You Are Exactly My Brand of Heroin

Valary DiBenedetto leaned against the facing of the doorway with her fiance, Matt, standing beside her in the hallway. The both of them watched as Michelle, Valary's twin sister, and her boyfriend Brian fought, screaming and throwing everything in reach at each other. Well, Michelle was throwing, and Brian was dodging.

"How long do you think this is going to last?" Matt asked Valary.

"I'm not sure. They could be at this for hours." She sighed and continued. "I love my sister to death, but she doesn't seem to understand what it's like to have a boyfriend who's constantly working or on the road. She thinks that he's breaking her heart when in reality, she's breaking his." Matt smiled as Valary smiled up at him. He slipped his finger beneath her chin to balance her face as he kissed her softly.

"Now I know that I picked the better twin," he whispered to her.

"Matt!" she shouted, playfully slapping his chest.

"What?! You should should feel privileged to have me!"

"Privileged my ass! Now, shut up. We're supposed to be worrying about those two! Not us!" Matt simply rolled his eyes and continued watching the duel.

"Michelle, would you, please, stop throwing shit at me?!" Brian asked as Michelle threw a pillow at him. He dodged it, letting it hit the china cabinet behind him that held most of Valary's valuables. Valary gasped as the cabinet shook vigorously but nothing fell. Michelle showed no reaction - completely focused on her target. Tears streaked her face as she continued to scream at Brian.

"This is your fault, Brian! You can't blame this on me!" Michelle shouted.

"Remind me again, what are they fighting over?" Matt asked Valary.

"Why the hell do you think we're standing here?!" Matt ignored her aggravation and went off staring once again.

"My fault? How the fucking hell is it my damn fault when you're the one that cheated on me?!" Matt and Val and both sighed, glancing at each other, thinking the same thing: they were right. She was breaking his heart.

"You've never been there for me, Brian," she said, her voice volume coming down to nearly a whisper. "You never did anything for me. You were always gone - away with the guys, and I sat here with Val, Leana, and Lacey wondering if you're with someone else. I know how you are, Brian. I've seen how you prowl your way through girls - one after the other, so I figured that gives me the right to do the exact same thing to you."

"Michelle, I have never cheated on you. I'm aware that I'm not the most faithful person in the world, but for you to do something like that to me is almost demeaning. I tried to show you that even though I may be gone a lot that I can still give a woman what she wants, but I'm, obviously, not good enough, am I? In these past few weeks, I've lost all respect for you, Michelle. This bullshit you've put me through - screaming at me every time I walk in the damn door, throwing shit at me, putting everyone else through your misery - " Brian sighed as he walked over to where Matt and Val stood. "It isn't worth it, and I'm done - with you, with this relationship - I'm fucking finished. I though I loved you, Michelle, but you've proved that to be wrong. Sometimes, I wish I had never met you...." Matt was watching Val's expression, waiting for the second that it turned from sympathy for Brian to sheer hatred so that he could restrain her from killing him, but it never even quivered. Her eyes stayed on Brian.

"Just leave, Brian! I don't need you anymore, anyway," Michelle shouted as she collapsed onto the couch behind her. Her eyes flooded with tears as she laid her head in her hands and began to cry again. Brian did nothing but glance at her and leave the room, not even acknowledging Matt or Val.

"Go talk to him," Val said to Matt. "I'll talk to Michelle."

"Babe, we can't get them back together. How many times have we done this?"

"I never said that we were getting them back together, but they have to withstand each other. This is for our benefit. Not theirs. As long as I'm with you, Michelle has to tolerate Brian and Brian has to tolerate Michelle. I'm not about to let this come between us, Matt. I love you too much to do that now." Matt smiled.

"You're right. I'll be back," Matt said as he kissed Val softly, once again, before walking down the hall to the balcony where Brian had gone.

---

I took a long hit off of the cigarette that I shared with Zacky and handed it back to him. I was so angry at that very moment that I could've punched a wall. Zacky, Jimmy, Johnny, and Lacey stared at me for a brief moment, then Matt appeared through the sliding glass doors, stepping onto the balcony with the rest of us.

"Don't even fucking try it, Matt. I'm done with her. Nothing on the face of this earth could get me back with that cheating bitch," I said, taking another hit off the cigarette Zacky handed to me again at the precise moment.

"You don't have to get back with her, Bri. All I'm asking and all that Val's asking is that - " Just as he was getting to the point, Val and Michelle began screaming at each other down the hall.

"No, Val!" Michelle screamed as she stomped out of the den and intoour my room. "I fucking refuse to get along - even try to get along - with that heartless bastard!"

"Michelle! Please, just be reasonable!" Val pleaded.

"Listen, Val," Michelle said, suddenly calm. She exited my room and gripped Val's hands in hers, not breaking the gaze she held with her sister. "I love you, Val, and I want nothing but for you and Matt to be happy together," she said, glancing at Matt and smiling. "Someday very soon, he's going to be my brother-in-law, and I can't be happier about that. I also know that you want me to always be a part of your life, and I'm trying my damnedest to do that for you, but I can't with him around." Michelle clenched her teeth at just noting my presence. I rolled my eyes and leaned against the railing of the balcony. "I love all of you very much," she said, staring at me in an I-hope-you-die-and-go-to-hell sort of way, meaning that I wasn't on her list of loved people anymore. "Even though that's true, I can't stay here. Jess is still living in our apartment back in Los Angeles. Most likely, that's where I'll be. Don't think that this is a snap decision, Val. I've, actually, been thinking about this for a while. We've been fighting for so long that I'm ready to escape all of it one way or another. I'm growing sick of it all, and the rock star lifestyle isn't made for me and neither is a rock star
relationship. I'll call you, and I'll see you, but this house just isn't meant for me."

I watched Val's expression, which wasn't pleading or upset in any way, and I didn't understand that. You'd think she'd be at my throat, trying to choke me, because besides Matt, Michelle is the most important person in Val's life. I'd experienced a closeness like theirs once, but it's long gone.

"I'll be leaving in a day or two, but for now, I'll be staying in the guest room," she continued, directing that comment at me.

"You do that," I smiled. Even though I'd once felt some sort of emotion for that girl, I knew from day one of our relationship that it wouldn't last. By far, Val was definitely the better twin. She had the personality, but she just wasn't what I was looking for at the time that I got with Michelle. Besides that, Matt already had her. Of course, Michelle was exactly like Val, but her looks trumped Val in almost every aspect. I didn't think about forming a relationship at the time. I mean, come on! I hadn't had sex in three months when I finally got close to her! I was thinking from my dick then! How the hell was I supposed to know that I would end up in purgatory with her?!

After a few encounters with her, I knew that I was attached sexually, but I wasn't so sure that I was attached emotionally. In a strange sort of way, as it comes to be, I, unfortunately, was. I was in love with Michelle in a friends-with-benefits sort of way. At least, that's the conclusion I'd come to.

She was absolutely not what I was looking for in a woman if I were settling down, but she would do just fine for the time being. Michelle was - lucky for me - my complete opposite. We had nothing in common. Not to mention the fact that she was extremely high maintenance and very needy. I hated that in a girl.

I wanted a girl that could be comfortable around me. One that could talk to me about anything. I had that once...but I left it behind in a life that no longer exists.

Val just stared at her sister. She hated Jessica Collins, Michelle's best friend, mainly because she was a whore, an alcoholic, and a drug addict - the last person Val wanted Michelle to be around, much less living with.

"Fine. If you feel that you're better off with her, then live with the little bitch!" Val shouted, pulling away from her sister.

"C'mon, Val! Please don't be like this!" Michelle pleaded. Did she honestly think she was getting anywhere?

"Just do whatever you want, Michelle. Like I said before, if you feel that you're better off with Jessica then go live with that worthless little whore." That was something that I respected in Val that was unique in comparison to her sister. She had a take-no-shit-from-anyone-even-if-they're-related-to-you type of attitude. That also meant that she had Matt whipped. He claims that he's not, but we all know it's true.

"Just let her go, V. If she wants to live with her, let her do it. She's a grown woman," Jimmy said from where he sat in a lawn chair. Val saw that Jimmy was trying to point out that this was a learning experience for Michelle, so why not let her do it?

"Very well, then. You got your wish. I'll drive you to L.A. Saturday afternoon after dinner," Val compromised. Today was just Friday. One more day with her, and then I'd be free.

"Happy now?" Michelle asked me. We had both gone from being drowned in sorrow to being surrounded by hatred.

"More than you would know," I replied. She rolled her eyes and walked into my room, packing her things to move out. Val joined us out on the balcony a few moments later. Matt put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. This was going to be stressful for her. Michelle had a naive/careless agenda about her, and that got her into sketchy situations at times. Val loved her sister, and even though she agreed to what Jimmy had said, she was still going to worry about Michelle constantly.

"Hey, you guys," Zacky spoke up suddenly. He'd been reading the latest issue of Revolver Magazine, not even bothering to acknowledge our situation, but rather considering it as another one of our annual arguments. Only this time, Michelle was leaving. "You're not going to believe who got the main article in this issue."

"Who?" Johnny questioned, thinking it was going to be something completely random. He threw the magazine down - already open to the page he was referring to - onto the small glass table in between the lawn chairs for everyone to see. Lacey Franklin, Johnny's girlfriend, gasped, and everyone looked over at her to see what was causing her reaction. Her expression was somewhere between shocked and sympathetic.

"Do you guys not know who this is?" she asked, pointing to a rather attractive young woman in the center of the picture on the page from where she sat on a black leather sofa surrounded by four guys. The woman appeared to be very young - maybe not even a woman yet. She was very attractive, to say the least. There was something about her, though, that seemed familiar, but I couldn't place exactly what that was.

"Matt," Val said after a moment of looking at the picture. "Sit down, honey." She ushered him into a lawn chair as she placed herself beside him. He slowly obeyed, staring at her, his eyes locked with hers.

"What's going on? What is it?" Matt asked, full of nothing but concern now. As was I and the others who hadn't recognized the woman.

"You, honestly, don't recognize that girl, do you?" Val asked again, handing Matt the magazine. Zacky's expression deepened when he realized that Matt truly didn't know who it was. He glanced at me as I pleaded for help to know why this girl was so important. Of course, she was quite attractive, but I figured us guys would only acknowledge that. The only thing that I found strange was Val's and Lacey's apprehension toward the picture.

"Does she not remind you of someone?" Lacey asked Matt. What was she getting at? Jimmy, Johnny, and I glanced at Val, Lacey, and Zacky - the only ones with the answer. They held their gaze on Matt. Why did this only revolve around Matt? Why did this concern him more than anyone else?

"Matt," Val finally sighed and knelt down beside him. Lacey and Zacky held their breaths, breathing in at the exact moment that Val said Matt's name. "It's..." She stuttered and glanced at Zacky and Lacey, then back at Matt. "Honey, it's, um... it's Abby." My heart stopped at that very second. Matt dropped the magazine in utter shock. Jimmy and Johnny stared at each other for a moment. Val gripped Matt's arm, obviously, afraid of what he would do next. I was stunned myself.

If this was the same Abby that I was thinking of, my life had just hit a point of no return. Abby, Matt's younger sister, was the number one girl in all of our lives when we were teenagers. She had our hearts, but she had more than that of mine. Even though she was four years younger than me, she was the most beautiful creation I'd ever seen. Now that I see this picture of her, I can't explain how I feel, and how much her beauty has done nothing but flourish. She's matured and aged in such a magnificent way that I can't even begin to use human words to describe her. She was what I compared every girl I'd ever been with to, but not even Michelle could hold a flame to her.

It's been eight long years since any of us have seen or heard from her. Now that it comes to mind, I've seen her in magazines before. How could I be that close to her and not know it? Have Zacky and the others known this the entire time?

"You've probably seen her in magazines before and doing other things, too, but it just occurred to me who she really was," Val added.

"I read the article," Zacky continued.

"Grams and Gramps told me that she lived somewhere in Vegas now, and that she was in a band. They said that she calls from time to time so they don't worry about her, but it's never from the same number," Matt said. He sighed after a moment of silence. "She's my baby sister, you guys. I have to find her. I have to talk to her."

"I know, Matt, but you know that there's no solitary way to contact her," Val said.

"I know that, Val, but just look at her! She's all grown up, and I've missed every second of it! She's out on her own, now, in some strange state with her own band!" Matt declared.

"So we've noticed. By the way, they're signed to Warner Bros. Records. We share the same record company," Zacky said. All went silent. "What?" Zacky asked after everyone's eyes had been resting on him for a good while.

"Zacky! You're genius! Maybe we can talk to her through the company," Matt suggested. I was in hysterics. By now, Michelle and Leana MacFadden, Jimmy's fiance, were standing in the doorway.

"Do you think she'll want to see us?" I asked, extremely unsure of what they would say. We left her heartbroken, begging us not to leave. Well, only I knew that, but that was only because I understood her more than the others did. Would she refuse to see us or would she be delighted to reunite with us? Was I crazy for even thinking about these possibilities?

"Of course she'll want to see us, Bri! It's been almost a decade since we've said a word to her! She was your best friend. Don't you miss that?" Matt asked. I was silent for a moment. What could I say that wouldn't give away everything that I felt about Abby?

"I've missed her this entire time. I mean, which one of us hasn't?" I knew, though, that I missed her more then any of them. Except for Matt, of course.

Every time I was with a girl, I would pretend that she was Abby just so I could make the most of the experience. I always pictured Abby as my soul mate, the one that would be my first for everything, because I had true feelings for Abby that were unlike those that I had felt for Michelle. Matt would've killed me if I'd so much as have even looked at his sister in a sexual way. I tried not to see her like that just so I wouldn't have to feel his wrath, but I, sometimes, let the beast inside of me out no matter who was around or who saw it. Although, at times, I would just sit and think about her and wonder if she felt the way for me that I did for her. After a while, when I would come to my senses, I would punish myself for letting it even cross my mind.

"I'll call Larry," Leana offered cheerfully. She smiled at Jimmy who smiled back. Larry Jacobson was our manager.

"Disgusting," Michelle said under her breath. I knew she was talking about Abby. Even when we were growing up, she was envious of Abby because I spent so much time with her. She never admitted it, but I knew it was true. Even though I wasn't hers anymore, the grudge, obviously, still remained. She was lucky that no one but me had heard her. Although, I took it offensive as well.

"That would be great. Thanks, Leana," Matt said.

"No problem," she said before walking back down the hallway and disappearing down the stairs.

"So, what, exactly, is the name of her band?" Matt asked Zacky in particular.

"You're not going to believe this one." Zacky said with a smirk.

"Just get to the damn point!" Johnny shouted.

"It's Chapter Four," he answered. Matt's grin widened. Seeing as we'd written a song called Chapter Four, Matt must've been relating that to the name of her band. Could she have named her band after our song?

"Maybe she's been keeping up with us," Matt said. He smiled. "Well, it looks like we have something very important to take care of, so I'm going to get started," he said, standing up from the lawn chair he'd been sitting in.

"Guys!" Leana shouted as she ran up the stairs, clutching her cell phone in her hand. The others smiled at each other. Everyone else had high hopes about this whole situation, but I myself wasn't so sure about it all. Maybe, though, things would turn out okay. Maybe we would be reunited with a little part of the past.