The Hummingbird's Heart

It wasn't the first night where Gustav Wood got drunk. So it wasn't a surprise that he found himself the morning after, lying on his living room, having terrible headache.

He felt weak—and weird. Like his body was shrunken into tinier piece of meat. And that alone felt weird. Gustav tried to sit while he groaned. His voice sounded really weird, like a little girl or something. He managed to sit properly before he saw someone lying across the room. His figure was oddly familiar. He had his hair, for sure. Hell, he even wear the kind of clothes that he would wear. Whoever he is, he could be taken care of later. Gustav stood up without noticing anything because his head hurt and he walked into the bathroom, feeling weirder than ever.

When he saw his reflection in the mirror, he screamed.

“WHAT-THE-ACTUAL-FUCK?”

He almost fell behind when he saw the mirror—it wasn't him at all. The person who stared back at him was a girl with long brown hair and pale hazel eyes. He panted then he stared down to find that he had boobs. He screamed again (“FUCK! WHAT JUST HAPPENED?”) before he heard someone was groaning on the living room. He ran into the living room just to find himself—he wasn't even kidding, he found himself—lying on the floor and groaning as he woke up.

“Why do I feel like my body is extremely heavy?” he asked to nobody before he stared at Gustav and screamed, literally, like a girl. “WHO ARE YOU?”

“WHO ARE YOU?” Gustav screamed back.

He was completely terrified that he couldn't say anything. He inhaled and exhaled slowly before he asked, still terrified, but at least he managed to say something, “Okay, excuse me, but... but why are you wearing my body?”

“What?” Gustav responded. “That's my question. Why are you wearing my freaking body?”

“Can you just STOP repeating everything I just said?” he groaned—or she, actually, now that he had the knowledge that it was a she, inside. It was the most peculiar thing he had to witness in life; watching himself getting angry at him.

“Who are you?” Gustav finally asked. When he squatted next to her—him, his body, whatever—he just realised that the body he was in at the moment was slightly easier to move, because she was tiny.

He could see that she was resisting the urge to ask him the same question.

“I'm Audrey. I live in Manchester and I'm currently on a holiday trip to London. Last night, I was drunk and I don't think I made it to the hotel—why-the-hell-am-I-speaking-with-your-voice?”

“Because you're in my body?” Gustav raised his eyebrows, unamused.

“You're speaking in my voice. Shut up, Fake Audrey,” she hissed.

He didn't know whether to laugh or angry.

“Listen. You don't seem to have any idea of who I am, but...”

“Are you famous? You looked like you're famous.”

“Well, if you've ever heard a band named Young Guns...”

“Is it a rock band?”

“Yes.”

“Then—no. For the past four years, all I listen was classical music. Not when I'm in a supermarket or anywhere where I can't control what I'm listening, of course. And this band of yours, I assume, is quite popular. Now, do you realise that we're in a, um, trouble?”

Gustav nodded. It felt funny that he had long hair that tickles his neck whenever he moved his head.

“Big trouble,” he said, in a weird voice that obviously not his.

“First, let's accept the fact that we, somehow, switch our body.”

“Okay.”

“Second, we don't now how did that occur.”

“Okay.”

“Third—what are we going to do now?”

He fell into silent.

“I don't know,” Gustav shrugged. “I think we should try to switch our body back—but how?”

“Coming to doctor is not a good idea, I believe,” she spoke, in his voice—his freaking voice. “Because they will assume that we're completely mental and then put us into place for mental people. So... no. I have time until my holiday finished but... I don't know about you. Do you need to do... something, today, for a start?”

He nodded.

“I need to meet my friends and... well, making new song.”

“Oh no,” she shook her head. “That is not happening.”

“Well...”

“Can we trust them?” she asked, rather annoyed.

“I guess so... God, why in the world I am speaking to my freaking self?”

“Well, it's me, actually, only in your body. Wait. So you're a singer. Well, your body is a singer body... that means I can sing!”

She suddenly sing a song that Gustav didn't recognise. Not immediately.

“King Jeremy the wicked—oh ruled his world and... Wow, I like your voice,” Audrey said happily.

“Hey, hey, don't get used to it,” he frowned.

“Well, you got my boobs, so you can stare at it as long as you want... just don't touch it, okay?”

He was annoyed that she was having fun, so he touched his own chest, that was appear to be a pair of breasts now, to piss her off.

“Hey!” she exclaimed angrily and the next second, she hit his head with a folded newspaper.

“Owww! Ouch! Don't just hit someone in the head with newspaper! I know this is your own body, but I'm the one who feel the pain...”

“I just told you not to touch my boobs!”

He sighed, accepting the fact that he was indeed the one who was wrong, “What are we going to do now?”

She blushed, “Um... sorry, what's your name, again?”

“Gus.”

“Okay. Gus. Uh... Gus?”

“Yes, Audrey?”

“I want to pee.”

“...”

“...”

“You want to pee.”

“Yes. How do guys pee?”

“You don't know?”

“Well, I have no sibling and even though I had six ex-boyfriends so far, I don't know how exactly, technically a man pee.”

“Well, you...”

This was harder than he thought.

“You sort of... doing that thing...”

“What thing?”

“... you know what, just pee like girl pee, I guess. No one see it, anyway. The bathroom is right there.”

He knew he would be sorry—and he knew he was right because she came back, in his body, and her face—well, his face, his expression—was gloomy.

“I do not like the fact that I can have a boner now.”

“It's hard, I know,” again, Gustav didn't know whether to laugh or to be serious. That was actually great joke—it's hard, he knows, that's what he said.

He stood up.

“Gosh, you're so short,” he mumbled as he stared at his own body.

“And you're too tall,” she replied, unamused.

“... what are we going to do now?”

“I guess we can meet your friend, you know. Tell them the truth. 'Heyyy, fellow Young Guns, please note that for a time being, I can't sing because Audrey has my body! And I can't sing in Audrey's body, because she's a horrible singer. By the way, is there any chance that you guys can help me to get my old body back?'”

“There is no way we're going to do that.”

“It's not like you have any other choice.”

“They're gonna laugh at me for ages!”

“Well, they're your friends, so they must be willing to help you, right? Do you think we can sort this thing out on our own?”

“No, but...”

Gustav sighed.

“Alright, then, Audrey. Let's change our clothes and then...”

“I wanna take a bath.”

“No, you don't wanna take a bath.”

“Listen, Gus, I don't know what you did last night, but your body is now sure as hell is sticky and it feels unpleasant.”

“You're not gonna wash my body.”

“Alright, then, you do it! I won't peek or anything. I should be the one who concerned when you're taking a bath—wait! I should bathe my OWN body! There is no way I'm going to let you touch the whole—thing.”

“It's not like I'm gonna touch it in sexual way or anything.”

“Shut up!” she groaned in shame. “Just... whatever, just clean the body I'm currently in right now, okay?”

After Gustav took a set of his new clothes, he found Audrey sitting on his body on the sofa and he looked like he want to cry. And it was a very strange sight to see yourself wanting to cry.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Uuuuh... I just... all I want is just a nice holiday alone in London... but now... I'm stuck in this tall body... it's hard to walk, you know! Why do you have to be so tall? Aaaargh! Why is this happening to me? It was only less than an hour since we exchange our body and there's so many problems already...” she sounded more and more hoarse.

“Don't cry with my face! That's disgusting!”

“Shut up!” she groaned again. “Everyone is going to want to cry in this kind of situation!”

“Hey, hey, hey... just... let's just take a bath now, okay? Suck your tears, man up, because you're in a man body now.”

“I'm still Audrey Jones!”

“Yeah, but you're in Gustav Wood's body! And can we just stop debating now? It's only 8 in the morning!”

“... okay.”