Nothing Else Matters
Liar, Liar
The hotel was nice, fancier than any I’d ever been in, and as Veronica and I walked into our room, I got an apprehensive feeling, like anything I touched might break. Sleeping on the bus had done nothing for me; I felt mentally, emotionally, and physically drained.
All I wanted was a hot shower and some extra-strength Tylenol for the raging headache I could feel was on its way. I dumped my bags into a corner of the room and Veronica did the same.
“There’s a party tonight the guys want to head to, at around 8. Some club.” she said.
I glanced at the electric clock that was on the bedside table.
3:04 p.m.
I really wasn’t feeling the party mood, but I didn’t want to be the buzzkill either.
“Yea, sure. I’ll just take a nap and get ready in a bit” I said.
Veronica nodded and headed for the door.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
She smiled. “Drum lessons.”
And then shut the door behind her.
I wandered around, exploring the room, and then finding my way back to the bed, where I curled up in a ball, and drifted into an uneasy sleep.
“You bastard!” I cried, dropping my things onto the ground, but making no move to pick them up.
My eyes moved over the room, taking in the clothing tossed haphazardly on the ground, his jeans, t-shirt, and shoes, and hers, some sheer black fabric, red lace, black fuck-me heels, and a leather jacket.
The heavy breathing, pleasured moaning, and ecstatic whimpering stopped abruptly and there was a moment of silence.
The bedsheets parted aside and out emerged my boyfriend of 2 and a half years. Underneath him, a girl who looked straight out of a sleazy stripclub, fake boobs and all. His expression was one of horror and surprise.
The girls body was obscured by tangled sheets and long, black and blond-streaked hair, and she eyed me with contempt, as if she were superior and I inferior. Her eyes, smudged with dark eyeliner, were narrowed, her full, bloodred lips pursed. As if I were wrong to be so angry at her fucking the guy I…loved.
That’s what hurt the most. That I loved him, with body, mind, and soul.
“Babe…” he choked out.
At that word, I lost it. Picking up whatever I could get my hands on, I hurled it at them both. A spoon on the table smacked him on the head, a book grazed by her cheek. Glass figurines shattered on the wall, his shoe hit the lamp. She yelped as if I had hit her with acid. At her cry he stood up, naked and exposed, fully erect. Clearly, I’d interrupted them at the wrong-or right- moment. His obvious protectiveness of her angered me even more
.“Stop!” he shouted and so I did, only because if not, I might kill them both.
“Let me explain” he said but I shook my head, biting my tongue to shreds to keep from crying in front of him.
“I’m going to leave, but when I come back, you and your fucking tramp better be gone.”
She rose up out of the bed but I shot her a look that sent her right back in between the sheets. His mouth dropped open.
“What? This is my place, you can’t…” I cut him off.
“I’ve been paying the rent for 8 months now while you sit on your ass doing jack fucking shit. Either you’re gone or I’ll get you out myself.And this time, I won’t listen if you say Stop.”
He seemed to be struggling with his words so without waiting for a response, I turned and left,not wanting to hear, or see, any more than I already had, dying inside as the door shut behind me.
“Hey” a whisper tickled my ear and my eyes fluttered open.
There stood Veronica, hair wrapped in a towel, semi-dressed.
“It’s 6:30. Shower’s ready if you want.”
I moaned and forced my eyes open, trying to erase the memory that was still playing out in the back of my eyelids.
“Dammit. Ok.”
Zombie-like, I trudged into the steam-filled bathroom, the nightmare fading away, but leaving me feeling worse than before. Once in, I sighed in relief as the warm water relaxed my muscles and mind, wishing it could relax my heart as well. That incident had occurred nearly a year ago, it was time to move on.
I couldn’t keep thinking that every guy would be the same, would betray me, would spit me up and chew me out.
But what if James is the same? The voice in my mind whispered. He’s a fucking rockstar. He’s not going to commit.
I shook my head and slid down against the wall, cradling my head in my hands. I wouldn’t look for commitment. Just fun. That’s it. That was the answer. James was a one-night stand, the dream I’d never imagined would ever come true.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Besides, technically I was here by default. I’d work to keep my emotions in check, even if it killed me.
Liar, liar, pants on fire… the voice taunted.
I closed my eyes against the voice but it continued.
Liar liar, pants on fire. Hanging on your hearts desires. Fooled you once, you’ll be fooled twice. Forever alone…doesn’t that sound nice?
I gritted my teeth.
Just fun.
No Commitment.
Just…fun.
All I wanted was a hot shower and some extra-strength Tylenol for the raging headache I could feel was on its way. I dumped my bags into a corner of the room and Veronica did the same.
“There’s a party tonight the guys want to head to, at around 8. Some club.” she said.
I glanced at the electric clock that was on the bedside table.
3:04 p.m.
I really wasn’t feeling the party mood, but I didn’t want to be the buzzkill either.
“Yea, sure. I’ll just take a nap and get ready in a bit” I said.
Veronica nodded and headed for the door.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
She smiled. “Drum lessons.”
And then shut the door behind her.
I wandered around, exploring the room, and then finding my way back to the bed, where I curled up in a ball, and drifted into an uneasy sleep.
“You bastard!” I cried, dropping my things onto the ground, but making no move to pick them up.
My eyes moved over the room, taking in the clothing tossed haphazardly on the ground, his jeans, t-shirt, and shoes, and hers, some sheer black fabric, red lace, black fuck-me heels, and a leather jacket.
The heavy breathing, pleasured moaning, and ecstatic whimpering stopped abruptly and there was a moment of silence.
The bedsheets parted aside and out emerged my boyfriend of 2 and a half years. Underneath him, a girl who looked straight out of a sleazy stripclub, fake boobs and all. His expression was one of horror and surprise.
The girls body was obscured by tangled sheets and long, black and blond-streaked hair, and she eyed me with contempt, as if she were superior and I inferior. Her eyes, smudged with dark eyeliner, were narrowed, her full, bloodred lips pursed. As if I were wrong to be so angry at her fucking the guy I…loved.
That’s what hurt the most. That I loved him, with body, mind, and soul.
“Babe…” he choked out.
At that word, I lost it. Picking up whatever I could get my hands on, I hurled it at them both. A spoon on the table smacked him on the head, a book grazed by her cheek. Glass figurines shattered on the wall, his shoe hit the lamp. She yelped as if I had hit her with acid. At her cry he stood up, naked and exposed, fully erect. Clearly, I’d interrupted them at the wrong-or right- moment. His obvious protectiveness of her angered me even more
.“Stop!” he shouted and so I did, only because if not, I might kill them both.
“Let me explain” he said but I shook my head, biting my tongue to shreds to keep from crying in front of him.
“I’m going to leave, but when I come back, you and your fucking tramp better be gone.”
She rose up out of the bed but I shot her a look that sent her right back in between the sheets. His mouth dropped open.
“What? This is my place, you can’t…” I cut him off.
“I’ve been paying the rent for 8 months now while you sit on your ass doing jack fucking shit. Either you’re gone or I’ll get you out myself.And this time, I won’t listen if you say Stop.”
He seemed to be struggling with his words so without waiting for a response, I turned and left,not wanting to hear, or see, any more than I already had, dying inside as the door shut behind me.
“Hey” a whisper tickled my ear and my eyes fluttered open.
There stood Veronica, hair wrapped in a towel, semi-dressed.
“It’s 6:30. Shower’s ready if you want.”
I moaned and forced my eyes open, trying to erase the memory that was still playing out in the back of my eyelids.
“Dammit. Ok.”
Zombie-like, I trudged into the steam-filled bathroom, the nightmare fading away, but leaving me feeling worse than before. Once in, I sighed in relief as the warm water relaxed my muscles and mind, wishing it could relax my heart as well. That incident had occurred nearly a year ago, it was time to move on.
I couldn’t keep thinking that every guy would be the same, would betray me, would spit me up and chew me out.
But what if James is the same? The voice in my mind whispered. He’s a fucking rockstar. He’s not going to commit.
I shook my head and slid down against the wall, cradling my head in my hands. I wouldn’t look for commitment. Just fun. That’s it. That was the answer. James was a one-night stand, the dream I’d never imagined would ever come true.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Besides, technically I was here by default. I’d work to keep my emotions in check, even if it killed me.
Liar, liar, pants on fire… the voice taunted.
I closed my eyes against the voice but it continued.
Liar liar, pants on fire. Hanging on your hearts desires. Fooled you once, you’ll be fooled twice. Forever alone…doesn’t that sound nice?
I gritted my teeth.
Just fun.
No Commitment.
Just…fun.
♠ ♠ ♠
Happy Friday :)