Forbidden

“Dude, smoke this.”

Jason looked over at Benji, who was holding out an already lit blunt and trying his best not to cough.

“Nah, man. It’s way too early for that shit,” Jason replied, gesturing toward the clock radio, that read 6:30.

“Well, I’ve gotta have something to keep me sane during the school day.” 

Benji retracted his hand and took another hit of the drug, before tossing it out the open window and rolling it back up. Jason sighed and leaned his elbow against the door, resting his head in his open palm. The day had barely begun, and already he was feeling strange about it. All he wanted to do was go back to sleep and never wake back up. These weren’t odd feelings for him, but what really got to him were the motives that were causing them.

“What’s wrong?” Ben asked. Jason looked at him and saw his best friend was studying him with sensitive eyes.

“Nothing. Why?”

“Jay, I’ve known you for how many years now? You can’t hide anything from me and if you try, I usually end up finding out, anyway.”

Jason rolled his eyes and grinned a bit. “It’s nothing, Ben, really. I’m just not feeling myself today.”

“Well, that’s why you should have taken a hit before I threw it out. You know that always helps to lessen your stress.”

“It’s not that. It’s just... complicated. I don’t really feel like talking about it and if I did, you’d probably freak.”

Benji laughed a little and shook his head. “Come on, it can’t be that bad. I’m your best friend, remember? Even if I did freak, I’d still try my best to help. I mean, unless you’re about to tell me you’re in love with me; then, we may have to reevaluate our friendship just a tiny bit.”

“Oh God,” Jason said, reaching over to punch Benji in the shoulder. “That’s not even funny, dude.”

Benji kicked his head back and roared with laughter. “We’re getting off topic here, so let’s be serious. What’s bothering you?”

“Dude, it’s a long story and I honestly don’t even want to think about it and talking about it will only make it worse.”

“Okay, fine. You keep it to yourself and, instead of telling me right here and now what the problem is, I’ll just keep hounding you and tell Bran about it so he can hound you, too. That sounds like a good deal, right?”

Ben leaned over to switch on the radio. He sang softly to the music playing with a smirk etched into his features. Jason scoffed and switched the music back off.

“You’re such a brat, you know that?”

Benji giggled and nodded. “That I do.”

“How does Brandon put up with you? I would have fucking disowned your ass after the first day of birth.”

“I’m sure you would have. Now onward with the story.”

Jason took a deep breath and blew it out through his nose, as he pulled into the school parking lot and quickly found a parking spot. He shut off the engine and glanced around the general area to make sure there was no one around to overhear.

“Come on, man. Brandon's going to be waiting for us,” Benji urged, reminding Jason that Brandon had arrived at school early that day as per request from the Principal.

“Okay, well, yesterday when I was on my way over to your house, I kinda…” Jason paused and lifted his hand to smooth through his short hair.

“Kinda what?” Benji persisted.

“I got in a car accident,” Jason began, looking over at Benji and readying himself to continue before Ben could break in with words of concern. “It was nothing major, as you can see because I’m fine, but that’s where the cut on my head came from.”

“Dude, what the hell? Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Like I said, it was nothing major, and that’s not even the point of the story.”

“Well, what the fuck else could be the point?” Ben was close to seething at his friends lie.

“It’s not about the accident in itself, it’s more about who was in the accident. The other driver was that girl, Jessa. You know, the one with the blonde hair who goes out with that douche, Scott?”

Benji squinted for a moment in thought, before his eyes lit up in remembrance. “Are you serious? Dude, that’s crazy. What happened?”

“I was rolling a doob and I wasn’t paying attention. She barely escaped the hit and swerved out of the way, but I scaled a tree. It was nothing major because I hit my brakes before anything bad could happen, but yeah. It was quite an experience.”

Ben alternated between nodding and shaking his head as Jason spoke. He scoffed when the other finished talking and was ready to exit the vehicle, thinking the talk was over when he remembered there had to be more to tell. “Go on.”

Jason sighed and continued rubbing his head. “Well, we talked, me and Jessa, and I just…I don’t know, man.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just, we talked, and it was kinda nice, ya know? She was a totally different person than what I expected her to be.”

“So, what’s your point?” Ben asked dumbly.

Jason shook his head and scoffed. “My point is that I can’t…I can’t—”

He groaned loudly, not knowing what exactly to say. Benji sat patiently and waited for him to get his thoughts together. It was true that Brandon would be waiting, but he also knew that his best friend had a dilemma, so his brother would just have to wait.

“I can’t get this broad out of my damn head! Ever since we talked, I just can’t stop thinking about her. I know it’s weird and totally not right but…yeah.”

Ben hummed softly in understanding. “So, what do you think this means?”

“I don’t know. I was hoping you could maybe give me some advice since it’s your best friend duty and everything.”

Benji chuckled and nodded. “You want my honest opinion? I think it’s just the nerves. I mean, you two were involved in the same accident, where you both could have been seriously injured. That’s something that’ll be on your mind for quite a while; and since it seems that you were the cause of it, I understand you’ll also feel some sort of protectiveness over her. It’s not uncommon, and it probably won’t even last for too long. It just happened yesterday, correct?” Jason nodded. “Exactly. So, it’s going to be in your system for a bit, and you might even feel it’s something more, but I highly doubt it is.”

Jason took it all in and looked out the window, sighing softly. “You may be right. I really hope you are. It just feels a little different is all, but it’s probably just what you’re saying.”

“Jay, she’s hot. I get that, and I also get that you might be sort of attracted to her, but be real here. Look at who she hangs around with; look at them and then look at us. What are the chances of her feeling anything for a hoodlum like you?”

Jason gasped in mock shock. “Hoodlum? How dare you, Benjamin? I’m hurt.”

“Oh, I bet you are,” Ben laughed. “But seriously, just try and take my advice. Wait a week or so, and if nothing changes, come talk to me again and we’ll see what happens.”

“All right,” Jason nodded and smiled at his friend. “Thanks, Ben.”

“No problem, man. You can talk to me about anything. But promise me that you’ll talk to me about it again if you need to.”

“I promise. Now, you promise me that you won’t say anything to Bran about this. It’s bad enough that you know, but he’s a lot more hot-headed than you are, so there’s no doubt in my mind he’ll try and pummel me or something.”

Benji chuckled. “Don’t worry about it. My lips are sealed.”

Jason smiled and leaned over to open his car door, he and Ben both exiting the vehicle.



Jason grunted as he gnawed fiercely at a strip of beef jerky, desperately trying to bite a piece off. Brandon and Benji both watched with matching looks of amusement as they chewed on their own pieces.

“What the fuck!” Jason exclaimed as a piece finally tore off and his head flew back and hit the tree behind him.

“Dude, I think beef jerky is just not for you. Maybe you should try a piece of fruit,” Brandon said, he and Ben laughing.

“Man, shut up. This shit is tough as hell.”

Jason swallowed the piece in his mouth and continued his attempt to finish off the jerky, Ben and Brandon laughing at his troubles all the while. He gave up, finally, after a few minutes and threw what was left of the shred onto the ground.

He reached forward to grab his bottle of water, opening it and knocking his head back to take a long swig of it. His eyes drifted around the lunch yard as he drank, trying to be subtle as he searched aimlessly for the girl who’s been invading his mind like the plague. His heart thudded loudly when he finally found her sitting at her usual spot and reading a book. He took the bottle away from his mouth and placed it back down in front of him, leaving nothing else in his way to watch and study her.

She looked smart, smarter than any of the girls she hung around with and definitely smarter than the guys. It made Jason wonder even more just what in the hell she was doing with that group. He shook his head a little, just enough for himself to notice, and continued to watch her.

He’d secretly been hoping that she might, by chance, look up and see him. It was almost like a test, in the sense that he wanted to see how she would react; whether it be to smile or wave, or do just what she said she would yesterday and ignore him. He watched her carefully, as she lowered the book and reached for a bottle in front of her.

It was then, though, that her gaze lifted from the beverage and over toward where Jason and his friends sat. He couldn’t be sure if she was looking at him; she could have easily been looking at someone or something else. But just the fact that she was looking in his direction made Jason’s stomach jump. He looked back, his eyes staying trained and holding contact for as long as possible. His lips turned up into a small smile, just in case she was showing the same gesture, to which Jason couldn’t be sure of either considering she was on the other side of the yard.

After a few moments of this, she looked away and back down to the book she’d previously been reading. Jason looked away too and took a deep breath to steady his heartbeat. He made quick glances to both Brandon and Benji to make sure they hadn’t noticed his brief period of silence and was relieved to see they were both engaged in some odd game of 'uncle' with their hands.

Jason looked away from the two, and back down to the ground. He realized, thanks to the undeniable ache in his chest, that this just made things ten times worse.