You Are Exactly My Brand of Heroin
Fear and Whiskey.
Fear seemed to be the only emotion that I felt now. I was terrified to offend Brian any more than I already had. I'd put him through enough today, but the need to tell him about my latest plan was overwhelming. I sighed as I rested my head in my hands after taking another sip of the Jack Daniels I'd been drinking. I placed the bottle at my feet just as Brian appeared at the bottom of the stairs. He smiled at me from where I sat on the landing, slowly taking a few steps toward me. He sighed as he shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, exchanging glances between myself and the bottle of whiskey.
"What could possibly be worrying you so much that you'd drink nearly an entire bottle of Jack Daniels?" he asked as he grabbed the bottle, examining the empty space within it. I said nothing as he stared down at me, offering his hand. I took it in my own and allowed him to lead me into our room. Our friends had left nearly half an hour ago, leaving us alone in our home. Brian placed the bottle on his bureau by the door, and I longingly watched after it as he brought me to our bed, suddenly growing very parched. My heart beat increased ten fold, feeling as though it would burst out of my chest at any given moment. As I sat down, Brian removed his bandana and his cap, placing them on the table next to the bed while he occasionally glanced at me. I nonchalantly toyed with stray threads on the comforter, pretending that I didn't notice his gorgeous, chocolate brown eyes watching my every move. He walked over to me, slipping his finger beneath my chin as he asked, "What is it, Abby? You know you can tell me."
I chewed on my lower lip for a moment, apprehensive of Brian's reaction, but I knew I had to tell him. "I talked to everyone about moving in with you, and they were fine with it. As it turns out, Taylor's moving in with Zach, but there's more."
Brian stared at me before asking, "What more could there possibly be?"
I sighed once again, letting my heels fall to the floor as I climbed beneath the sheets. Brian followed suit. "Garrett visited Taylor and I while we were in Vegas. Of course, he was very angry at you for doing what you had done to me. He even threatened to kill you, but I wouldn't let him. He did do something good, though. He apologized to me for everything he had ever done to you and I."
Brian didn't speak for a moment, but when he did, he asked, "Did you accept his apology?"
I nodded and replied, "Yes, I did, and because of that, myself and my friends have agreed that it's only fair that Garrett move here with us." I watched Brian intently, the blood pounding behind my ears creating the most unsettling feeling. Silence engulfed us for many minutes as Brian stared at the ceiling.
Finally, he looked at me and asked, "Do you want to know what I truly think about Garrett?" I was torn between the most simple answers on the planet, but the decision wasn't quite as difficult as others that I'd made. I simply nodded. "When I met him, I thought he was a very talented musician, but I saw nothing more in him. He had no heart, no soul, and he was after the only woman I'd ever really loved. Honestly, I hated him. He was worthless to me, and I was prepared to do anything to protect you from him. Still, I never fought back, even when he threw the first punch, because I respected your friendship with him. If there's anything I never want to do in all of my life, it would be disappointing you. It would crush me, and I knew that if I fought with Garrett I'd only be hurting myself. Still, I fear that you'll leave me for him. I fear that he has what you want, what you need. I fear that he can provide more for you than I can. I fear that he's better suited to you than I am. I fear that I'm not good enough for you, Abby."
"I see absolutely no reason for you to feel that way, because you are everything to me. You are my entire world, Brian. Everything I do, every decision I make revolves around you. I need you to breathe, I need you to survive. I wouldn't have made it this far had I not been with you. Garrett is nothing more than a friend. He will never have the ability to make me feel the way you make me feel. He will never have your intoxicating scent, your stunning smile, or your brilliant eyes. He'll never have what you have. He'll never be you. He'll never replace you, because I love you," I said as I traced his features with my fingertips. He stared at me for a moment, brushing a few strands of hair away from my eyes before connecting our lips in a very heated, passionate kiss. The kiss quickly deepened as he hovered over me, his lips exploring the skin on my neck. I moaned as his hands slipped beneath my dress, tightly gripping my thighs.
"God, you're beautiful," he whispered, his warm breath upon my neck. I smirked as he continued to remove my dress. I wasted no time disposing of his T-shirt and his jeans, leaving him in nothing more than his boxers. He continued to kiss my neck, gently nibbling on my skin. He groaned as the pleasure increased, my nails embedding in the skin on his bare back. As my back arched against his chest, he reached behind me, my bra seemingly vanishing. I could feel the orgasm building in my lower abdomen as Brian moved his attention to my chest, my hips grinding into his. I quickly removed his boxers as he tore my underwear from my hips, begging for his immediate entry. Without a moment's notice, he crashed into me, pleasure and pain finding common ground. His thrusts were so intense and harsh that it was nearly painful, but he had no intention of hurting me. He needed me just as much as I needed him. It was obvious that we were desperate for each other's touch, craving the contact, searching for a release. It seemed like only seconds had passed before an orgasm claimed my body, Brian spilling into me moments later.
Brian laid next to me, the both of us gasping for air. I sighed contentedly as I rested my head on his chest, places butterfly kisses on his skin. Beads of sweat cascaded down his abdomen as he placed his arm around my shoulders, creating an even more erotic aura around us. I traced the contours of his body, feeling the muscles beneath his skin. A comfortable silence enveloped us as I toyed with the dog tags hanging from his neck, lightly brushing my fingers over his initials on them. The scent of sex hung lowly over us, a feeling of pure ecstacy taking over. Brian stared down at me, his gaze never quivering.
I finally smiled and said, "I love you."
He simply replied, "I love you, too." This moment was pure bliss. I wished that I could stay in his arms forever. I felt complete when he held me. I felt as though I found my purpose in life when I fell in love with him. I have a reason to live because of him. I wake up every morning to his gorgeous face, and I know that I'm prepared to spend the rest of my life with him.
The Sullivan-MacFadden residence had become more of an insane asylum than a home in the past few hours. Several women hurried around the house, preparing the bride and the bride's maids for the wedding. The groom and the groom's men were preparing for the ceremony at Matt's house. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife, so I ordered a bottle of Jack Daniels and a bottle of vodka. As I quietly drank the whiskey, my BlackBerry began playing Beyonce's Ego. I reached for my cell phone to find that I had a text message from Brian.
Are you alright, baby?
With furrowed brows, I replied, I'm fine. Why do you ask?
Taylor said you were drinking again.
I searched the room for Taylor, but she was nowhere to be found. I knew that she was concerned about me, though. She'd told me so when I arrived earlier this morning after I told her about the previous night's events. Fear continued to course through my veins as I nervously awaited Michelle's arrival. I'd been on edge for hours, concerned that Michelle would test her charm on my boyfriend again at the ceremony. I truly believed that Brian loved me, but it could never diminsh the anger and resentment I held toward his ex-girlfriend. She would forever be my enemy, even if we made amends in the future. My phone rang once again as I received another message from Brian.
Don't worry about Michelle, Abby. We've already discussed this. You know how I feel.
I know, Brian, but that doesn't change anything. She'll always be your ex-girlfriend, therefore we'll never tolerate each other.
Babe, can we, please, make this a joyous occasion? Your brother's getting married, and you need to be there for him. Just relax and take a deep breath.
It'd be easier to do that if you were here.
Do you need me to come over there?
No, I'll be alright. I love you, baby.
I love you more.
I sighed as I placed my phone on the table before me, twirling a strand of my hair around my finger. Brian was right. Today was the most important day of my brother's life, and I needed to be there for him throughout the entire journey. I stared at the bottle of whiskey for a moment, contemplating taking another drink. I always drank when I was nervous. It was a terrible habit that I desperately needed to break, but there were times where I couldn't avoid reaching for the alcohol. Even so, today wasn't about me. Today was about the most amazing brother in the world taking the biggest stride in life anyone could ever take. With that being said, I set my fears and the whiskey aside and prepared for a life changing event.
"What could possibly be worrying you so much that you'd drink nearly an entire bottle of Jack Daniels?" he asked as he grabbed the bottle, examining the empty space within it. I said nothing as he stared down at me, offering his hand. I took it in my own and allowed him to lead me into our room. Our friends had left nearly half an hour ago, leaving us alone in our home. Brian placed the bottle on his bureau by the door, and I longingly watched after it as he brought me to our bed, suddenly growing very parched. My heart beat increased ten fold, feeling as though it would burst out of my chest at any given moment. As I sat down, Brian removed his bandana and his cap, placing them on the table next to the bed while he occasionally glanced at me. I nonchalantly toyed with stray threads on the comforter, pretending that I didn't notice his gorgeous, chocolate brown eyes watching my every move. He walked over to me, slipping his finger beneath my chin as he asked, "What is it, Abby? You know you can tell me."
I chewed on my lower lip for a moment, apprehensive of Brian's reaction, but I knew I had to tell him. "I talked to everyone about moving in with you, and they were fine with it. As it turns out, Taylor's moving in with Zach, but there's more."
Brian stared at me before asking, "What more could there possibly be?"
I sighed once again, letting my heels fall to the floor as I climbed beneath the sheets. Brian followed suit. "Garrett visited Taylor and I while we were in Vegas. Of course, he was very angry at you for doing what you had done to me. He even threatened to kill you, but I wouldn't let him. He did do something good, though. He apologized to me for everything he had ever done to you and I."
Brian didn't speak for a moment, but when he did, he asked, "Did you accept his apology?"
I nodded and replied, "Yes, I did, and because of that, myself and my friends have agreed that it's only fair that Garrett move here with us." I watched Brian intently, the blood pounding behind my ears creating the most unsettling feeling. Silence engulfed us for many minutes as Brian stared at the ceiling.
Finally, he looked at me and asked, "Do you want to know what I truly think about Garrett?" I was torn between the most simple answers on the planet, but the decision wasn't quite as difficult as others that I'd made. I simply nodded. "When I met him, I thought he was a very talented musician, but I saw nothing more in him. He had no heart, no soul, and he was after the only woman I'd ever really loved. Honestly, I hated him. He was worthless to me, and I was prepared to do anything to protect you from him. Still, I never fought back, even when he threw the first punch, because I respected your friendship with him. If there's anything I never want to do in all of my life, it would be disappointing you. It would crush me, and I knew that if I fought with Garrett I'd only be hurting myself. Still, I fear that you'll leave me for him. I fear that he has what you want, what you need. I fear that he can provide more for you than I can. I fear that he's better suited to you than I am. I fear that I'm not good enough for you, Abby."
"I see absolutely no reason for you to feel that way, because you are everything to me. You are my entire world, Brian. Everything I do, every decision I make revolves around you. I need you to breathe, I need you to survive. I wouldn't have made it this far had I not been with you. Garrett is nothing more than a friend. He will never have the ability to make me feel the way you make me feel. He will never have your intoxicating scent, your stunning smile, or your brilliant eyes. He'll never have what you have. He'll never be you. He'll never replace you, because I love you," I said as I traced his features with my fingertips. He stared at me for a moment, brushing a few strands of hair away from my eyes before connecting our lips in a very heated, passionate kiss. The kiss quickly deepened as he hovered over me, his lips exploring the skin on my neck. I moaned as his hands slipped beneath my dress, tightly gripping my thighs.
"God, you're beautiful," he whispered, his warm breath upon my neck. I smirked as he continued to remove my dress. I wasted no time disposing of his T-shirt and his jeans, leaving him in nothing more than his boxers. He continued to kiss my neck, gently nibbling on my skin. He groaned as the pleasure increased, my nails embedding in the skin on his bare back. As my back arched against his chest, he reached behind me, my bra seemingly vanishing. I could feel the orgasm building in my lower abdomen as Brian moved his attention to my chest, my hips grinding into his. I quickly removed his boxers as he tore my underwear from my hips, begging for his immediate entry. Without a moment's notice, he crashed into me, pleasure and pain finding common ground. His thrusts were so intense and harsh that it was nearly painful, but he had no intention of hurting me. He needed me just as much as I needed him. It was obvious that we were desperate for each other's touch, craving the contact, searching for a release. It seemed like only seconds had passed before an orgasm claimed my body, Brian spilling into me moments later.
Brian laid next to me, the both of us gasping for air. I sighed contentedly as I rested my head on his chest, places butterfly kisses on his skin. Beads of sweat cascaded down his abdomen as he placed his arm around my shoulders, creating an even more erotic aura around us. I traced the contours of his body, feeling the muscles beneath his skin. A comfortable silence enveloped us as I toyed with the dog tags hanging from his neck, lightly brushing my fingers over his initials on them. The scent of sex hung lowly over us, a feeling of pure ecstacy taking over. Brian stared down at me, his gaze never quivering.
I finally smiled and said, "I love you."
He simply replied, "I love you, too." This moment was pure bliss. I wished that I could stay in his arms forever. I felt complete when he held me. I felt as though I found my purpose in life when I fell in love with him. I have a reason to live because of him. I wake up every morning to his gorgeous face, and I know that I'm prepared to spend the rest of my life with him.
The Sullivan-MacFadden residence had become more of an insane asylum than a home in the past few hours. Several women hurried around the house, preparing the bride and the bride's maids for the wedding. The groom and the groom's men were preparing for the ceremony at Matt's house. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife, so I ordered a bottle of Jack Daniels and a bottle of vodka. As I quietly drank the whiskey, my BlackBerry began playing Beyonce's Ego. I reached for my cell phone to find that I had a text message from Brian.
Are you alright, baby?
With furrowed brows, I replied, I'm fine. Why do you ask?
Taylor said you were drinking again.
I searched the room for Taylor, but she was nowhere to be found. I knew that she was concerned about me, though. She'd told me so when I arrived earlier this morning after I told her about the previous night's events. Fear continued to course through my veins as I nervously awaited Michelle's arrival. I'd been on edge for hours, concerned that Michelle would test her charm on my boyfriend again at the ceremony. I truly believed that Brian loved me, but it could never diminsh the anger and resentment I held toward his ex-girlfriend. She would forever be my enemy, even if we made amends in the future. My phone rang once again as I received another message from Brian.
Don't worry about Michelle, Abby. We've already discussed this. You know how I feel.
I know, Brian, but that doesn't change anything. She'll always be your ex-girlfriend, therefore we'll never tolerate each other.
Babe, can we, please, make this a joyous occasion? Your brother's getting married, and you need to be there for him. Just relax and take a deep breath.
It'd be easier to do that if you were here.
Do you need me to come over there?
No, I'll be alright. I love you, baby.
I love you more.
I sighed as I placed my phone on the table before me, twirling a strand of my hair around my finger. Brian was right. Today was the most important day of my brother's life, and I needed to be there for him throughout the entire journey. I stared at the bottle of whiskey for a moment, contemplating taking another drink. I always drank when I was nervous. It was a terrible habit that I desperately needed to break, but there were times where I couldn't avoid reaching for the alcohol. Even so, today wasn't about me. Today was about the most amazing brother in the world taking the biggest stride in life anyone could ever take. With that being said, I set my fears and the whiskey aside and prepared for a life changing event.