Letters to Those Whom I Love

Dearest Kijana,

I just got a text from you that said "Hey beautiful". We have been dating since the sixteenth. We dated once before and we have been talking like that since December 28th 2012.

I had talked to you before that too. The thing is Ki, you were dating my once best friend. She told me that you two had met and she gave you head or fucked you or something, I don't know but then I ask you and you swear you never met her. You say that she has many times when she could but she always had an excuse.

She told me that she told you about Matt. I found out she lied about that too. You didn't know of Matt. You thought that she was being honest to you about everything. You thought she was being faithful. Yeah, so did Matthew.

You are the sweetest person ever. I used to think you were an asshole because when you were with Britt y'all always argued and she had to practically beg you to hear the words "I love you too" come from your lips. I say it and you say it back.

We argue all the time too but EVERY argument is because of Brittany. You see, I am sure you remember cheating on me with Britt. And then you broke up with be saying you are just going to be with her. We talked all through y'all dating.

You caught her in too many lies and broke up with her. I couldn't wait for that day because on the 12th you text me and said "Awwwww :) babe I love yu to. Oh and wen I move on from britt ur gonna be my wife no.matter wst. And I hope u will marry me" that is exactly what you said and exactly what the text looked like. Errors and all.

I don't want to argue about her anymore. I don't want to argue at all! I cannot Wait to meet you and feel your arms around me. I have one week from today and I get to feel that unless of course we go out Friday night.

My mom didn't respect you I know but she is learning that nothing is going to rip us apart. Not a girl, or a guy. Not Clayton or Britt. Not my mom or yours. I know that it is me and you.

You accepted an offer at a college and I was so happy for you. You said I was the first person you told and that makes me happy. That first time when we dated you said one of the reasons you fell for me was that you felt like you could tell me anything and you can. I will listen and help the best I can until I catch you lying to me or sneaking around behind my back.

If you were to do that I told you to just tell me straight up and we could work it out. You asked me to marry you and I said yes. My momma said that we cannot be engaged until I get a ring. And I am telling you to just get one out of that fifty cent machine. Nobody has money for that. Or a ring pop but ill eat that. In my mind we are engaged and in yours you say you feel the same way.

Maya. DJ. Those are the names we have picked out for the children we will have in the future. Mixed beautiful babies. My sister,Mia, always said that mixed are the most beautiful. When we text about our children you say you can't wait and that they will be beautiful like their parents.

You know about Kyler and Nolan. You know what happened and how much it hurts me. You just listen and comfort me with your soothing voice and your wise words.

My face gets really bright red when you call me boo or beautiful. My stomach gets butterflies and I feel like a little girl again. I don't want you to leave me and that scares me. You promised me you were never getting back with Brittany and that you wanted only me. My momma doesn't understand with us being so young but she doesn't have to. We understand.

"Ur my girl anf I will fight for yu. No matter wat" you sent that to me a w ek or so ago and anytime we argue I keep in mind that you said that and that makes me know you're willing to work anything out.

Last night I thought for sure we were finished but we aren't. You explained a lot to me and I understand more things now. If it is possible I love you even more.

I hope our son, if that is what God blesses us with, is as adorable as Zac. I will not get to meet him next week but I know I will soon after that. He gets on the phone and when he says I love you he makes me laugh and him always saying "wanna talk to K?" When you asked him if he wants to go with you to see me I was scared he would say no but he didn't.

It went kind of like "Ki, ask Zac if he wants to come." And you saying "Zac you wanna go with me?" And Zac saying "where?" And you saying "to see Alex." And him saying"Yes."

I am excited to meet him but also Zeo and Jeremiah. I still don't know what to get Zeo for his birthday so I guess ill just give him a card and ten dollars. Maybe fifteen. A dollar for every year. It depends on how much money I have.

You said you have a surprise for me but I don't know what that surprise is. And you're not giving any hints. But that's okay. Ki, did you know this would happen?

I feel bad because I took you from Brittany but y'all were not meant to be and she doesn't see that. She needs to because I'm tired of fighting about her. I love her I really do but even she said that night that she was bored in the relationship and was thinking of breaking up with you so I don't want her to be upset.

You remember the night that I was laying on the deck and you said you bought that one star for me? You were like Alex hurry and look I am in the stars and I was laughing and you were laughing. Remember how you said pick out the one you want and I picked it out and said well that is yours.

Do you remember singing to me? You were singing song after song. And then one of the lyrics said that the one person was his girl and I said who is your said and you said "you my girl."

I love you Ki. I don't know what I would do without you.

I'm your sugar lips and youvare my puddin. That will never change. And like I told you before I have moved on from Clayton and I know you can move on from Brittany. You say you have it is just a slow process. I know first loves. And I know she was yours.

I have you and you have me. No argument, person or other force will rip us apart. Trust and communication is what makes our relationship powerful.

I am proud to call you my boyfriend! I can't wait to see you next weekend, if your dad lets you have the car.

Love forever,
Sugar lips