You Are Exactly My Brand of Heroin

The hotel was quiet but I knew that there were many people awake. It was Vegas. No one ever sleeps here. Even so, I made my way down the enormous hallway as quietly as possible to the elevators so that I could return the bottom floor so I could meet the guys and girls in the lobby. I sighed to myself once I reached the elevators and stabbed the down arrow button, shoving my hands deep into my jean pockets afterward. I stared up at the glowing orange numbers representing the floors the elevator was moving past to get to mine and let everything I'd been thinking about for the past two days settle upon me right then. It had to hit me sometime and I knew that. Now, when I could be alone, was the best time for it to do so. A few short moments later, that familiar "ding" filled my ears and I waited for an elevator full of people to come flooding out but once the doors opened, no one exited. It was empty. Even though I found that quite strange, I stepped inside the elevator and stabbed yet another button.

By now, my heart was pounding and my head was spinning and the motion of the elevator was not helping me at all. I was so close to what I'd yearned so see, to feel again for so many years. Could I handle all of it at once? My mind raced and the elevator doors glided apart. Just beyond those golden doors were my band mates and their girlfriends. They all set their eyes on me and waited for my body to move and for me to emerge from the small room in which I stood. I waited for a small second and then approached the familiar group of people.

"Morning, bro. Ya ready to get out of here?" Matt asked me with a reassuring smile. My gaze left him and fell on Val, who stood beside him. She stared at me intently. I knew this meant to go along with it and that she had a plan for later.

"You bet. What about you guys?" I asked, meeting Matt's gaze once again. Zack, Jimmy, and Johnny agreed while Matt simply smiled. The girls, on the other hand, smiled as well but seemed so tired that it didn't really matter. I knew, though, that once we arrived wherever we were to meet Abby, her manager, and her band these girls would be on edge. Leana smiled weakly at me along with Lacey. A few minutes later, a man dressed in a black tuxedo walked over to us to tell us that our limo had arrived and was prepared to take us to our location. We all exchanged glances knowing that this wasn't planned. That was when we realized that our producers and Larry, our manager, had something to do with this. Of course, we had no idea where to find her so we did need some assistance. Without another questionable glance we all followed the man outside. Luckily, there were no crazed fans around to maul us so I knew that our morning would go very smoothly.

We all climbed into the limo one by one and settled ourselves. As soon as the vehicle began moving, Jimmy tore open the mini refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of wine. Leana grabbed just enough glasses from a compartment beside the refrigerator and held each of them while Jimmy filled them and then handing them out to each of us.

"Matt, would you like to make a toast?" Johnny asked. Matt smiled and nodded. Everyone raised their glasses and waited while Matt gave his toast.

"I'd like to make a toast to a new beginning. We're about to do something and be reunited with someone who has changed our lives forever and will continue to do so for many, many more years. To Abby and an amazing future." Everyone repeated Matt's last few words, touched glasses, and began drinking. After that, conversation fired up. It was already an awkward day for most of us and a bit of conversation couldn't hurt anything.

"So, Zack, how did you like those babes you took back to your room last night?" I asked him from where he sat beside me. He deviously grinned at me as he took another drink.

"They were fucking amazing, dude. I've never had anything as good as that shit. What about you and that sexy little blonde, eh? Was she good or not? I was going for her, bro, but you just had to steal her," Zack joked. I smiled and took another drink.

"She was pretty good. I don't even remember her name. All I know is she totally rocked my world," I said, trying to lighten up the mood inside the vehicle. Everyone laughed. To be honest, I wasn't normally the type that would bring just any girl back to my room and fuck her. I was usually much more conservative, but last night, I was completely wasted and all I could think about was her. I needed to get my mind off of all of it and everything that would take place in the preceding days. What better way to do that then find the hottest chick closest to you, take her back to your room, and let her work her magic? That was my motto last night and I was definitely sticking to it, but today, I feel much more moderate and sickly, I guess you could say. I'm dying to see her and to hear her beautiful voice but at the same time, I fear that the thought of her pain and her anger falling upon us all at once will tear me apart.

"We're here," our driver spoke up, breaking my train of thought. Everyone went silent as the vehicle came to a stop. We all exchanged glances and took deep breaths. This was it. Were we prepared for it? I glanced over at Val whose pleading expression told me that we were at a loss. All we could do was wait and see. The anxiety and nervousness was killing me now. My head was pounding along with my heart. My vision began to blur and my breathing began to stagger. No, Brian. You can't do this. Not now. Not when everyone's relying on you. Not when your friends are in need of your support. Don't let this happen. Just calm down and relax. Let everything take its course. Everything's going to be fine. Just --- Everything stopped as the driver opened the door to assist all of us in getting out. Val sighed, glancing at me once more and getting up first to get out. I followed shortly behind her. I stepped out into the sunlight, everything going white due to the brightness. I simply covered my eyes and hoped that they would never open again.

---

"Abby, you're not walking fast enough! We have to go! Now!" Taylor shouted at me as she stood in the parking lot beside my vehicle, waiting for me to get out.

"I'm coming, Tay. Just hold on, okay?" I said. I was nervous enough. My heart was pounding but I'm sure that no one had noticed it because of Taylor's yelling.

"Just chill, Tay. Give her a break, alright? She's been under enough stress these past few weeks, and you're making it worse," Garrett said to his sister from where he stood beside her. Taylor gave him a disgusted look.

"Go to hell, Garrett. I'll say whatever I want to say and you damn well know that without me, you guys would not be touring with this band so let's fucking go! We do not have time to waste here!" Taylor shouted even more.

"Taylor! Stop it! It's fine! We know that we wouldn't be anywhere without you but you don't have to be such a fucking bitch about it. Just fucking relax and let us go at our own pace. We're all stressed the fuck out and we know that you are too so don't be taking anything out on us because we'll just do it right back," Logan added. Taylor sighed and massaged her temples.

"I'm sorry, you guys. I just want this to go smoothly and be perfect, but I don't think that anything's truly perfect so I guess I just need to lay off. I'm sorry. Really, I am," she said calmly. I walked around my H2 and hugged her tightly.

"It's okay, Tay. We know you only bitch at us because you love us," I said with a solemn smile. She nodded and smiled back.

"So, are we ready?" Jordan asked all of us. We all nodded.

"Alright then. Let's get this shit started!" Brett exclaimed, walking ahead of all of us with Jordan. Garrett and Taylor stayed on both sides of me with Logan just a few steps ahead of us.

"This'll be great, you guys. I know it. You'll definitely be in debt to me for an eternity after this," Taylor confided in herself. I smiled. As did Garrett, and just as he was about to make a smart ass remark to what Taylor had said, a jet black limousine entered the parking lot, stopping just in front of the recording studio where Ben and the other band's manager waited for all of us. We all stopped dead in our tracks. Taylor's expression deepened as she glanced over at Garrett and I. Logan, Brett, and Jordan who were not too far in front of us stopped as well. Brett and Jordan who were closer to the vehicle tried their best to see who was inside but the darkly tinted windows didn't help them any.

"Who is that?" Garrett finally spoke up.

"Um... It's ---" As soon as Taylor's voice echoed into my ear, everything stopped. My head pounded along with my heart. I couldn't hear anything and all I saw was that familiar face emerge from the limo. Our eyes met and I knew that everything I tried to get rid of and everything that I tried so desperately to hide had now been revealed. I wasn't sure what to feel at that precise moment. Should I be angry? I mean, they broke my heart and broke a promise that they swore they would keep, and if I'm not supposed to be angry, should I be upset? They're interrupting the life that I had made for me, and now, it's almost as if I have to start from scratch. What am I supposed to do? What do I say? Can I do this? Can I go through with this tour? Can I face my past and my very own flesh-and-blood that betrayed me again? Will I survive any of this?... As soon as my mind hit all of those questions, my breathing slowed down and my vision went black.