Passive
A new way of thinking
The morning pasted slowly, Rebecca’s usual quiet whisper annoying me through the first two lessons that day. Maths had consisted of answering questions and as my hand slowly crept over the page, I found myself scanning the classroom for any hint of indigo eyes or dirty blond hair but Wednesday didn’t seem to be in this class. Rebecca noticed my staring but I just ignored her questions focusing on my work. She had never really annoyed me before but today for some reason, the childish squeaky quality to her voice made my head ache and I had to tell her to be quiet from time to time. She just ignored me, quizzing me on my answers to the questions and talking about something she had watched on television last night. Normally I would have lapped up the information, wishing for a normal life where I was allowed a television or just the ability to watch even one of the programs Rebecca described. But the indigo eyes seemed to be imprinted on my mind, wiping any other thoughts away as I replayed her wink and the eye roll over and over again, the memories fresh and my breath catching in my throat when I relived them. It made talking difficult so I just chose to let Rebecca ramble on, using my own thoughts for entertainment.
Science was just as long and Rebecca’s continuous whispering was enough to drive anyone insane. I tried to casually look around the classroom but once again found that Wednesday was nowhere to be seen. I was disappointed as I had hoped that my first impression of her was right and that she was as clever as she looked. I was in the top sets for all my lessons, Rebecca in all of the same except for music and art. I was tapping my pencil on my desk as I stared at the equations that blurred in front of my eyes, when I heard the door open. I didn’t look up, knowing that the science teachers often came in and out to talk to each other. It wasn’t until I heard the talking from the rest of the class suddenly hush that I looked up. Wednesday stood with one hand on her hip as her beautiful eyes swept across the classroom at the staring children. Her smile didn’t seem to falter though her cheeks had a hint of pink as she walked towards the teacher’s desk. Her blazer and necklaces looked the same as they had yesterday but the top she wore today was a pale rose colour. It was short so that you could still see the gem at her belly button. Her shorts today were black instead of denim but her shoes were the same. Her makeup looked the same though you could tell it was fresh, the eyeliner dark and perfected so that her eyes looked out into the world with a sharp understanding of everything, that only she knew. Her shoes squeaked on the clean science floor and as I moved my eyes up her body, I saw her hands, screwed up into small fists, so that her nails were hidden. They showed her obvious discomfort at being stared at but from where she stood behind the teacher’s desk only I and Rebecca could see her discomfort. We were sat at the front and as I looked around me, I realised where the only spare seat was.
“Well, explain yourself. Why are you late?” The teacher barked at her but her lips just pulled up into a smirk at the angry tone.
“I slept in,” I realised I had never heard her voice before and found the deep tone in her voice quite surprisingly, her body told me her voice should have been more feminine. But it seemed to fit her perfectly and I felt myself blush as she turned to scan the class again and spotted me in the front row. She stopped smirking and gave me a proper smile, her brightly coloured pink lips pulled up at the corners. I realised I was returning the smile, giving a wide grin and showing my ugly slightly discoloured teeth. I bit back the pride I felt that she had noticed me and looked down embarrassed at my work again. I heard the teacher sigh at Wednesday’s response but he just gestured to the spare desk at the front. Wednesday walked confidently to the desk, dumping her bag and pulling back the chair closest to me. I had to stop my eyes from tearing from the page, the black and white of the page contrasting oddly with the images of the colourful Wednesday. I felt my eyes turn to look at her hands which were now relaxed and uncurled from the fists they had been in, to see her nails which today she had painted yellow, a bright colour which only made her skin look too pale against it. She tapped her nails on the desk as the teacher began to talk her through the worksheet. Not that she seemed to be listening. I quickly looked at her face which was swerved to the window by the door, looking out onto the grey, gravelly playground. Her expression was dreamy and I tried to imagine the thoughts a girl like Wednesday would think but came up with nothing.
Once the teacher had stopped talking, Wednesday leant down to get her pencil case from her bag, pulling the fabric of her top and blazer up slightly so that her pale skin could be seen, a small section of it revealing itself. A mark on the small of her back caught my attention and I found myself involuntarily leaning forwards to see the mark more clearly. It was a small white lily, its petals curling up so that you couldn’t see what lay within. The white of it looked odd against her skin. I realised shocked that it was a tattoo. Wednesday moved back quickly to sit up, her elbow catching me awkwardly in my stomach from where I sat on the edge of her seat, staring at her. She looked slightly taken aback by how close I was to her but it was all I could do to breathe properly, my nose suddenly smelling her sweet scent. It wasn’t a perfumed smell like the other girls, who sprayed themselves in cheap flowery sprays but just her natural smell. I could smell a clean, fresh scent with a hint of mint, maybe chewing gum or her shampoo. But as I smelled the scent, I found my breath stilling in my throat and my eyes flicking widely between her two eyes, we were so close that my eyes had to move backwards and forwards between the two pools of indigo just to look at her properly. She stayed smiling but her grin faltered a little, making me frown as I wondered why. I realised that I was still leant towards her and bit my lip, moving sharply away and facing the front.
I could feel both Wednesday’s and Rebecca’s eyes on me but I just concentrated on getting my breathing steady again and smoothing out my hair so that it hid the red tinge of my cheeks.
“Sorry,” I murmured, the weak sound barely audible as I apologised for being such an idiot. Rebecca glared at me and I could tell I was going to get an earful later.
“It’s okay!” I turned sharply towards Wednesday as her beautifully small painted hand found mine on the table and touched it lightly. Even that slight touch made me want to shake, devouring the feeling of her skin on mine whole. I wanted to reach out and take her hand in mine so that this feeling could last forever. She removed her hand and placed it next to mine on the desk, smiling at me before turning to her work. I did the same, pretending to be thinking hard when my brain couldn’t even attempt to read the first line of the sheet. I could feel my hands shake slightly and kept them pressed down firmly on the table so that the shaking stopped. My breathing was finally normal again and I spent the rest of the lesson staring at my work but not moving my hands, for fear the pathetic shaking would start again. I ignored Rebecca’s stare and when the bell went I packed my bag quickly and stood up waiting for dismissal. Rebecca was taking her time and I daren’t look at Wednesday, knowing my mind would drift back to the tattoo that I now knew she had. The teacher gave the usual nod and the class ran for the exit. Rebecca was still zipping up her bag and I turned towards the exit, ready to leave her and wait outside, when I had to stop suddenly because Wednesday was still stood there. She waited for the class to pile out of the door before marching to catch the door before it swung shut. Her head swirled and her eyes caught mine, locking them there, the pools of indigo making my head spin and my hands turn sweaty.
“See you around,” her deep voice spoke and she gave me a grin, her teeth white against the pink of her lipstick. I watched her walk away, her hands once again placed expertly into her back pockets. She probably knew my eyes would wander there and they did, watching the way her bottom rose and fell slightly as she walked. My stomach seemed to tighten as she turned the corner to the playground, her calves twitching at the movement. I realised my mouth was open and closed it quickly. I saw that the teacher had been watching me and he shook his head at me, knowing full well as a teacher the minds of hormone ridden teenagers. I was embarrassed but couldn’t stop my lips twitching as I realised that as much as I tried to deny it, I did like Wednesday. And I think she liked me too.
Science was just as long and Rebecca’s continuous whispering was enough to drive anyone insane. I tried to casually look around the classroom but once again found that Wednesday was nowhere to be seen. I was disappointed as I had hoped that my first impression of her was right and that she was as clever as she looked. I was in the top sets for all my lessons, Rebecca in all of the same except for music and art. I was tapping my pencil on my desk as I stared at the equations that blurred in front of my eyes, when I heard the door open. I didn’t look up, knowing that the science teachers often came in and out to talk to each other. It wasn’t until I heard the talking from the rest of the class suddenly hush that I looked up. Wednesday stood with one hand on her hip as her beautiful eyes swept across the classroom at the staring children. Her smile didn’t seem to falter though her cheeks had a hint of pink as she walked towards the teacher’s desk. Her blazer and necklaces looked the same as they had yesterday but the top she wore today was a pale rose colour. It was short so that you could still see the gem at her belly button. Her shorts today were black instead of denim but her shoes were the same. Her makeup looked the same though you could tell it was fresh, the eyeliner dark and perfected so that her eyes looked out into the world with a sharp understanding of everything, that only she knew. Her shoes squeaked on the clean science floor and as I moved my eyes up her body, I saw her hands, screwed up into small fists, so that her nails were hidden. They showed her obvious discomfort at being stared at but from where she stood behind the teacher’s desk only I and Rebecca could see her discomfort. We were sat at the front and as I looked around me, I realised where the only spare seat was.
“Well, explain yourself. Why are you late?” The teacher barked at her but her lips just pulled up into a smirk at the angry tone.
“I slept in,” I realised I had never heard her voice before and found the deep tone in her voice quite surprisingly, her body told me her voice should have been more feminine. But it seemed to fit her perfectly and I felt myself blush as she turned to scan the class again and spotted me in the front row. She stopped smirking and gave me a proper smile, her brightly coloured pink lips pulled up at the corners. I realised I was returning the smile, giving a wide grin and showing my ugly slightly discoloured teeth. I bit back the pride I felt that she had noticed me and looked down embarrassed at my work again. I heard the teacher sigh at Wednesday’s response but he just gestured to the spare desk at the front. Wednesday walked confidently to the desk, dumping her bag and pulling back the chair closest to me. I had to stop my eyes from tearing from the page, the black and white of the page contrasting oddly with the images of the colourful Wednesday. I felt my eyes turn to look at her hands which were now relaxed and uncurled from the fists they had been in, to see her nails which today she had painted yellow, a bright colour which only made her skin look too pale against it. She tapped her nails on the desk as the teacher began to talk her through the worksheet. Not that she seemed to be listening. I quickly looked at her face which was swerved to the window by the door, looking out onto the grey, gravelly playground. Her expression was dreamy and I tried to imagine the thoughts a girl like Wednesday would think but came up with nothing.
Once the teacher had stopped talking, Wednesday leant down to get her pencil case from her bag, pulling the fabric of her top and blazer up slightly so that her pale skin could be seen, a small section of it revealing itself. A mark on the small of her back caught my attention and I found myself involuntarily leaning forwards to see the mark more clearly. It was a small white lily, its petals curling up so that you couldn’t see what lay within. The white of it looked odd against her skin. I realised shocked that it was a tattoo. Wednesday moved back quickly to sit up, her elbow catching me awkwardly in my stomach from where I sat on the edge of her seat, staring at her. She looked slightly taken aback by how close I was to her but it was all I could do to breathe properly, my nose suddenly smelling her sweet scent. It wasn’t a perfumed smell like the other girls, who sprayed themselves in cheap flowery sprays but just her natural smell. I could smell a clean, fresh scent with a hint of mint, maybe chewing gum or her shampoo. But as I smelled the scent, I found my breath stilling in my throat and my eyes flicking widely between her two eyes, we were so close that my eyes had to move backwards and forwards between the two pools of indigo just to look at her properly. She stayed smiling but her grin faltered a little, making me frown as I wondered why. I realised that I was still leant towards her and bit my lip, moving sharply away and facing the front.
I could feel both Wednesday’s and Rebecca’s eyes on me but I just concentrated on getting my breathing steady again and smoothing out my hair so that it hid the red tinge of my cheeks.
“Sorry,” I murmured, the weak sound barely audible as I apologised for being such an idiot. Rebecca glared at me and I could tell I was going to get an earful later.
“It’s okay!” I turned sharply towards Wednesday as her beautifully small painted hand found mine on the table and touched it lightly. Even that slight touch made me want to shake, devouring the feeling of her skin on mine whole. I wanted to reach out and take her hand in mine so that this feeling could last forever. She removed her hand and placed it next to mine on the desk, smiling at me before turning to her work. I did the same, pretending to be thinking hard when my brain couldn’t even attempt to read the first line of the sheet. I could feel my hands shake slightly and kept them pressed down firmly on the table so that the shaking stopped. My breathing was finally normal again and I spent the rest of the lesson staring at my work but not moving my hands, for fear the pathetic shaking would start again. I ignored Rebecca’s stare and when the bell went I packed my bag quickly and stood up waiting for dismissal. Rebecca was taking her time and I daren’t look at Wednesday, knowing my mind would drift back to the tattoo that I now knew she had. The teacher gave the usual nod and the class ran for the exit. Rebecca was still zipping up her bag and I turned towards the exit, ready to leave her and wait outside, when I had to stop suddenly because Wednesday was still stood there. She waited for the class to pile out of the door before marching to catch the door before it swung shut. Her head swirled and her eyes caught mine, locking them there, the pools of indigo making my head spin and my hands turn sweaty.
“See you around,” her deep voice spoke and she gave me a grin, her teeth white against the pink of her lipstick. I watched her walk away, her hands once again placed expertly into her back pockets. She probably knew my eyes would wander there and they did, watching the way her bottom rose and fell slightly as she walked. My stomach seemed to tighten as she turned the corner to the playground, her calves twitching at the movement. I realised my mouth was open and closed it quickly. I saw that the teacher had been watching me and he shook his head at me, knowing full well as a teacher the minds of hormone ridden teenagers. I was embarrassed but couldn’t stop my lips twitching as I realised that as much as I tried to deny it, I did like Wednesday. And I think she liked me too.