You Are Exactly My Brand of Heroin
Why Is This So Hard?
Taylor scurried around the house, making sure every last little thing was perfect while I sat on the edge of the pool table in the game room just down the hall from the kitchen already drinking a beer. The guys, on the other hand, played pool behind me, occasionally shoving me off the table so that they could make a shot, but I always sat back down. Taylor would say something foul or offensive every time she walked by the room, asking me why I wasn't helping her get the house into "tip-top shape". I never answered her, but if I had, I would've told her that these girls were going to have to get used to the people we really are, not the people she's attempting to portray us to be.
"So, Abby, are these girls hot or what?" Logan asked me. I rolled my eyes and gave him a stupid, sarcastic answer to his stupid question.
"They're fucking hotter than hell itself, Logan. I would lick their clits all motherfucking night long," I replied. They all burst into laughter. I sighed and glanced at Logan. "They're very, very beautiful, Logan, but I'm not a damn lesbian so it's up to you to decide whether or not these girls are attractive. For that, you'll just have to wait." Logan seemed to accept his fate and took his turn.
"Abby, could you help me for just a sec, please?" Taylor asked me from the living room. I simply jumped off the edge of the table and made my way to the living room. As I passed through the kitchen, I set my beer on the island and sauntered into the living room.
"Yes, your majesty?" I said, standing not ten feet away from her with my hands on my hips, waiting for her to ask me a majorly ridiculous favor.
"Abby, I try not to ask much of you very often, and so, I'm hoping that you'll do this for me," she said shyly. I wasn't quite sure exactly what was going on, but Taylor was beginning to disturb every part of me that, honestly, did not want to be disturbed right now. I had so much life drained from me at the moment that I couldn't bear to feel much emotion. I was saving all of my energy for later whenever I had to tell Natalie about everything that happened over that one summer, but I feared that I had lucked out on that one.
"Tay, what's wrong? What's going on?" She flashed a small smile, then sat down on the black leather sofa behind her, patting a spot beside her for me to sit down. I did as I was asked and awaited her "favor".
"Listen, I'm not so sure what was said between you and Natalie today to cause you to nearly choke her, but it would be nice if you would fill me in. I mean, Abby, you've been acting really strange since we got home. You haven't been in the mood, as you claim, to help me do anything around here, and that's not like you. If something's wrong between you two, you need to tell me before we leave on tour so we can settle it." I sighed, knowing what was truly wrong and knowing even more that there was nothing wrong. Actually, that was a lie, because I was in no mood to spill my guts to anyone right now, meaning that there really was something wrong. I've kept it bottled up inside so long that if I even tried to tell anyone at the moment - whether they be Taylor or not - I knew for a fact that it would all be lost in a massive field of thoughts and memories. Unfortunately for me, that would be like being unconscious or in a coma.
"No, no, no, Tay. I promise. There is absolutely nothing wrong between Natalie and I. She's great, and like I said, we go way back. As it turned out, I've known Natalie since I was three years old, but we just haven't kept in touch, and about earlier today, I swear to God that she was going to tell me who we were touring with, but I stopped her. I completely forgot about the fact that she didn't know about it. She was just messing with me or something. I just flew off the hook and clamped my hand over her mouth to stop her. It was one of those moments where you act before you think. I told her that I was sorry, and the only reason that I'm acting so strange is because I'm drained, Tay. I'm tired. I've done all I can for the past few weeks, and I'm to the point that I'm just not willing to push myself to the limit anymore to do anything. You have to understand that work comes into play with partying in the job the we have."
"Okay, Abbs. As long as things are, somewhat, on track, it'll all be fine. I know that our jobs are hectic, but we'll make it through. I promise you that. We'll be so successful on this tour that you won't even remember feeling like this. Okay?" she smiled. I could see in her eyes more than her expression that she knew that I was lying, but nevertheless, I smiled back.
"Okay," I replied. Taylor hugged me for a brief moment, and in standing up to do, what I was guessing, her rounds to finish the final touches on the house, the doorbell rang. She turned and smiled at me from where she hovered above me.
"Would you mind getting that?" she asked. I got off the couch and made my way to the oakwood front door. Lucky for me, our front door was extremely heavy and I wasn't even sure if I would have enough strength to open it, but I pulled through, and behind the door was, who else, Ciara and Natalie. The both of them were dressed to well, not depress but to, maybe, ruin a boner per say? They were dressed to deny, you could say, or impress, all depending on the mood they were in. They were both very beautiful girls, and the low-cut halter tops they were wearing weren't lacking anything in the breasts department. I could already see that Logan was in for more than he bargained for....
"Come on in, girls. Everyone's in the game room. I'll show you where it's at," I said as I stepped aside to let them inside my house. Both of them smiled in the midst of greeting me and followed me to the game room as soon as they stepped inside.
---
It was some time later, and we were all now very well acquainted and the girls seemed to take a liking to our boys which was good, but we were all so shit-faced that it really didn't matter if we liked each other or not. In the past few hours, we'd drank everything from just plain old beer to mixed drinks that I wasn't quite sure of what the ingredients were. There were so many different drinks mixed within in each other, and we were so drunk that we would drink it even if it tasted like shit. That was the feeling that most of us had. All of us except for Natalie. Every time someone asked her why she wasn't drinking all that much, she simply told them that she wasn't a very heavy drinker, and like they should, they accepted what she had to say. Even so, that wasn't what she'd told me today. I was told by Natalie herself that she was an avid drinker. The only thing that her lies told me was that she was waiting for the right time to ask me about what happened that summer. I, on the other hand, was opting for the ladder. I was attempting to get myself so drunk that she wouldn't even ask me to tell her about it, but the thought stayed in the back of my mind the entire time, with each and every drink that I took. She was waiting, and she wasn't about to drink so much that she would forget such a good story as the one that I would be forced to tell her.
Finally, when I separated myself from the crowd to use the bathroom, Natalie followed me down the hall, claiming that she, too, had to go. I continued my journey down the hall to the bathroom, pretending like she wasn't behind me, but when I tried to open the door, she grabbed my hand. I glanced up at her, looking surprised when I really wasn't.
"Oh! Hey, Nat. Sorry, I guess I didn't hear you behind me. Do you need something?" I asked stupidly. Her expression was nothing short of anger.
"You know what I want, Abby. Come on. We'll go to your room, so you can tell me about what happened between you and the guys. I'm sure you can recall your past even when you're drunk," she said as she grabbed my wrist and tried to drag me in the direction of my room. She was right about on thing, and suddenly, I didn't have to use the bathroom anymore. My heart began racing, and for a peculiar reason, I felt very faint. Even so, I took a deep breath and swallowed hard, forcing everything aside and preparing myself for what I was about to say. I exhaled sharply and followed her up the hall and up the stairs to my room. Quite honestly, I felt like I was walking to my doom, but at least I was somewhat prepared for it.
"So, Abby, are these girls hot or what?" Logan asked me. I rolled my eyes and gave him a stupid, sarcastic answer to his stupid question.
"They're fucking hotter than hell itself, Logan. I would lick their clits all motherfucking night long," I replied. They all burst into laughter. I sighed and glanced at Logan. "They're very, very beautiful, Logan, but I'm not a damn lesbian so it's up to you to decide whether or not these girls are attractive. For that, you'll just have to wait." Logan seemed to accept his fate and took his turn.
"Abby, could you help me for just a sec, please?" Taylor asked me from the living room. I simply jumped off the edge of the table and made my way to the living room. As I passed through the kitchen, I set my beer on the island and sauntered into the living room.
"Yes, your majesty?" I said, standing not ten feet away from her with my hands on my hips, waiting for her to ask me a majorly ridiculous favor.
"Abby, I try not to ask much of you very often, and so, I'm hoping that you'll do this for me," she said shyly. I wasn't quite sure exactly what was going on, but Taylor was beginning to disturb every part of me that, honestly, did not want to be disturbed right now. I had so much life drained from me at the moment that I couldn't bear to feel much emotion. I was saving all of my energy for later whenever I had to tell Natalie about everything that happened over that one summer, but I feared that I had lucked out on that one.
"Tay, what's wrong? What's going on?" She flashed a small smile, then sat down on the black leather sofa behind her, patting a spot beside her for me to sit down. I did as I was asked and awaited her "favor".
"Listen, I'm not so sure what was said between you and Natalie today to cause you to nearly choke her, but it would be nice if you would fill me in. I mean, Abby, you've been acting really strange since we got home. You haven't been in the mood, as you claim, to help me do anything around here, and that's not like you. If something's wrong between you two, you need to tell me before we leave on tour so we can settle it." I sighed, knowing what was truly wrong and knowing even more that there was nothing wrong. Actually, that was a lie, because I was in no mood to spill my guts to anyone right now, meaning that there really was something wrong. I've kept it bottled up inside so long that if I even tried to tell anyone at the moment - whether they be Taylor or not - I knew for a fact that it would all be lost in a massive field of thoughts and memories. Unfortunately for me, that would be like being unconscious or in a coma.
"No, no, no, Tay. I promise. There is absolutely nothing wrong between Natalie and I. She's great, and like I said, we go way back. As it turned out, I've known Natalie since I was three years old, but we just haven't kept in touch, and about earlier today, I swear to God that she was going to tell me who we were touring with, but I stopped her. I completely forgot about the fact that she didn't know about it. She was just messing with me or something. I just flew off the hook and clamped my hand over her mouth to stop her. It was one of those moments where you act before you think. I told her that I was sorry, and the only reason that I'm acting so strange is because I'm drained, Tay. I'm tired. I've done all I can for the past few weeks, and I'm to the point that I'm just not willing to push myself to the limit anymore to do anything. You have to understand that work comes into play with partying in the job the we have."
"Okay, Abbs. As long as things are, somewhat, on track, it'll all be fine. I know that our jobs are hectic, but we'll make it through. I promise you that. We'll be so successful on this tour that you won't even remember feeling like this. Okay?" she smiled. I could see in her eyes more than her expression that she knew that I was lying, but nevertheless, I smiled back.
"Okay," I replied. Taylor hugged me for a brief moment, and in standing up to do, what I was guessing, her rounds to finish the final touches on the house, the doorbell rang. She turned and smiled at me from where she hovered above me.
"Would you mind getting that?" she asked. I got off the couch and made my way to the oakwood front door. Lucky for me, our front door was extremely heavy and I wasn't even sure if I would have enough strength to open it, but I pulled through, and behind the door was, who else, Ciara and Natalie. The both of them were dressed to well, not depress but to, maybe, ruin a boner per say? They were dressed to deny, you could say, or impress, all depending on the mood they were in. They were both very beautiful girls, and the low-cut halter tops they were wearing weren't lacking anything in the breasts department. I could already see that Logan was in for more than he bargained for....
"Come on in, girls. Everyone's in the game room. I'll show you where it's at," I said as I stepped aside to let them inside my house. Both of them smiled in the midst of greeting me and followed me to the game room as soon as they stepped inside.
---
It was some time later, and we were all now very well acquainted and the girls seemed to take a liking to our boys which was good, but we were all so shit-faced that it really didn't matter if we liked each other or not. In the past few hours, we'd drank everything from just plain old beer to mixed drinks that I wasn't quite sure of what the ingredients were. There were so many different drinks mixed within in each other, and we were so drunk that we would drink it even if it tasted like shit. That was the feeling that most of us had. All of us except for Natalie. Every time someone asked her why she wasn't drinking all that much, she simply told them that she wasn't a very heavy drinker, and like they should, they accepted what she had to say. Even so, that wasn't what she'd told me today. I was told by Natalie herself that she was an avid drinker. The only thing that her lies told me was that she was waiting for the right time to ask me about what happened that summer. I, on the other hand, was opting for the ladder. I was attempting to get myself so drunk that she wouldn't even ask me to tell her about it, but the thought stayed in the back of my mind the entire time, with each and every drink that I took. She was waiting, and she wasn't about to drink so much that she would forget such a good story as the one that I would be forced to tell her.
Finally, when I separated myself from the crowd to use the bathroom, Natalie followed me down the hall, claiming that she, too, had to go. I continued my journey down the hall to the bathroom, pretending like she wasn't behind me, but when I tried to open the door, she grabbed my hand. I glanced up at her, looking surprised when I really wasn't.
"Oh! Hey, Nat. Sorry, I guess I didn't hear you behind me. Do you need something?" I asked stupidly. Her expression was nothing short of anger.
"You know what I want, Abby. Come on. We'll go to your room, so you can tell me about what happened between you and the guys. I'm sure you can recall your past even when you're drunk," she said as she grabbed my wrist and tried to drag me in the direction of my room. She was right about on thing, and suddenly, I didn't have to use the bathroom anymore. My heart began racing, and for a peculiar reason, I felt very faint. Even so, I took a deep breath and swallowed hard, forcing everything aside and preparing myself for what I was about to say. I exhaled sharply and followed her up the hall and up the stairs to my room. Quite honestly, I felt like I was walking to my doom, but at least I was somewhat prepared for it.