You Are Exactly My Brand of Heroin
You Are Exactly My Brand of Heroin.
Darkness shaded all traces of life as I lowered my foot onto the gas pedal of my brother's Mercedes-Benz. The air that flowed through the vents inside the vehicle was frigid and bitter as it seeped through my clothing, leaving my skin as cold as ice. The streets were barren and empty, creating a sense of desolation. All that was visible lied within the range of the light that poured from the headlights of the car. I sighed heavily, knowing I wasn't prepared for what I was about to do. Brian had only been out of my sight for a few restless hours, but I was already dreading seeing him again. I didn't want to cry anymore, but I knew I would. I was madly in love with this man, and he'd betrayed me. I had so many things to say, so many emotions to express to him that I could hardly contain myself, but I held my composure as I parked the vehicle in his driveway. I turned the ignition off and checked my appearance in the rear view mirror. I looked perfectly fine, but I knew it really didn't matter. After all of the tears I'd shed, my appearance would be the last thing I'd be concerned about. Sighing once more, I climbed out of the car and began my trek into Brian's backyard, my wedges sinking into the sand. The wind caressed my body, hugging every curve. The scent of the salty ocean filled my nostrils, creating comfortability just before the rain began to fall. Could this get any worse?
My question was answered as I arrived at the deck in Brian's backyard only to find him standing there waiting for me. The rain was falling so hard and so quickly that it had already soaked through his white T-shirt, exposing his excellently toned torso. He flashed that same crooked grin that made me weak in the knees and looked away from me for a brief moment, giving me time to take a look at myself. The dandelion yellow T-shirt dress that I'd been wearing all day clung to my body, leaving my black bra and matching panties overly exposed. Our eyes met once again, and he offered his hand to me. I, gratefully, took it and carefully climbed the wet steps to follow him inside. Silence surrounded us as we entered the house. I slipped my wedges off and placed them by the sliding glass doors as Brian closed them behind me.
"So much for the beach, huh?" he said casually as he walked into the bathroom down the hall, returning with two towels. I nodded and smiled, taking the one he offered to me. He turned and sauntered into the dining room, removing his shirt and jeans. I took the opportunity to undress without having him watch me, placing my dress and my bra and panties into one pile. He returned to the kitchen just as I secured the towel around my thin frame. "Do you want something to wear?"
I shook my head and replied, "I'm fine, Brian. Besides, I'd smell like you, and I wouldn't want anyone to suspect something." In reality, I would've loved to wear his clothing. I craved his scent, and I wouldn't have minded if anyone thought that I slept with him. I was trying so hard to be strong and defiant, but I was only sounding rude. I couldn't help it, though. He'd hurt me, and I was expressing my anger.
Brian sighed heavily and walked over to me. "Abby, I love you, and I am so, so sorry for what I've done to you. I didn't want to do it, much less did I mean to do it. I know that words can't express my regret, but I wish you could somehow understand what I'm trying to tell you. I'm tired of not being able to touch you, to make love to you when I want. I'm tired of not waking up next to you every morning and spending the entire day with you. If you were to take anything away from this, I would want it to be that you're the one for me, Abby. I slept with Michelle out of lust and stupidity. I made a mistake that is unforgivable in my eyes, but it would mean the world to me if I could have you back. You don't understand what it's like to spend two and a half grueling months without you." Tears began to stream down my cheeks, but the anger flowed even faster.
"You don't understand what it's like to find the man of your dreams sleeping with his ex-girlfriend! You don't know what it's like to love someone for years so much that it hurts then have to leave them in the blink of an eye because they betrayed you! You don't know what it's like to crave the touch, the scent of a man! You don't know what it's like to watch your best friend have the life you wish you had all because her significant other is faithful! You don't know what it's like wish you could get on a plane and fly back to the man you love! You don't know what it's like to pretend you don't exist! You don't know what it's like to hate you when I'm so in love with you! You don't know how hard it is to be so rude to you when all I want is for you to hold me in your arms again! You don't know what it's like to be so strong when I'm so tired of being away from you, and you most certainly don't know what it's like to be away from you for two and a half months!" By now, I was hysterical. I had no control over the tears leaking from my eyes. Brian stared at me in wonder for a moment, realizing just how much I suffered while I was away. He tried so hard to find the right words to say, but nothing he had to offer seemed to equal my pain. Finally, I sighed and wiped my eyes as I said, "I love you, Brian, and I want to be with you, but I can't let you do this to me again."
"I promise I won't, Abby. I swear. Just, please, forgive me. Please say you'll forgive me," he begged as he walked over to me, placing his hands on either side of my face. I closed my eyes for a moment, leaning into his touch.
Swallowing hard, I whispered, "Yes, I forgive you." I opened my eyes to find Brian smiling at me. I smiled back at him just as our lips met. The electricity was even more intense this time than it had ever been before. The hunger for each other's touch was undeniable as I tangled my hands in his damp hair. Heat and passion emanated from our bodies as I wrapped my legs around Brian's waist, and he carried me upstairs. With each step, an article of clothing disappeared. By the time we reached the room, neither of us were wearing anything. Not in the least bit concerned about closing the door behind him, Brian hurried over to the bed where he carefully laid my body. He hovered over me, his fingers lightly brushing the skin on my cheek, my collarbone, between my breasts, and that of my abdomen. I bit my lower lip, harboring my moans as he traced my folds.
Smiling up at me, he said, "I missed doing this to you."
As he climbed on top of me, parting my legs with his knee, I added, "I missed letting you do this to me." He chuckled as he buried his face into my neck, sucking and nibbling on all the right places. It was unbelievable how he remembered the curves and contours of my body. He knew just how it functioned and exactly how I liked to be touched. Sweat began to drip from every inch of my skin as the friction between our bodies increased. The heat exuding from Brian's body, the scent of his skin drove my senses crazy. His lips left my neck, placing butterfly kisses along my collarbone, brushing against my nipples. The pleasure building in my lower abdomen was almost unbearable as my body craved for a release. Loud moans escaped my lips as Brian continued to entice all of my senses, preparing my body for his entry. He placed his lips on mine, biting on my lower lip as he began to gently stroke my clit with his erect member. A wave of pleasure washed over me that was so strong I was absolutely certain I was going to faint from the intensity. The tightness and the tingling sensation in my lower abdomen increased ten fold as he began to stroke harder and faster. I whimpered as I bucked my hips, begging for his entry. He smiled into my lips as he intertwined our hands above my head, relieving the strain on the sheets I'd been tearing at. His strokes began to slow as he lowered his tip to my entrance, teasing me as he swirled around it. I could feel the orgasm building, but Brian was enjoying teasing me too much at the moment to give me a release I so desperately needed. Patience was wearing thin, and I could feel that he, too, was desperate for a release as he throbbed inside me. Bucking my hips once again, I could take it no longer, and neither could he. With one heavy thrust, he pounded into me, sending shock waves of pleasure to the core of my being. Our breathing grew ragged as he continued to thrust into me, my walls pleading to close around him. My heart rate increased along with the tension in my lower abdomen, and with one more quick draw, my walls collapsed, the orgasm locked up inside me exploding like dynamite. Loud moans and screams meshed with each other's names echoed inside the room as Brian found his release and our orgasms diminished.
Sighing contentedly, Brian laid next to me, neither of us saying anything as we gasped for air. The scent of sex surrounded us, sweat drenching our bodies and the sheets, our muscles aching with pleasure. I wanted to bask in this moment forever. It was absolute bliss. I'd just made love to the man of my dreams for the first time in so long, and it was the most amazing feeling I'd ever been so privileged to feel. Taking deep, relaxing breaths, I rolled onto my stomach, facing Brian. He glanced over at me as he placed his folded arms behind his head.
"I hope that was as good for you as it was for me," he said.
I smiled and leaned over to kiss his lips a few times, resting my head on his warm chest. "Believe me, honey, it was amazing. It was everything I'd been missing."
"I'm glad you forgave me," he replied after a moment of silence as he wrapped an arm around me, stroking my back.
"I am, too. I know you didn't intend to hurt me, and it's not fair to you that I hold a grudge. I love you. You're the only man I've ever loved and ever will love."
He stared down at me for a moment, searching for any sign of anything but sincerity before he smiled and said, "I love you, too, and I hope you remember that. I couldn't live without you, Abby. It's almost as if I'm addicted to you. You're like a drug to me. You... You are exactly my brand of heroin, Abigail Sanders, and I'd be in Hell without you." I'd never heard anything so beautiful. I'd never heard anyone speak to me the way Brian had, and it brought tears of joy to my eyes. I paraded him with kisses, and all he could do was laugh.
"I love you, Brian Haner, Jr., and... and... I-I don't know what else to say."
He laughed once again and answered, "Just keep your love for me close to the surface."
Furrowing my brows, I asked, "Why?"
"You'll need it soon." I wasn't quite sure what Brian was talking about, but it excited me. Something about what he said left me wondering just what was going on in that mind of his. Little did I know, the answer was closer than I could ever imagine.
My question was answered as I arrived at the deck in Brian's backyard only to find him standing there waiting for me. The rain was falling so hard and so quickly that it had already soaked through his white T-shirt, exposing his excellently toned torso. He flashed that same crooked grin that made me weak in the knees and looked away from me for a brief moment, giving me time to take a look at myself. The dandelion yellow T-shirt dress that I'd been wearing all day clung to my body, leaving my black bra and matching panties overly exposed. Our eyes met once again, and he offered his hand to me. I, gratefully, took it and carefully climbed the wet steps to follow him inside. Silence surrounded us as we entered the house. I slipped my wedges off and placed them by the sliding glass doors as Brian closed them behind me.
"So much for the beach, huh?" he said casually as he walked into the bathroom down the hall, returning with two towels. I nodded and smiled, taking the one he offered to me. He turned and sauntered into the dining room, removing his shirt and jeans. I took the opportunity to undress without having him watch me, placing my dress and my bra and panties into one pile. He returned to the kitchen just as I secured the towel around my thin frame. "Do you want something to wear?"
I shook my head and replied, "I'm fine, Brian. Besides, I'd smell like you, and I wouldn't want anyone to suspect something." In reality, I would've loved to wear his clothing. I craved his scent, and I wouldn't have minded if anyone thought that I slept with him. I was trying so hard to be strong and defiant, but I was only sounding rude. I couldn't help it, though. He'd hurt me, and I was expressing my anger.
Brian sighed heavily and walked over to me. "Abby, I love you, and I am so, so sorry for what I've done to you. I didn't want to do it, much less did I mean to do it. I know that words can't express my regret, but I wish you could somehow understand what I'm trying to tell you. I'm tired of not being able to touch you, to make love to you when I want. I'm tired of not waking up next to you every morning and spending the entire day with you. If you were to take anything away from this, I would want it to be that you're the one for me, Abby. I slept with Michelle out of lust and stupidity. I made a mistake that is unforgivable in my eyes, but it would mean the world to me if I could have you back. You don't understand what it's like to spend two and a half grueling months without you." Tears began to stream down my cheeks, but the anger flowed even faster.
"You don't understand what it's like to find the man of your dreams sleeping with his ex-girlfriend! You don't know what it's like to love someone for years so much that it hurts then have to leave them in the blink of an eye because they betrayed you! You don't know what it's like to crave the touch, the scent of a man! You don't know what it's like to watch your best friend have the life you wish you had all because her significant other is faithful! You don't know what it's like wish you could get on a plane and fly back to the man you love! You don't know what it's like to pretend you don't exist! You don't know what it's like to hate you when I'm so in love with you! You don't know how hard it is to be so rude to you when all I want is for you to hold me in your arms again! You don't know what it's like to be so strong when I'm so tired of being away from you, and you most certainly don't know what it's like to be away from you for two and a half months!" By now, I was hysterical. I had no control over the tears leaking from my eyes. Brian stared at me in wonder for a moment, realizing just how much I suffered while I was away. He tried so hard to find the right words to say, but nothing he had to offer seemed to equal my pain. Finally, I sighed and wiped my eyes as I said, "I love you, Brian, and I want to be with you, but I can't let you do this to me again."
"I promise I won't, Abby. I swear. Just, please, forgive me. Please say you'll forgive me," he begged as he walked over to me, placing his hands on either side of my face. I closed my eyes for a moment, leaning into his touch.
Swallowing hard, I whispered, "Yes, I forgive you." I opened my eyes to find Brian smiling at me. I smiled back at him just as our lips met. The electricity was even more intense this time than it had ever been before. The hunger for each other's touch was undeniable as I tangled my hands in his damp hair. Heat and passion emanated from our bodies as I wrapped my legs around Brian's waist, and he carried me upstairs. With each step, an article of clothing disappeared. By the time we reached the room, neither of us were wearing anything. Not in the least bit concerned about closing the door behind him, Brian hurried over to the bed where he carefully laid my body. He hovered over me, his fingers lightly brushing the skin on my cheek, my collarbone, between my breasts, and that of my abdomen. I bit my lower lip, harboring my moans as he traced my folds.
Smiling up at me, he said, "I missed doing this to you."
As he climbed on top of me, parting my legs with his knee, I added, "I missed letting you do this to me." He chuckled as he buried his face into my neck, sucking and nibbling on all the right places. It was unbelievable how he remembered the curves and contours of my body. He knew just how it functioned and exactly how I liked to be touched. Sweat began to drip from every inch of my skin as the friction between our bodies increased. The heat exuding from Brian's body, the scent of his skin drove my senses crazy. His lips left my neck, placing butterfly kisses along my collarbone, brushing against my nipples. The pleasure building in my lower abdomen was almost unbearable as my body craved for a release. Loud moans escaped my lips as Brian continued to entice all of my senses, preparing my body for his entry. He placed his lips on mine, biting on my lower lip as he began to gently stroke my clit with his erect member. A wave of pleasure washed over me that was so strong I was absolutely certain I was going to faint from the intensity. The tightness and the tingling sensation in my lower abdomen increased ten fold as he began to stroke harder and faster. I whimpered as I bucked my hips, begging for his entry. He smiled into my lips as he intertwined our hands above my head, relieving the strain on the sheets I'd been tearing at. His strokes began to slow as he lowered his tip to my entrance, teasing me as he swirled around it. I could feel the orgasm building, but Brian was enjoying teasing me too much at the moment to give me a release I so desperately needed. Patience was wearing thin, and I could feel that he, too, was desperate for a release as he throbbed inside me. Bucking my hips once again, I could take it no longer, and neither could he. With one heavy thrust, he pounded into me, sending shock waves of pleasure to the core of my being. Our breathing grew ragged as he continued to thrust into me, my walls pleading to close around him. My heart rate increased along with the tension in my lower abdomen, and with one more quick draw, my walls collapsed, the orgasm locked up inside me exploding like dynamite. Loud moans and screams meshed with each other's names echoed inside the room as Brian found his release and our orgasms diminished.
Sighing contentedly, Brian laid next to me, neither of us saying anything as we gasped for air. The scent of sex surrounded us, sweat drenching our bodies and the sheets, our muscles aching with pleasure. I wanted to bask in this moment forever. It was absolute bliss. I'd just made love to the man of my dreams for the first time in so long, and it was the most amazing feeling I'd ever been so privileged to feel. Taking deep, relaxing breaths, I rolled onto my stomach, facing Brian. He glanced over at me as he placed his folded arms behind his head.
"I hope that was as good for you as it was for me," he said.
I smiled and leaned over to kiss his lips a few times, resting my head on his warm chest. "Believe me, honey, it was amazing. It was everything I'd been missing."
"I'm glad you forgave me," he replied after a moment of silence as he wrapped an arm around me, stroking my back.
"I am, too. I know you didn't intend to hurt me, and it's not fair to you that I hold a grudge. I love you. You're the only man I've ever loved and ever will love."
He stared down at me for a moment, searching for any sign of anything but sincerity before he smiled and said, "I love you, too, and I hope you remember that. I couldn't live without you, Abby. It's almost as if I'm addicted to you. You're like a drug to me. You... You are exactly my brand of heroin, Abigail Sanders, and I'd be in Hell without you." I'd never heard anything so beautiful. I'd never heard anyone speak to me the way Brian had, and it brought tears of joy to my eyes. I paraded him with kisses, and all he could do was laugh.
"I love you, Brian Haner, Jr., and... and... I-I don't know what else to say."
He laughed once again and answered, "Just keep your love for me close to the surface."
Furrowing my brows, I asked, "Why?"
"You'll need it soon." I wasn't quite sure what Brian was talking about, but it excited me. Something about what he said left me wondering just what was going on in that mind of his. Little did I know, the answer was closer than I could ever imagine.