Shapes in the Clouds

Hedley didn’t know what was wrong with him. She had tried to talk to him and he had pushed her away. It could have been their only shot to fix everything and go back to being friends. He would have to hope he got the chance again. When she had told him she missed him… it was the words he had yearned to hear for so long and he shot her down when she finally spoke them.

He sighed and dropped his head into Faye’s lap. As soon as he had left the park he had called her. He hadn’t known what else to do. She had been waiting for him to call as she had known he eventually would. Her fingers brushed his shaggy black hair from his forehead and entangled themselves in his hair. She looked down into his deep aqua eyes and sighed.

“She’s really got you messed up, hasn’t she?” Faye asked him delicately.

“Let’s not talk about her, not now,“ he whispered hoarsely. He pulled himself up into a sitting position and rested his head on her shoulder, wrapping his arms around her body. He used to do this with Kaelyn when he needed the comfort. Unfortunately, she was now the reason for his sorrow. He nuzzled his face into her neck as he tightened his grip on her, pulling her into his lap.

Her lips pressed softly against his forehead, then his cheek, and before either of them knew it, their lips were pressed to each others. They were gentle at first, but soon there was an intense desire bringing them together. He had quickly repositioned her body so that she was straddling his waist, pulling her hips closer and closer to his. Her fingers knotted themselves into his hair again, deepening the kiss.

They pulled back for air and looked sheepishly at each other. It had been a while since this had happened between them, and each time they were unsure of how to feel about it. He played with a long strand of blonde hair, twirling it around one of his fingers. He smiled up at her before pulling her lips back down to his. He didn’t care why or how it had begun, but he wasn’t about to stop it.

“Auto,” she murmured between his kisses. “Auto… quit it Hedley!” she exclaimed as she pushed away from him. “Why are you doing this?”

“You were doing it too,” he seethed as he tried to pull her close again, but she was already trying to get further away.

“That was an accident and I don’t understand how it started, to be honest. I want to know why you’re so intent on this! The girl you love is back in your life and you want to make out with me?”

“You mean the girl I loved, not love,” he corrected as he leaned in towards her. “And of course I’d rather make out with you,” he whispered against the flesh of her neck as he kissed it. “You’re sexy, beautiful, an amazing kisser, and one of my best friends.”

“Best friends typically don’t make out,” she pointed out.

“Yeah, that would be how I lost the last one, wouldn’t it,” he mumbled, looking away from her. “I’m sorry Faye.”

“It’s okay,” she murmured, crawling back onto his lap. She caressed his cheek, moving his face to look back at her. She leaned in and kissed him gently again. “It’s not like it’s ever been a problem before, now has it?” She kissed him again and that was how they spent the rest of their evening.

When Faye left Hedley, he was laying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He wasn’t sure what to think anymore. As nice of a distraction as she was, that was all she was. A distraction. Now that she was gone, his thoughts transferred over to that of a certain brunette that had once been his best friend. The girl that he had once loved. The girl that he had never stopped loving.

“What am I going to do?” he asked himself quietly after what seemed like eons of laying in silence.

“Anything you need to talk about, son?” his father asked from the doorway.

Hedley was amazed that he hadn’t heard his dad come in, but hid his shock easily. He nodded his head and moved over so his father could sit on the edge of his bed as he always did.

“I screwed up big, Dad,” he admitted. “Remember the day you told me we were moving?” His father nodded to show that he was listening, though Hedley had his eyes focused on the ceiling. “I kissed her that day. I took your advice and finally went for it. When she didn’t respond I ran. I ran home and I didn’t look back.”

“I didn’t tell you to accost her with your lips,” his father joked. “I said to tell her how you felt.”

Hedley flushed and closed his eyes, the scene replaying in his mind as if it had only just happened. “I know,” he whispered. “It just… I don’t know how it happened but it did. I screwed up. Before moving we didn’t talk to each other, we barely even looked at each other… And now she’s here. She told me she missed me today and all I could do was scream at her! What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing is wrong with you, Lee. You’re just a stubborn, hormonal teenager. It happens to the best of us. I remember this one girl, back when I was your age. I thought that she was the most amazing person I had ever met. I followed her like a lost puppy and waited on her every need,” he told him, his eyes glazed over with the memories of the past.

“Finally when she told me she had had enough with my pathetic demeanor and asked why I would let her treat me like dirt I told her she was beautiful and I loved her. You know what she did? She laughed. She laughed in my face.”

“Dad? What’s the point of this story?” Hedley interrupted.

“I realized that to get her I had to ignore her, treat her like she was nothing and just… be a man,” he continued as if Hedley had said nothing. “When I did that she started following me around, like I had done with her. So I asked her why and you know what she told me?”

“No, Dad, of course I don’t,” he responded monotonously.

“She told me she wanted to be near me because I was interesting. I was finally interesting! So I laughed and walked away. After that I pined over her for months and months. But then I met your mother. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t walked away, if maybe we’d be together and maybe I wouldn’t be alone, but I am thankful I did.”

“Why would you be happy about that? Mom was a tyrannical bitch that destroyed you by leaving!” Hedley seethed.

“I have you. She may have left, but she left me with you. I’m not alone,” he said with a wry smile. Hedley shoved him playfully, announcing that he was too cheesy, but smiled all the same.

It had given him little to think about. The situations weren’t that similar and his father’s outcome hadn’t ended with a happily-ever-after. His father ruffled his hair and left him to his thoughts, which were many. As he stared at his pale blue ceiling, like a cloudless sky, he knew what he had to do. He had to make her want him. He needed her to want him. To need him. To love him as he had loved her. And then he would break her like she broke him. He wouldn’t let her be happy when he was not. He grinned wolfishly as he developed the plan in his mind, mapping out the details meticulously.

“I’ll break you, Kaelyn Lafayette,” he whispered scornfully under his breath. “You’ll wish you hadn’t broke my heart. You’ll wish you had loved me back when you had the chance.”



The next morning Kaelyn walked sluggishly up the step to the main entrance of the high school. Before she could reach the door, she felt herself being yanked backwards. She stumbled back, a firm set of arms wrapping around her to stop her from falling down.

“Good morning, gorgeous!” the already familiar voice of Nikolai cheerfully greeted. “And how are you on this fantabulous day?”

She shrugged. “I’m alright, I guess,” she mumbled, hugging him in return. “How are you, Kole?” He beamed at the non-effeminate nickname and gave her two thumbs up.

She felt an arm wrap around her shoulders and sighed in frustration. Why must everyone sneak up from behind her this morning? The arm remained, even tightening it’s hold on her, as she looked to the owner of the intrusive limb. Her jaw dropped when she saw the familiar mop of black hair that framed his large jade orbs.

“Morning Kiz,” he greeted softly.

“Uh, morning,” she stammered, unsure of how to react. Yesterday he treated her like the scum of the world and now he was acting like his friendly old self; like her Heddy.

“Good morning, Auto!” Nikolai announced with his seemingly overjoyed self, though they both saw the apparent confusion in his eyes. “How are you on this lovely day?”

“Delighted,” he said, his eyes never wavering from Kaelyn’s petite form beneath his arm. “Purely Delighted.”

As she glanced around her, doing everything to avoid looking at him she saw Jerrick and Faye walking slowly up the pathway to the school, though Faye was several feet ahead of him with a quizzical look on her face. She was staring imploringly in their direction, her brow furrowed and her lips in a taut line, the corners turned down.

Behind her Jerrick continued to walk with his eyes on the ground, which Kaelyn was thankful for. She pushed away from Hedley and ran down the steps, smiling briefly at Faye as she passed and straight to Jerrick. She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her head in his chest. He stumbled slightly at first, but quickly reciprocated the hug.

“Good morning, my little one,” he mumbled into her hair, kissing the top of her forehead. “Are you okay?” he asked as she tightened her grip on him. She nodded and a smile stretched across his lips. “Shall we go off to class?” Again she nodded, receiving a light chuckle from within his chest.

As they made their way up the steps Kaelyn leaned further into his body. He saw Faye and Nikolai, breathing a sigh of relief as he saw that Auto was not accompanying them. If he had been there was sure to be trouble.

“Can I talk to you Kaelyn?” Faye asked as they neared. Kaelyn nodded her head, unlatching herself from her protector and walking off with the taller blonde.

“Hey man,” Nikolai spoke beside him as they watched the girls talk quietly. “Auto’s acting strange, look after her when you can. Faye and I are going to do the same.”

“I wouldn’t call lashing out numerous times at the girl is strange. We all know he’s got anger issues,” Jerrick snapped, immediately regretting his hostility. He had no right to place it on Nikolai. He liked him actually, he was a great guy. “Sorry.”

“No worries. I wasn’t talking about that, bro. He’s… uh, he’s being nice,” he explained, almost questioning it himself. “Faye and I can’t figure out if it’s sincere or just a ruse.”

“Well of course it’s a ruse! You should have seen what he did to her after school!” he struggled to keep his voice low, as the girls approached. “You ladies ready to go to class?” he asked as they reunited, a lopsided grin on his face He could feel that it wasn’t quite reaching his eyes, but he hoped no one noticed.

Faye said her goodbyes to the trio and they walked off in opposite directions. As the trio went off to their first period Faye met up with Auto at the end of the hallway. She glared at him before turning the corner and walking off to their class, not even slowing to wait up for him.

“Faye!” he called from behind her, jogging to catch up. Before he reached her she reeled on him.

“What are you playing at Hedley?” she sneered under her breath.

He stumbled from both avoiding hitting her and the shock of her tone and name usage. She only called him Hedley when she was seriously upset with him. She stepped dangerously close to him, jabbing him in the chest as she repeated her question, poking him sharply in the chest with each word.

“What do you mean?” he asked seemingly innocently, though he knew what she meant.

“You know exactly what I mean you ass!”

“Not a clue,” he mumbled as he stared off down the hall. He had never been more anxious to get to class.

“Yesterday you were cursing her existence and today you’re acting buddy-buddy with her. Why are you doing this?” she asked, placing her hands on her hips as she glared at him angrily.

“I talked to my dad after you left last night and I realized I can’t push her away,” he admitted quietly. He knew this was true, but there was no way he would admit to her what the end of his plan was. He could not tell anyone of his plot to break her.

Faye looked at him critically, trying to read his eyes. She couldn’t quite figure out if he was telling the truth, or what his motives were, but she didn’t feel as if there was much, if any, sincerity behind his actions. They had only just met Kaelyn, but she felt as if they all cared deeply for her; she was one of them. And as one of them, Faye could not let Auto hurt her.

They made their way to class in an uncomfortable silence, and that’s how they sat the rest of the period. Faye was used to little conversation with Auto. If she was looking for dialogue, she would look to Nikolai, the most talkative of the trio. However, Auto’s silence irritated her now. There was something going on in his head and she wanted to know what it was.