Catfish

Breaths fell in and out of Penelope’s lungs just as quickly as she could catch them. Her mind was a blur, and all she could do was walk, and try to put as much distance between her and Liam as she could. Her legs were moving of their own accord, and she was just thankful that she didn’t have to think about it, because all of her thoughts were focused on Liam.

She had to admit that when she saw him, she was a little star struck at first, but how could she not be? Of course, she knew he was. She knew exactly who he was, and that only made the situation all the more strange.

Why did a boy like Liam Payne need to talk to a girl he had never met? He had millions of girls dropping at his feet, so why did he waste his time talking to her? More importantly, why did he waste his time lying to her?

Pressing her thumb to her cheek, Penelope wiped away the lone tear that had fallen from her eye. She was trying not to let her emotions get to her, but she wasn’t doing a very good job. The situation was all just too much for her to handle, and she wanted to turn all of her feelings off and make them go away.

She wanted to keep walking and forget that she had ever talked to Liam in the first place. She wanted to forget about all the hours they’d spent on the phone, and the nights she’d stayed awake thinking about them. She wanted to pretend it never happened, because in reality, it was all just a lie anyway.

“Penelope, wait!”

His voice called behind her – the same voice she’d heard thousands of times before – and it only made her walk faster. She wanted to get as far away from him as possible, but he wasn’t making it easy.

His hand fell to her elbow, and she spun around immediately, ready to yell at him and tell him she never wanted to speak to him again, but she didn’t. She looked into his eyes and froze, because even though she was more angry with him than she had ever been before, those soft brown eyes were everything she had imagined on the nights she laid awake with thoughts of him, and they took the breath from her body once again.

She wasn’t sure if he knew the effect he had on her, but he simply looked down at her, his eyes pleading with her to hear him out, even if only for a second.

“I know you must hate me,” he said, pausing as he bit his bottom lip. “And I don’t blame you for that. I lied to you and I know how badly that must hurt –”

“No, you don’t know, Li,” she interrupted, pulling her elbow from his grasp. “I didn’t lie to you the way you lied to me. I didn’t pretend to be somebody that I wasn’t. You don’t know how badly it hurts. I fell for someone that was a lie. I fell for someone that doesn’t even exist.”

Liam tugged at his bottom lip more tightly, making the skin turn even redder. She watched as his thoughts washed over him like a bucket of ice water, and he shut his eyes. He paused for what felt like forever before he opened his eyes again and met hers.

She had no clue what kind of thoughts were running through his head, and even as hurt as she was, she was dying to know.

“Was this all a joke to you?” she asked, her lips trembling as she spoke. “Was the whole thing just one big joke?”

“Penny, no. It wasn’t a joke at all.” He looked to the ground, as he shook his head. His eyes moved back up to hers, and he bit his lip once more. “When we first spoke, there was something about you that I just wanted to hold onto forever. I thought one little lie wouldn’t hurt, if it meant we could just talk. But then we talked more and more, and the lies just kept piling on. Sometimes I couldn’t even keep track of them all, but I just didn’t want to lose you, so I kept going. I don’t know what I thought was going to happen or how I thought I was going to fix it, but I guess I didn’t care because I still had you.” He sighed, as a deep breath fell from his lips. “I’m so sorry that I hurt you, Pen. If I could take it back, I would.”

Penelope closed her eyes, because it was the only thing that she could think to do. She was so angry and hurt that she didn’t know what to think anymore. It wasn’t fair – what Liam had done to her – and it wasn’t fair that she didn’t get the happy ending she had expected.

She wished that the whole thing would have gone the way she planned. She wished that she could have walked up to Liam and been met with the face of a man she had never seen before, but she couldn’t, because that man was a lie. That man didn’t exist.

“If you want to walk away, I understand,” he continued. “I won’t blame you.”

She wanted to walk away so badly, because Liam had hurt her more than she ever thought he would, but her legs wouldn’t move. Deep down, she knew that Liam had never meant to hurt her. All he wanted was a chance at being normal, but he had lied to her in the process, and whatever reasons he had didn’t make any of it right.

But as she looked into his soft brown eyes, which she had thought about so many nights before, she realized that he was still him. He was still the Liam she had spent every waking moment thinking about. He was still the boy she had talked to for hours before going to bed. He was still the one that cheered her up when she was upset, and knew exactly what to say to make her feel better.

He had lied to her about who he really was, but he was still him. He was still the boy that she’d fallen for.
So even though she was more hurt than she had ever been, she still wanted to be near him. She wanted to tell him how long she’d been waiting to meet him. She wanted to tell him how badly she wanted to be with him. She wanted to tell him everything she had ever felt, but she had no idea where to start.

“Please say something,” Liam whispered, his eyes blinking a thousand times per minute and his lips a trembling mess. He looked scared, worried, and nervous all at once.

Penelope had no idea what to say to him, because nothing she could say would feel right, so she did the only thing that made any sense.

Taking a deep breath, she stood on her tiptoes, so she was at eye level with Liam. His soft brown eyes looked into her, and he looked every bit as nervous and confused as she was. It took every bit of faith and courage that she had, but she leaned forward, until her face was just inches away from Liam’s.

He smelled like peppermint, which was one of the last things she expected, but it was nice, and she thought she could get used to it.

His eyes still showed the confusion on his face, but as she leaned forward a bit more, realization dawned on him, and his lips began to quiver. He reached forward, his hand running through her hair, and she wondered if it was as soft as he thought it would be.

With his fingers slowly moving to her cheeks, her eyes fell shut at almost the exact same time as his. She felt more nervous than she’d ever been, and she wasn’t sure how long she could handle the wait.

In an instant, their lips met and Penelope’s body melted. He was so soft and warm, and she never wanted to pull away.

He was everything that she ever imagined.