You Are Exactly My Brand of Heroin

The windows inside the master bathroom of the Haner household had begun to glaze over with a light fog as several anxious women worked frivolously within the room. It was, by no means, small, but the chaos occurring within its walls was enough to create even this slightest disturbance in the temperature of the room. I sat next to Leana on a small granite bench between the matching shower and jacuzzi bathtub as I patiently waited for Lacey, Natalie, and Ciara to finish what they had started. Val stood between the three of them in a stunning wedding gown that any woman would've felt privileged to wear, much less afford. Outside, most of the wedding party, except for Matt and a couple of others, waited just as patiently to see the wedding dress. Question after question about the wedding had risen to my immediate thoughts countless times that day, and I wasn't hesitant to ask any of them. This particular question, though, that should've been asked many weeks ago was one that I had hoped would've been answered for me, but it was to no avail. I sighed heavily, not sure if I should ask it or wait and find out for myself, but I knew the suspense would kill me. Silence settled between all of us, giving me the perfect opportunity.

"I hope you don't mind me asking, but who are the Maid of Honor and the Best Man, exactly?" I asked. Everyone in the room stopped to stare at me. I, immediately, felt stupid and wished that I hadn't asked the question.

Val smiled weakly at me and said, "Well, Michelle is my Maid of Honor, and Jimmy is Matt's Best Man." It didn't surprise me at all that Val had chosen her twin sister to be her Maid of Honor, and I most definitely expected Jimmy to be my brother's Best Man. They'd been best friends for many, many years. "I thought someone would've told you, so I didn't mention it. I didn't think you wanted to hear much about her. I'm so sorry, Abby."

I returned Val's generous gesture and replied, "Don't be sorry, honey. It's fine. She's your sister, and even though we have our differences, I should respect that." She smiled once again and began slipping her heels on along with her jewelry. Once she had left the room to present herself to everyone outside with help from Lacey and Natalie, Ciara walked over to me and Leana, taking a seat next to me.

"It's your turn, sweetheart," she said brightly. Staring at her with a reluctant expression, I sighed and stood up to follow her over to the counter where a gorgeous silver dress hung next to the mirror. Ciara delicately removed the straps from the hanger and handed the silk material to me.

"Are we all wearing dresses like this one?" I asked incredulously. It was amazingly beautiful, and it must've cost Val a fortune.

Ciara nodded and said, "We've all tried ours on, except for you, of course." Within moments, my body was silhouetted in the flowing material. The dress was truly extravagant, but it framed my body and matched my complexion perfectly. Ciara grabbed my hand, pulling me away from my captivating reflection and led me out into the crowd of people. The soft chatter that had filled the room moments before my entrance subsided quickly as everyone's eyes came to rest on me.

"Oh, Abby...," Suzy breathed as she walked over to me. I smiled faintly, feeling every ounce of blood that flowed through my veins gather in my cheeks.

"You look astonishing - just how I pictured it would fit the other girls," Val said.

"Do you like it?" Lacey questioned. I glanced around at everyone in the room, my eyes finally coming to rest on Brian, but his eyes were elsewhere. They roamed my body, taking in every inch of my figure. He swallowed hard before meeting my eyes. His body language and expression were both nervous, a very familiar feeling. It reminded me of the first time he'd ever made love to me. He was hesitant but in control at the same time. In this very moment, he was hesitant to meet my eyes, but he was completely in control of the warm tingling sensation building between my legs. My mind warped back to the present, my eyes leaving his. The feeling quickly died, giving me a sense of normalcy.

I smiled at Lacey and replied, "Yes. Yes, I love it. Val, you couldn't have picked a more beautiful dress."

"Well, I had to find something that was modern and trendy yet comfortable and cheap. Besides, it looked absolutely amazing on Leana, and she's pregnant."

"There's no need to make fun of pregnant women," Leana said as she emerged from the bathroom to stand by Jimmy. "You'll be one too someday."

"Hopefully later than sooner," Val muttered as she adjusted her dress. I simply rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest. Matt and Val had been talking about having children for years, and I knew that they would have at least two of them within the next year and a half. "Why don't you go downstairs and show your brother your dress? He hasn't seen that one yet, you know." I nodded at Val and made my way to the door where Brian coincidently happened to be standing. Time seemed to completely stop as I strode past him, my fingers gently brushing against his. The electricity that generated between our bodies was intense, and I missed it more than anything. I had to control myself, though. I couldn't go back to him, but when his hand wrapped around my thin wrist, ceasing my steps, I knew I was going to drown. Sure enough, I did - inside of those chocolate brown pools. He stared at me for a moment then brought my hand to his lips, kissing the back of it warmly. Every muscle in my body relaxed, but my mind seemed to be in a daze. Being this close to him, feeling his warm breath on my skin, smelling the scent of his enticing cologne made me weak in the knees. I wanted to walk away so badly, but I couldn't. My feet wouldn't carry me to my destination. It was as if the GPS inside my brain had changed course, bringing me back to him where I knew I truly belonged. I couldn't do this here, though, not now.

"You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." His voice was like velvet, soft as it caressed my senses. My breath hitched in my throat as it lightly touched my ear drums for the first time in so many hours. I was rendered speechless, but the daze didn't last long.

Quickly recuperating from my senses, I whispered, "Brian, I... I can't... not here... I have to, I have to go. I'm sorry." I wrenched my wrist from his grasp, but he quickly reached out for me, grabbing me once again.

"Can we, please, talk about this?" Lacey's words haunted my mind. Set aside the grudge. I couldn't resist him this time. He was pleading for me to give him the slightest chance, and who was I to deny it to him? He'd reconciled, and it was time to reward him for that.

Regardless of the anger I still harbored, I fought back the tears and said, "Yes."

His features never quivered as he replied, "Meet me on the beach behind my house tonight." I nodded and walked away without another word. My heart pounded so hard inside my chest it ached and burned, and I was sure it would burst out of my chest at any moment. My breaths were ragged and uneven, claiming my lungs at unusual times as I bounded down the stairs to the living room where Zack, Matt, and Papa Gates sat watching a baseball game on the television.

"Are you alright, Abby?" Zack asked as I plopped down between he and Matt.

I nodded and swallowed hard. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."

"You talked to Brian, didn't you," Papa Gates said more than asked. I nodded again, my heart beat slowing, my breaths becoming more controlled. "What did he say?"

"He asked me to meet him on the beach behind his house tonight so we could talk about our situation."

"Did you agree to meet him?" Zack asked. I simply nodded. I was at a loss for anything else to say. Simple answers had always been the best ones.

"You'll figure this out, Abbs," my brother said as he kissed the top of my head, pulling me into his side so he could put his arm around me. "Nice dress, by the way. I like it. Is it your bride's maid dress?" I'd forgotten all about showing Matt the dress. I nodded for the umpteenth time. "How does Val's dress look?"

"Nice try, bro," I said as I sat up. "Your wedding's in two days. I'm pretty sure you can wait until then to see it."

He sighed in defeat and said, "Fine. I'll wait, fun sucker."

"I hope you don't mind me asking, son, but what the hell is a fun sucker?" Papa Gates asked. The three of us burst into hysterical laughter. Puzzledly, he asked, "What? What did I say?"

"Nothing, Pops. Just watch the game," Zack replied between gasps.

"Speaking of the game, do you guys mind if I stay down here while they finish up?" I asked, gesturing toward the staircase. "Not at all" seemed to be the consensual answer, so I nestled into my brother's side once again, making myself comfortable as I spent quality time with three men that I loved very much.