Learn How to Play the Game

“We were just kids in love
The summer was full of mistakes we wouldn't learn from
The first kiss stole the breath from my lips
Why did the last one tear us apart?” I finished and the crowd screamed.

“Alright that was the last song. I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did.” I bit my lip, “I hope you’re excited for Ed. Thank you for having me!”

I waved as I walked off the stage and Ed grabbed me into a hug before bouncing onto the stage.

“Did you love her?” Ed asked laughing as the crowd screamed, “she’s a beauty huh?”

I chuckled as I watched him onstage singing his heart out. I had loved opening the show for him. I felt like I had the other day on the stage but magnified. I was in control and I could feel the audience responding to me. Loving me. It was an amazing feeling.

“I want to tell you a story if that’s alright?” He took a breath, “it sort of goes with this next song. It’s about a guy and a girl. I know, cliché. This girl is beautiful, like smokin’, and she’s got this personality so electric it could light up the whole of London. And he, he’s amazing. They are amazing together, like they were made for each other. But they aren’t together anymore but they should be. So this cover is for them because I’m a fucking huge fan of theirs.”

He started playing Wonderwall and I bit my lip, it was Harry and I he was talking about. I pursed my lips together and pulled my phone out clicking on Louis name.

I’m in

Your sure?

As sure as I’ll ever be.

Perfect. We have an album preview listening party tomorrow, you have to be there.

Wouldn’t miss it for the world

Ed’s set finished and he walked off wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me into his dressing room.

“We didn’t get a chance to talk earlier.” He said as he put is guitar in its case.

“We didn’t.” I nodded sitting on the sofa.

“Can we have a chat?” he asked and I nodded, “about Harry.”

“Ed.” I shook my head.

“Come on Blair.” He sighed.

“Ed I can’t talk about him right now.” I sighed putting my head in my hands, “for fucks sake why does everyone want to talk about Harry fucking Styles.”

“Maybe because we all love you both?” Ed suggested grabbing my hand and pulling me up, “let’s go drink beer.”

“That’s the best thing you have said all night.” I smiled slightly at him as he draped his arm around my shoulder as we walked out the building, through the fans and cameras and into he back of an awaiting car.

We decided to just go back to mine and I opened the door to hear voices in the living room. I looked at Ed confused and he shrugged. We walked into the room to see Jenny and Henry watching tv and eating pizza.

“Blair.” Jenny blinked a few times, “you brought Ed Sheeran home with you.”

“I’m aware.” I smiled as Ed chuckled.

“Wow.” Henry gaped.

“Close your mouth Hen.” I shook my head and Ed’s eyes went wide.

“So you are Henry.” Ed nodded and I pushed him lightly.

“I am.” Henry had an amused smile on his face, “you’ve heard of me?”

“Yea.” He nodded, “Harry mentioned you in passing.”

“Ah right. Styles.” Henry nodded and Ed looked at me obviously feeling slightly uncomfortable.

“Right well Ed and I will be in my room.” I pointed down the hall and grabbed Ed pulling him into my room.

“He looks a lot like Harry.” Ed told me and I chuckled

“Let’s cook some fajitas.” I opened my wardrobe and pulled my onesie out.

“Please tell me fresh prince of bel air is on this shelf?” he ran his finger along my stack of DVDs.

“Course.” I chuckled I zipped it up and threw my spare one at Ed, “suit up.”

“Ah you’re an angel.” He grinned as I walked out to let him change.

“Ed Sheeran is in my home.” Jen grinned happily as I walked into the kitchen.

“He is.” I nodded opening the fridge to gather ingredients, “he’s also making me fajitas.”

“Team effort.” Ed said walking in and I rolled my eyes.

“Cook for me.” I groaned.

“Nope.” Ed chuckled.

“Your Ed Sheeran. In a onesie. In my kitchen.” Jen stuttered and he laughed.

“Is she always like this?” he asked and I shook my head.

“She was a lot better around the boys.” I shrugged referring to One direction.

“Even Harry?” Ed asked and I nodded, “fuck yea! Got one over on Styles.”

I laughed as we started cooking. He was cracking jokes making references to the different television series that we watched and Jenny left after feeling lost in our conversation. It wasn’t until we were in my bed watching fresh prince and eating fajitas that Ed tried to talk to me about Harry again.

“Have you spoken to him?” he asked and I nodded, his eyebrows shot up, “really?”

“A few times.” I sighed, “it’s hard though. Awkward.”

“Awkward?” he raised an eyebrow and I nodded, “that’s hard to imagine, you two have never been awkward with each other.”

“Yea well times have changed,” I pursed my lips together and he sighed.

“What do you want Blair? You're ideal scenario.” he asked and I bit my lip.

“You’re the first person to ask me that.” I told him and he cocked his eyebrow, “ask me what I want from this.”

“So what is it?” he asked.

“I want him to move on.” I whispered, “I want him to stop looking at me like I’m holding his world in my hands.”

Ed didn’t say anything as he watched me think about his question. My voice was cracking and I hated it. I sounded so weak, so pathetic.

“I want to move on as well.” I bit my lip, “I want to stop hating everything. I hate that I hate everything and I know that’s ironic but I don’t care. I’m sick of being so angry. I'm sick of feeling like this.”

“Then do something about it.” He said softly.

“I’ve been trying to.” I bit my lip, “I know everyone thinks I’m a mess.”

“We don’t think that.” He shook his head, “it’s been hard not seeing you though Blair.”

I rested my head on his shoulder and he hugged me closer.

“I just wanted to hold you and sing to you when I heard.” He murmured into my hair, “you always said you’d ring me to sing to you when you were sad. I sat by the phone for the call.”

“I’m sorry.” I sniffed, “I’m sorry I pushed you away.”



So I saw @Blairr playing last night. I think Harry broke her heart.

I bit my lip staring at the tweet. I thought back on what song it could be in reference to. I covered Save your Heart by Mayday Parade so that may have been it, I also sang RIP with a bit more venom than was probably need. Regardless I felt a little bad, he may have broken my heart but it was kind of an unspoken agreement that we weren’t going to tell the fans about the break up. It was our business not theirs. I tossed my phone back on my bed as I pulled out a grey jumper and my red jeans before lacing my black belt through. I grabbed my black mulberry handbag and ran a hand through my hair making sure I looked presentable. I walked out my room and spotted Jen on the sofa watching television.

“Do I look okay?” I asked and she spun around to check me out.

“Yea, where are you off?” she asked.

“One Direction album listening thing,” I sighed, “I agreed to go on tour with them.”

‘That’s great!” she grinned and I nodded, “you don’t look happy about it.”

“I’m still unsure if it was my best move but,” I shrugged and she nodded.

“I think it’s a good move.” She assured me and I sighed.

“Right, well. Wish me luck.” I told her and she grinned.

“Good luck.” She called after me as I walked out the door.

I jumped into my car and threw my bag on the passenger seat. It was going to be fine, I assured myself as I started the drive to the studio Lou told me to go to.



I looked around the room as everyone sat together waiting to listen to the album. Louis kept whispering in Eleanor’s ear, Liam kept looking at his twitter and Zayn was doodling on a notepad. Niall was sat next to me with one arm wrapped around the back of my chair, he was playing cut the rope in between trying to make me laugh with cheesy jokes. Harry was sat opposite me and I knew without looking that his right knee was bouncing up and down. He kept rearranging his hair as he avoided looking in my direction, his phone kept buzzing he kept checking it sighing heavily as he replied to whoever was on the other side of his response, in my head I decided it was Lou. I was surprised she wasn’t here. Different people kept walking in and out as we waited for the final copy of the cd arrived. I kept my eyes trained on Harry as I thought about my conversation with Ed, I wondered if Ed had said anything to Harry. If Harry knew I wanted him to move on, to forget about me and our relationship. Eventually the copy arrived and we all looked at the cover and Zayn grinned at his illustrations.

“It’s going to be epic.” Niall grinned and I laughed.

“I know.” I nodded, his smile and enthusiasm was infectious.

The music started, I sat back closing my eyes to concentrate on the sounds. I bit my lip listening to the songs, hearing words that Harry and I had said to each other laced through the songs. I knew that they changed lyrics of the songs other people had written to make it feel like their own, sound like them but this was personal. Harry was looking anywhere but me and I was getting agitated and my own knee had started bouncing.

“We’re so Paris when we kiss. When we kissed I remember the taste of your lipstick.”

I glared at Louis, hurt that this song was obviously about me and he was there singing a verse about me. About mine and Harry’s time together. He held his hands up. I sighed looking at my feet, I knew I was being stupid getting angry at him. This was what he did and I couldn’t get angry at that even if I did feel betrayed. I felt Niall take my hand in his and I look over at him as he squeezed it before leaning forward to whisper in his ear.

“The next song. Listen to it. He wrote it when you were still together.” He whispered.

As soon as the song begun I closed my eyes focusing on the lyrics despite not really wanting to hear them. It was a soft song and the lyrics were tugging at my heart strings. It was like seeing a slideshow of memories in my mind as each line spoke about our relationship so honestly.

“They don’t know about the things we do
They don’t know about the "I love yous"
But I bet you if they only knew
They would just be jealous of us,
They don’t know about the up all nights
They don’t know I've waited all my life
Just to find a love that feels this right"

As soon as Louis started singing I stood up and walked out. I didn’t know what I felt but I couldn’t stay in there listening to it. I was angry at myself for reacting like this but at the same time I couldn’t understand why Louis didn’t see this happening when he asked me to come. I groaned banging my head against the wall a bit.

“You’ll hurt yourself.” A voice said behind me.

“Go away Harry.” I shook my head my eyes closed as I rested my forehead against the cold wall.

“Why did you walk out?” he asked

“I asked you to go.” I groaned.

“Why do you find it so hard to have a conversation with me?” he asked.

“I’m not going to listen to our relationship be sung to me,” I looked up at him, “I can’t.”

“I’m sorry.” He pursed his lips together, “I really am.”

“Yea well you aren’t the one that the fans hound about it.” I leant against the wall facing him but looking at the floor.

“I am.” He chuckled, “I have hundreds of messages everyday reminding me that I made a huge mistake.”

“They are going to have a field day over these songs.” I mumbled and he bit his lip.

“The songs don’t just credit me on writing them. They credit everyone.” He told me and I hummed, “I won’t tell people they are about you. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Okay,” I nodded, “thanks.”

“Don’t thank me.” Harry shook his head, “did you like the songs?”

I raised an eyebrow at him as he stepped forward reaching for my hands. I took my hands out of his rolling my eyes at him.

“You don’t get to write songs about me and expect me to fall back into your arms, that isn’t how this works Harry.” I pursed my lips together, “I’m not that naïve.”

“Blair.” He sighed and I shook my head.

“Someone asked me the other night what I wanted.” I told him and he looked at me curiously, “do you want to know what I said? What I really want Harry?”

“Of course I do.” He nodded.

“I want you to move on.” I said carefully, “I want you to stop looking at me with that look in your eye. Stop thinking about me and you together again. I want you to move on, I want you to be with someone else.”

He looked at me shocked. I bit my lip as he stepped away from me. He looked hurt and I felt a pang in my heart as I realized I had caused that look. That I was the reason it looked like someone had kicked the air out of him. I then realized that I’d rather be in that room listening to our relationship being sung about then out here with him looking like that. He was gnawing at his lip and looking at the floor. I could see the tear balancing on the edge of his eye and I walked back into the room leaving him leant up against the wall. I sat back down next to Niall, he grinned at me and I gave him a small smile. I felt emptier inside than I ever had.