Catfish

The air was chilly and Penelope had a scarf wrapped tightly around her neck to combat the cold. Even that, accompanied by her gray pea coat, wasn’t enough to keep her from shaking. She walked through the park, while being careful to stay underneath the lamps, until she came across the bench Liam had been sitting at just hours before.

They hadn’t designated an exact place to meet aside from the park, but she hoped he’d come to the same conclusion she did and end up at that spot.

Wrapping her coat more tightly around her body, Penelope sat on top of the small bench with her head in her hands, much like Liam had done. Her thoughts were racing as they often did when he filled her mind, but she tried to keep her head from running wild.

She had tried to take a shower, go to sleep, and forget all about what had happened, but no matter how hard she tried, her body would not succumb to the sleep she so desperately needed. That was why she had called Liam. She knew she wouldn’t be able to get any rest until she could see him again.

“Penelope?”

His voice was just barely above a whisper, and Penelope whipped her head around to face him. He had a soft glow in his eyes, which was accompanied by the worried furrowing of his eyebrows.

“Hey, Li,” she said simply, as she patted her hand against the spot next to her. Liam took it as his cue to sit down and he slowly moved over to her, placing himself just close enough that he could smell her sweet hair, but far enough away that they weren’t touching. After a pause, Penelope spoke again. “Thanks for meeting me.”

Liam smiled at her, giving a nervous nod of his head. “It’s not a problem really.”

Penelope nodded back, biting nervously at her bottom lip. The two sat in a moment of silence, with the wind whipping between them. It was far too chilly to be out at night, but at that moment, neither of them cared.

When the silence became too much for Liam, he turned his head to her, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck.

“Was there something you needed or –”

“Just wanted to talk, I guess,” she interrupted, shrugging her shoulders.

Liam nodded, rubbing his finger against his bottom lip. “Something specific?”

“Not really,” Penelope said, shaking her head. She paused for a moment as she folded her hands in her lap. “Well, I guess, yes?”

She knew that she sounded unsure of herself, but that was because she wasn’t sure of much of anything anymore. She knew she wanted to see Liam. She knew she wanted to talk to him. She knew she wanted to clear up everything so she could think like a normal person again, but she wasn’t exactly sure how to go about any of it.

“What is it?” Liam asked, locking his eyes with hers. She looked into his soft, dark eyes, knowing that those were the eyes she’d spent forever dreaming about. It was still so strange to have him in front of her, even though he didn’t end up being who she thought he would be.

She paused for a moment, clicking her tongue against her teeth. She wanted more time to think, but she knew that no matter how much time she spent thinking, nothing would become more clear without him there.

Liam let out a deep breath, speaking when she had paused for far too long. “Pen, I know you’re angry–”

“I’m not angry, Li,” she interrupted, shaking her head. She sighed, pulling her chilling finger over and over. She watched her hands for a moment before looking back up at him. “I’m not angry. I’m just confused, I guess. I don’t understand it at all.”

Liam knew exactly what she was talking about and he wanted more than anything to have it make sense to her.

Letting out a sigh, he shifted his body so he was facing her. He wrapped his hands around hers, nearly startling her with his warm touch, and looked into her eyes. It was the only time they had touched aside from their kiss, and it was shocking to Penelope how perfect that simple touch from him could be. She had to remind herself to listen when he spoke, because it was hard to focus when he was so close to her.

“I know it doesn’t make much sense, and the truth is that it doesn’t make sense to me.” Liam bit his lip, pausing as he shook his head. “I just got sick of all the screaming fans and the paparazzi and the whole life that I was living. I just wanted to feel normal again, even if it was only for a moment, and you made me feel normal. You make me feel normal.” Liam took a deep breath, while his hand squeezed more tightly around hers. “I tried to tell you the truth. Believe me, I did. But I would just get so scared that I’d lose you – that I’d lose the one person that was always exactly what I needed – and I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you, Penny, but in trying to keep you, I just lost you even more.”

The moment he was done speaking, Liam dropped her hand, looking back out at the playground in front of them. His eyes were somewhere else though, just like his mind, and Penny knew that no matter how many times he explained it, she would never really understand, because she wasn’t him. She didn’t know what it was like to live the life he did, but she could understand not wanting to lose someone so badly that you’d do anything.

She felt that way every time she thought of Liam. She wasn’t sure whether or not she should forgive him, but she knew she was going to. Liam meant so much to her that she knew she’d forgive his mistake eventually.

“Penny, I –”

Before Liam could finish his sentence, Penelope leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. The words got lost on her lips and she felt so perfect that Liam couldn’t even remember what he was going to say.

There was something deeper going on between them both and it was going to take a lot more than a kiss in the park to make things better. There would be the paparazzi, the tour, and the pressure of them finally knowing who the other was, but at the very least, they had a chance.