Forbidden

“Uh...hi,” Jason spoke first, feeling rather idiotic at his current predicament.

Jessa felt her tears begin to dry away, a totally new emotion taking over, as she stood before the guy who’s been plaguing her thoughts and, quite literally, dreams, for the almost the past week. To say she was caught off guard was an understatement.

“Hey,” she replied. “I’m sorry, I know I just kind of barged in. I’ll wait outside until you’re done.”

“No, wait,” Jason intervened suddenly, startling Jessa some at his tone. “You don’t have to go, I can. You’re obviously upset about something and—” ‘If you want me to, I’ll pound the person's face in...’ “You probably need it a lot more than me.”

“Thanks. And I’m not upset I just...have allergies.” Jessa looked down at her feet and wiped at her eyes.

“Allergies? Gotcha.” Jason nodded, pretending to understand. The girl was clearly in some sort of turmoil, and he found himself once again fighting the urge to wrap his arms around her. “Do you wanna talk or...?”

“Talk?” Jessa looked at him again. “Talk about what? I told you, I’m perfectly fine.”

“Oh, right, I forgot. You and your allergies,” He said playfully, trying in vain to get her to smile. She cracked a grin and tore her gaze away once more, feeling utterly embarrassed as her cheeks flushed a brilliant shade of pink.

“Don’t poke fun,” She said. “I’m just...not having the best time, is all.”

“Let me just get out of your way, then.” Jason slowly walked forward, making a move to exit the bathroom, before Jessa stepped in his way.

“No,” she prompted, putting a hand on his arm. “I mean, if you want to talk then...we can.”

Jason looked at the small hand placed delicately on his limb, before locking eyes with hers again. “Yeah, sure. Let’s...sit down?”

Jessa inspected their surroundings and chuckled. “It’s better than being downstairs if that’s what you mean.” She sighed, remembering back to before, and letting go of Jason’s arm to plant herself on the floor in front of the sink. It wasn’t the best place, or most comfortable, but she did feel the highest she has all night, and that was saying a lot.

“I guess I’d better actually lock the door this time, huh?” Jason laughed, closing the door again and flicking the lock.

Jessa smiled sadly, but it quickly faded and turned to a sickening feeling. Her stomach grumbled, and she wrapped both arms around her midsection to try and calm it. She’d never been in a situation like this one; having a boyfriend cheat on her, having a best friend betray her to this extent, feeling completely alone... It was almost overwhelming.

“Hey, are you okay?” He sat down in front of her, keeping a safe distance, but still close enough for comfort.

“Define okay,” Jessa responded sarcastically. “If your definition of okay is feeling the worst you’ve ever felt in your life, then yeah, I’m super.”

Jason frowned. “What happened?”

“Let’s just say, when you and I had that talk the other day, I probably should have taken what you said into full consideration.” Tears built up behind her sore irises once again.

Jason thought for a moment, going back to the conversation they had, and immediately remembered. “Scott?” Jessa nodded. “What the hell did he do?”

“He’s just...a piece of shit,” She spat. “I truly hate him.”

“What did he do, though?” Jason pushed. “I don’t mean to pry, but you just seem more upset than I’ve seen you be and I know it has to be something bad.”

Jessa sighed, hands now covering her face as if to hide from Jason’s scrutiny. “I caught him and...someone...downstairs in the kitchen.”

Jason could feel his blood boiling. “Doing...?” He already knew the answer, but she was obviously devastated so he thought it best not to assume.

“Kissing,” she said, voice fuming. “Kissing, groping, and cheating!”

Jason’s eyes grew two more sizes as Jessa stood up from her spot and began to pace the room. Her face had taken on a fiery shade of red as she grabbed a few tissues from the box resting on the countertop. She dabbed at the tears now marking her cheeks and whimpered quietly. It made Jason’s heartache. He had no idea what to even do or say, as he’d never dealt with something like this before. He knew he had to do something, though.

“I’m sorry,” He said, looking up at her but not standing up himself as he wanted to give her the space she needed.

“Don’t be. I’m the idiot who stayed with him for so long, knowing it was never going to turn into anything more than a high school romance.”

“You’re not an idiot. Don’t say that, Jessa,” Jason said gently.

“I am! I was stupid to even think I had real friends, either. They’re all the same; backstabbing, two-timing liars.”

Jason furrowed his eyebrows, now totally confused as to what she was talking about now. “What do you mean? What did your friends do?”

Jessa scoffed, tossing the soiled tissues into the waste bin. “Just forget it. I’ve already said too much.” She began walking back toward the door. “I’ll just go back down and pretend again like nothing ever happened; just like I always do.”

“No.” Jason stood up now, catching her by the arm before she got to her destination. She stopped but didn’t look at him, shame fueling her veins. “I’m not going to let you do that.”

“What do you mean?” Her voice broke.

“Jessa, listen to me. Look at what he’s done to you, how far he’s pushed you. I saw how he reacted to you today at lunch, the bruises on your face; you don’t deserve that, any of it.” Jason paused, gathering his thoughts together. “And now you’re telling me that it was your friend who he was cheating on you with. Is that right?”

Jessa let out a heavy breath, obviously crying by this point. She shook her head and did her best to fight the emotions. “It was my best—well, I thought she was my best friend, Alyson.”

“That girl you’re always with?” Jason gaped, and Jessa nodded. “Jesus Christ, and you’re telling me you’d be willing to go face those two after you caught them red handed? Come on now, you need to have more self-respect than that.”

“Well, what do you suggest I do? My whole life is built around being in the ‘popular group.' It’s what my parents and everyone expect from me!” Jessa tore her arm out of Jason’s grip and began to pace again. “It’s not as easy as you make it out to be, just walking away and being someone totally new. This has been who I am for the last...six years, probably. I’m the girl with the great hair, perfect makeup, cute voice, and who all the guys want but can never get. That’s how you and everyone else sees me. Do you think that’s how I want to be? Newsflash, no, it’s not. But to just throw that all away and turn into someone else, I’d lose everything.”

Jason watched her closely, listening to what she said and growing more and more impatient. “Jessa, come on. I know you’re not that person, but it’s obvious that pretending to be that person is tearing you apart. And what is this everything that you speak of?”

“I’d lose the friends I’ve made and the group that’s been built; I’d be outcast because Alyson is the school slut and gets around more than a New York City prostitute and would do whatever it is in her power to make sure I have no one. Plus, Scott would be against me, too. So, it’s basically guaranteed.”

“How can you even still call those people your friends after what they’ve put you through?”

“They’re not all bad,” Jessa considered for a moment. “Most of them are, but I guess not all...”

“Not all bad? Let’s put it this way then. Say Alyson went around school telling all your little clique members to stop being friends with you. Nine times out of ten, if they refused to stop talking to you, they’d be kicked out as well. Now, tell me again that they’re ‘not all bad’ after they’ve put you out just because they want to save their own asses.”

Jessa whimpered again, Jason’s words cutting into her deeply. He was right, so right, and it was only then that she realized how far down she’d really sunk. “I’m done for.”

Jason softened his features. “What do you mean?”

She walked back over to her previous spot and sunk down to the floor again. “I’m damned either way. If I go back to being prissy little Jessa, I’ll still be unhappy and wish I could just die.” Jason winced, to which she ignored. “And if I drop out of it all and do my own thing, they’ll totally ruin me, all of them, and I’ll just be alone.”

He eyed her, still in his standing position, before sighing heavily and walking over to kneel before her. “No.”

Jessa looked up and him. “No? No to which part?”

“No, you wouldn’t be alone. If you choose to leave behind all those assholes and low lives. I’ll be here for you. I’ll be here, and I can guarantee you that Brandon and Benji would be there too.”

“Why would they accept me? I’ve been nothing but a bitch to everyone who isn’t in my tunnel vision,” Jessa sniffled.

“Listen to me, you haven’t really done anything to us. You’re rather quiet and enclosed, and to be perfectly honest, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you speak until we talked the other day.” She laughed, and Jason smiled. “The guys and I, we don’t have problems with anyone unless they start it with us first. Scott Moyer is a pathetic excuse for a human being, and he’s really the only one I’ve got beef with; same with Ben and Bran. Besides, I’m like the leader of our little pack anyway. If I want someone to chill with us, then they’re chilling with us. You’re hardly a threat, anyway.”

“I don’t know if that’s a compliment or an insult,” Jessa replied, giggling.

“Trust me, it’s a compliment,” Jason returned, showing off the dimples the other girl has come to find adorable.

“Well, thank you, then. That really means a lot to me.” She wiped at her wet cheeks with a smile.

Jason reached up and grabbed some more tissues, handing them to her generously. “So, what do you say?”

“About what?” Jessa asked, wiping at her eyes and nose.

“About just...saying fuck it and living how you want. Come and chill with my friends and me and see how you like it. I already know you’re going to because we’re three kick-ass people, but you need to see it for yourself.”

Jessa thought about it, everything inside her saying to just do it and forget about everyone else, but wanting to make entirely sure that it was the right decision to make. “What if...what if something happens and you guys decide you don’t want me around and then I end up all alone?”

“Jessa,” Jason began, feeling his own cheeks begin to heat up. “I don’t think anything could make me not want to be around you.”

She smiled shyly. “I’m just...really nervous.”

“I understand that. But I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. I’ll do whatever I can to make you comfortable with us, and I promise I won’t let anyone hurt you. They can say whatever they want, but if anyone comes near you, I promise I’ll protect you.”

“Are you sure?”

Jason laughed, reaching forward to wipe a stray tear. “Yes, I’m sure. Scott and whoever else won’t be able to get near you as long as I’m around. I mean, I’m not going to hit a girl, but if you don’t want Alyson near you, I’m pretty sure I can handle it.”

Jessa blushed. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yes, I’ll do it.”

“Well, halle-fucking-lujah!” Jason smiled, and Jessa laughed. “Come on.”

She stopped laughing and looked at the other, eyes unsure. “What?”

“Come on, we’re getting outta here.” Jason took Jessa by the hands and pulled her up off the floor.

“And going where?” Her voice was uneasy, but she didn’t fight him when he began to lead her out of the bathroom.

He opened the door and turned to look at her before exiting. “Anywhere but here.”