Learn How to Play the Game

“He hasn’t rung.” I bit my lip looking at my phone as we stood at the top of the run.

“Maybe he isn’t going to.” Harry shrugged and I snorted.

“He will.” Louis nodded and Harry scratched the back of his neck, “he hates you mate.”

“Thanks Lou.” Harry bit his lip.

“You did break Blair.” Louis reminded him and I hit him on the arm, “what? He did!”

“He did not break me.” I huffed and Louis raised an eyebrow at me, “oh fuck off Lou.”

“This is the last run of the day,” Liam interjected, “let’s just enjoy it yea?”

“Fine.” I nodded and winced.

“Your arm?” Harry asked and I nodded, “I told you that you shouldn’t be out.”

“Come on Haz we leave in two days I’m getting as much of this in as I can.” I shrugged, “I’ll rest on tour.”

“Come on.” Louis pushed Harry and I laughed.

“You ready Li?” I asked and he grinned.

“Course I am.” He smirked, “I’m going off that jump.”

“I’ll be right behind you.” I told him and he chuckled.

“Harry is going to freak.” Liam remarked and I shrugged.

“Let him.” I watched as he started down the run, “I guess it’s a good job we’re behind them right?”

“He’ll see you.” Liam pointed out and I laughed.

“I am not letting Harry decide if I can do a jump or not.” I shook my head, “are you coming or what?”

Liam fastened his binding before going off in front of me and I laughed following him. We made sure to stay behind the boys and I could see Louis teasing Harry as they went down cutting in close to him and causing Harry to yell out after him. He was being dangerous but I knew he wouldn’t do anything to get either of them hurt, he was an amazing skier. Liam was a good boarder and he pointed at the jump looking over at me and I nodded as we both made our way towards it, he went off it first and did a 360 in the air. He landed and I saw Harry and Louis snap their heads to find me, Louis laughed and Harry frowned as I headed towards the jump. I caught the front of my board in my hand and pulled it towards me as I 360’d. I landed and punched the air coming to a stop next to Liam. He high fived me before we met Lou and Harry at the end.

“That was insane.” Louis grinned, “that landing was perfect.”

“Thanks.” I grinned as Louis hugged me.

“Let’s go back to the chalet.” Harry said taking his skis off and walking off.

“Is he okay?” I asked holding my board under my arm.

“He’s just worried about you.” Louis sighed, “he was a bit shocked that you went off the jump.”

I let out a groan of frustration and ran after him to catch up.

“Haz.” I bit my lip and he looked down at me shaking his head, “don’t be angry at me.”

“It’s fine Blair.” He pursed his lips together.

“It’s not, you’re annoyed.” I pointed out.

“I just want you to be safe Blair and you’re happy to just jump off jumps after completely wiping out yesterday.” Harry shrugged, “don’t pull that face at me Blair, you can’t be pissed because I care.”

“I’m not pissed.” I shook my head, “you can’t tell me what I can and can’t do though.”

“I know B,” he looked skyward, “I get that I’m too protective and if I had it my way you would be permanently wrapped in bubble wrap.”

We walked into the lockeroom of the chalet that you access from the side so you don’t get snow everywhere. I closed the door and Harry was facing me his skis against the wall.

“I just don’t want to lose you.” His hands went to my face holding it gently, “I can’t lose you again.”

“You won’t.” I said softly looking up at him, “I’m okay Haz.”

“You have to understand that every time you do something that's a danger to your life you are risking my entire world.” He told me quietly, “I just get worried about you. I can’t lose you.”

“I’m sorry.” I bit my lip.

He didn’t say anything as he pressed his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. His breath was tickling my lips and I was a little shocked by how he was being.

“Is this about something other than me hurting myself?” I asked quietly and he sighed, “is this about my Dad?”

“Blair.” He started and a small smile crossed my lips.

“You of all people should know I rarely ever listen to anyone.” I chuckled, “I do what I want Haz, if he gets angry whatever. I don’t care. I care about you, about us.”

“He’s your Dad though B.” he bit his lip and I reached up stroking his cheek.

“And you are Harry.” I said simply and he looked confused.

“Why does that matter?” he asked and I chuckled softly.

“You are Harry, you are everything to me.” I told him, “you are the person I’m going to wake up to every morning for the rest of my life.”

A crooked smile appeared as he listened to me.

“Harry we are forever.” I shrugged, “I don’t care what my Dad says, nothing will ever change how we feel about each other. Chin up babe, you need to have more faith in us.”

He pushed me against the locker as he kissed me forcefully, I giggled as he picked me up and I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back.

“So you two are good.” Louis said and Harry pulled away looking over his shoulder at Louis and Liam.

“We heard you stop talking, we thought you might have killed each other.” Liam shrugged, “I see now it was quite the opposite.”

I laughed as Harry put me back on the floor and I stepped around him putting my board on the rack and unzipping my coat. We all stripped down to our thermals and I jumped on Louis back for him to carry me up the stairs. We were laughing about some guy we had seen in a bright orange all in one snowsuit.

“Blair Louis Monroe.” His voice boomed through the house and Louis’ grip tightened on me as I squeaked.

“Put me down.” I said quietly and Louis did.

He walked into the lounge where we were standing and he looked unamused. I felt Harry slip his hand in mine and squeeze it moving to stand next to me. I bit my lip as my Dad stared us down.

“Boys, go to your rooms.” He told them his jaw tightened.

Only Liam moved and he glanced back at the other two before walking up the stairs.

“Louis.” My dad said sternly.

“No.” Louis stepped forward.

“Now.” He told him, “and take him with you.”

“His name is Harry.” I told my Dad, “you know that. Don’t let your anger make you rude Father.”

“Watch your tongue Blair.” My Dad shook his head, “we need to have words.”

“Anything you want to say to me you can say in front of them.” I told him.

“Go upstairs Harry.” My dad spat his name and I felt his grip on my hand tighten.

“With all due respect sir I think it is me you need to speak to, not Blair.” Harry straightened up to his full height.

I had never compared them before but I noticed how my Dad suddenly seemed small. He used to be the giant in my life and I remember being small and associating his size with strength. My Dad was a medium build and his hair was graying at the sides. He was wearing a pair of dark jeans and a shirt, I noticed it was a soft yellow one with white pin stripes that I had sent him for Christmas. I’m sure he wore it to make a point to me, to remind me how much I loved him but it just served to make me angrier. He wasn’t there for Christmas and he hadn’t been there for my birthday either. He hadn’t been there when I broke down over Harry just like he hadn’t been there when I lashed out repeatedly when I was around 15 about my Mum. No, he had once again been halfway round the world and looking after me had fallen to someone else. I looked at Harry who was in a white top with some grey writing on over the top of his black thermals, he suddenly seemed taller to me and I noticed that he had tensed to the point I could make out his muscles in his biceps through his thermals. His necklace had come untucked and was hanging by his heart. He had been there for my birthday, he was there every time I broke down over the smallest things and even when we weren’t together he went out of his way to make sure I was okay on the anniversary of my mum leaving. He had messed up but he was always there looking out for me, making sure I was okay. He had just stood in the locker room and told me that I was his world.

“John.” Louis stepped in front of us, “there is nothing to be angry about.”

“Louis.” My dad shook his head, “this doesn’t concern you.”

“When it’s about Blair, it always concerns me.” Louis told him.

I finally had my three favourite men in the same room. The three people that I knew would do anything to protect me and they were all tensed and ready for a fight. Louis wasn’t as tall as my Dad or Harry but he had never looked so menacing. He was the only constant man I had in my life and in that moment I was sure he was a man. He had been the only person in this room to always be there for me, he had wiped away every tear and been there for every breakdown.

“Go.” I said softly.

They all looked at me and Harry was biting his lip shaking his head at me.

“Blair.” His voice was low and I met his gaze.

“Haz.” I shook my head, “I’ll be up in a bit.”

“B.” he was pleading with me and I shook my head at him.

“I will be up in a bit.” I told him and he leant forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead softly before walking towards the stairs, he looked back as I put my hand on Louis shoulder, “Lou.”

“Don’t be stupid.” Louis shook his head.

“I’m okay Lou,” I smiled softly at him, “I’m kick ass remember.”

I winked at him and Louis relaxed his shoulders before kissing my temple and walking over to where Harry was standing. The pair walked up the stairs and my Dad’s jaw tightened.

“What do you want?” I crossed my arms and he sighed.

“What the hell are you doing Blair?” he asked.

“I’m snowboarding Dad.” I told him.

“Don’t get smart with me,” he shook his head, “what are you doing back with him?”

“What I decide is none of your business Dad.” I pursed my lips together, “I’m living my life Dad and as my father you should be happy if I am happy. Whatever it is that makes me happy you should be okay with.”

“Him Blair?” he gestured to the ceiling, “he screwed you over.”

“I don’t care.” I shook my head.

“He’ll do it again, going back to him is so weak of you.” He shook his head, “I thought you were stronger than that.”

“I chose to be back with him for all the things he’s done right, I chose to forgive him for the one thing he did wrong. That isn’t weakness.” I shook my head, “that is strength.”

“I don’t think so.” He shook his head, “I’m telling you not to be with him.

“How dare you walk in here and think you have any rule over my life.” I pointed at my chest, “I have been on my own since mum walked out, you walked away from me and I’ve had to learn how to be strong since I was 13. I can make my own decisions and I will do what I want. You don’t get a say in it Dad, you gave up that right the moment you walked out that door after making me believe we were a team. Us against the world is what you said to me. I was 13 Dad. You were my hero.”

“Blair.” He said softly and I shook my head at him.

“You never moved on from her, you just run away from it all.” I snapped at him, “you don’t even see me because I remind you her. I don’t even remember the last time we spent proper time together. The last Christmas we had together she was there for fucks sake.”

He shifted uncomfortably and I wiped the tears that I hadn't noticed had fallen from my face, I realised I was shaking but my feet were planted firmly on the ground. This argument was a long time coming and I knew from the look in his eye that he knew every word I said was true.

“He isn’t mum Dad.” I told him, “ and I’m not living my life in fear like you seem to.”

“Are you happy?” he asked quietly and I nodded, “does he really make you that happy?”

“He’s my world Dad.” I stepped forward, “I need him every second of the day, I just want to be near him and I can’t explain to you how different I feel now that we are back together. It’s like someone has just sucked all the anger I felt right out of me.”

“Why?” he asked curiously stepping forward and I shrugged.

“I don’t know.” I bit my lip, “maybe it’s his stupid hair and cute smile or maybe it’s the way he knows I’m a complete mental case sometimes but always knows what to say to calm me down. I don’t know Dad, all I know is that when he holds my hand I know everything will be okay because he is there and he cares.”

“I do care Blair.” He spoke softly, “I’m sorry I’ve been such a rubbish father to you.”

“You haven’t been rubbish.” I mumbled shifting uncomfortably, “you were just never there.”

“I’ll promise to try harder.” He gave me a small smile, “maybe you and your old man could go snowboarding together tomorrow?”

“Maybe.” I nodded before smiling, “I forgot you snowboarded.”

“Who do you think taught you?” he chuckled, “you better go tell Harry I won’t kill him.”

“I don’t think he ever feared for himself, he’s probably hoping I won’t kill you.” I chuckled and my Dad smiled.

“You get your strength from her.” He bit his lip.

“Really?” I raised my eyebrow at him, “I’ve always thought she was weak, just running away and never looking back.”

“It would take a lot of strength to never come back for you.” He told me and I shook my head.

“She’s weak, she won’t come back because she wouldn’t be able to take what she found.” I felt myself tense up, “I never want to see her again.”

My Dad didn’t say anything but he reached forward and hugged me. He clung to me and I rested my head against his chest listening to his heartbeat, it felt familiar but at the same time foreign. He was my Dad but his heartbeat didn’t calm me and whilst I didn’t feel uneasy I didn’t feel safe either. He didn’t feel like home anymore.

“I’m going to.” I gestured upstairs and he nodded.

I ran up the stairs and almost collided with Harry and Louis at the top of the stairs.

“You two are ridiculous.” I rolled my eyes at them.

“Come here.” Harry wrapped his arms around me and I buried my face in his chest.

I clung onto him and felt myself start to cry tears I hadn’t even realized I was holding in. His heart was pounding against his chest and I relaxed in his hold, the rhythm of his heart was calming and his familiar smell paired with the way he was holding me felt like home. I was safe and loved. I tightened my grip on him and he kissed my head softly as he stroked my head.

“I love you.” I whispered into his shirt.

“I love you too.” He lifted my head to look into my eyes, “I really do.”

I reached up and kissed him softly as Louis cleared his throat.

“So everything is good?” he checked and I laughed, “those are tears of relief right?”

“Course.” I wiped the tears away stepping away from Harry and hugging Louis, “thank you.”

“You and Harry are good.” He whispered into my hair, “I’m not saying I love it, but I don’t hate it.”

“Thanks Lou.” I smiled at him, “your blessing means more to me than anybody else’s.”

“I love you Blair.” He smiled tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

“I love you too.” I grinned.

“I’ll leave you two to talk.” Louis walked down the corridor and I turned to Harry.

He took my hand in his and we walked to my room.

“I was going to tell you I loved you somewhere better than the top of the stairs after you had torn strips off your Dad but…” he trailed off and laughed, “it was meant to be more romantic than that.”

“I don’t care where we said it Haz.” I held his face in my hands, “it just matters that we said it. We’ve done the romantic nights when we say it for the first time. We don’t need to do it again.”

“I just want to make you happy.” He shrugged, “I want you to feel special.”

“The fact you choose to be with me out of every other girl in the world makes me feel like the specialist girl ever.” I smiled softly, “I never understand why you picked me to love.”

“I didn’t pick you Blair.” He rested his forehead against mine, “we didn’t pick each other.”

I met his gaze and licked my bottom lip, I could feel his breath on my lips and I wanted to kiss him but my curiosity for hearing the end of the sentence outweighed that want.

“We didn’t pick each other Blair,” he repeated, “because we were made for each other.”