No Place for Women

Calili's POV
Upon returning to the small camp that we had made for the night, I saw Kila storm off away from Balin; she muttered that dinner was done. I couldn't help but feel like laughing when Bombur immediately stood up and went over to the giant pot that sat calmly over the fire. Bofur took the small pile of firewood out of my arms, and nodded his head in the direction that Kila had stormed off in. Though before I got too far, a strong pair of arms went around me, and stopped me from following.

"Leave her alone for right now." Fili said in my ear, "Let Kili be the one to try and get her calm. It's what she needs."

"How do you know what she needs? I'm her sister, not you!" I stated, pushing myself out of his grip.

He seemed slightly sad because of my attitude, "You're right, I'm not her sister, but I have a brother that does the same exact thing. When he's mad, I stay away and I let him calm down on his own time; have you ever tried doing that for your sister? No, because you've always been together. So just try it. Give her time."

I wasn't entirely sure what to say to that. The look on his face was between sad, mad and just plain...well...plain. But I knew that he was right. Whenever Kila would get mad about something to the point where she stormed off, I never left her alone; which only ever seemed to make it worse. Silently, I looked up at him and nodded.

This cause him to smile, before wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling him close to his body. And in that moment, boy was I glad that they had all bathed earlier, because I'm sure that if they hadn't, I would not like where I was standing in this moment.

Kila's POV

Leaning against a tree, my eyes stayed glued out over the cliff. The moon was high in the sky, stars lit up the sky like a seperate little fire in a huge camp. I didn't mean to snap at Balin the way that I did. I just got so mad about what he sad. I'm completely sure why though.

"Kila? Is everything all right?" Kili asked me, stepping out from behind a tree.

I felt like, at any moment, that my emotional barrier would just snap. But I didn't want that, because I don't want to scream and yell at the people that I'm beginnning to care about. These are the people that are like me, the people that know the feelings that I've dealt with my entire life. I don't want to push them away now that I've found them.

"You know, Kili. I'm not even sure anymore." I sniffed, trying not to cry.

"What? What do you mean?" He asked, stepping in front of me.

Even through all of my attempts, a tear slowly began to roll down my cheek as I looked up at him. I felt foolish for letting myself cry in front of him; but as of this point I simply couldn't help myself.

"You know Kili, I'm just so tired recently. All my life I've been trying my hardest to protect my sister. I could care less about my own protection as long as she's safe and happy. But at the same time, I deal with my own thoughts about how much I hate my own father just because he was never around; I don't even know why he was never around. All I really ever knew about him was that my mom always said I look like him." I explained, crying, "And because of that fact, I've never felt like I belong anywhere. I've felt like I never really had a home. Not in Valinor, not in Rivendell, and not even out here in the wild. Before I met Thorin and the rest of this company I felt hopeless and alone. Before I met Bifur or Bofur or Fili or Balin. Until I met you, I felt hopeless-like I was just taking up space. You and the rest of this company are what give me hope now. I'm not just here because I was told what to do; I didn't sign any contract that says I have to be here, I can leave if I want to. But I'm not going to. Because I feel like I belong when I'm with you. Because you've given me something worth fighting for...somewhere where I belong."

He sat in silence for a few moments before he looked me down in the eye. I didn't know what to do next, so I just stood there. That's when he reached up and wiped the tears away from under my eyes. I could feel his breath on my cheeks as he looked down at me.

"You listen to me, and you listen good, alright? I know that you're life has been hard on you, and I know that your dad was never around but I can tell you this. No matter how bad things seem to have gotten there's always something that is worth fighting for. Family, friends, a home. No matter what it is, it will always be there waiting for you. No one else but waiting for you to take action and fight for it. And I'm sorry to say it love, but if you don't do anything about it, then you're not going to get anywhere in life. If you sit there and wallow in your suffering than thats what you deserve; but if you take action then in the end you will get what you've been fighting for all along. I promise you that much." He explained to me.

The words he spoke really did hit me deep, they had real meaning and real feeling behind them. I couldn't help but let more tears slowly roll down my cheeks as I looked up at him.

"What was it like for you?" I asked him, "Growing up, I mean."

"Well, it was tough yes, I'll admit it." He sighed, " But I can't remember it all. I don't remember my dad, at all; but I do remember that whenever our mother was busy she had her brother watch us. Thorin was always a great uncle to us while we were little."

This made me want to laugh, "I could never imagine Thorin watching over you and Fili. Especially with how rowdy you were as children. Or actually I'm guessing that you were a handfull as children," I placed my hand on the back of my head, "Considering how much of a handfull you two are now."

"And just what's that supposed to mean?" He laughed.

"You lost ponies! It's not that hard to watch over them!" I laughed right back.

"Alright then, I'll give you that one." He stuck his tongue out at me, "Now would you like for me to continue my story or not?"

"Alright continue! I want to hear about Thorin raising you." I smiled, looking up at him.

He nodded, and silently grabbed my hand; pulling me over to where a fallen tree was laying on the ground decaying. The top was covered in moss, and it seemed dry enough, so that's where we sat down.

"Now imagine this..." He began, a giant smile on his face....

Calili's POV

I lay a few feet away from the fire, Fili lay in front of me on his back, just looking up at the stars. I liked the way that we are close enough to be able to just sit here in a comfortable silence; it was quite nice actually.

"So, Kila told me that you two grew up out here in the wild?" He asked suddenly, rolling over to look at me.

"Yeah," I smiled, "We did."

"Well, what was is like for you growing up then? I mean, I know it couldn't have been the easiest of things to do. How were you able to survive like in those conditions before you knew how to fight and defend yourself?" He asked me.

"Well, Radagast let us stay with him from time to time; though that was mostly when he and Gandalf were teaching us to fight. Growing up I mean, I don't think it was really all too hard. I mean, we stayed in the areas that we knew were safe as much as possible; and it got a lot easier whenever we actually got weapons. I didn't mind it, I mean, I've always really loved flowers, and Kila love animals; not to meantion that animals really love her too." I explained to him.

"Oh yeah, I noticed that there's always a umm, hedgehog I think it is, on her shoulder. Could you tell me why?" He asked with a small chuckle.

"Sebastian is a hedgehog yes." I laughed, "And actually, Radagast gave him to her as a gift just before we left for Rivendell to visit with our mother. And now here we are with Thorin and Company; travelling to get your home back."

Kila's POV

"So Kila, don't you think that we should be getting back to camp?" Kili asked me, "I mean we've been gone a pretty long time, and it's gotten pretty late."

I looked up in the sky. The moon was currently hiding behind a few clouds, the clouds in the sky were dark and gloomy. Feeling the cold cold begin blowing over my skin, I realized that I didn't have my cloak with me. I had left it back at camp, with Calili.

Silently, I stood up from the moss-covered, fallen tree and wiped any dirt, grass, or water off the back of my dress. Turning to wait for Kili, I felt another cold gust of wind blowing across the sky; causing me to wrap my arms around myself and shiver. I had no way to get warm.

"Are you cold, love?" Kili asked, looking at me in shock.

"Just a bit, but don't worry I'll be fine." I smiled reassuring him, and turning to keep going on my way back to camp.

Though instead, he reached out and grabbed my wrist to keep me from going anywhere. Immediately, he took off his leather jacket and slipped it on over my shoulders.

"There, that should help keep you warm." He smiled that familiar smile I was getting so used to.

"But what about you? Won't you get cold? I don't want you to be cold either!" I fought back.

"Don't worry about me, okay doll? I'll be fine. I have rather thick sleeves on my shirt, so don't you worry a single hair on that pretty little head of yours." He laughed.

Rolling my eyes, I gave in and turned to walk back to camp. That's when he reached down once more, and grabbed my hand. He pulled me slightly closer to him and we both made our way back to camp. I couldn't helped but keep a smile on my face the entire time that we were walking. I also couldn't help but blush when Bofur whistled at the two of us when we got back to camp.

Immediately, I looked around to try to find Calili. That's when Kili pointed to the other side of the fire. There I saw Calili and Fili laying on their sides, looking at each other and talking. I couldn't help but smile; seeing my little sister was the best feeling that I've ever felt. Hands down.

"Why don't we do the same?" Kili smiled, "Lay down I mean."

Smiling, I nodded and moved to where I sitting down, and leaning against a rock. Kili sat down next to me, and pushed me forward just a bit, only to pull me back against his chest. I must say, I really liked this feeling. I couldn't help.

Kili made me feel like I finally belong somewhere. Where ever he is...that's home to me.