Always You

Jack stood outside the door to Alex’s apartment, praying he hadn’t moved or gotten a roommate since he’d last seen him, over a year ago now. He lifted his hand to the doorbell and dropped it what felt like a thousand times before he finally got up the courage to do it.

When Alex hear the doorbell ring, he almost ignored it, but decided to go to the door anyways. When he did, he was absolutely shocked to see Jack, looking tired and too thin and like he hadn’t taken a shower in weeks. When Jack had started dating Eric, he’d just left Alex’s house - it had been their house, then - leaving Alex to discover only later that Jack was now seeing someone. Alex had been so hurt, but nothing in the world would have stopped him from taking Jack inside.

“Uh, hey man. D’you want to come in?” Alex ushered Jack in, closing the door behind them. “So, let me get you something to eat.” Two years of having lived with the previously skunk haired boy had advantages, the main one being that Alex knew to heat up a bowl of spaghetti-os for Jack. When the food was hot, he stuck a spoon in and carried it to the living room. God, every time he looked at Jack he was taken aback by his disheveled appearance.

Jack reached out and accepted the bowl with shaky hands, thinking back to better time when he had eaten spaghetti-os on this couch. “Uh, so Alex, thanks for letting me come in.” Jack’s voice trembled with every word and Alex strained to hear him. “I left Eric.”

“Oh, god, Jack, I’m so sorry.” And he was, he really was, but he couldn’t help but be happy that something, anything, had made Jack come back to him. “I’m glad you’re here, I’ve missed you, bro, but why me?”

Jack bit his lip to hold back tears. “Alex, I tried, I really did, but nobody else would let me, not even my parents, and you were the only person I could think of. I’ve been sleeping in by the hour motels and gas station bathrooms-” Jack’s breath was coming in heaving gaps now, “I don’t remember the last time I got a full night’s sleep. Is it too much to ask that I could maybe, like, crash on your couch just for tonight, and I’ll be gone in the morning before you even wake up.”

Alex wasn’t sure if he was devastated or angry on Jack’s behalf. Nobody had taken him in, and it had been weeks, months, even. Sure, they had parted on horrible terms, if you could even call it that, but he couldn’t imagine turning him away like this. “You- you can sleep here for longer, if you need to. Why wouldn’t anyone let you back in, why did you have to leave?”

Jack sniffled, a stray tear falling down his splotchy face. “Eric, he, um, made me stop talking to everyone? And nobody would take me back in? He kind of, um, hit me? But then he would buy me a nice present or cook me a really nice dinner or something nice and it would be all better. But then, I never knew when he would snap, and he never let me leave, and finally I just… left.” Jack lifted his arm, wiping away the tears that were now covering his face.

Alex grabbed Jack’s arm. He ran a cautious thumb over Jack’s cuts, some fresh, some scabbed, and some starting to form scars. He cocked his head. “Did he do this to you?”

“No,” Jack choked out, a fresh wave of tears streaming from his eyes. “I did it to myself. I deserve it, I’m worthless, I’m,” Jacks’ voice trailed off into nothing.

“Jack,” Alex whispered, his voice soft but firm. He pressed his lips lightly to Jack’s forearm, and looked him in the eyes. “Listen to me, Jack, you’re my best friend, it doesn’t matter how long we’ve been apart, and you’re wonderful.” He trailed a hand along Jack’s cheek. “You’re flawless and gorgeous and I should have come to rescue you earlier. You’re amazing and brave and strong. You’re,”

Alex was cut off by the pressure of Jack’s lips on his, tentative at first, but gaining courage. Alex felt fingers tangle in his hair, and he wrapped his arms around Jack’s waist, but pulled away quickly. Despite how much he wanted it, and that was a lot, he knew that Jack was beyond vulnerable and it just wouldn’t be fair.

“Jack, I want you to stay here. Move back in with me,” Alex hugged the younger man closer, whispering almost inaudibly.

Tears finally fell unrestricted from both boys, and Jack pressed close to Alex’s chest, sobbing softly. “I promise, Lex, never.”