You Are Exactly My Brand of Heroin

Once I heard Matt and Val leave the house, grumbling and groaning the entire time about how it was too early to even think about getting up and how much of a headache they both had, I swiftly crawled out of my bed that I hadn't slept in at all and ran over to Brian's room. I quietly opened the door to hear his soft snoring and find him sound asleep in his bed. He laid on his stomach with his face to the right side of the bed where I always used to sleep whenever we slept with each other. At least he was thinking of me, right? I smiled to myself as I climbed into the bed next to him. I brushed his black hair away from his face as he groaned and tossed a bit, his eyes creeping open ever so slightly.

"Abbs, what are you doing in here? Your brother's going to kill us if he finds us together," he said groggily. I smirked.

"He and Val left just a few minutes ago to visit with his parents," I said disgusted. Brian smiled up at me as he stroked my hip. He'd always found it strange that I used the term "his" rather than "our", seeing as Matt was my brother and they were my parents, but they wanted nothing to do with me so why even consider them to be my parents when they didn't even consider me to be their daughter?

"Did you sleep well, babe?" Brian asked me. I shook my head and laid my head on the pillow next to him.

"No. I didn't sleep at all 'cause you weren't there," I pouted. He smiled brightly at me and rolled onto his side, opening his arms for me.

"But I'm here now." I smiled at him and cuddled into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. He kissed the top of my head before resting his chin on there. He rubbed my back as I traced the outlines of his enormous, tattooed arms.

"Brian, we can't go to sleep. We have to go buy paint and pick up Cam and the Berrys," I said into his chest as I rested my eyes. I was rather tired, to be honest, and being in his arms just made it all the more easier to fall asleep but I knew I couldn't.

He moaned and said, "I don't feel like painting right now, and I'm sure Cam and the Berrys would agree with me, especially at this time of the morning."

"Bri, it's ten thirty, and if you'll get up, I'll drive and you can sleep in the passenger seat," I said as I shoved him onto his back so that I could straddle him as I kissed down his bare chest.

"I'll need more convincing," he said. I smiled as I moved back up his chest to nibble on his ear.

"I'll race you to the shower," I whispered. His eyes shot open as I crawled off of him and ran out of the room, Brian hot on my tail. I rand down the hall, giggling as he ran after me, but then I realized that I was completely unfamiliar with Matt's house and had no clue where the bathroom was. I stopped in the middle of the hall, looking around as Brian stopped behind me.

"Dammit," I muttered. Brian chuckled from behind me as he wrapped his arms around my waist and spun me around to face him.

"This is where I have the upper hand," he said smartly before picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder. I continued to giggle the entire time he carried me, begging him to put me down but he refused, until he sat me down in the enormous bathroom, closing and locking the door behind us before walking over to the shower to turn it on. As he did so, I began to peel off last night's clothing that still smelled like him.

"God, I feel disgusting," I said as I unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans, pulling them to the floor. I felt eyes watching me and I looked over at Brian to find him staring at me. I smiled and said, "What? Why are you staring at me?" He shook his head as he walked back over to me.

"No reason, it's just that you're so beautiful it's hard to keep my eyes off of you." I smirked as I turned around for him to unclasp my bra that I was too lazy to remove myself.

"Don't flatter yourself, Haner," I said as my bra fell to the floor and I turned to face him.

"How can I flatter myself when I know it's true and so do you?" he asked me as he softly kissed my lips. He, soon, locked our lips in a heated kiss as we both disposed of our underwear. I jumped into his arms and wrapped my legs around his waist as he stepped into the shower. He pressed my back against the cool tile of the shower, causing me to briefly lose my breath at the sudden contact and also causing goosebumps to rise on my skin. He smiled into our kiss as I regained my breath. I tore away from our kiss to travel down his neck, sucking and nibbling on his skin. Moments later, Brian began shaking his head vigorously and backed away from me, my body still wrapped around his. I was a bit taken back but said nothing until he explained.

"No, Abby. We can't do this here," he sighed. "If I'm going to be the one to take your innocence then I want it to be perfect and everything you've ever dreamed of, and quite frankly, a shower isn't very romantic," he chuckled. I smiled at him knowing that he was right and I couldn't change his mind no matter what. This really lied in his hands, and I had no control over it. I was ready and he knew that, but he wouldn't be ready to go through with it until the time and setting was right.

"I understand, and I completely agree with you," I said. He kissed my lips softly before setting me down.

"I knew you would."

Brian and I finished our shower and stepped out. He handed me a towel to wrap around myself while he wrapped one around his waist. While I blow-dried my hair, he shaved his face, but we seemed to have a mirror sharing issue like we always had when we were younger. Brian and I were both very skeptical about our appearances, and when you put the both of us in a bathroom together trying to primp simultaneously, you got yourself a disaster. We, normally, fought and yelled and screamed at each other like there was no tomorrow, but since Garrett and Ciara were still asleep, we resorted to doing other things to each other. Occasionally, Mr. Haner's towel would "accidentally" fall to the floor, giving me something to look at and consuming more of his time, but he always got me back. Right after I'd get him good, he'd "accidentally" pinch my ass and cause me to drop the blow-dryer, also giving him something to look at and also consuming more of my time. Pay back's a bitch, but it's also quite entertaining. Around eleven twenty-five, Brian and I both left the bathroom, all the while Brian ripping my towel off until we got to our rooms.

Once inside my room, I changed into a regular white tank top and a pair of tight, black boy shorts. Aren't we just gonna have loads of fun today? I tied my hair up and slipped on a pair of flip-flops as Brian walked into my room, a whiff of his cologne drifting over to me. I smiled at him through the mirror as he plopped down on the bed, wearing a sleeveless jersey and a pair of basketball shorts. I spritzed some perfume on myself and did a quick check over my ensemble in the full-length mirror by the bed.

"Damn, babe. You look hot," Brian said from behind me.

"That's your judgment on my ass," I said as I pulled one of my shoes off and threw it at him. He laughed.

"That may be so, but you look gorgeous all the time, baby," he said as he dropped my shoe on the floor for me to slip it back on.

"Nice try, suck-up. Let's go," I said as he stood up and I kissed his lips. He smiled and grabbed my hand as I lead the both of us out the door. We walked downstairs, into the kitchen. I grabbed two bottles of water from the refrigerator, handing one to Brian, as he grabbed the keys to his Escalade that Leana had brought back to us early this morning. He stopped me at the door as the both of us began to leave, telling me to open my hand so he could drop the keys into it.

"You said you'd drive." I simply rolled my eyes and left the house. "I love you, baby," he said with a goofy smile as we climbed into his car and left Matt's driveway. I couldn't help but smile back at him.

"I love you, too, honey." We drove the rest of the way in non-stop argument. On one hand I was fighting with Brian over the radio and on the other, he was directing me to Cam's house. After what seemed like forever, we finally made it to Cam's rather large and very beautiful house. I parked in the driveway as Brian climbed out to fetch Cam. As soon as he'd left the vehicle, my phone began playing Disturbed's Inside the Fire.

"Hello?" I said as I answered Taylor's call.

"I'm so sorry, Abby! I really didn't mean for it to slip, but it did and he knows and -" Taylor blurted.

"Wait," I said as I cut her off, knowing damn well that she was talking about letting mine and Brian's secret slip once again. "Who did you tell?" Taylor sighed.

"Zack. I'm so sorry, Abby. I'm so stupid. I was just talking about you two being together for the whole painting thing and it kinda slipped. He promised not to tell anyone, but if he totally fucks everything up then I'll take the full blame for it." I sighed. Seven down the rest of the human population to go.

"Don't be, Tay. It's fine, really. I'm sure Brian was going to tell Zack in due time, anyway."

"Okay. I'm really sorry, Abbs, and I'll make it up to you."

"There's really no need for that, Tay, and you don't have to apologize. Accidents happen, ya know? Anyway, Brian's coming so I'll talk to you later." I hung up the phone before she could say anything more as Brian climbed into the car beside me, ending the call he'd just been engaged in.

"Taylor told Zack," he said smoothly. He was, obviously, upset, and I was upset because he was upset. He really didn't want this to get to Matt before the right time came about for him to know about us, and neither did I.

"I know. Taylor called to apologize to me," I said lowly, feeling like I'd completely betrayed him. I promised that the girls wouldn't tell, and Taylor let it slip! The tables seem to be turning, don't they?

"Zack called me to tell me that he knew it all along, that he could see that there was something between us," Brian said, becoming rather aggravated. I sighed as I stared out the window. "You know, I don't think those friends of yours realize just how close they are to ruining a perfectly good relationship."

"My friends?! You can't just fucking blame this on my friends, Brian! This involves both of us! What's mine is yours, baby! Remember: I love you?! Obviously not because you don't realize that we don't do much to hide ourselves from Matt either! You don't realize that we're more apt to give ourselves away then they are!" I shouted as I whipped around to face him. I laid my head on the steering wheel as the tears began to form in my eyes and Brian began his lecture on me.

"Maybe if they knew what trust is and maybe if they knew how to keep secrets maybe they wouldn't be so fucking stupid and do stupid shit like this! Yes, I realize that we don't hide all that much from Matt, but you know what? I'll be damned if he knows about us before we both feel that it's the right time to tell him. He's one of my best fucking friends, Abby, and so are you. I'm only doing this so that I don't lose the both of you." He sighed. "Abby, do you realize just how much of our future is in their hands?!"

"You know what, Brian? Maybe you should realize that those girls don't wanna keep secrets anymore because of what I've already done to them by keeping you and all the other guys a secret! Maybe you shouldn't give two fucks about what Matt thinks and do what you feel is right for something you care about. Brian, you're not going to lose either of us. The worst thing that could happen is that you and Matt wouldn't talk for a while, but you know what? With time, Matt would give in and learn to deal with us being together and the two of you would have a perfectly healed relationship again. Why can't you accept that? Yes, I understand that's going to be emotionally grueling but it'll have the outcome we're looking for and I'll be there with you every step of the way. We both know that this isn't going to be easy. Hiding it is easier than admitting it, but if you can't accept a little pain and a little disturbance to make what you've always wanted a blissful reality for the both of us then you can go crawling back to Michelle and be the low-life, egotistical rock star that you are!" I shouted back at him as I climbed out of the car, slamming the door. I leaned against the car and slid down to the ground as the tears came flooding down my cheeks.

We'd just hurt each other greatly, and that had never happened before. As friends, we thought that we could never hurt each other and that was true - we couldn't, but as lovers, we could break each other's heart in a matter of minutes. In my mind, a question arose that was very critical to mine and Brian's relationship and once that we never hoped to face the reality of: friends or lovers? How are we better off? I, immediately, shoved that question aside as I discovered it only made me cry harder. This is only one fight. All couples have their problems, and we can fix this, right? Why am I so worried? Are we this emotionally unstable and fragile or is it just because of the secrecy?

"Abby," Brian's voice spoke softly from in front of me. I uncovered my face to find him knelt down before me, his eyes filled with concern, sadness, and regret. "Abby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean all those things I said -"

"Save it Brian. You've done enough damage already. Let's just get Cam and the Berrys and get this painting shit over with," I said as I stood up and climbed back into the car, leaving him out on the driveway.

This was, in fact, only one fight, but how were we supposed to resolve this? It was our first real fight as boyfriend and girlfriend, and because of our long history as friends, it dug deep rather than just scratching the surface. I'd really hurt Brian, but he'd really hurt me. He made it seem as though all of this was completely my fault that everyone was finding out about us. Our relationship was in no jeopardy, at least not from what I could see, but Brian wasn't really out to protect our relationship. In the long run, he knew that he could salvage our relationship but he wasn't quite so sure about his and Matt's relationship. Matt was my brother and I know him very well, as does Brian, and we both know that he's a very forgiving person. He'll quickly become accustomed to us. Brian has always been one to believe that love don't cost a thing, but in our case, this whole losing us thing is convincing him that it does. Something is convincing Brian that he has to choose between me and Matt, and if I can do anything about it, and I can, Brian will get a perfect relationship with the both of us that will last forever and there won't be any choosing to it.