew that was just a response to my intoxication. She was just trying to keep me happy because she knew how annoying I can be when I'm drunk. Even so, I was tired of hiding it. I'd been keeping this locked up for years now, and no matter if we've only been back with Abby for a few days, she needs to know this now, today, whether she feels that same or not. This love for her is the reason why I've yet to have a successful relationship, and I need her to know that my love for her has been alive for all of this time, even with the distance and time between us. I'd had a lot of time to think about this last night, and I was going to find the perfect time and way to tell her how I truly feel and that I meant every word of what I'd said last night... even if it did cost me a friendship, but love don't cost a thing, right?
---
I yawned as my eyes crept open only to see Brian's gorgeous face. He stroked my hair and smiled at me as I returned the favor. I wouldn't mind waking up to that every morning. He told me that he didn't want to go back to the hotel last night, so I let him crash at my house. Since I trusted Brian even when he was drunk, I let him sleep in my bed with me instead of on the couch like a lousy friend would do. We were both so tired last night that we didn't even bother changing before we crashed.
He smiled at me again and placed his hand on my hip, pulling me closer to him. I let him do so willingly as I hid my face in the space between his neck and his shoulder, inhaling deeply. His scent was absolutely intoxicating and I adored it. He chuckled a bit as he began to rub circles on my hip. We'd always slept together like this when we were teenagers. Of course, no one ever knew about it because word would get back to Matt and there'd be conflict between him and Brian. We didn't want that, so we made little instances like this our own personal rendezvous'.
"Good morning, Mr. Haner," I said into his neck.
"Good morning, Abigail. Did you sleep well?"
"Mhm," I nodded. "But I bet you didn't, huh?" I asked. He'd been drunk, and now, he was hungover. I remembered from the first time that the both of us ever got totally smashed with each other, and we couldn't sleep even though we were dog-tired. He whisper-laughed, making sure not to wake Garrett and Ciara who were asleep in Garrett's bed across the room, as I looked up at him only to meet his gorgeous, big brown eyes.
"You remembered," he said, softly, continuing to rub circles on my hip through my dress as I propped myself up on my elbows so that I was looking down at him now. I bit my lower lip and toyed with the collar of his button-up shirt. I nodded before meeting his gaze again.
"Brian, I'm still the same old Abby that you guys knew eight years ago. I remember everything. You guys are amazing, and you've changed my life forever. How could I forget about you?" Brian searched my eyes for anything but sincerity and smiled once he knew that I was being honest.
"And you don't think you've changed ours?" he asked as if I'd just offended him but I knew where he was going with this. "You mean so much to us, Abby. You're such an amazing person, and I loved spending every second of my childhood with you. I can't even tell you how much I love being around you, talking to you, holding you, falling asleep with you. You've just completed my life, Abby. Without you, I'd be nothing." All I could do was smile at him. I knew that he meant that much to me when we were teenagers and even now, but I didn't know that his love for me - wait... Love? Did I really just let myself think for even one second that Brian could possibly be... in love with me? There's no way. There's just... there's no way. Does he really love me or am I just so direly hoping that he does that I'm comprehending his words in a completely different way than he's meaning them? I have to know, and I have to know now.
"Brian, can I ask you something?" I asked, my tone changing from sentimental to serious in a flash I sat up, crossing my legs. Brian did the same, never breaking our gaze.
He nodded and replied, "Of course."
"Do you promise that you won't lie to me or hide anything from me?" His expression changed from somber to puzzled, but that wasn't something that I cared about at that moment.
"I'd never hide anything from you, Abby. I swear," he said sincerely. I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes, preparing myself for what I was about to say.
"Brian," I spoke softly so that Garrett and Ciara wouldn't hear us from across the room. I sighed and opened my eyes, immediately meeting his. "Brian, are you in love with me?"
---
"Brian," Abby said softly. I knew she didn't want Garrett or Ciara to hear whatever she was about to say. She finally opened her eyes and met mine. "Brian, are you in love with me?" My heart skipped a beat. She'd beat me to my own question. Was she asking me this because she felt the same way or was she asking me this because she wanted to break my heart easily? There was no way that she could break my heart now. She'd been holding it for so many years and is just now realizing that she has it. Is this just a question to clarify whether or not she should give me hers? She'd always protected her heart and never shown much feeling or emotion for anyone other than her closest friends and family like us guys had taught her to, but was she up to giving it away afterwe'd I'd broken it? I sighed. I was going for this no matter what.
"I see that you're just now realizing this. That's fine, but Abby, dear, you've had my heart from the day I met you. You were so gorgeous and so full of life and just exuberant, and you still are. The more and more I came to know you, the more of my heart I gave to you, secretly hoping that you were accepting it." I sighed again, watching tears stream down her cheeks and a small smile plastered on her flawless face. I, too, smiled as I rested one of my hands on her knee while using the other to wipe away her tears. "To completely answer your question, yes, I'm in love with you. I always have been and always will be, Abby. Even if we can never be together and we go our separate ways, I'll still love you." Her smile brightened smile and before I knew it, she positioned herself in my lap on her knees and her lips had crashed onto mine. I was a bit surprised but this was what I'd been waiting for years to do.
Abby wrapped her arms around my neck while I wrapped mine around her waist. I lightly dragged my tongue across her bottom lip, begging for entry, which she instantly gave to me. Our tongues waged war with each other for what seemed like forever before Abby tore away, the both of us gasping for air. The tears of what I was hoping was joy continued to stream down her cheeks as she placed her forehead to mine.
"I love you, too, Brian. I've been in love with you. It's just that with the way that we lived and with the way that we were it made it so hard for me to admit it, and as much as I hate to say, I even thought that you might not feel the same. I feel like an idiot for not seeing it now. We could've done this a long time ago," she said with a smile, her tears subsiding. I too smiled.
"There's no way that you can ever think that from now on, and don't feel like an idiot, baby. I did too, and I wish that we would've seen this a long time ago."
"I'll never ever think like that again. I promise, but Brian, you do realize that we can't jump into this. We have to take it slow."
"Of course not. Everyone needs time to become accustomed to seeing us together." Abby smiled and once the words "us" and "together" left my mouth.
"What do you think Matt will say?" she asked as we released each other and she sat down in front of me again, letting me take her hand in mine.
"I'm not sure. Only time will tell," I replied. She nodded slightly and bit her lower lip again. She did that a lot whenever she was contemplating things or nervous about something. "Don't worry about it, Abbs. I'll take care of it." She shook her head vigorously.
"No. He's my brother. Let me do it," she said sternly. She was standing her ground and wasn't about to negotiate so I simply nodded in agreement. She sighed and glanced over at Garrett and Ciara who were just awakening. Our subject and mood immediately changed.
"G'morning, you two. Did you sleep well?" Abby asked them as Ciara released herself from Garrett's grip and climbed out of the bed.
"What time is it?" she asked as she stretched and rubbed her temples. Garrett sat up and rubbed his temples as well. Abby laughed a bit at the fact that neither Ciara or Garrett cared for morning greetings. I glanced down at my watch as Abby crawled to the end of the bed and plopped down there.
"Well, it's more of a good afternoon rather than good morning because it's two twenty-seven," I said. Garrett and Ciara exchanged glances.
"You guys do realize what we're doing today, right?" Garrett asked. Abby and I exchanged glances. We, obviously, had no idea as to what they were talking about but immediately turned back to them to find out.
"We're leaving today, you guys. For Huntington Beach."
I smiled and began to stroke her hair and stare at her longingly, knowing the by just being here beside her that I was jeopardizing one of my most valued friendships. I knew that Matt would kill me if he ever knew that I'd spent the night in Abby's bed with her. Even though that was a big thing for me to get over, it wasn't the main thought that was plaguing my mind. I'd told Abby last night that I loved her, and even though I was drunk, I remembered it... and truly meant it. She'd told me that she loved me, too, but I knew that was just a response to my intoxication. She was just trying to keep me happy because she knew how annoying I can be when I'm drunk. Even so, I was tired of hiding it. I'd been keeping this locked up for years now, and no matter if we've only been back with Abby for a few days, she needs to know this now, today, whether she feels that same or not. This love for her is the reason why I've yet to have a successful relationship, and I need her to know that my love for her has been alive for all of this time, even with the distance and time between us. I'd had a lot of time to think about this last night, and I was going to find the perfect time and way to tell her how I truly feel and that I meant every word of what I'd said last night... even if it did cost me a friendship, but love don't cost a thing, right?
---
I yawned as my eyes crept open only to see Brian's gorgeous face. He stroked my hair and smiled at me as I returned the favor. I wouldn't mind waking up to that every morning. He told me that he didn't want to go back to the hotel last night, so I let him crash at my house. Since I trusted Brian even when he was drunk, I let him sleep in my bed with me instead of on the couch like a lousy friend would do. We were both so tired last night that we didn't even bother changing before we crashed.
He smiled at me again and placed his hand on my hip, pulling me closer to him. I let him do so willingly as I hid my face in the space between his neck and his shoulder, inhaling deeply. His scent was absolutely intoxicating and I adored it. He chuckled a bit as he began to rub circles on my hip. We'd always slept together like this when we were teenagers. Of course, no one ever knew about it because word would get back to Matt and there'd be conflict between him and Brian. We didn't want that, so we made little instances like this our own personal rendezvous'.
"Good morning, Mr. Haner," I said into his neck.
"Good morning, Abigail. Did you sleep well?"
"Mhm," I nodded. "But I bet you didn't, huh?" I asked. He'd been drunk, and now, he was hungover. I remembered from the first time that the both of us ever got totally smashed with each other, and we couldn't sleep even though we were dog-tired. He whisper-laughed, making sure not to wake Garrett and Ciara who were asleep in Garrett's bed across the room, as I looked up at him only to meet his gorgeous, big brown eyes.
"You remembered," he said, softly, continuing to rub circles on my hip through my dress as I propped myself up on my elbows so that I was looking down at him now. I bit my lower lip and toyed with the collar of his button-up shirt. I nodded before meeting his gaze again.
"Brian, I'm still the same old Abby that you guys knew eight years ago. I remember everything. You guys are amazing, and you've changed my life forever. How could I forget about you?" Brian searched my eyes for anything but sincerity and smiled once he knew that I was being honest.
"And you don't think you've changed ours?" he asked as if I'd just offended him but I knew where he was going with this. "You mean so much to us, Abby. You're such an amazing person, and I loved spending every second of my childhood with you. I can't even tell you how much I love being around you, talking to you, holding you, falling asleep with you. You've just completed my life, Abby. Without you, I'd be nothing." All I could do was smile at him. I knew that he meant that much to me when we were teenagers and even now, but I didn't know that his love for me - wait... Love? Did I really just let myself think for even one second that Brian could possibly be... in love with me? There's no way. There's just... there's no way. Does he really love me or am I just so direly hoping that he does that I'm comprehending his words in a completely different way than he's meaning them? I have to know, and I have to know now.
"Brian, can I ask you something?" I asked, my tone changing from sentimental to serious in a flash I sat up, crossing my legs. Brian did the same, never breaking our gaze.
He nodded and replied, "Of course."
"Do you promise that you won't lie to me or hide anything from me?" His expression changed from somber to puzzled, but that wasn't something that I cared about at that moment.
"I'd never hide anything from you, Abby. I swear," he said sincerely. I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes, preparing myself for what I was about to say.
"Brian," I spoke softly so that Garrett and Ciara wouldn't hear us from across the room. I sighed and opened my eyes, immediately meeting his. "Brian, are you in love with me?"
---
"Brian," Abby said softly. I knew she didn't want Garrett or Ciara to hear whatever she was about to say. She finally opened her eyes and met mine. "Brian, are you in love with me?" My heart skipped a beat. She'd beat me to my own question. Was she asking me this because she felt the same way or was she asking me this because she wanted to break my heart easily? There was no way that she could break my heart now. She'd been holding it for so many years and is just now realizing that she has it. Is this just a question to clarify whether or not she should give me hers? She'd always protected her heart and never shown much feeling or emotion for anyone other than her closest friends and family like us guys had taught her to, but was she up to giving it away afterwe'd I'd broken it? I sighed. I was going for this no matter what.
"I see that you're just now realizing this. That's fine, but Abby, dear, you've had my heart from the day I met you. You were so gorgeous and so full of life and just exuberant, and you still are. The more and more I came to know you, the more of my heart I gave to you, secretly hoping that you were accepting it." I sighed again, watching tears stream down her cheeks and a small smile plastered on her flawless face. I, too, smiled as I rested one of my hands on her knee while using the other to wipe away her tears. "To completely answer your question, yes, I'm in love with you. I always have been and always will be, Abby. Even if we can never be together and we go our separate ways, I'll still love you." Her smile brightened smile and before I knew it, she positioned herself in my lap on her knees and her lips had crashed onto mine. I was a bit surprised but this was what I'd been waiting for years to do.
Abby wrapped her arms around my neck while I wrapped mine around her waist. I lightly dragged my tongue across her bottom lip, begging for entry, which she instantly gave to me. Our tongues waged war with each other for what seemed like forever before Abby tore away, the both of us gasping for air. The tears of what I was hoping was joy continued to stream down her cheeks as she placed her forehead to mine.
"I love you, too, Brian. I've been in love with you. It's just that with the way that we lived and with the way that we were it made it so hard for me to admit it, and as much as I hate to say, I even thought that you might not feel the same. I feel like an idiot for not seeing it now. We could've done this a long time ago," she said with a smile, her tears subsiding. I too smiled.
"There's no way that you can ever think that from now on, and don't feel like an idiot, baby. I did too, and I wish that we would've seen this a long time ago."
"I'll never ever think like that again. I promise, but Brian, you do realize that we can't jump into this. We have to take it slow."
"Of course not. Everyone needs time to become accustomed to seeing us together." Abby smiled and once the words "us" and "together" left my mouth.
"What do you think Matt will say?" she asked as we released each other and she sat down in front of me again, letting me take her hand in mine.
"I'm not sure. Only time will tell," I replied. She nodded slightly and bit her lower lip again. She did that a lot whenever she was contemplating things or nervous about something. "Don't worry about it, Abbs. I'll take care of it." She shook her head vigorously.
"No. He's my brother. Let me do it," she said sternly. She was standing her ground and wasn't about to negotiate so I simply nodded in agreement. She sighed and glanced over at Garrett and Ciara who were just awakening. Our subject and mood immediately changed.
"G'morning, you two. Did you sleep well?" Abby asked them as Ciara released herself from Garrett's grip and climbed out of the bed.
"What time is it?" she asked as she stretched and rubbed her temples. Garrett sat up and rubbed his temples as well. Abby laughed a bit at the fact that neither Ciara or Garrett cared for morning greetings. I glanced down at my watch as Abby crawled to the end of the bed and plopped down there.
"Well, it's more of a good afternoon rather than good morning because it's two twenty-seven," I said. Garrett and Ciara exchanged glances.
"You guys do realize what we're doing today, right?" Garrett asked. Abby and I exchanged glances. We, obviously, had no idea as to what they were talking about but immediately turned back to them to find out.
"We're leaving today, you guys. For Huntington Beach."