No Place for Women

Things seemed to be more awkward than ever, since the last time I had spoken to Thorin. Since then, it seemed like everyone was pushing away from Calili and I. Even Fili and Kili at some points. It was such a terrible feeling that I have.

Though it felt like Calili was pushing away from me as well. My own sister.

We were currently stopped for the night, and had set up camp earlier. Everyone was sitting together around a nice fire while I was excluded from the group. I was leaned up against a large rock, that was sitting near the small lake that we were stopped by. It reminded me of when this adventure first began for us.

The day we had stopped and all the men went swimming, while Calili and I had only dipped our feet into the water.

That had been a good day. If only there could be more days like that.

I think that was actually the day that I realized how much everyone truly cared about us. Even though we were, are, so different from them. They opened up to us. They included us in everything in every way that they possibly could. They accepted us for who we were, unlike everyone who knows us. They cared.

"What are you doing all alone out here? It's not safe." The sound of Fili's voice so suddenly, caused me to jump; taking bow in hand and aiming it him. "Calm down, it's just me." He held his hands up and smiled. Slowly, I lowered the bow and arrow, and placed it back down to my side. "I just wanted some time away from it all in order to think." I explained.

After a minute, he sat down next to me, keeping a bit of space between us. "Think? What is there to think about? I mean, it's not problems at home, we're dwarves, we don't have a home. You've been acting strange ever since after we handed." I didn't answer him. I simply kept my eyes on the water of the lake that was glittering under the moonlight.

"I made up my mind, Fili. I want you to keep Calili safe throughout the rest of this alright? Promise me." I whispered. He looked at me for a minute, before things seemed to snap into place for him. "This is because of Thorin, isn't it? The things he said that did!! Isn't it!!" He shouted, jumping to his feet. "Just promise me, Fili. I'm asking you, because I know I can't anymore. Take care of her, she's all I have." I whispered, feeling tears threatening my eyes.

"Kila, I don't understand." He said, his eyes focusing solely on my face. "I see the way you look at her. I know if I take her with me, then I'd be taking her away from you; and I couldn't live with myself know that I've done that to her. She cares about you so much Fili. Just promise me that you'll take care her of when I can't. Alright?" I was still speaking quietly, and my voice betrayed me by breaking.

"Alright, I promise. Just tell me why you're saying all these things. I don't understand what's going on." I went back to not answering him.

I was planning on telling him what was going on, I just had to figure out how to say it. "Kila, you're acting really strange. Why won't you just tell me what's going on?" He finally sighed, looking at me. I wanted to tell him. Tell him the truth about what's going on, but I was scared.

Scared that he would hate me for what I had decided to do. I made the decision last night.

I opened my mouth to speak, but the sound of horses stopped me. The men were all up on their feet and armed in a matter of seconds, and Fili was trying to pull me towards everyone to better protect me. Though I knew there was nothing to be afraid of. "What is the meaning of this??" Thorin shouted, clearly mad about the situation at hand.

Upon looking up, I saw Haldir and his men. No one answered Thorin; they just left him standing there mad as ever. "My lady." Haldir bowed his head before dismounting for the horse. Well...he was much taller than I remember. "I've been sent to escort you to our destination." He explained. I went to step forward, when once more Thorin started screaming.

"Will someone explain what is going on here?" He was angry. Haldir now turned his attention to the shorter male. "This does not concern you dwarf." And then his attention came back to me. "With your permission, my lady, we make our leave." He smiled down at me where I stood, now in front of him.

"Kila, what is he talking about?!" Calili shouted, pushing through the small blockade of dwarves that blocked her from me. She had her eyes locked on me. A mix of sadness and curiosity. I know that just the thought of me leaving her alone, hurt her. I can see it in her eyes; and it breaks my heart.

"Our little Kila has decided to take a journey to see the Lady of the Wood; to try and decide what it is she should do next. To try to get away from this life and decide if she will be wed to Lord Elrond like her mother has wanted for all these long years." Gandalf finally stepped into the conversation. Yeah, some help you are.

"What?!" Calili shouted again. "You can't be serious! Kila tell me that he's joking! You can't be leaving." I saw the tears filling her eyes as I walked with Haldir to the horse. He jumped up into the saddle, before offering me his hand and helping me up as well. "I'm sorry, Calili." I whispered just in time before we rode away from where they were standing.

"We will come upon our destination soon; the ride is not too far. Not even half the night will be gone before we get there. But I advise if it is possible, to try to get some sleep on the way, and you can sleep more when we get there." I went to say something, "Don't worry about protection; you're safe with us."