You Are Exactly My Brand of Heroin

The magnificent sensation the human body feels when endorphins are released still coursed through my veins the following morning as I awoke from my deep slumber. I felt whole, utterly fulfilled and light-headed simultaneously. I, cautiously, sat up, hugging the sheets to my naked figure as I realized Brian was no longer by my side. I didn't fret, though. I could smell the faint scent of coffee brewing and bacon frying. I smiled to myself as I briefly closed my eyes, leaning my head against the soft pillows. As I opened my eyes once again, I noticed familiar red stains on the sheets. I sighed heavily as I brushed my hand over them, somewhat disgusted that I'd made love to Brian in the very same bed where I nearly killed his ex-girlfriend. Remembering this event, I also found that the lacerations on my knuckles had healed, leaving slowly fading scars behind. I, immediately, averted my gaze, still aware of the gaping wound that remained in the very core of my heart. I was still healing from his atrocious actions, but I was coping. I knew I would survive this. I had to.

I set aside my thoughts of the past and looked into the present. Brian and I had a rather chaotic agenda today. Tomorrow was my brother's wedding, and we had a vigorous rehearsal to attend at two. Aside from that, we were due at Zach's house for lunch, then we were having dinner at a restaurant downtown where Brian had made reservations. As I organized my ensembles for the day in my head, I prepared for a shower. I relished in the feeling of the hot water cascading over every inch of my body, relaxing every tense muscle. I felt completely renewed when I stepped out of the steam inside the shower, wrapping a towel around me as I entered Brian's room.

I found a small pile of freshly cleaned and folded clothes lying on Brian's bureau with a hand-written note on top of them. I smiled as I reached for the paper that read 'Good morning, baby.' on it in Brian's beautiful scrawl. I quickly slipped the thin lingerie on my body, knowing very well that Brian chose it for a purpose other than my wearing it, along with the black tank top, white shorts, and matching flip-flops before drying my hair. I threw it into a simple ponytail and added a bit of mascara, eyeliner, and blush to my face before walking back into Brian's room. As I passed the bureau, I noticed the note once again. After only a moment's hesitation, I neatly folded the paper and placed it in my back pocket as I left the room.

Downstairs, Brian stood in the kitchen wearing a white, sleeveless Affliction T-shirt and black basketball shorts with a black trucker cap covering his gorgeous, black hair. As I entered the room, I found that he'd not only brewed coffee and fried bacon, but he'd also fried eggs and made toast and pancakes. In all the years I'd known Brian, I never knew that he could cook. I smiled as I sauntered over to him, hugging his torso as I kissed the exposed skin on his biceps. He smiled back at me as I slipped my hands into his pockets, lightly dragging my thumbnails over the skin on his abdomen between his shirt and shorts. Shivers captured his body, and he chuckled, the vibrations echoing from deep within his chest reaching my lips that rested on his shoulder.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked.

I nodded as well as I could and answered, "Yes, I did. How did you sleep?"

"Very, very well. Thank you." He turned around in my arms, leaning against the counter behind him. He softly kissed my lips as he placed his hands in my back pockets, toying with the note he'd written for me. I felt him smile against my lips as he moved them to my neck. burying his face into my shoulder. "I see you found my note and your clothes."

I smiled and replied, "I did, and I appreciate you making a special trip to my brother's house to get them for me."

"You're welcome, babe. I made breakfast for us, too," he said as he looked down at me.

I walked over to the opposite side of the breakfast bar as Brian followed me and said, "I noticed, and it looks fantastic, honey. Thank you." I kissed his lips as we both took our seats and began eating. A comfortable silence settled over us for a moment, but I knew that there were many things Brian and I wanted to say to each other. With that being said, I decided to speak first. "Can I ask you something, Bri?" He nodded as he shoved a forkful of maple syrup-covered pancakes into his mouth. "Why did you leave those sheets on your bed?" He swallowed hard, twirling a glass of orange juice around in his hand. Brian had never been one to hide the truth from me, regardless of house difficult admitting it might be.

He sighed heavily and said, "They hold memories. I understand that some of them aren't pleasant, but many are. I just wanted to preserve them, and to be honest, I hadn't slept in them until last night. If you don't want them anymore, I can take care of that. I'll do anything as long as you're happy." I couldn't stop myself from kissing him. When Brian said things like that to me, I wondered if Michelle knew what she was missing.

"I love you," I said as he rested his hand on my thigh.

He smiled, kissing my lips once more and replied, "I love you more." As we continued eating, Brian spoke once again, "I was thinking about us this morning while I was making breakfast, and it occurred to me again that I asked you to move in with me." I, immediately, looked over at him, nearly choking on my coffee. I'd forgotten all about agreeing to move in with Brian, but now that the subject was at hand, I had to give him yet another answer.

"Brian, I told you that I would move in with you, and I meant it. I just think that I should talk to my friends about it before we make more plans." Brian had to understand that I'd made many more promises to my friends. We were a band, and their lives were back in Las Vegas. Even so, my friends had to understand that my life had always been in Huntington Beach. I belong here, and I'm not sure how I'd fare being away from this place or Brian. "Don't be disappointed, babe. I promise I'll be here." He leaned into my touch as I toyed with his hair and traced his jawline. After a moment, he took my hand in his, kissing each knuckle.

I smiled as he interlocked his fingers with mine, saying, "I know you will."

Though Brian and I quickly ate breakfast, we were still the last to arrive at Zach's house. As we exited Brian's black Escalade, he placed his hand in mine, and I smiled at him, our eyes meeting through our sunglasses. Silence engulfed the entire room as Brian and I entered Zach's kitchen, crossing into the dining room. Everyone stared at us in awe as we took our seats, which had conveniently been placed next to each other. Taylor smiled at me from where she sat across the table, her hand on Zach's knee, his arm around her shoulders. I couldn't help but smile back as Brian placed his hand on my knee and began a conversation with my brother, who sat directly next to him. Conversations began everywhere else from that moment on. It were as if they'd all expected myself and Brian to make amends, which I knew they would, and because of that, I wasn't concerned about their reactions in the least bit.

Lacey appeared behind Brian, placing a beer on the table for him before taking her seat between myself and Johnny. She flashed a devious smile in my direction, and I couldn't help but blush as she whispered, "How was the sex?"

Using the hand that wasn't placed on top of Brian's, I twirled a strand of hair around my finger and, nervously, replied, "It was amazing." Lacey laughed, and I laughed along with her, glancing at the others seated around the table. Ciara winked at me as my eyes met hers, the blood flowing to my cheeks increasing. Leana bit her lower lip and held both of her thumbs up at me, also winking, and I couldn't help but laugh. Natalie licked her lips seductively, and I simply shook my head. As I looked over at Val from where she sat on the opposite side of Matt, she cupped her hands around her mouth, her lips forming the words 'Did you suck his dick?' I pretended to be offended, my jaw dropping dramatically as I shook my head and soundlessly replied 'Not during make-up sex.' The irresistible urge to laugh coursed through mine and Val's veins as we both burst into hysterical laughter. It was uncontrollable and caught the attention of everyone around us. Brian and Matt stared at us in utter confusion as tears rolled down our cheeks due to lack of oxygen.

"Is there something you need to tell me about?" Brian asked as mine and Val's laughter subsided.

I quickly shook my head and replied, "You'll have to wait until we're alone." He raised an eyebrow at me, and I smiled seductively.

"Is that so?" he whispered as he placed soft kisses along my neck, occasionally nibbling at my skin. "What did you have in mind?"

Before I could answer, Zach inserted, "We do not exhibit foreplay at the table, children."

Brian rolled his eyes as he leaned into his chair, saying, "Fuck off, Zach."

"You're in my house, bro. You should fuck off." From that moment forward, Zach and Brian began a casual argument, giving me enough time to notice that someone was missing.

Leaning toward Lacey, I asked, "Where's Michelle?" Though I didn't particularly care for the woman, she was Val's sister, nonetheless.

"Val didn't invite her. Even though she's her sister, she didn't feel that it would be right for someone so unwanted to be in her friend's home, but she'll be at the rehearsal. I just hope you're prepared."

I sighed heavily, glancing at Brian as I said, "I hope I'm prepared, too."

Lunch lasted nearly two hours, giving us merely ten minutes to meet the minister on the beach where the ceremony would be held. Brian and I hurried over to the secluded area where the others waited while Matt and Val arrived. The rehearsal began quickly, each of us fulfilling our purposes. An hour passed, and Michelle was nowhere to be found. I was thankful that Val seemed to be distracted by Matt and the minister. We were all given a chance to relax while Matt and Val rehearsed their vows with the minister, so Brian and I opted to take a stroll down the beach. We walked slowly, our toes buried in the sand, our hands intertwined. Brian deeply inhaled on the cigarette in his opposite hand and glanced down at me, kissing the top of my head as he placed his arm around my shoulders. I sighed contentedly and buried my face into his chest as I wrapped my arms around his torso.

"The weather is perfect today," I said as I separated myself from Brian to take a seat in the sand.

He nodded as he, too, sat down, laying his head in my lap. I removed his cap as I ran my fingers through his soft, black hair. "It is." The sun had just begun to set on the horizon, creating beautiful reflections on the ocean beneath it. The time was nearing five, and we were due downtown at six, which meant that we had to leave soon. Brian briefly closed his eyes as I watched the waves crash on the shore, but a familiar laugh echoed throughout the beach. Both Brian and I were alerted to the sound and quickly looked to see if our suspicions were correct. Stumbling onto the sand in her heels with Jessica on her arm, was a very drunk Michelle. Anger flooded through my veins as I watched her and Jessica enter the area where Matt and Val were. With clenched fists, I slowly stood and fought back the irresistible urge to kill her with my bare hands. Brian stood behind me with his hands in his pockets, nervously, scratching the back of his neck. What else could he do? The anger was building, becoming more difficult to control until it completely surfaced.

"I swear to God! I'll fucking kill her!" As I began sprinting toward Michelle, Brian quickly wrapped his arms around my waist as I struggled against him. "Let me go, Brian! Let me kill her!"

He groaned as I fought against his intense grip and managed to reply, "No, Abby. You're acting childish. This has to stop."

"Why is that?" I asked as he released me. "Is it because you still love her?" Brian flinched at the venom in my words, staring anywhere but in my eyes as I realized what I'd said. I sighed heavily, placing one hand on my hip as I paced in the sand and the other on my forehead, saying, "I'm so sorry, Bri. I didn't mean it like that. I just... I was -" Tears soaked my cheeks beneath my sunglasses as I began to walk away from him. This was the first time I'd ever been speechless, at a loss for words to apologize to Brian. I said something I never would've said had I not been under these circumstances, but I'd been thinking it this entire time. I was terrified of Brian cheating on me again, especially with Michelle. The thought kept me on guard, unwilling to let Brian through, but if I were ever to grow as a person, I had to be honest with him. I'd been walking for some time now, slowly, but still, Brian hadn't come after me. I turned to find him watching me and asked, "Why aren't you coming after me?"

He shrugged. "You had every right to say what you said to me. You have every right to resent me for what I did to you. I don't expect you to instantly recover from this, Abby. Honestly, I don't expect you to recover at all. I don't expect you to forget this, but I do expect you to forgive me like you said you would." He walked over to me and placed his hands on my cheeks, wiping my tears away with his thumbs. "I love you, and you are the only woman I will ever love. Do you understand that?" I silently nodded as he enveloped me in a tight hug. I was so vulnerable in this moment that my heartache was replaced by an enormous feeling of stupidity. I felt awful for saying what I had to Brian, and I didn't deserve him. He treated me better than I'd ever been treated by anyone in my entire life, and I appreciated that more than I could express to him.

"I'm so sorry, honey. I didn't mean it. I really didn't." Brian chuckled as he softly kissed my lips, wrapping my arms around his neck as the kiss deepened. Brian moaned as I bit his lower lip, pulling away from him after a few brief kisses. "I love you, Bri."

"I love you, too, Abbs."

Brian took my hand in his as we walked back to his Escalade on the pier. "Why did you really stop me, Brian?"

He shoved his opposite hand into his pocket and said, "Though I don't love Michelle, she is Val's sister, and because I care about Val, Michelle's safety is key."

I groaned and murmured, "Safety my fucking ass. I'll catch that bitch alone, and -"

"Abby!"

Dinner was everything I imagined it would be. The food was fantastic, the conversation was lively, and the alcohol flowed continuously. Luckily, Michelle wasn't invited, allowing me to sigh in relief, but the night was bittersweet. Seeing as the following day was my brother's wedding, he and his bride-to-be were not to see each other until the ceremony, so Val was staying with Jimmy and Leana. She had a difficult time leaving Matt's side, but with a bit of encouragement, she reluctantly climbed into Jimmy's Tahoe. Matt returned to his home while the remainder followed myself and Brian back to our house for more drinks and pool.

While Brian and his friends enjoyed themselves downstairs, I grabbed a few beers and led my friends to the balcony. It was nearly midnight, and the cool ocean breeze caressed our bodies. We each took a seat on the cushioned couches and chairs as I prepared to tell them the big news. I didn't expect this to be very difficult, but I knew that after I revealed my latest plan they'd surely wonder what could possibly be wrong with me. I had always wanted everyone to be satisfied, though I knew it was virtually impossible. I always tried to please as many people as I could, but this might not be one of those times.

Logan sipped his beer and asked, "What's eating you, Abbs?"

I shook my head and replied, "I'm just fine, but there is something I need to tell all of you." They waited in silence as I cleared my throat and exhaled sharply. "Months ago, Brian asked if I would move in with him. Of course, I said yes, but you all know what happened next. Today, though, he asked me again. I've agreed to do it, but I told him that I needed to discuss it with all of you before we make more plans." They exchanged glances between one another before Brett spoke.

"We understand that you love Brian, Abby, and we know that Huntington is your hometown. We know that you miss your old life, and we all want a change. I'm sure Taylor would agree. I know she hasn't told you yet, but she also has plans to move to here with Zach. She's already discussed it with us, and we see absolutely no problem with it. Within a few weeks, we can sell our house in Vegas and buy our own here, complete with all of our belongings."

I smiled and said, "I knew you'd all be supportive of my decision, and Taylor, I'm overjoyed that you're moving in with Zach. I think you two are an amazing couple, and I wish nothing but the best for the both of you." I raised my beer in a toast. "To Zach and Taylor."

"To Brian and Abby," Taylor added.

I chuckled and added, "To all of us, and to a glorious future." Everyone repeated my words as the glass bottles in our hands collided, and we each took a sip of the liquid within them. "Even though that's mainly what I wanted to tell all of you, there's something else I need to say." They all waited for me to continue just as they had before. I sighed heavily and continued, "Seeing as we're a band and we lack a guitarist, I think it's only right that we invite Garrett to live with us." Ciara silently chewed on her lower lip as she toyed with Logan's fingers. I knew she wasn't prepared to see Garrett again after what he'd done to her, but things would change. "I understand that some of you don't quite agree with that just yet, but Garrett has apologized to me. I know that he's willing to make amends with all of you, and if you're all willing to let him do that, we can set our differences aside and return to being the friends we once were."

"I think it's the best idea you've had yet, Abby," Natalie agreed. I gratefully smiled at her. One down, five to go.

Taylor sighed and added, "He's my brother. What am I supposed to say? I'd love to have him here." Two down, four to go.

Jordan swallowed hard and replied, "Garrett's like my brother, and I can't say that I don't miss him." Three down, two to go.

"It's been a while," Logan said as he slowly shook his head. Four down, one to go. Ciara kept her gaze fixed on the floor, avoiding all eye contact with any of us. Logan softly rubbed her shoulders as he watched her every move. He was her boyfriend. He knew how much Garrett had hurt her, but he also knew that it was wrong to hold a grudge. Logan had overcome the anger he held against Taylor and Zach. He no longer seemed to resent Zach for taking his place. He was satisfied with Ciara.

She sighed heavily as she ran her fingers through her dark brown locks, obviously, fighting tears. "It's going to be hard, but I'm willing to face him if it means that we can settle this."

I smiled, finally feeling relief as I said, "Thank you. It'll be nice to have our family together again." It would definitely be nice to have our family together again, but I couldn't guarantee a family reunion until I informed Brian.