Catfish

Liam had his head tucked in his hands, as the chilly London air blew over him. His black pea coat did little to held the cold, but he was thankful, because if nothing else, the breeze helped to calm his nerves, even if it was only a little bit.

At that moment, the only thing that was moving more quickly than his racing heart were the millions of thoughts that were running through him brain far too quickly for him to keep up with. He felt a thousand different things, but most of all, he felt nervous. That overwhelming nervous feeling that no matter how hard he tried, what was about to happen was completely out of his control.

He wished Nev and Max hadn’t left him there to go meet Penelope, because now that he was alone, all he wanted to do was run away.

He knew that the moment Penelope saw him – who he really was – she was going to hate him. In the very beginning, they’d made a promise to one another that they would never lie, but that was all that he had done. Lie after lie, he dug himself deeper into a hole that he couldn’t get out of. He was stuck, and Penelope was going to hate him for it.

Not only that, he’d have to face the shock and awe she’d have when she realized the person she had been talking to was someone famous – a worldwide phenomenon, at that. On top of all the lies, that news was going to be the hardest to break, and that was the news he wouldn’t have to tell her.

She’d take one look at him and know he was. She’d take one look and know all the lies he told.

Through all his racing thoughts, Liam barely heard the sound of a small branch cracking behind him. His breath hitched in his throat, and it only took him a few milliseconds to realize that it could be her – that it probably was her.

His head whipped around faster than he could keep up with, and his eyes were immediately met with a pair of soft blue ones. She looked so beautiful with her blonde hair curled softly around her face, her pale skin nearly matching the light color. The freckles that dotted her cheeks and nose were like small little stars that lit up her face. She looked like an angel standing in front of him, and she immediately took his breath away.

“Penelope?”

It was only one word, but it was all he could manage to get out.

She gave a soft nod, with her mouth hung open in confusion, and it nearly knocked him to the ground.
It was her. Penelope was standing in front of him. The girl he had been waiting for was finally there. She was so close that he could touch her, and he wanted so badly to run his fingers through the soft curls he had spent every night dreaming about, but he knew he couldn’t.

“Liam?”

Her voice was near a whisper, the words shaking just like her trembling lips. She looked scared, nervous, and shocked, but more confused than anything else, and he knew he had to explain.

“Penny, I – ” His voice shook, and he paused to catch his breath. “I know this doesn’t make sense but –”

“But you’re –” She gave a long pause, her eyes roving over his face. He didn’t know if he should speak, but before he could make a decision, she continued. “You’re supposed to be a university student,” she said, her eyes blinking quickly. “You’re studying political science. You told me all about it.”

“I know, Pen, and I’m so sorry.” He paused trying to gauge her reaction, but it was nearly impossible when he’d never seen her eyes before. It didn’t take a genius to see how upset she was, though, and he hated that he made her that way. He’d broken her trust, and he didn’t know if he could ever get that back. “I – I know this doesn’t make up for lying to you, but –” He looked to the floor, taking in a deep breath. “I just wanted to be normal. Even if I was only normal when I was talking to you, I just wanted to feel it.”

Penelope’s eyes were blinking impossibly fast, and it was obvious she was doing the best she could to wrap her mind around everything. He knew it was a lot for her to take in. All she expected was to do was meet the boy from the university hours away that she’d been talking to forever. She hadn’t planned on everything she thought she knew being crushed. She hadn’t planned on that boy being a star.

“I just don’t understand,” she whispered, as she shook her head. She was talking to herself, as he knew she often did, and if he hadn’t been so wrapped up in his emotions, Liam would have chuckled at her. She was just so perfect that way.

Liam knew that she needed a moment to understand, so he let her stare at the ground, while the wheels in her head turned over and over. He would give anything to just make it all better. To have her understand every reason he had for doing what he did. To make her not hate him. But he couldn’t make her feel anything she wasn’t ready to.

With her mouth shut tightly, she looked back up at him, her lips pursed. Her eyes looked him up and down, over and over again, and Liam had no idea what to do next.

“I have to go,” she said, her words so quick that Liam barely had time to process them, before she spun around. Her blonde hair whipped behind her, as she stepped away from him, and he wanted to reach out and grab her – to stop her from leaving – but he didn’t know what he could say to get her to stay.

He had ruined everything with his lies, and he wasn’t sure if he could ever fix it, but he knew he had to try.